I smile before I open my eyes. Last night was like a dream. When I first saw Ethan in the park, I promised that I wasn’t going to lose myself.

Yet here I am again.

I roll onto my side and open my eyes. The bed beside me is empty, only a tangle of sheets at my side. I frown, and sit up, clutching the bedsheets to my chest and looking around.

“Ethan?”

No reply.

A cold sense of dread fills me. I’ve been here before. I get out of bed and pull my robe around me. I start to search the apartment. There’s not much to search.

The living room is just as we left it the night before: two half-empty glasses holding cheap wine, and an empty bottle on the coffee table. There’s nobody in the kitchen, but I still turn on the lights just to make sure.

I stop a moment outside the bathroom, praying that I’ll hear running water, but it’s silent. I push the door ajar and peer inside. Ethan’s not there.

I even run to the window and glance outside, as if he’ll be taking a casual morning stroll. Racking my brain, I try to remember what we spoke about the day and night before. I know he’s in town for a convention. Was that today? Maybe he had to leave. Maybe he’s gone to get coffee or breakfast.

I reach for my cell to call him, and then remember that I don’t have his number anymore. Pacing around the apartment, I feel close to tears. This can’t be happening again.

I call Chloe.

“Lily? Is everything okay? What time is it?”

“It’s early.”

“What’s wrong?”

I pause before I answer. Chloe knows how long I’ve pined for Ethan. I worry what she’ll say when she knows I spent the night with him. “Ethan’s in Payson.”

“Ethan Steele? Holy shit, how do you know?”

“Because he just left my apartment.”

“Lily.” I hear the concern in her voice. “What happened?”

I tell her everything. How Ethan was waiting for me at the park. How I invited him back to my apartment. How we spoke about old times. How he kissed me.

“And now he’s gone,” I sob. “I’m an idiot, Chloe. A stupid fucking fool.”

“You’re not stupid, Lily. He’s a jerk. I can’t believe he’s done this to you again.”

I collapse onto the sofa, my head in my hand. The tears won’t stop flowing. Yesterday’s mascara begins to clump around my eyes. Biscuit brushes against my shin and then jumps onto my lap. I toy with his fur as I pour my heart out on the phone.

“He was acting just like the old Ethan. We were talking and laughing. He told me he was going to be in town for a while. I don’t know where he’s gone. I don’t have his number or the address where he’s staying. I don’t know what to do.”

“Do nothing, Lily. He’s not worth chasing. Not if this is how he treats you.”

“I don’t understand. It felt like it used to, like nothing had changed. He was being kind. I thought he was feeling something.”

Chloe tries to comfort me. “Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he’s just gone out to get breakfast.”

“It’s been an hour.”

“He could be at the convention?”

“Why wouldn’t he wake me to say goodbye?”

“Lily, honey, I don’t know.”

“This isn’t fair. It took me forever to get over him.”

“You never did get over him though, did you?”

I fall silent.

She speaks again. “I know you care about him, but I think he’s a dead end. Just the other night you were with Vincent Oswald. It’s not like Ethan’s the only fish in the sea. Maybe for your own self-preservation, you need to move on.”

“I wish I knew how.”

“What’s this hold he’s got over you, Lily? He left when you were eighteen. He didn’t get in touch for over a decade—I don’t think he’s any good for you.”

“I can’t believe he would lead me on, knowing how much he hurt me.”

“Maybe he doesn’t realize the damage he did the first time.”

I sniff and wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. “It felt so special last night. I thought he was coming back to me.”

“Oh, sweetie.” Chloe breathes. “I don’t want to upset you, but I’m worried that you’re going to get hurt. Remember the world that Ethan comes from now. He has his penthouse, his Ferraris, and all the rest. I don’t think he’s ever coming back to Payson. He’s in town on a business trip, and while that might mean the world to you, maybe he’s the one just passing the time.”

Her words are like a punch in the gut, but I know she’s trying to make me see sense. She’s right—why would Ethan ever return? He’s living the high life now, with his press releases and Italian girlfriends. I’m just a fond memory he chose to relive.

“I’m supposed to be seeing Vincent tonight.”

“That’s today?”

“He says he’s planned a surprise.”

“Are you going to go?”

“I don’t know.”

Chloe’s voice grows firm. “Lily, you should go. I know you’re hung up on Ethan, and I’m furious that he’s come into your life and messed with your head again, but you’ve got a chance to move on.”

“And who’s to say Vincent’s not the same?”

“Any guy could be, rich or poor, regardless. You’ve got to take a chance again someday.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“What are you on about? If Ethan fucking Steele hadn’t stormed back into your life, you’d be going on that date. Don’t let him set you back again. Come on, Lily—you were just starting to get somewhere.”

* * *

Mark leans in for a kiss, and I push him away. “Cut it out.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m trying to watch the movie.”

Someone from the row behind hisses at us to shut up.

Mark lowers his voice into a softer whisper. “You’re fucking frigid.”

“Charming.”

“Seriously, Lily, it’s been a couple of months now, and you won’t let me near you. Have I done something wrong?”

“It’s not appropriate in public, Mark.”

“Fine.” He stands up and storms out of the theater. I sit for a moment with the warm popcorn on my knees, then decide to follow him out.

He’s waiting in the foyer and frowns when he sees me. “Oh, you noticed when I left?”

“What’s your problem, Mark?”

“My problem is you don’t give a fuck about me, Lily!”

“That’s not true.”

“It is true. I’ve tried everything. I’ve gone the places you like to go and done the things you like to do. I traced a picture out of a book to make you think I could draw. And all the time, I know I’m never going to be as good as your precious Ethan!”

I fold my arms and turn my back on Mark. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“Am I? No matter what we do, it’s ‘Ethan this, Ethan that.’ If any other girl I was with spoke that much about her ex, I’d send her packing, but for some reason, I put up with it from you.”

I turn on him, my voice rising. “Why are you still here, then, if I’m such a chore?”

He looks defeated and lifts his hands. “Because I thought if I waited long enough, you’d get over him, and realize I’m a pretty great guy, too. But, you’re never going to get over him, and I obviously can’t live up to him. Just remember, Lily: if he cared, he’d be the one out on a date with you. He’s not here, though, is he?”

* * *

“You’re probably right,” I say. “Ethan’s had enough chances to make things right.”

“It’s his loss, Lily. You’ve got to look out for yourself now, and try and find some happiness. Biscuit is great, but you need more company than a cat. If you wait for Ethan to man up, you’ll be watching your life pass you by.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“You win. I’ll go out with Vincent again.”

“Good for you, girl. Make sure you call me and let me know how it goes.” I hear the relief in Chloe’s voice.

“I will.”

“Keep your chin up. Ethan doesn’t know what he’s missing, and Vincent’s a lucky guy. You’re a catch, Lily. Don’t settle for anyone.”