After a drive back to the airport, a long flight and an Uber, we finally make it back to Melissa’s apartment.

“You want a coffee or something before you go back?” Melissa offers. “I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted.”

“A coffee sounds good.”

I follow Melissa into her building and up the stairs to her flat. Each step is heavy. Every muscle is exhausted from traveling and sitting in tight, uncomfortable seats with no legroom. As soon as I’ve said a proper goodbye to Melissa, I’m going back to my own place and sleeping for a week.

Between us, we lug our cases up the multiple flights, then finally arrive at Melissa’s front door. Once we’re there, she pauses a moment before opening it. She turns to me, lays both her palms on my chest and rests her forehead against me. Her long hair spills down in a wave that hides her face, but I feel her shoulders heaving with a sigh.

Finally, she looks up with an expression that’s bittersweet.

“I’ve loved these last ten days,” she tells me. “Even though it was awkward and uncomfortable—I loved it. Spending time with you this Christmas has been more than I could have wished for. I’m sorry it has to end.”

I pull her into my arms and kiss her forehead. “Nothing’s ending. The holidays may be over, but we’re still us, and we have a year and a half of our MBAs left. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

She smiles, then opens the door. When she pushes it in, both our smiles drop off our faces.

The place is trashed. I step in and look around, unable to keep the horror off my face. The carpets have multiple burn marks and ash stains. The coffee table is overturned, the floor covered in empty junk food wrappers, bottles, and cans. The TV is broken, with a spiderweb splinter across its screen.

Stepping through the living room and into the adjoining open-plan kitchen, I see the damage isn’t limited to one part of the flat. Every cupboard door is open wide like someone has been searching through them. The drawers, oven door, and bread bin are thrown open, too. The floor is covered with piles of cutlery, tea towels, and a few broken glasses.

The bathroom looks like a crime scene. There are watered-down bloodstains on the ceramics in the bath and sink. Towels with pink marks on them lie in wet piles on the floor. There are syringes in the basin.

Melissa finishes inspecting the damage in the living room and appears behind me. Her hands fly to her mouth when she sees the state of the bathroom, and tears fill her eyes.

“What the fuck happened here?” I breathe.

I pull her to me, and she cries in my arms; Melissa, who is endlessly strong and endlessly brave has broken down at last. Her whole body shakes with sobs. Eventually, she looks up and around again. Her hands claw through her hair, and she bites down on her lip.

“I’ll never be able to afford to repair all this. We’re going to get evicted.” I hear the panic in her voice. “I’ll end up losing my place at Harvard. I’ll lose everything.”

I pull her back into my arms and stroke her hair. “No. That’s not going to happen. We’ll get this cleaned up. It looks worse than it is.”

Melissa slumps in defeat, and she gestures around helplessly. “He’s wrecked the place. There are needles in the sink. God knows what kind of things he’s been up to in here while I’ve been away. For all I know, he’s in a jail cell right now.”

Probably the best place for him. “I’m sure he’s fine.”

“I knew I never should have left.”

I take Melissa firmly by her shoulders. “You can’t keep blaming yourself for every mistake he makes. Connor’s a grown man, and responsible for his own actions.”

“He’s only nineteen.”

“So he doesn’t know right from wrong? Melissa, he’s old enough and wise enough to know better than to trash his own home and bite the hand that feeds him. This—” I gesture around, “—is not acceptable.”

Melissa goes slowly back into the living room and sinks down onto the sofa. She takes a heavy breath and lets it out slowly. “I know.”

“You can’t keep letting him treat you—and your home—like this.”

“I know.”

“He’ll single-handedly destroy everything you’ve worked for.”

Melissa bows down and buries her face in her hands. When she looks up, her face is tear-streaked, and her voice trembles. “What am I supposed to do? Without me, he’d be on the streets.”

“If he keeps acting out like this, he’ll drag you down with him.” I kneel in front of Melissa and stroke her knee comfortingly. “I know how loyal you are. You want to do everything in your power to save him, but, even if you give everything to him, it’ll do nothing at all if he doesn’t want to change.”

“He’s grieving.”

“So are you.”

Melissa blinks and tears roll down her cheeks. She shakes her head slowly. “I promised my mom I’d always look after him.”

I hold back my anger at Connor for making her feel like this and focus on comforting Melissa. “And who’s meant to look after you? I never knew your mom, but bet she loved you and Connor equally, and she probably wouldn’t want to see you hurting, either.”

