“I don’t want to go to sleep,” Bella complains from her room. “I want to sleep with you and Laura.”

It’s nighttime in Beijing, and we are all thrown off schedule. Bella has slept on the entire plane ride over here and is in no mood to sleep some more.

“I know, Bella, but look outside. It’s night over here. You know what we have to do at night.” I hear Maxwell’s low voice in the other room. He’s been trying to convince her for the past fifteen minutes.

“But I’m scared over here,” she says in a small voice. “Can you sleep by me?”

“No, honey. You need to sleep in your own bed, just like you do at home,” Maxwell explains.

“Maybe Laura will sleep by me,” Bella says with excitement.

“Well, no,” Maxwell says slowly. “Laura and I are married now, so she sleeps with me.”

I hear a muffled sound and a thump. Bella has probably assumed her pouting position, which is when she faceplants into a bed, a sofa, a pillow, or anything soft nearby.

“Come on, honey, you know the rules.” Maxwell sighs. I hear her trademark whimpering when she knows she’s on the losing end of a battle, and breathe a sigh of relief. I appreciate how Maxwell is always patient with her, being able to talk her out of something is not easy. He stays calm while she makes sense of the rules, never making her feel as if she is causing him any delays.

“Okay, Daddy,” she relents. “But tomorrow, can we have pancakes? Laura said she knows how to make blueberry ones, and she said she’d make them for me.”

“Oh, that sounds like a great idea once we get home,” I say cheerfully from her doorway, having come to her room to kiss her goodnight. “Since we’re not home, it’s hard to get all the ingredients and find a place to cook all that stuff.”

Bella looks disappointed, but nods. “Okay.” She looks at me and back at Maxwell. “Daddy, do you love Laura like I do?”

Maxwell looks uncomfortable, and I make an excuse about getting into pajamas before slipping out of the room. Bella is tiny, but she’s full of direct questions that leave no wiggle room. I’ll let Maxwell do his magic because I’m not sure how great I am at fielding those questions just yet.

Nearly thirty minutes later, I’m still not in my pajamas. After having slept so much on the plane, I know lying down now will be pointless. Maxwell is still in the room with Bella, which tells me she’s convinced him to stay with her until she falls asleep. I get the files I was working on earlier. There are a few things I need to ask Sam about, but since I can’t sleep, I might as well get some work done so I can focus on Bella tomorrow. With so many changes around her, I imagine she’s going to act out if she doesn’t feel more love and a sense of normalcy about her.

Settling into the office area, I spread out my work, reading for a few minutes before I get up to retrieve my laptop. Maxwell pops his head out of Bella’s room. “Can you stay with her? She’s asking for you. She’s almost asleep, so it shouldn’t take too long. Maybe if you read her one story?” He looks exhausted, bags forming under his eyes from lack of sleep.

“Of course,” I tell him. “It’s not a problem. You should get some rest. Don’t you have some early meetings?”

“Yeah. I couldn’t sleep on the plane,” he says. “I rarely do.”

I avoid his gaze. After the surprise he gave me when I returned from the restroom, I knew he had plenty of energy to spare. It’s no wonder he’s as exhausted as he is. I had no trouble sleeping after my release, though. Which is why I’m in the predicament that I’m in now. “I’ll stay with her,” I say, brushing past him into Bella’s room.

Closing the door behind me, I see that Bella is indeed sleepy. Her eyes are heavy, but she’s doing her best to fight off the sleep. “Hey, I heard you couldn’t sleep,” I say softly. I kneel down to stroke her hair away from her forehead.

“Yeah,” Bella says, turning to face me. She cups her hands and tucks them under her cheek. “I want to talk to you because I missed you.”

“Oh Bella, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” I say. I’m always surprised at how honest and articulate she is.

“I know.” She closes her eyes briefly, and I think she’s falling asleep but she opens them again. “Can you read me one story? Daddy said you might read one if I ask nicely.”

“Of course,” I say. “Which one do you want to hear?” I pull out her backpack and dig through to find some of her favorites. “Any of these?” I show them to her. There’s a low wattage bulb that casts a shadow over everything near Bella, so I try holding the books on the other side of her bed so she can see them.

“Laura, can you lie down with me and read this one?” She selects a princess book from the pile, and I put the rest away.

“Sure.” I lie down next to her and read the book slowly. I see her eyes begin to droop before the last two pages are done. I finish it and wait, watching her eyelids for movement. She murmurs lightly and holds my arm in place before I can pull it away to leave. Okay, ten minutes and then I can sneak away. With nothing else to do, I close my eyes while I wait.

When I wake up, the room is pitch black. There’s a faint snoring next to me, and Maxwell’s arm is thrown across my body. Squinting, I see a soft glow around the corner and know I must have made it to my own bed. I extract myself from under his arm and swing my legs over the side of the bed. Feeling my way to the bathroom, I turn on the lights, and I’m shocked to see myself wearing pajamas. When did I change?

