CHAPTER THIRTY ONE
Riley
Seth grabbed his third or fourth beer from the cooler and popped the top. I eyed him with growing discomfort. I didn’t know how long we’d been out here, but it wasn’t that long ago that Seth had switched from water to alcohol. Since his first beer, he’d been guzzling like a champ. He’d also smoked a second joint.
I adjusted my weight on the seat and turned my face into the sail’s shade. “Are you okay to drink and then sail us back?”
Seth made a face. “Yeah, of course. Drinking and driving is bad. Sailing is fine. Do you see any dotted lines out here?” He waved his hand around the general area.
“Huh.” I didn’t buy what he said at all. I myself held no sailing knowledge whatsoever and wouldn’t be able to take us back to shore if something did happen. However, I figured Seth’s drinking might have a silver lining. Perhaps he was now loose enough to talk about what I came to learn.
“What kind of girls do you like?” I asked.
Seth’s bottle stopped halfway to his lips. He looked at me with a pleased smile. “Brunettes. Ones with brown eyes.”
My stomach churned, but I forced myself to keep my cool. “That’s funny. If you wanted to meet one you could just go and look her up in… a filing cabinet?”
“I wouldn’t need to look one up. I have one right here.” He scooted along the cushioned bench. His arm came up to snake around my shoulders and his hand pressed against my upper arm. I sucked in a sharp breath and held it.
Seth leaned his face toward me. The beer on his breath washed across my mouth. Even with my breath sucked in, I could smell it. Just before his lips made contact with mine, I pushed myself out of his reach.
Seth stared at me with wild eyes. “What’s the deal?”
“I’m just, I’m not into you in that way, Seth. Sorry. It’s so nice of you to bring me out here today, but I don’t feel that way about you. I was hoping we could be friends.”
I tried to hold back my cringe. I couldn’t afford for him to catch me in a lie.
Seth’s nostrils flared. “Okay, I get it. You just came out here to tease me. That’s how you get off.”
“No,” I insisted. “I just don’t have those kinds of feelings for you.”
He snorted and took another long drink of his beer. “Feelings. What kind of feelings do you need to have in order to have fun? Jesus Christ, Riley, you’re such an ice queen. No wonder Xavier is going crazy for you. You have him all pussy whipped.”
His words made me burn. Coming here was a mistake. It had been silly to think that I could somehow coerce Seth into basically sharing his and Xavier’s list with me. Now I was stuck here in the middle of the Hudson River with one of the most despicable people I’d ever met. I wanted to hide, but I stood on a boat I could clear in a few swift strides. I wanted to run, but there was nowhere to run to.
I looked away from Seth and dropped my face so that my hair fell across my cheeks. “I’m not feeling well. I think I’m getting seasick.”
“We’re not moving.”
“Yeah, but I’m not used to being out here. I think we should go back.”
Seth snickered. “You are such a bad liar. Really.”
He grabbed my wrist, and I jerked my arm away. My heart pounded, and all the little voices in my head screamed. Run, they said. Run away! Swim if you have to!
Were there sharks in the river? That’s all I could think as I stared back at Seth. He finished off his beer and dropped the bottle on the deck. It hit the wood with a thud and rolled a little bit before stopping. He started to reach for me again. Quick as I could, I jumped to my feet and took a step back.
“Really,” I said, my voice shaking. “I’m feeling really bad. I think I might throw up.”
Seth stood. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.”
Although I’d been watching him closely, I was still surprised when he lunged toward me. I dashed to my right just as he hit the deck. Seth was fully down, his right foot tangled up in the rope that tripped him.
“Fuck,” he grunted, turning to loosen his ankle.
Now that I’d taken one step to get away, I couldn’t stop. I skirted around Seth and ran to the cabin. Once inside, I slammed the door shut and locked it.
I heard Seth’s muffled voice on the deck above, calling my name. I took a few steps back from the door as his footsteps pounded toward me.
“Breathe,” I whispered to myself. “Just breathe.”
I was so dumb. I shouldn’t have come out here. I knew what kind of guy Seth was, and yet I thought I could control him. Thought I could use him and get what I wanted out of him. Thought I could save the day and do the right thing or even help some other women out. Maybe understand Xavier better.
I closed my eyes against the oncoming tears. That was the part I hadn’t let myself face. It was sad, really, but I half believed that if I found this list, I’d find another part of Xavier. A missing part. And maybe that would be the link I needed, and I would finally understand him. I would get why a man as passionate and deep as him could do such a thing as share his women.
It didn’t even make sense, but there it was. I knew I had to let go of Xavier, but I was unwilling to fully do it. I wasn’t finished with him yet. I needed more.
“Riley!” Seth banged on the closed door, and I flinched. “Let me in!”
I forced myself to breathe. Everything would be all right. I just needed to make a phone call. I’d call the police and let them know where we were and what was going on. I’d tell them Seth had consumed too much to drink, and he was trying to hurt me. They’d send the Coast Guard, or whoever was in charge of patrolling the Hudson River.
I turned and looked for my purse… and realized I hadn’t brought it down with me. I’d left it upstairs on the deck — with my phone.