CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
Liane
I will forever remember Australia. I believed that my heaven had come early. During the days, Hawk and I drove all over exploring. I knew we weren’t prepared to go to the more remote, dangerous portions of the inner continent, so I contented myself by visiting the zoos and some of the natural parks. We hiked steep trails and I marveled as each turn revealed something new to me, unknown creatures and flora. I had to exercise some caution, however, as there was poisonous life here that was unfamiliar to me.
We swam in the ocean although there were sharks so we didn’t go out far. I knew they could attack even in the shallows, but we hired some guides who took us snorkeling. At night, we dined on the beach or in a club. Sometimes when we were exhausted from our daytime adventures, we simply soaked in one of the huge whirlpool tubs, rubbing bubbles over each other, then slowly wiping them clear. This always led to lovemaking, and we didn’t discriminate with location. Hawk crept up behind me often, lifting me into his arms and placing me in yet another unique position.
We made love on the balcony beneath the moon, on the back lawn and on the edge of the swimming pool. We spent a particularly interesting evening in the home gymnasium. Hawk had made a game of counting how many positions he could achieve when we were draped over one type of equipment or another. A couple of nights we adjourned to the home theatre and made love on the white leather seats while a sexily salacious movie played in the background. We called it “making love in the round.”
When we boarded the jet to go home, we were replete after our six weeks of bliss. As we neared the U.S. we both began to stiffen, dreading the homecoming. It was likely to be warm and effusive from my dad, but cold and hurtful from Worth and probably Auggie. I don’t know whether she planned to tell Worth, but somehow, eventually, he would find out. The hurt would come then, and the only thing that remained to be seen was whether revenge would be involved.
We arrived home, exhausted but so terribly in love with one another. We barely did anything but make love and sleep. I’d even lost my appetite, and Hawk noticed this one day. “You’re growing awfully thin, my girl,” he said, pinching the fabric away from my body.
“I’m just not hungry. In fact, my stomach has been bothering me. I was sick yesterday morning.”
We looked at one another, and realization dawned. I raced to a drugstore for a home test kit and sure enough — we were pregnant! I immediately made a doctor’s appointment, and he confirmed it. “Did you miss your period?” Hawk asked, still attempting to understand how I’d gotten pregnant. I’d started the pill a few months ago.
“I’ve always been very irregular. I’m embarrassed to say that since we’ve been making love so much, I thought maybe I was, well… you know… kind of ‘worn out?’”
He grinned. “You silly goose. Well, this changes things completely.”
“How do you mean?”
“I’ve been giving this thought since we came back from Australia. This house is under tight security due to my business, but it’s not the sort of place for a baby to be raised. Why don’t we make this an office and build a new home on the rise? The property Mom gave us?”
“I think that’s a marvelous idea!” The idea of living in Hawk’s military compound had never thrilled me and to have a house that we created together seemed like a dream come true. “Do you think we could be in before the baby comes?”
“We can try. I’ll get Mom’s architect on it. I remember she always works best when she’s well paid. I’ll see to it.”
In the meantime, our life settled into a rhythm. I visited with Dad often, and he was completely elated at the news. I knew he was lonely, and the idea of having a grandchild around for him to bounce on his knee was something that would bring him a great deal of delight. I ached to tell Auggie and Worth; it would be their first grandchild after all. I knew it wasn’t my job to share the news, however. I left it to Hawk, and he seemed in no great hurry.
Hawk introduced me to Beverly Dexter, the architect. Just as he had promised, money talked, and she grew quite excited at the idea of building a home on the high point of the county. She had multiple views to work with and acres and acres of untouched ground. She drew up some preliminary plans for a very modern, almost futuristic design and we heartily approved them. We had loved the clean, open lines of buildings we’d seen in Australia. The design incorporated not only windows in every direction, but inside there were plans for an arboretum, huge tanks for saltwater fish built into the walls and naturally, stables and outbuildings for a variety of animals. Hawk agreed to let me begin raising a few exotic animals which would require some diversity of terrain and housing. I threw myself into research for what I’d need and gave all that information to Beverly. We agreed that the house would come first, and after the baby was born, we could work on the outbuildings. She was sworn to secrecy and professional enough to recognize where her company’s interest lay.
