Chloe ushers me into her apartment, then throws her arms around me, swaying from foot to foot in a giant hug. “At last!” she squeals. “I’ve been dying to catch up with you for too long. You didn’t come to class yesterday.”

“Too much has happened. I needed to let it sink in.”

“Well, you’re here now. Tell me everything.”

Chloe pours me an iced tea, and we sit together in her minimalistic apartment. It’s very feng shui. All her furniture faces the window, and she has a collection of mini bonsais on the sill. It smells of woody incense.

She sits cross-legged on the futon. I sit with one leg tucked under the other. She widens her eyes expectantly. “Well?”

“You’re not going to believe everything that’s gone on.”

I finish telling Chloe the whole story, and she lets out a low whistle. “Wow.”

“Tell me about it. On the one hand, Ethan’s declared his love for me and wants me to move to New York. On the other hand, I’ve got Vincent, who says he doesn’t want things to end when he goes back to the city. I don’t know what to do.”

“Which one are you going to pick?”

“Who says I’m going to pick either of them?”

“Let’s recap, Lily. We have Ethan Steele, whom you’ve been in love with for as long as I’ve known you, who wants to set you up in his penthouse and give you your own studio, and whisk you off to a happily ever after with him. Then, you’ve got Vincent Oswald, equally attractive and rich, who also wants you. And you’re saying you don’t know if you want either of them? You’re going to have to talk me through your train of thought there, honey.”

“Ethan was my childhood sweetheart, and, Chloe, of course, I still love him. Every time I see him I go weak in the knees. I’ve spent years dreaming of hearing everything he said to me—that he made a mistake, he loves me, he wants us to be together.”

“But?”

“But he’s changed a lot since we were young. He says he loves me, but how do I know if it’s true?”

“Why would he come all the way to Payson and wait outside your apartment to win you back if he didn’t care, Lily? He must still have feelings for you.”

“Maybe I could believe that if he didn’t have this weird thing with Vincent.”

“The rivalry.”

“Exactly. It makes me doubt that he’s sincere. I want to believe him, but then I think about how he came back, fucked me, and vanished. I think there’s something off.”

“Just because he did something stupid doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. Men do stupid things all the time based on some crazy logic we’ll never understand. They like to think they’re big boys, but a lot of the time, they don’t have a clue what they’re doing. Even the ones with lots of money and fancy suits. Underneath, they’re only people—and people make mistakes.”

“I know. I guess I don’t want to get hurt by him again. Ethan Steele isn’t an easy man to get over.”

“Well, how did you feel when he was saying he loved you? Did it feel real?”

“Of course, it did. But it felt real when he showed up a couple of weeks ago. It felt real when he said he loved me eleven years ago. With Ethan, it always feels real. I can’t switch off how real it feels.”

“Do you believe him?”

“I believe he thinks he loves me.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means that I think Ethan has this picture in his head of me moving to New York and everything being like it used to be, and I know it won’t be. We’re hardly going to go skinny-dipping and running through the woods together again, are we?”

“That’s not because he’s a billionaire or because he’s moved to New York, Lily. That’s because you’ve both grown up. I don’t think anyone gets to our age and still lives life like that. I wish we all did, but life catches up with you. You’re both older now—things are never going to be exactly like they were.”

“I know.”

“And what about Vincent?”

I let out a long breath and shake my head helplessly. “I like him.”

“Just ‘like’?”

“I’ve hardly known him long enough for it to be love, but there’s something there.”

“What do you like about him?”

I shut my eyes and picture Vincent’s playful smile, and the serious look that comes over his face when he’s talking about music or art, the one that captivates me every time. “He can be really fun. He makes an effort. I don’t know. I guess he makes me feel special. And he’s smart, too. Really smart. He knows all about art and music. He’s traveled the world. When he talks, I want to listen. He’s got this allure.”

“How do you think he feels about you?”

I wrap my arms around myself and curl up tighter on the futon, rolling my head back and staring at the ceiling. “He says I’m not like the other girls he’s been with.”

Chloe scoffs. “That’s what they all say. What did you make of it?”

“I wonder if he isn’t another Ethan, though. He’s going back to New York. I don’t want to be holding out for him like I was holding out for Ethan, hanging onto someone who’s never coming back.”

“You haven’t given him a chance to prove himself to you yet. You’re judging him based on what Ethan’s done. Vincent’s not Ethan.”

“Ethan said Vincent’s dangerous, though. He thinks he’s only dating me to get to him.”

“And how is that supposed to work?”

“I don’t know. It seems stupid to me.”

“Maybe Ethan’s jealous.”

“Maybe, but Ethan was never manipulative like that. He was always very honest and loyal. I can’t imagine him badmouthing someone else simply to get his way.”

“So, you think Vincent is up to something?”

“I didn’t say that.”

Chloe lets out a long breath, putting her head in her hand. “You’re making my head spin, Lily.”

“Tell me about it. I wish there was a way to know which one of them was telling the truth.”

“The truth is always a gray area, Lily. They probably both remember things their own way. They don’t like each other, that’s it. It doesn’t mean either of them is a bad person or is going to treat you badly. They’re business rivals. Of course, they’re not going to sing each other’s praises. All that matters is what you feel.”

Tears begin to sting my eyes. “I want Ethan. I’ve always wanted him. But I don’t know how we can make it work. So much has happened and changed. We’ve been heading in different directions for such a long time. And I’m still angry at him.”

Chloe lays a hand gently on my back. “It all comes down to whether you want to give him one last chance.”

“There’s no such thing with Ethan. One last chance leads to another and another. He wants me to go to New York, but that means I’m the one who takes a risk. It’s been hard to get here, Chloe. My tiny little apartment, the low-paying commissions. They look like nothing to Ethan, but it’s taken me years to build this life. He just wants me to give it all up and follow him blindly. Part of me wants to, but the other part of me feels like it’s his turn to drop everything.”

“I guess he can’t do that, though. He’s the man at the top.”

“I don’t think he’d have time for me in his world.”

“Do you think Vincent would be any different?”

“Things are different with Vincent. We’re at the beginning of something. We’re not trying to get back to an old ideal. It’s building something new. Besides, Vincent doesn’t tie himself to work like Ethan does. He travels. He explores. He’s still got some life in him.”

“It sounds to me like you already know what you want.”

I shut my eyes and take a deep breath. “It’s time for a fresh start. I’m going to see how things go with Vincent.”