CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT
Xavier
Riley slept on her side, the sheet half-covering her nude body. Her shoulders rose and fell as she took in slow, languid breaths. Reaching over, I pulled the sheet up and tucked it under her chin. She didn’t move. She was lost in her slumber, adrift in a world of dreams. I hoped they were good ones, and I hoped at least one of them was about me.
With her taken care of, I sat up on my side of the bed and stared at one of the slats in the half-closed blinds. How did everything change so quickly? A few months before I was going about business as usual, clocking in sixty to seventy hours a week and enjoying a fling here and there, always with whoever the girl of the moment was. And now everything was different. The list was gone and my habit of fighting in the club’s alley as good as dead. Those things had been replaced with something better. Now, I cared about a woman for the first real time in my life. She was mine. It was my job to protect her and keep her happy.
Three months before, that thought would have terrified me. Today it thrilled me. Doing things right with Riley was a challenge to be met. I was excited to prove my capability. I was also scared, but Rochelle’s words rang in my head.
Just because your parents did things one way doesn’t mean you’re doomed to do the same.
She was right. And I just had to keep reminding myself of that. With Riley’s sunny presence, it shouldn’t be too hard.
Thinking about my parents made me remember that I hadn’t talked to my mother in weeks. The last time, like all the others, didn’t go very well. It was probably time I tried again… even if I didn’t want to.
Rolling out of bed, I grabbed some boxers and tugged them on. I snatched my phone from where it was plugged up to charge and crept into the living room. Settling down on the couch, I started to dial my mother’s number — and stopped.
Why was I doing this? Really? Why did I call her up once a month and try to convince her to leave my father? That tactic hadn’t work the last fifty times I tried it. Did I really think that this time would be any different?
I shut my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. What I’d been doing was living the definition of insanity. I’d been performing the same action over and over under the belief that I’d get a different result. Of course, I never did. My mother wasn’t going to change.
Because I haven’t changed.
It was a realization that rocketed through me. I opened my eyes back up and shook my head in amazement. It was so obvious… what I needed to do so clear.
I couldn’t keep pushing my mother, always telling her what to do. Who liked that, anyway? Of course she pushed back. I would too if I were her. But what if I tried a different tactic? What if I tried to be more understanding?
Suppose I called her just to talk and not to make demands or suggestions. What would happen? The answer was that I couldn’t even imagine how the conversation would go. Which meant it was worth trying.
I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t know what to say, but I dialed her number. She picked up on the second ring.
“Hey, you.”
“Hey, Mom. How are you doing?”
“I’m good, babe. Just wondering when you’re coming to see me. Are you going to do that sometime soon?”
It was something she mentioned a lot. I hadn’t been home in years, and for an obvious reason. I had no interest whatsoever in seeing my father.
I could almost hear her bracing, waiting for my inevitable no. When I opened my mouth, though, I remembered my promise to myself before I dialed her number.
“That sounds nice, Mom. Maybe I can come next month.”
There was a brief pause. “Oh, Xavier, that would be nice.”
The pleasure spilled from her voice, making me smile in response. “I’ll get a hotel in the city… because I might be bringing someone with me.”
“A girl?” she excitedly asked.
“Yeah, a girl.”
“Xavier Fields, get out of town. You do not have a girl. You’ve never once told me about a girl in your life.”
I grinned into the phone. “It’s a pretty recent thing.”
“Is she pretty?”
“She’s gorgeous,” I said instantly. “And sweet too. She has a really big heart.”
“That’s good, honey. I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks, Mom. Maybe...” I swallowed and deliberated how best to present my question. Finally, I just went for it. “Maybe after we visit you, you can come here for a bit. Riley and I can show you around the city.”
“Well, now, I think I could do that.”
My chest swelled with appreciation. We were having the best conversation we’d had in years. There was one more thing I needed to say before hanging up though. If I didn’t, I would regret it.
“I love you, Mom.”
I could hear her bracelets clinking together as she moved her hand. A slight sniffle permeated the line. “I love you too, Xavier.”
My throat became tight. “I’ll talk to you soon so we can make plans.”
“All right, hon. I’m looking forward to it.”
I hung up and smiled to myself. I hadn’t even had a plan going into the conversation, but I’d had a commitment. And that was to be considerate and not push my opinion. Not once had I mentioned my father.
I was excited to see her, I realized. Going back to the trailer park I grew up in would be hard. At least staying in a hotel would buffer the experience. I still wasn’t sure about bringing Riley with me. My past was an ugly one, and she was too good to be exposed to it. Not all at one time, anyway. I’d still shared very little with her about my years growing up. Getting to the place where I could give her a large amount of information would take some time.
My phone interrupted my thoughts. I noted my mother’s name on the screen and snatched it up. “Mom?”
“Xavier, I… I was just thinking. After we hung up… I would like to come and see you in New York and stay for a while, I mean.” She exhaled, causing the line to crackle with the force of her breath. “I’m saying let’s just see. I’d like to take a look at that apartment you have there for me. It sounds awful nice.”
Tears filled my eyes. I could barely speak, let alone breathe. Somehow, I got the words moving. “It is. It’s really nice.”
“That’s good. Well, how about tomorrow?”
I blinked, unable to believe the words I was hearing. “Tomorrow?”
“I understand if you have things. I know you’re working all the time—”
I cut her off. “Come tomorrow. I’m sending the jet. And I’ll send a car to pick you up too. What time is good?”
“I-I reckon about noon.”
I blinked hard to keep the tears at bay. “Great. I can’t wait to see you, Mom.”
“You too, baby.”
I hung up the phone and placed it on the coffee table. The darkness of the living room stretched around me, but instead of it seeming scary and oppressive, it was magnificent and expansive. Something wild and unpredictable had just happened. Because of one simple decision to be accepting, a relationship had begun to heal. I did something I never thought I could do.
And the result was miraculous.
“Hey.”
I turned to see Riley leaning against the doorframe. She wore one of my oversized shirts, the hem almost coming to her knees. She rubbed her eyes and looked at me. “You’re up late.”
“I was talking to my mother.”
Riley straightened. “Oh. That’s nice.”
I stood and reached my arm out to her. “Yeah, it was.”
Riley came right into my arms, nestling herself into the place she fit so perfectly. “She’s coming to New York,” I told her. “Tomorrow.”
Riley tilted her face up. Thanks to the curtains open behind us, I could make out her smile. “Really? That’s so cool.”
I nodded and swallowed hard. “I haven’t seen her in years.”
“Are you serious? Wow…” Her smile stretched wider. “I bet you’re excited.”
“I am. And I’m excited for her to meet you.”
Riley’s smile softened and her eyes danced. “How did I end up here?”
“I should be asking that question.”
She ducked her head, looking sheepish. I hooked my finger under her chin and lifted her face so that our eyes could connect. The city lights coming through the window washed over her face, lighting up the best thing in my life. The best thing that had ever happened to me.
“You’re not going anywhere, are you?” I asked.
Riley pursed her lips in pleasure. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Good.” Pulling her closer to me, I pressed my mouth against hers. With her kiss, I tasted vanilla, cinnamon, and lust. I tasted love. I tasted new beginnings. I tasted the unlimited possibilities her love had opened up for me.