Chapter 11

Casey

Driving toward Liana’s house, I wasn’t sure whether her last-minute dinner invitation was a blessing or a curse. The drive to Liana’s town home was exactly 2.2 miles, but it was enough to convince me that I should tell her the whole story about Alexander. After all, things were going well, and it might be nice to have someone to go to prenatal appointments with.

I walked up to the door with store-made white chocolate macadamia cookies—our favorite—and rang the doorbell. “Hey, Casey,” Greg, Liana’s husband, said. They had been married for about a year and a half, having met on a blind date set up by our other friend, Jane. I wasn’t extraordinarily close with Greg, but Liana was like a sister to me, so I made a mental note to get to know her husband better. Maybe there were even some double dates in our future.

Greg led me into the kitchen, where a very pregnant Liana turned to greet me. It had only been a month since I’d last seen her, but, apparently, a lot can happen in a month when you are pregnant with twins. “Look at you!” I squealed. “You have a bump and everything!”

Liana scurried over to give me a hug as Greg disappeared down the hall into his office. “Isn’t it crazy that it’s actually happening?”

“So crazy,” I said. “Doesn’t it feel like just yesterday we were little college sophomores, thrown together in a random room assignment?” I knew Liana didn’t like to talk about college unless I brought it up, because my dropping out hurt her almost as badly as it hurt me. She was devastated to finish senior year without me, and I knew she avoided bringing up Georgia State so I wouldn’t have to relive the awful ending.

Liana nodded. “It’s crazy how time flies.” With oven mitts on her hands, Liana reached into the oven and pulled a disposable metal pan from the oven. “I didn’t really feel like making homemade lasagna, so I bought a frozen one from the store. Hope that’s ok!”

“Sounds perfect!” I said. Lasagna was the one food that Liana—a super picky eater—and I could both agree on, so it was our go-to dinner when we got together.

As Liana cut pieces of lasagna and put them on each of our plates, I drew in a breath. I knew I couldn’t hold in my news any longer. More than that, I knew Liana would give me a mouthful if I did. “So, how’s it going with the new guy you’re dating?” she asked.

“I’m pregnant,” I blurted. The words were out there, and there was no taking them back. Liana nearly dropped the plate of lasagna she was holding as she looked up to see if I was joking.

“You’re…what?”

“Sit down,” I said. “It’s a long story.”

“Are you serious?” Liana asked.

I nodded. “It’s still early, so it’d be great if you wouldn’t tell anyone.” I’m not sure why I even bothered adding that last part. Liana and I had maybe half a dozen mutual friends, so she couldn’t do all that much damage.

“Of course,” she said. “Now start with the long story.”

I didn’t know where to start, so I told Liana about how I’d been majorly crushing on Alexander for months. Then, I gave every detail I could remember about the day that changed everything. My story was interrupted with intermittent gasps of “Oh my gosh” and “No way”, but I finally finished up with the lowdown on the second half of our overnight date.

“I don’t know how this happened, Li,” I said. “I’m confused and anxious and unsure of what I want, but I’m also happy.”

“You’re pregnant!” Liana exclaimed. “We get to raise our babies together!”

In all the chaos of the past few weeks, I had forgotten that this baby growing inside me would be just a few months younger than Liana’s boys. “That’s right,” I said. “Kind of crazy how that happened.”

“So, what are you going to do about Alexander?”

“That’s the problem,” I said, shoveling a bite of lasagna in my mouth. “He complicates everything. As unconventional as it sounds, I sort of thought he would, you know, give me his sperm, and that would be that. I didn’t expect to fall for him.”

Liana nodded sympathetically. “He sounds great, Case.”

“He really is. And so far out of my league it’s crazy. He’s just charming and sexy and kind. But is it wrong of me to date him?”

“The heart wants what it wants,” Liana said. “But I’m still trying to soak in the fact that you had a guy you barely knew have sex with you just to impregnate you.”

I buried my face in my hands. It sounded pretty bad when she put it that way. “You know how badly I want a baby, a family.”

“I know, sweetie. But, as harsh as this may sound, having a baby, especially as a single mother, isn’t going to heal old wounds. Obviously, you’ve made your choice, but just make sure you’re having this baby for the right reasons.”

For the first time since the pregnancy test came back positive, I was not only doubting my relationship with Alexander, but also my ability to be a mother. “You don’t think I’ll be a good mom,” I said.

Liana shook her head so fast I thought it was going to fall off. “Don’t be silly,” she said. “You’re going to be an amazing mom. I see how great you are with Jane’s girls, and I know how badly you want to be a mom. I’m just surprised by all this. That’s all.”

“I get it. It certainly took me by surprise.”

“Casey, I’m just happy you’re happy,” Liana said. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you light up like you do when you talk about Alexander.”

That was exactly what I needed to hear. All I needed was some reassurance that I wasn’t crazy for wanting to see where things went with Alexander. We finished our lasagna, scooping the last bits of melted cheese from our plates, as Liana updated me on her job.

As a social worker in a more urban area of town, she always had an interesting—and sometimes scary—story to share. She took my mind off the baby and Alexander with a story about a nasty custody battle that had resulted in the shooting of a local police officer. I had heard about it in the news, but I had no idea Liana was the social worker on the case. I wasn’t a spiritual person by any stretch of the imagination, but I told myself that I would start praying for Liana’s safety each day.

Seeing Liana get up to go to the bathroom half a dozen times over the two hours I spent with her made me nervous about what was to come in my pregnancy. Oh well. I would face it when the time came. Over our cookie dessert, after a quick bathroom break, Liana asked me a question I wasn’t prepared for. “If things work out with Alexander, are you going to raise the baby together?”

“I…uh…” I said. “I mean, we’ve never really talked about it.”

Liana wasn’t one to take deflected answers. “But would you like that?”

“I guess so,” I said with a shrug. “What parent doesn’t dream about raising their child as part of a complete family? But I don’t want to get my hopes up. I wanted this baby without any expectation of having the father involved.” I knew that, deep down, I was probably lying both to Liana and to myself. Even though Alexander was still new in my life, he seemed like he’d make an amazing father, with his kind, understanding nature.

Loading me up with half the lasagna and the few remaining cookies, Liana sent me on my way with a promise to let her know when my first prenatal appointment was, and to update her on any new happenings on the Alexander front. I walked back to my car, relieved to finally have someone to talk to about all of this.

I checked my phone for the first time since I’d gotten to Liana’s house and saw two text messages from Alexander. The first one said, Hope your night is as lovely as you are. The second message sent my heart fluttering. Clear your schedule this weekend. I’m taking you camping.