I stopped to see Auggie from time to time, but I avoided Worth. There was something brooding deep inside him. I suspected it had much to do with Hawk. The two of them still hadn’t reconciled. If anything, Hawk held him more and more responsible for his feeling of alienation. It had magnified after the incident on our wedding night when he realized how close he’d come to throwing everything we had away. The memory terrified him. I believe he almost felt as though Worth would hex us.
One night it came to a head. Hawk and I stopped by to bring Auggie some pictures from our trip to Australia. We had all decided not to mention anything to Worth. We were in their family room, the photos splayed out across the coffee table. I was quite animated, telling her about the manor house where we’d stayed and showing her some of the gardens and zoos we had visited. We showed her a picture of us scuba diving and were laughing about my reaction to seeing a shadow I thought was a shark. That’s when Worth walked in.
Auggie’s laughter fell silent, and Hawk’s face turned dark. Worth stepped into the room, and he came over to the coffee table to see what we were laughing at.
“That looks like Australia,” he commented.
Hawk took it on the chin. “It is.”
“I didn’t know you were in Australia. Did you, Auggie?”
Her chin lifted. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I did.”
We all turned as Mark walked in. He stopped just inside the doorway, looking confused. Hi, what’s going on?” he asked in a tone that was artificially light.
“That’s what we’re about to find out,” muttered Worth, turning to sit down in a club chair. “It seems your brother has been on a fairly nice vacation from the looks of it.” He looked pointedly at our hands. “Any reason for that, Hawk?”
“Liane and I were married in May. You may as well know now. That was our honeymoon.” Hawks’ voice was not defensive — it was simply a statement. The tension was tremendous in the room. “There’s more,” he continued. “You’re both about to become grandparents.”
“Oh!” Auggie squealed and leapt up to hug me. Worth didn’t move an inch.
“Auggie, you knew about this?” Worth asked, his voice deadly quiet.
“Well, not about the baby, but I knew they were married,” she admitted, still holding my hands.
“Did you go to the wedding?”
Auggie hesitated and only I knew why. “We weren’t invited,” she said finally, and I felt terrible for her. She couldn’t win.
“We weren’t invited to our son’s wedding?” he repeated, each word a staccato.
Auggie fell silent. She had asked not to be put in the middle of this and yet that’s where she was.
I felt I was the only one who could rationally put this into words. “It was partially my decision.”
“No, Liane, don’t,” Hawk spoke up. “It didn’t have anything to do with her. It was my decision. You and I have not and will never see eye to eye. The tension in the room at this very moment is proof of that. I felt if you and Mom came to the wedding, there would be some discomfort. I didn’t want that for Liane’s wedding day. It was extremely small. Liane’s father performed the ceremony, and we each had one witness. That was it. You can’t get much smaller than that. We left immediately after for Australia.”
“Paybacks, eh, Hawk?” Worth spat.
“Worth, don’t!” Auggie was getting upset, and Mark came up to stand behind her, his hand on her shoulder in support.
“Well, who in the hell gets married and doesn’t want their parents there?” He was getting increasingly angry.
“I did,” Hawk said in a firm voice, “and I would do it again. After all, I didn’t think you’d mind. You missed my sixteenth birthday, my eighteen. I don’t remember you being there when I turned twenty or twenty-one. Oh, college graduation? Nope, not there either. What was one more event in my life where you didn’t show up?”
Mark spoke up. “Well, I think it was a rotten thing to do. You’re so incredibly selfish! You haven’t gotten anything you didn’t deserve. You come back here like some sort of prodigal son and expect everyone to tiptoe around your feelings. You have Mom feeling so guilty that she’s been dealing with horrible depression over all this. You weren’t there for Grandpa when he died because you couldn’t be bothered. You’re an ass, Hawk or Ford or whatever the hell your name is. As for me, I’m sick of the whole mess. Go back where you came from!”
Auggie’s mouth was hanging open. I could tell she’d never heard anything remotely like that from her youngest son. He was such a kind and respectful young man. My heart broke for her but knew enough to stay out of it. The atmosphere was charged with energy and it actually felt painful to me.
Worth didn’t let it rest, though. “Mark! That’s enough! Apologize this moment!”
