Chapter 26

Alexander

The press attention had died down substantially in the weeks since Tamara and I made first page news, which made it a lot easier to sneak onto set to see her. That was advantageous, since she seemed to have been living there over the past few days as they wrapped up filming.

I was desperate to talk to her. Something felt off between us, even after our last trip to Springfield, and I hoped that it was my mind playing tricks on me. I knew she was busy, but it almost seemed like she’d been avoiding me.

I navigated through the busy back lot to her trailer with ease, clutching the bouquet of roses under my arm. I knew the way like the back of my hand. I knocked.

Something in the trailer moved and the door swung open. Tamara’s eyes flew open wide.

“Surprise!” I said, extending the flowers to her.

She smiled, but it was a tired, strained smile. It did little to dissuade my worries.

“You and that S word,” she said. “Come in.”

I followed her into the trailer and reached for her hand, stopping her mid-step. “Come here.”

Tamara turned and allowed me to tug her close, and as I enveloped her in my arms I felt her body relax. My free hand stroked the back of her head as my lips nuzzled into her neck.

“What’s wrong?” I murmured.

Tamara stiffened again. “Nothing.”

“It doesn’t feel like nothing.” I pulled back and looked at her, running my thumb down her soft cheek. “You don’t seem happy to see me.”

Tamara nibbled on her bottom lip and took the flowers from me, turning to grab a vase. “I’m busy. That’s all.”

“Bullshit, Tamara. Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”

She dropped the flowers and slammed her palms against the table, staring at the opposite wall like it was the source of all her problems. “Figure it out, Alex.” She whipped around and glared at me. “The fact that you don’t know is part of the problem.”

I ran through a mental list of things I’d done, things that might have upset her, but came up short. What could she be mad at me for? And why couldn’t I remember it?

“If I’ve done anything to offend you—“

“Ugh!” she exclaimed, tossing her head back in fury. “Alex, this isn’t about you offending me. I’m leaving! I’ve got a flight booked and everything and you know that, yet you don’t even seem to care. Does it faze you at all? Or are you just going to move onto the next as soon as I’m gone?”

“Move onto the next?” I asked through gritted teeth. “I’m insulted that you would even think that way.”

“Well join the fucking club.” She crossed her arms and turned her lips down into a scowl. “I wasn’t even going to mention this because I didn’t want to ruin our last two weeks together, but while we’re at it let’s just get it out there that I know about your pretty Swedish girlfriend. You might not be with her now, but how long after I leave until that starts up again?”

I nearly laughed but it didn’t seem right for the situation.

“Svetlana is not my girlfriend. Nor will she ever be.”

“Why not?” Tamara stalked toward me, getting close enough that my hands itched to reach for her. “She’s beautiful. She’s a princess. That makes her, how did you put it? One of your own.”

“She’s a friend,” I said. “That’s it. Edward tried to set us up but neither of us are interested.”

“I’ll remember that when I read your wedding announcement.”

I opened my mouth to protest but Tamara spoke over me, anger lacing her words like poison.

“What are you even doing with me anyway? This was a bad idea. We could never work! I can’t believe I deluded myself into thinking we could.” She scrubbed her hands over her face and let out a frustrated groan. “Just go, Alex. I can’t do this anymore.”

“I’m not leaving until we sort this out,” I said, stepping toward her.

Tamara backed away and pointed to the door. “Get out before I call security. I mean it.”

“Tamara—“

“GET OUT!”

With a leaden heart, I turned to the door.

I found Nana in her office downstairs. She peered at the screen of her computer through thick reading glasses that distorted her eyes and made them look buggy and huge, which I’d always thought funny. Today I couldn’t find the humor in it.

“Alexander,” she said as I entered, pulling off the glasses and letting them hang by the string around her neck. “Is that for me?”

“It sure is.” I set the mug of tea down on her desk.

She smiled. “You’re a good boy.”

I couldn’t help but release an undignified snort. “I wish everyone thought so.”

Nana’s brows furrowed in consternation and she closed the lid of her laptop. She could always tell when I was genuinely upset, rather than just a little moody as I sometimes was. Especially when it started with me bringing her tea.

“Oh no, Alexander. Something’s happened with you and Tamara?”

I leaned my hip against the desk and crossed my arms. “You’ve got a sixth sense for these things, eh?”

“You look sad,” she said, pointing to my eyes with one gnarled finger. “When you fight with your brother, you get angry. When you don’t get your way, you get surly. When you lose something you care about, you get sad. So either your charity has bit the dirt or you’ve lost your girl.”

As always, her familiarity was refreshing. It even helped drive a small smile onto my face.

“I don’t know what to do, Nana,” I admitted. “Tamara chased me out of her trailer today. She doesn’t think there’s any point us continuing what we’re doing since she’s leaving, and she’s got this screwed up notion in her head that we could never work together anyway.”

Nana’s lips flattened. “Don’t act like she’s speaking nonsense, Alexander. You’re not a fool.”

“You don’t think we could work either?” I ran a hand through my hair. “Am I the only one who doesn’t see a problem here?”

“Seeing a problem doesn’t mean being beaten by it,” she replied. “Tamara sees a problem and can’t conceive you two overcoming it. And you won’t be able to overcome it if you don’t see the same problem.”

“You’re talking in riddles.”

“You’re not listening.”

I growled in frustration. “I’m trying to. What are you saying?”

Nana sat back in her chair and took a breath, folding her arms. When she spoke, she enunciated each word clearly. “What do you want to do, Alexander?”

“I don’t know.” I groaned. “Tamara has given up on us. She thinks I should give up on us too.”

She raised her brows. “Is that what you want?”

“No, of course not. But what I want to do...” I paused and stared at her mug, chewing my lip. “What I want to do could cost me everything.”

Looking up at Nana, I remembered all the times she’d sat and chatted with my mother just like this. A steaming mug of tea. An impossible decision. A listening ear.

“What would my mom do?” I asked.

Nana’s eyes softened at the mention of my mother, and she pulled the mug toward her, cupping it in her hands.

“When people remember Noelle, they remember her softness. Her kindness.” Her mouth curved into a distant smile and she shook her head. “They have this image in their heads of a quiet, wholesome queen draped in white with a ring of laurels on her head. But you know what’s wrong with that that?”

“What?”

“Your mother may have been good and kind, but she was...what do the kids call it these day?” She paused to think, brightening when she recalled the phrase. “Noelle was a boss ass bitch.”

I laughed.

Nana continued. “Your mother would have fought for her heart’s desire, even if it meant going against the wishes of her family. When she looked at the crown, do you know what she saw?”

“What did she see?”

“She saw it for exactly what it is.” Nana smirked. “A piece of metal.”