When I go to use the bathroom and freshen up, I find that I’m not wearing underwear. I’m trying hard to remember when I left Bella’s room. I brush my teeth and wash my face. I haven’t traveled much, but I think the time change has affected me more than I thought it would.

It must have been Maxwell who changed me, I think. I packed these clothes at the last minute when I was trying to focus on telling the movers what to box up and move to Maxwell’s house, and what to donate, while simultaneously packing for these trips. And I never skip underwear, no matter how tired I am.

I don’t know how to feel about him taking those liberties with me. It’s not as if he could have outlined all the nuances of what he has a right to do. I don’t feel violated, but I do feel as if I don’t have control over anything, and it’s off-putting. I need to feel in control. Whatever will happen during the next year has to be something I can put behind me and move on. Things like this will only confuse me.

I decide to tell him this in the morning; I don’t need it to happen again. If I put my foot down about this now, he’ll have to respect my boundaries for other things. It’ll be easier for both of us if we keep it business in the daytime and leave the nights for sex.

When I get out, I don’t see Maxwell anywhere. I peer over to Bella’s door and see that it’s ajar. Padding over to it, I see him emerge and close it behind him with a soft click. He turns to see me looking back at him. My eyes have adjusted to the darkness, and I can tell from his stance that he wants to finish what we started on the plane. Whatever I was planning on telling him isn’t on my mind anymore. I want to feel him inside me.

Drawing closer to me, he picks me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck. His lips come crashing down on mine. He strides down the hall to the bedroom, pushes the door shut with his foot, and presses me up against it. I love the feeling of his hard body pushing against me. My nipples are straining against the pajama top, aching for his attention. He peels down my top and releases them. He laps at each one before favoring the right one, nipping and sucking on it, causing my hips to thrust against his.

I let out a low moan when I realize that my position, as delicious as it is, doesn’t allow me much room to maneuver. I want to explore his body and watch him unravel like he did on the plane. It was empowering to be able to give him that, and I want to see what else makes him lose his control.

He drops me down slightly when he peels my shorts off. I’m bare except for the pajama top covering my midsection. I don’t feel exposed, though. I’m impatient. I tear off the tank top and stand naked in front of him. He’s wearing too many clothes for this activity, and I’m going to do something about that.

I lower his shorts down slowly, and watch his cock spring free and point between my thighs. I push them all the way down, and he steps out of them quickly, taking his shirt off while he does. When I start moving toward the bed, he grabs my wrist and pulls me back. Before I can open my mouth, he’s picked me up and resumed the position we were in moments ago.

I’m only slightly disappointed that I can’t do anything to make him squirm like he’s done to me. His mouth covers my left nipple while he grinds his hips into mine. Propped against the wall, his hands are free to roam. Both of his hands move down to my bottom. He begins kneading and squeezing it.

I’m so wet, now, and need him inside. One of my hands moves between us, and I stroke his cock before angling it to my entrance.

I push my hips forward, and the tip enters, but I want more. “Please,” I whisper. “I can’t wait anymore.”

He doesn’t say anything, but he readjusts me higher against the wall before he bends his head down to bite my neck as he thrusts inside. I let out a yelp when I feel his full, throbbing length inside. My muscles contract around him, and he begins to slowly pump himself into me with slow, measured thrusts.

Every nerve in my body is humming. I can’t get enough of the sensation of my inner thighs against his coarse leg hair. His hard chest barely touching my swollen nipples before retreating each time he pulls himself out.

I moan again and tilt my head up. I close my eyes and want him to continue all night. His hands are still under me, a firm grip on either side of my butt, stretching it apart. It makes his cock fill me even deeper. Right when I think it can’t feel any better, he starts pumping faster. The impact causes his balls begin to slap against the part of me he has exposed when he pulled me apart.

“Max, oh my God, Max!”

“Laura, dammit, you’re so tight,” he says. I see his jaw clench in the light. “You feel so good, I don’t want to stop.”

“No, don’t stop,” I plead. I can’t believe the words that come out of my mouth, but I can’t stop them. “Please, do me all night, Max. Your cock feels so incredible. You feel so incredible. I never want you to stop.”

Max groans and starts thrusting harder, and before I know it, I’m reaching the crest before I explode. I know he came with me because I can feel the wetness dripping out of me.

After he lets me down, I feel a self-consciousness that wasn’t there before. I stoop to get my clothes on my floor, and he does, too. I pause to put them on but stop when I see him walking to the bathroom, clothes in hand. He closes the door, and I hear the shower running soon after. I clean myself up a little with wipes and wait on the bed for him to finish so I can shower, too.

This is how the next year is going to be, I remind myself. Sex is sex; nothing said during it means anything. It’s only said to heighten the experience. And anyway, it’s not like either of us said anything that crossed any emotional boundaries.

So why do I feel so empty? I need to be firmer with myself and abandon any preconceived notions I have about marriage. For starters, no more princess books are to be read before bedtime, I think as my eyes close for what seems like the hundredth time today.