“If I give up on him, he’ll have nobody else to turn to.”

“I know you’d never give up on him, and I’d never suggest you should. But maybe he should move out, at least.”

“Where would he go?”

I falter. I have no idea. “A shelter.”

“A shelter?” Melissa’s voice is thick with horror. “I can’t do that to my own brother!”

“Look what he’s doing to you!”

“He doesn’t know any better!”

I lower my voice so it’s gentler. I meet Melissa’s eyes with a soft, understanding gaze. “Of course, he knows. Or if he doesn’t, it’s time he learned that what he’s doing is not okay.”

“You think I’m naïve.” Lissy says the words with sadness and self-contempt.

“I think you’re many things—loyal, devoted, compassionate, brave, strong. But when it comes to Connor, there are things you refuse to see.” I bow my own head, shaking it sadly. “I only want to protect you.”

Her hand closes over mine. “I know. But it’s not that easy.”

“I know.”

I don’t want to push Melissa too far, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings, so I say no more. Instead, I stand up, look around, and roll up my sleeves. “Have you got any trash bags?”

“There’s a roll under the sink.”

I retrieve the bags, tear one off, and immediately start picking up the rubbish from around the flat. Melissa takes another moment to gather herself, then slowly rises to her feet as well, and picks up a vacuum.

We’re both exhausted from traveling, but I can’t let Melissa spend the night in a trashed flat, and I can’t let her face all this chaos alone.

Between us, we pick up all the garbage, clear the mess off the floor, sweep up all the broken glassware, tidy the kitchen, and bleach the bathroom.

By the time we’re done, it doesn’t look so bad. There are a few repairs left to be done, like finding a way to patch up the burns in the carpet and replacing the TV, but enough has been done. If the landlord stopped by, they probably wouldn’t slam down an eviction notice.

Melissa sinks back down onto the sofa when we’re done and offers me a weak but grateful smile. “Thanks for helping. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I couldn’t let you do it on your own. Besides, I don’t like the idea of you being here alone when Connor comes back.”

“He would never hurt me.”

“People do all kinds of things when they’re under the influence.”

“Connor’s not like that.”

“Really? Because there was an awful lot of blood in the bathroom, and those needles make me think he’s doing something a lot harder than pot.”

As I say it, Melissa wriggles in her seat and reaches under her to pull out a little plastic baggy that’s filled with small, white pills. She tosses it away like it’s about to bite her. Her eyes fill with tears again. “I don’t even know what those are.”

I pick them up and examine them closely. “Could be Molly. Some kind of party drug. Opiates, maybe?”

“God knows.”

I shake my head slowly. “I know Connor’s your brother, but I could kill him for what he’s putting you through. Every time you cover for him when he pulls shit like this, you risk your own livelihood—and you’ve earned everything you have.”

Melissa holds up her hand softly. “Please, Henry, I really don’t need a lecture right now.”

“Something’s got to give, Lissy.”

“You think I should make him move out?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think, but, yes. I want you to be safe. I want you to have the peace and security you need to follow your own dreams. Connor’s the only thing holding you back from achieving truly great things.”

She looks across at the broken TV with a distant gaze. “It’s not just about me, though, is it?”

“It also can’t be all about him. You can support him from a distance.”

“When he’s in a shelter, you mean?”

I take her hands in mine. “There are no easy options. I know that. But you’ll be in a better position to help him down the line if you set the foundations for your own life now. He needs a wake-up call, even if it seems harsh and disloyal. It’s not. Not if it makes him realize he’s headed down the wrong path.

“You know I’ll help you find another place for him to go. There must be programs, charities, networks. I don’t know. There have to be better options than this. He’s into some illegal stuff, Lissy, and you don’t want to get caught up in the middle of it. Connor’s hanging around some dangerous people these days, and I don’t want them to hurt you.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Melissa looks down at the coffee table and holds her hands up in her hair. “Maybe you and Lucy are both right. Maybe I’m doing more harm than good for the both of us, trying to handle him all on my own.”

Fresh tears fill her eyes. “I’m exhausted all the time. I’m scared when I hear him come in. I never know what chaos I’m going to walk into. I’m finding it hard to stay focused on my studies. I feel like I’m losing control.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way.”

“I can’t bear the thought of letting him down.”

“I know. I understand.”

Melissa looks at me desperately. “I don’t think I can keep doing this, Henry. Maybe I should tell Connor to move out—but there’s no way he’d listen to me.”

“I’ll be here with you.”