As the days close in on my flight, I get emotional and find many projects around the house. I don’t need to be doing anything here. I’m not needed. Max made himself clear that the door was wide open and he could handle things on his own. It was easier to leave before when I thought he was undecided.

Riley’s come to help me sort out my things and get rid of the stuff that I don’t need before I go. This is all an excuse, though. When I left earlier, I went with the mindset that I would return to go through the belongings I left behind. But there is nothing I want to keep. When I tell Riley that, she scoffs.

“I already knew that. I’m here for emotional support. And you are emotional, so it works out.”

“I’m not emotional.” I sniffle. “It’s harder to leave this time is all.”

“I told Sam his brother was an asshole. I was wrong about him.” Riley takes another big bite of pizza and chews it quickly, staring at the door as if Max will walk in. “Sam claims Max will sort things out, but I told him it’s too late. I told him he made a mess of everything.” She eyes me. “Right?”

“Can we not talk about this for a while?” I sigh. “I want you here to take my mind off of everything.”

“Okay, fine. Let’s talk about Milan. What’s new there, any cute guys?”

“Riley!”

“What? Oh, too soon? Sorry. I forgot you have a seven-year-long grieving process between your men.”

I glare at her. “Feeling snarky today?”

“Kind of. But you know I’m funny, so you’ll get over it.” She gives me a grin, and I can’t help but smile.

“It’s a little funny. If it weren’t so painful. Okay, how did we start talking about this again?”

“Sorry again, but for real this time.”

“You had one job.”

“Okay, tell me about your new job. We never really got a chance to talk while you were over there. What does your average day look like?”

I fill her in on all the details, and she beams at me. “You were made for this! It sounds like a lot of big names pass through there.”

“Oh yeah, it’s ridiculous.” I open my mouth when Riley offers me a bite of her cinnamon roll. “Anyway.” I shrug. “It’s decent. I know this sounds weird, but it feels like I got to the top, and I’m just looking around and wondering why I worked so hard to get there. It’s not the way I pictured it.”

“Are you kidding? You have a dream job! You’re just upset about this situation. It will get better, I promise. And if it doesn’t, you can find a man, because that will solve about half of your problems, and then be the cause of the other half.”

“Riley.” I close my closet and turn to face her.

“What’s up?”

“I can’t do it.” I burst into tears.

“What? Honey, don’t cry! I swear I’m going to kill Max! Come here.” She pulls me into her arms and sits with me on the bed.

I feel so foolish for crying over him, but the prospect of going back to Milan and pretending like everything is going to work out isn’t going to happen. If I thought I was miserable before, I know it’s not going to get better now.

“I’m going to try talking to him and tell him I love him and that I want to stay. Tell me that’s not pathetic.”

“It’s not pathetic. You’re being honest about your feelings, which is a lot more than he’s doing, dammit.”

“But what if he doesn’t feel the same way? You and Sam both tell me one thing, and then he acts like it’s another business agreement of his.”

“Because he’s an asshole. A lying asshole,” Riley corrects herself. “But he’s an asshole that you love, so I support you.”

“I guess this is a bad time.” A voice comes from the doorway.

“Sam!” Riley admonishes from my bed. “You said you weren’t coming!”

“My meeting got canceled. But I see I’m right on time for a Max-bashing.”

“You better believe it.” Riley crosses her arms.

“Hey, don’t get mad at me. I didn’t do anything,” Sam surrenders.

“You’re guilty by association,” Riley declares. “You better not try anything like this with me.”

“I won’t. You wouldn’t go for it anyway.” He looks at me. “No offense.”

“Damn straight.”

Sam moves towards a now prickly Riley to kiss the top of her head and give her a side hug. “So, what do you need help with?”

Riley gives him a cheesy smile. “Well, she’s not moving to Milan.”

Sam raises his eyebrows and looks at me. “You two worked it out? Wait, no. You were just calling him a lying asshole.”

“I’m going to tell him how I really feel. Right after I burn one last bridge before I chicken out.” Excusing myself, I take my phone into another room and leave the lead designer a detailed message. I tell her how much I appreciated every opportunity that came my way, but that I appreciated her support in the last couple weeks even more. She’d been so understanding of my family emergency. When we spoke soon after I got to New York, I’d hinted that I might not return to Milan, and she’d understood immediately.

“This job definitely has its advantages but it’s not for everyone. Whatever you decide, we’ll support you. The ball’s in your court.”

I hang up and look at the time. I have less than an hour before Max is supposed to be home. Yesterday, we decided it was a good idea to sit Bella down and talk to her together about what’s going on.

I think about what Max said about it last night. I’m not sure how much we’re going to tell her, but I think we can feel our way through, and see how much she can handle.

Hearing a commotion below, I can tell by Bella’s squeals that Max has made it home early. My heart skips a beat, and I feel nervous all over again like the first time I saw him in the office. I can do this. It feels strange to put myself in such a vulnerable position, even though he is technically my husband. My husband. I never want to stop saying those words. “Hey.” Riley backtracks in the hallway when she sees me off the phone. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I just left a message.” I clear my throat, not moving.

“You can do this,” Riley encourages me. Either she can read my mind, or she’s noticed how pale I am.

“Thanks. Can you guys watch Bella for a bit? I want to talk to him alone, and it can be hard to tear her away these days.”

“No problem.” Sam emerges behind Riley. “I got a game on my phone that holds her attention for at least thirty minutes.”

“Yeah.” Riley smirks. “It’s a princess game among all his professional apps. So sweet, but I love to tease him about it.”

Sam gives her a sidelong glance. “Laugh all you want, but I know the way to her heart.”

