Chapter 9

Casey

Alexander lay curled up under the covers and unclothed beside me. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a man stay the night, but I could say with certainty that this was the best first date—could I even call it that? – that I’d ever been on. I sat up and tiptoed over to the bathroom, trying my best not to wake Alexander. He looked absolutely perfect, even when he was sleeping.

There was something about Alexander that made me feel adventurous. He made me feel sexy in a way that no other man had before him. I knew it was probably bad to be considering getting involved with my sperm donor, or whatever he was, but I couldn’t help myself. This hunk had been coming into the clinic month after month, and I didn’t have the slightest clue how great we could be together.

Don’t get ahead of yourself, I told myself. It was only one date. After my first year in foster care, I learned to never get my hopes up until something was a sure thing. Every time I thought a family would be my permanent placement, something happened, and the rug was pulled out from under me. I didn’t want to have that same feeling with Alexander—or with the baby.

“Good morning,” I heard from across the apartment as I exited the bathroom.

“Hey there.” I walked over to Alexander, who greeted me with a hungry kiss. It was amazing to me how natural everything felt with him. We kissed like we’d been dating for months, and we had conversations like we’d known each other for years.

“What time do you have to be at the clinic today?” Alexander asked, looking at his watch.

“I actually have today off,” I said. “I’m working Saturday this week to cover the other admin assistant’s shift.”

Alexander grinned. “What a coincidence. I have it off too!”

“Don’t be silly,” I said, fake-shoving Alexander. “You’re the CEO!”

“Exactly. And I’m playing hooky today.” He paused. “That is, if you’ll have me.”

Like a giddy schoolgirl, I sat and listened as Alexander called into the office and told them he wouldn’t be coming in.

“Got anything in mind?” I asked.

“I was about to ask you the same thing,” Alexander said. “What were your plans today if this date had not gone so well?” A subtle wink only added to the adorable tone of his voice.

I sat down on the bed beside him. “I was thinking of heading over to Centennial Olympic Park to walk around a bit. I know it’s sort of cheesy, but—”

“It’s gorgeous there,” Alexander said. “Sounds perfect.”

Alexander decided that he didn’t want to do the walk of shame, walking around Atlanta in the same outfit he’d worn the day before, so we made plans to meet up in an hour at the park. As soon as I closed the door behind him, I pranced around my apartment the same way I had after my first date years earlier.

This guy had me smitten. I couldn’t think of one thing I didn’t love about Alexander—except, of course, the whole baby issue. I had to talk to someone about this. I needed some perspective.

“Hello?” Liana said through the phone.

I immediately regretted dialing, but it was too late. “Hey, Li!”

“What’s up?”

“I had a date last night… and this morning.”

“Shut up!” Liana exclaimed. “Tell me everything.” I told Liana everything—ok, not about the handcuffs—from the moment Alexander arrived at my door, to the moment he left a few minutes earlier. The one detail I couldn’t bear to tell her about was the pregnancy. I knew Liana would be completely shocked and confused by it, but maybe if this relationship with Alexander did blossom, it would soften the blow.

Liana was my best friend, but she didn’t hold back her opinion. Most of the time, this was a great trait that worked out in my favor. This time, I didn’t want her to burst my bubble before it inevitably burst itself.

“Case, this guy sounds amazing,” Liana said. “So, what’s the problem?”

“What do you mean?”

I could just picture Liana, wherever she was, smirking. “You only call to tell me about guys if something’s wrong with them.”

“You caught me,” I said. “The problem is that I can’t find a single damn thing wrong with him!”

I must’ve caught Liana in a sensitive mood, because she went on a five-minute rant about how I deserved the best and that fairytale guys did exist and that everything would work out. I thanked Liana for her well-meaning, albeit odd, advice and hung up the phone. I knew she couldn’t give accurate input on the situation without knowing that I was dating my sperm donor. I decided to wait and see how things went with Alexander the rest of the day before telling Liana anything else.

