Chapter 22

Derek

Saturday. Our final day in my father’s home.

“What do you want to do today?” I asked Amy, after spending a leisurely morning in bed. We sat out on the back porch, on a swing that faced the large courtyard and garden. “Anything you want. It’s our last day here.”

“Hmm.” Amy kicked her feet out, thinking. “I don’t know. You know, I’m not sure I’ll know how to return to real life after all this.”

I laughed. “No? Why not?”

“Uh, because, look at this.” She gestured her hand around. “This never existed in my life before. I don’t know how I’m going to go back to my boring old life, having experienced so much of this one.” She shrugged. “I’m not complaining. Just saying. This was amazing. I can’t thank you enough for letting me into your life this week.”

I wanted nothing more than to fall to my knees and tell her, beg her, to stay. Explain that she didn’t have to go back. That I never wanted to let her go.

“Of course,” I said. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me and my father.”

We fell back into silence. There was some tension between us. It was caused by the uncertainty of our future. Questions loomed. What are we? What will we be?.

“Want to take a walk in the garden?”

“That sounds lovely.”

I stood up, and took her hand in mine. Holding her hand had become so natural. It wasn’t an act. It was genuine.

We headed into the garden, which was set up like a maze. Easy to get lost in.

“What’s your favorite flower?” I asked her, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“Hmm.” She thought for several moments. “Daffodils.”

“Which one are those again?”

“They’re small and yellow. What about you?”

“What about me?”

“You’re favorite flower, duh.”

I laughed. “I don’t have one.”

She clicked her tongue. “Well, why not?”

I shrugged. “Guess I never really thought about it.”

We were quiet for a few moments, before Amy sighed.

“I really love it here,” she said. “It’s grand.”

“You’ve helped me to see it through new eyes,” I told her. “I appreciate it a lot more than I used to.”

“That’s good.” She smiled. “And we had a hell of a week, didn’t we? I feel like I lived a lifetime in a few days. I’m going to need a recovery period.”

I chuckled. “It was an extraordinary week for me, too. And not a single fight with my father. That’s a first.”

“You two really seem to be getting along now.”

“Much better. I have you to thank for that.”

“I don’t know what I did. You two just needed a little push. Besides, I think he’s wonderful. A little grumpy, but once you get past that, he’s basically the most lovable old man ever.”

“I don’t know what you did either,” I admitted. “But a complete change has come over him, I can assure you. He used to be pretty nasty, to almost everyone that came here. But you show up, and poof! I can’t explain it.”

“I mean, I know that a big part of is it that he thinks we’ve made him a grandfather.” Amy’s voice suddenly changed, like it always did whenever we talked about this subject. “His final wish came true. His fear of his family not carrying on after him has been fixed. He believes we’re going to live happily ever after.”

“Amy,” I said, sensing her mood dropping. “You don’t know how miserable he was before. You really did save him a great deal of pain.”

“If you say so,” she said, but she didn’t sound sure.

“I’ll transfer the money tonight,” I said. It was the only thing I could think to say. The words escaped awkwardly, forced.

Amy looked at me strangely. “What?”

“The fifty grand I promised you. A deal is a deal. You did what I asked.”

“No, Derek. I don’t want your money.”

“I’m a man of my word.” I shrugged, turning away. “I know you didn’t do this for money, Amy. But I still want you to have it. I want to help you.”

“What the hell?” She grabbed my arm. “What’s wrong with you? You’re acting really weird all of a sudden.”

“I’m not.” My shoulders rose defensively. “I just don’t want you to think that I’m stiffing you. I told you I’d pay you, and I’m going to.”

“And I’m telling you not to. I don’t want it. And I’m not trying to be ungrateful.” She shook her head. “What the fuck would I even do with that much money?”

“Christ, Amy. I don’t care. Pay for college, or rent, or go on a shopping spree. Money is money. It’s meant to make you more comfortable. So do whatever makes you happy.” I was suddenly angry—but not at her.

“Listen. I’m a businessman. I offered this money for your help. I’m going to pay you. I don’t want it to come back and bite me in the ass.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” her eyes narrowed. “Are you saying that you think I’m going to come sue you or something?”

“What?” My voice rose, incredulous.

“How else would it ‘bite you in the ass?’ Do you really think I’d be like, oh, he said he was gonna pay me, but he didn’t, blah blah blah… is that what you think of me?”

“No,” I said. “All I mean is…” I wasn’t sure what I meant. “Not that. I know you wouldn’t do that.”

“Then why is this such a big deal?”

I took a deep breath. “It’s not. So you should just take the fucking money.”

“I don’t know how many times I have to repeat myself.” She looked away. “And you don’t have to be so rude.”

“Rude? I’m not trying to be rude.”

“Yeah, well, you are. So lay off.”

“Amy…” Guilt pierced me when I recognized the hurt in her eyes.

She was angry now. “No. You know how much I struggled with this. How much I went back and forth trying to decide if we were doing the right thing. I finally thought, yeah. I’m helping you. I’m helping your father. Because I wanted to. If I take your money, all this becomes about that. It becomes wrong.”

“I don’t understand why.”

“Because,” she said. “Doing something for money and doing something because it’s the right thing are two very different things.”

“But no one is saying you’re doing it for the money,” I explained. “No one. You helped me out, so I’m trying to help you. That’s all.”

“Yeah, well, thank you, Derek. But you’ve already helped me in ways more valuable than money.” She looked at me, sighed, and managed a small smile. “I don’t want to argue with you anymore, okay? It’s pointless. I just want to enjoy the day with you.”

I studied her, then nodded. “Okay.”

My phone rang. I glanced at it. It was work.

“I have to take this,” I said.

Amy pretended to pout. “Alright. But be quick.”

‘It wasn’t quick. Almost half an hour later, I hung up, and returned to her.

“What’s wrong?” she frowned, seeing the unhappy expression on my face.

“The firm. They say they need me. Apparently it’s an emergency.”

Amy’s face fell, crushing me. “Oh.”

“Yeah. There was a business trip to Maine, which I didn’t go on because I thought they’d be able to cope without me. Someone said something to the press and ticked a bunch of people off. Now I have to go set it straight. I have to fly out and I won’t be back until tomorrow morning. I tried to tell them I couldn’t make it, but they wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“Okay,” Amy said, her voice quiet. I could tell that things were still a little tense between us.

“I messaged Adam. He’s going to pick me up. I should get ready.”

Amy nodded, but didn’t say anything more. She followed me back into the house, and up the stairs to my bedroom, where she sat on the bed and watched me pack my work clothes.

My frustration had built. What I wouldn’t do to forget about work, to stay here, to comfort Amy, to make everything good between us. Now that our week together was coming to an end, something had changed between us, and I wasn’t sure how to remedy it. Voicing my feelings would only make it worse. The right course of action was to just let her go.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” I told Amy, once I had everything ready and Adam had messaged me that he was at the door. “Tomorrow morning. We’ll do something together, just you and me, before we leave, okay?”

Amy nodded, a polite smile on her face. “Yeah. That sounds good.” But her words fell flat.

I walked over, and kissed her on the lips, hard. She responded, wrapping her fingers in my shirt and pulling me into her. We kissed for several seconds, before I pulled away, using all of my willpower. For the first time in my life, I truly hated my job. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed with this woman, to live whatever time I had left with her to the fullest.

“Tomorrow,” I said. The word sounded like a promise.

“Tomorrow,” she said, as I opened the door and left her.

That evening, in the backseat of Adam’s vehicle on the way to the airport, I transferred the money to Amy. I thought it might make me feel better, but for some reason, it left me unsettled.