I follow them down as they argue. The two successfully rope Bella into sitting in the kitchen with them. “I’ll fix you a huge ice cream sundae,” Riley promises.

“That sounds amazing. I’d love one.” Sam licks his lips in an exaggerated fashion.

“Not for you.” Riley sniffs. “For her!”

“Yeah, but she’s not going to want it once she gets my phone, so you know who’s going to finish it.”

Max is sorting through the mail when I come down the last step. I drink in the sight of him. He looks up and gives me a broad smile. “Hey. I thought you’d be upstairs packing.”

Is he happy about me leaving? I waver slightly, but I hold firm to my earlier resolve. I have to do this, even if it means a huge rejection. There’s just no other way to find peace.

“Hey, can we talk?” My voice sounds huskier than I thought it would.

“Yeah, of course. Is this about Bella?” Max walks towards the garden. “Let’s go out here.”

“Okay,” I agree, wringing my hands as we go. “And no, it’s not abut Bella.” I pause at the bench where I usually sit at with Bella, but he continues on down the path. When he realizes I’ve stopped, he turns around. “Can we sit?”

He frowns. Maybe it wasn’t part of his plan, but I can see the change in his face when he relents. “Sure.”

“We can’t avoid talking about this.”

“I don’t want to.” He looks away from me. “Can we walk a little further down and sit there?”

“No.” I reach my hand out and touch his face, hoping he’ll understand me. “You control too much in our relationship. I’m not going to go along with it anymore. I want to talk right here. I’m not saying you can’t have your way…sometimes. Once in a while, we will go for a walk when I want to sit. What I’m saying is you can’t dictate everything that happens between us. It’s not equal, and it’s not fair. It’s going to make both of us unhappy in the long term.”

“Wait a second. I thought you were going back to Milan?”

“I called and said I couldn’t work for them anymore.”

“What?” I see the confusion and hope in his eyes. “Why?”

“Because of what I came down here to tell you.”

He holds up his hand.

“Can I say something first?”

“Okay fine, but…”

“Thank you.” He cuts me off and I cross my arms across my chest, feeling annoyed.

He takes my hands. I feel like something momentous is about to happen, but I have no idea what.

“Laura, from the first time you punched me in the face…”

I open my mouth in astonishment and wrench one of my hands away to smack him on the arm. His face bursts into a smile.

“Don’t interrupt me this time.” He lets go of one hand to shake a finger at me before taking my hand again. “From the first time we met, I’ve been fascinated by you.”

Fascinated. My heart beat faster. That sounded better than a contract by a long shot. But it wasn’t enough. I needed more.

“Yeah?”

“And after we slept together…” He stops. “I mean, after we made love, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”

“Really.” I use a skeptical tone, but my pulse is fluttering, and I don’t want to hope he’s going to say what I think he’s going to say.

He nods. “Really. I love how hard you work. How creative you are with your designs. The way you seem to make everything better. And the way you are with Bella is more important to me than I can say. She really has a mother now. I don’t want her to lose that.”

I frown. This isn’t going the way I had hoped. “You know what, Max? I have a lot of packing to do.” I stand up and start to walk away.

“I love you.” He’s speaking to my back, blurting out the words as if they are the hardest things he has ever had to say.

I turn slowly and study him, not knowing what to think.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Does that mean that you don’t love me back?” His eyes are bright, but it can’t be from tears, can it? It must be just a trick of the light. “I love you so much, Laura. I was a mess when you were away. I need you. I need everything about you. Your brains. Your hot body. The way you take care of my motherless child. The way you take care of me.”

His voice breaks, and he stands up.

“I’m going to be down at the gazebo, if you want to talk to me. If you don’t come, I’ll understand.”

As I watch his muscular back disappear down the path, I’m torn. Could he really mean it? Could he really love me? I thought back to all the things Riley and Sam had pointed out that showed that he cared. Could it be he didn’t know how to tell me all this time?

I came down here to tell him I love him, and I’m going to do it.

When I get to the end of the path, my mouth drops open.

Inside, it’s lined with gold and lavender roses. Tables are being arranged with similar centerpieces, and at least twenty workers are arranging a stage and other decorations.

“What’s all this?” I’m astonished.

“The wedding we never had. I know every time I open my mouth, I screw everything up. I thought if anything would get your attention and show you how I feel, it’s this. I love you so much. There’s no way in hell I’d let you go back until you knew exactly how I felt. If you decide you don’t want to be with me, I’ll concede. Maybe.”

“Max.” I’m flabbergasted. And angry. He’s doing it again. He’s set up a wedding without even asking me first. I can’t believe the nerve.

“So?” He steps down from the gazebo and looks into my eyes. “Will you marry me? Here? Tonight? For real?”

My answer is immediate and unequivocal. “Hell no.”

“What?” His startled face would be funny if the situation wasn’t so infuriating.

“I love you, Max.” He starts to beam but the smile falls as I keep speaking. “But you have to understand something. If our relationship is going to work, we have to be equal partners. I won’t be some woman who says ‘Yes, husband.’ and agrees every time you decide something for us. No way. What century are you living in? You’re so used to being able to pay for everything to go your way, you don’t realize it’s not normal. Normal people co-operate and compromise.”

“I thought we were a team. A good team.”

“Not that team thing again.” I shake my head. “Look, I love you, but unless you can figure out I’m not a doll for you to position as you want, in a career, in your household, in a wedding, then we’re not right for each other.”

“What? Laura, no. Please don’t leave again." There's anguish in his voice and it tears at my heart. "What about us? We love each other.”

“I’m not leaving. I won’t do that to Bella. But we’re not talking. We’re not fucking. And there is no us until you get yourself sorted out.”

I turn and stalk away, wondering if I’ve just made the biggest mistake of my life.