My watch revealed to me that Liana had taken up fifteen of the forty minutes I had before I had to leave for Centennial Olympic Park. Damn. I hurried over to my wardrobe and shuffled through my outfits. Nothing seemed good enough. I wanted an outfit that said “I’m interested” without saying “Come and get it, right here, right now.” It proved to be a surprisingly difficult task.

I tried on two sundresses before deciding dresses probably weren’t the way to go if we were going to be doing a lot of walking. After deciding on the perfect pair of comfortable yet chic jeans, I tried on three shirts before settling. It was a black top with a crystal design, showing a bit of cleavage without looking trashy. It was the best I could do.

I had to make a choice between putting on makeup and being five minutes late to meet Alexander, and I decided on the latter. I was lucky that most of my makeup had stayed on overnight, so he didn’t see me bare-faced. I wasn’t ready just yet for him to see me without concealer or eyebrow pencil. I quickly went through my routine—concealer, powder, blush, eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss—and grabbed my sunglasses from my nightstand. With a flick of the light switch and turn of the lock, I headed toward my car.

I found Alexander sitting on a bench near the parking lot ten minutes after we were supposed to meet. “I’m so sorry,” I said. “I had to make the choice between being on time and putting on makeup.”

“Well, you look great, so it was worth the wait,” Alexander said as he smiled. “Lead the way!”

I took Alexander down my favorite walking path and couldn’t help but get butterflies in my stomach when he intertwined his fingers with mine. We made our way around the fountains and watched as parents and children ran through the splash pad and rings of water. For a split second, I imagined it being me and Alexander with our child someday. This was the first time I really thought of the baby inside me as our child. I quickly shook the thought from my head. It was too soon to be thinking like that.

As we strolled through the gardens, my stomach let out a loud grumbling sound. I was absolutely mortified, but Alexander didn’t comment on it at all. He simply said, “I’m hungry. Want to go grab a bite to eat?”.

We stopped at a local café and were seated at a table in the corner of the small restaurant. As we dined on soup and sandwiches, Alexander gave me a detailed critique of Grease, which I’d fallen asleep during the night before. He knew how much I loved the movie, so having him take the time to give me the commentary I’d missed was just the sweetest thing. I loved that he didn’t take himself too seriously. I also loved that he seemed to take me seriously.

As we finished our last few bites, Alexander’s cell phone vibrated on the table. “Sorry about that,” he said.

I offered him an understanding nod.

“Don’t worry about it! Answer it! I’ve had you all to myself since last night.”

Alexander glanced down at his phone, a frown appearing on his face.

“I’m sorry, Casey,” he said. “There’s an important meeting at the company in an hour that I completely forgot about.”

I immediately felt terrible for taking him away from his work. Sure, he had called out willingly, but I didn’t want to be the kind of girl to tell her boyfriend—or whatever he was—what he could or couldn’t do.

“Duty calls,” I said. “But thanks for halfway playing hooky with me!”

“I’m really sorry,” Alexander said. “I was looking forward to spending the rest of the day with you.”

I leaned over and offered him a kiss as a way of showing him that I wasn’t upset about him cutting out early. This had already been the longest—and best—date of my life.

“I’ll just have to take a rain check.”

Alexander stood up from his chair and turned toward the door.

“You can count on it.”

The love songs on the car ride home made me wonder where this relationship was heading. Was it even a relationship? I put my hand on my barely-pregnant stomach, hoping it would hold the answers I was searching for. No such luck. It had been such a whirlwind eighteen hours that I nearly forgot I was pregnant. I was on an incredible date with an equally incredible man.

Now, as I wiped the raindrops that had begun to fall from my windshield, I questioned everything I knew. I finally had what I had been craving for so long, but it didn’t feel quite like I thought it would. I felt confused and excited and nervous and nauseous. I wondered if this was the universe’s plan for me all along. I wondered if Alexander felt the same way I was feeling. Most of all, I wondered what the etiquette was for dating your sperm donor.