CHAPTER THIRTY SIX
Xavier
Julian’s forehead furrowed as he stepped into Enigma’s office and noticed Riley sitting in a chair. His eyes slid toward me. “What’s going on?” He looked tired, like he hadn’t slept all night. He also hadn’t shaved. And did he smell like perfume? Some floral shit, and vanilla?
“Come on in,” I told him, waving a hand toward the sofa. “I’ll explain everything once Davis arrives.”
To my relief, Julian stepped over to a nervous looking Riley and stuck out his hand. “It’s good to see you again. Under better circumstances this time.”
Riley blinked and pressed her palm against his. “You too. And thank you again for your help in getting me off the boat. It was stupid of me to poke a sleeping bear like that.”
Julian chuckled. “Stupid and brave are too closely connected sometimes to know which is which. You did what you thought you needed to do. I can’t say I would have done anything different. If I were you, I’d—”
“Hey now,” I interrupted. “Don’t be giving her any ideas.”
The two were still chatting when the door opened and Davis stepped inside. With a similar reaction as Julian, Davis frowned but looked more curious than angry as he exchanged a few pleasantries with Riley.
“So, what’s up?” Davis asked, and three sets of eyes turned toward me. Over my career, I’d led hundreds of meetings, brokered multimillion-dollar deals, even served as a keynote to a crowd of over two thousand people. But I’d never been more terrified of opening my mouth than in the presence of three of the most important people in my life.
“I love her,” I blurted then slammed a hand against my forehead. I sounded like idiot who had swallowed a first-rate dork. I felt my face grow hot, but I plowed on, even in the presence of Julian and Davis’ shit-eating grins. “I do. I love her, and I want to do something to prove how much.”
Julian looked confused. “Well, do it. Why tell us?”
“Because it doesn’t involve just me.” I blew out a breath. “As you both know, Seth told Riley about the list…”
“The little fucker,” Davis muttered under his breath.
“…and as you can imagine, the concept of said list is offensive to Riley. And honestly, after giving it a great deal of thought, I’m not proud of it either.”
“It’s not illegal,” Davis said, louder this time, looking defensive.
I held up a hand. “No, it’s not illegal, and it’s also not something we want broadcasted, which means it teeters on the lines of moral.”
Riley scoffed and all eyes turned to her. She blushed but lifted her chin. “It’s about a hundred miles south of the line of morality, in my opinion.”
“Let’s get rid of it,” Julian offered, and my jaw sagged. “Seriously. It was fun while we were in our twenties, but now…” he shrugged. “When was the last time you accessed the list?”
We stared at each other. Clearly, I wasn’t about to offer an answer to that question, and it didn’t look like the other guys were going to fess up either.
Riley rolled her eyes. “What? So now you three are a bunch of choir boys?”
I smirked, keeping my mouth firmly shut.
“Besides…” Julian added, looking down at his hands, “I’ve met someone who might be special too.”
I stared at him, remembering the blonde, and nodded. “So, the timing is good, Julian?”
He looked up at me, a bit sheepish. “Yeah. Let’s scrub the past.”
Davis lifted a shoulder and grinned. “Seth is going to flip. So, let’s do it. One less thing the turd can fuck up for all of us.”
As I stood there, I felt blessed for the first time in… ever. Sure, I’d felt successful in the past. I’d felt lucky. Even fortunate, but never blessed. I’d never felt as if I actually deserved the good things in my life. I wasn’t sure if it was the frightening and uncertain environment I’d grown up in that had fucked me up, or my insistence at keeping people at arm’s length that made relationships so hard for me. But whatever it was, it no longer mattered. I had good friends. I had a successful business. I had a woman who loved me. A woman I loved in return.
As I watched Davis, Julian, and Riley walk over to the laptop that contained the encrypted file… as I watched Julian explain to Riley the combination of tools he would use to scrub the file clean from the hard drive forever… as I listened to the computer run the software that would remove the past from our futures, I smiled.
Maybe I wasn’t such a fuck up after all.
***
Riley woke up as I carried her through the lobby. She blinked in confusion and gazed up at me.
“You fell asleep in the car,” I explained with a chuckle.
She rubbed her eyes. “Yeah, I was tired. You can put me down.”
“I think I like you right where you are.”
She grinned wide and wrapped her hands around my neck. “Oh, really?”
“I’m not working today,” I announced as we entered the elevator.
“Maybe you should. I mean, you should do everything like you normally do, so that nothing looks suspicious to Seth.”
“Yesterday wasn’t a normal day though. My girlfriend was kidnapped.”
Riley’s smile became even bigger. “I like hearing that.”
“That you were kidnapped?” I teased.
“No, jerk,” she laughed. “That I’m your girlfriend.”
I rolled the word over and over in my head. I’d never used it before. I’d always had negative connotations associated with it. Saying it in reference to Riley, though, felt right. “I like saying it.”
The elevator doors opened, and a man and woman got on at floor twelve. Riley squirmed in my arms, clearly wanting to get down, but I held onto her tighter. The couple got off after a few floors. The second the doors closed behind them, Riley huffed.
“Xavier! That was so embarrassing!”
I grinned. “I think you liked it.”
“No,” she said around a wave of laughter. “I did not!”
I let her down once we were in the penthouse. Her feet and purse hit the floor, the prior making a loud thump. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pressed my face into the top of her head. “Are you working today?”
“I’m scheduled to be on at five.”
“Call out. Tell them something came up.”
She shook her head slightly. “I don’t know…”
I lifted her hair up and let it slowly fall back down her neck. “I’ll make it worth your while.”
I could feel the shiver running through her. “All right,” she said on a long sign. “I’ll call out. But I can’t be doing this all the time.”
“I know.”
“How about some brunch?” I asked.
Her smile lit up the room. “That sounds nice.”
I looped my arm over her shoulder and steered her toward the kitchen. “Come on. I think I have all the ingredients to make omelets.”
Riley laughed. “You cook?”
“Barely. I’m afraid this will need to be a joint effort.”
I pulled the ingredients out of the fridge and Riley got to work sorting everything while heating up a pan. She put me on dicing duty, her words snappy and quick, like she was the chef of my kitchen.
“You’re good at this,” I told her.
“I just want to make it right,” she answered sheepishly.
“With you taking charge, this will be the best omelet New York has ever seen.” I reached over and slapped her on the butt.
“Hey! I’m whisking eggs over here.”
I winked at her. “I’ll try to be good. No promises though.”
I paid attention to the pepper and onion in front of me, cutting them up into little squares, as per Riley’s instructions. She dumped them into the pan, and the delicious smell of frying veggies filled the kitchen. I wrapped my arms around Riley and pressed my hips into her back as she worked at the stove. Now that she was fully mine, I couldn’t get over touching her. Each time I had an urge to press my skin against hers, I just did it. It seemed so simple and so perfect.
Everything about this new stage of my life seemed simple and perfect. Since Riley, I hadn’t cared about things in the way that I used to. For the first time, I realized how little I truly needed. Like that list. I hadn’t been planning on continuing to use it myself, but I’d figured letting it exist wouldn’t be doing too much damage.
But I was wrong about that. And, once again, Riley was right. It was good we had destroyed the list. Not just for us, but for everyone involved.
We sat down and ate our meal together. It was actually fun, as we talked about topics normal couples probably did. We talked about her school. My work. Both of our hopes and dreams.
And when I made love to her later, it was with a sweet freedom I’d never experienced before. It was funny how I’d never realized how trapped I’d felt in the life I’d built around me.