“No, no, I won’t!” Mark yelled then turned on his father. “This is actually your fault, you know. I’ve heard the stories, don’t think I haven’t. You were wild. Too wild for your own good. You’ve been in trouble with all kinds of people. You alienated him,” he pointed to Hawk, “just because you were too busy to be a good parent. Well, look what you’ve earned. He’s just like you, damn you! Distant, self-absorbed, calculating. He hates me. Look at the way he’s glaring at me! Did you once bring your children together and have any sort of family talk? Did you once ask any of us how we felt about this whole mess?” Mark was literally spitting with anger.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Marga sneak in, probably hoping to go unseen to her room. She paused and straightened, then came to stand in the doorway. She didn’t look happy about what she was hearing, particularly that Mark was so upset. Auggie was crying by this time, which fueled Mark all the more. Marga’s face was flushed, and I knew she wanted to put in her two cents’ worth, but all her privileges lay with Worth’s permission. She was just like him. She wouldn’t risk losing anything she wanted by sticking up for someone.
Mark wasn’t done. “I can’t believe you even love Mom,” he threw at Worth. “You’ve put her through hell and knew you were doing it! You see this farm? You know what this is? This is my inheritance, Dad. Keep it! I don’t want anything from you because everything you’ve touched was for yourself. This farm was Mom’s attempt to have a family home. You can give all your money to the people who are just like you. Him!” Mark finished, pointing at Hawk once again.
“I don’t want his damned money, you little shit! You think that means anything to me?” Hawk was on his feet, screaming. “I only wanted what you had. A family. And you, damn you, you can’t even be that for me, can you? You think it might cost you something? A little bit of your mealy mouth reputation? You think you’re better than me!”
“To hell with you!” Mark shouted, his young man’s voice crackling with the effort. “To hell with the both of you!” He stormed from the room, and the front door slammed.
“Ohhhhhh, boy,” Marga cooed and started up the stairs. “Tell me if the house catches fire from all that hot air,” she called over her shoulder as she went.
Auggie was visibly shaking and crying. Hawk’s face was flushed and very angry. Worth sat stunned except for the muscle jerking in his cheek.
“Excuse me, but I need some air.” I stood up and made it to the porch before I heaved the contents of my stomach all over a bush. Hawk was right behind me.
“C’mon, Liane. Let’s get you home.”
“Thank you,” was all I could muster and although the drive was short, I had the window down the whole time.
Once I’d settled my stomach with some saltines, I found Hawk on the patio. He was still steaming. I sat down next to him and waited for him to talk. I had another life to worry about now, and I was trying very hard not to pick up Hawk’s extreme anger.
“Can you believe that?” he began the rant.
I just sort of shrugged and nodded. I was trying to subdue him.
“That little shit telling me off like that? I hate the little sonofabitch. Spoiled brat. He thinks he has the world eating out of his pale little hands. Jesus Christ! Where does he get off talking to me like that?”
I let a few moments pass. “I felt sorry for Auggie, to tell you the truth. She didn’t ask for any of this, you know. She’s been through a lot and not been the cause of any of it.”
That brought out Hawk’s protective mode. I wondered that he and Mark couldn’t at least agree on the simple concept of keeping their mother out of things. Did they need her as an audience to their rebellion?
“Ewwww… that Marga. She’s a cool one,” I added, hoping to draw Hawk away from Mark. Mark was just becoming a man. I knew that if things didn’t settle, it could become physical. Once it did, it was very difficult to back off.
“Aw, she’s a spoiled bitch too. Both of them. That’s what he is, nothing but a whiny little bitch. They have no idea what I went through. They’ve had everything handed to them on a silver platter. ‘Here’s a horsie, here’s a brand new car, do you have a big enough wardrobe?’” he mocked his parents’ indulgence of the twins. “While their asses were riding around on a yacht, I was getting slashed by a gang!”
“Hawk, please, none of that was their fault. If circumstances had been different, you would have been offered the exact same thing.” I sighed, holding my stomach again. “Can we talk about this tomorrow? I really need a lie down. All that energy…” I pleaded with him.
His face immediately changed. “Liane, I’m sorry. Of course. I forget how sensitive you are to all this. I’ve lived with shit all my life. I guess I’m used to it. Here. Let me take you in and get you settled. Then I’ll make you a cup of mint tea. I think that’s good for your tummy, isn’t it?”
I nodded and sighed, glad that the storm was over. At least for the moment.