CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Worth
With all the stresses we’d been through, Auggie had gone to a distant place in her mind. She was quiet for long periods of time and when she snapped back, she was often moody and argumentative. I knew she couldn’t be content with the dual loss of first Carlos and then the absence of our son. I also knew she felt a certain amount of guilt for allowing Carlos out to pasture when the grounds were so muddy, particularly after I’d brought it up.
She’d lost both refuge and purpose. Her dad was exploring his new life with Mother and I was away on business a good deal of the time. She had little in her life and even working the farm was painful because she feared attachment to another horse and its possible loss.
I decided to take Auggie away for a while to change her pace and the panorama she repeatedly faced on a daily basis. Summer was yet upon us, so I looked for something that was entirely different. I found Patoka Lake, a large recreational lake in southern Indiana. I knew she wouldn’t object because it wasn’t terribly far from Ford’s new school. I rented a large sailboat for a week and had Betsy fill boxes with foods and drinks.
Auggie had no idea what I had planned. She got up one morning and while she was in the shower, I had Betsy throw together her bathing suit and some casual clothes and put them in the car. When Auggie came into the bedroom, there was a pair of cut-offs and a t-shirt lying on the bed.
“What’s this?” she asked, unaccustomed to having clothing laid out for her.
“I’m taking you away for a few days,” I said, dressed in similarly casual clothing.
“Where?”
“Not far, but it’s a surprise. Just trust me. You’ll like it.”
“I don’t want to be away from home. What if Ford needs me?”
“You’ll be even closer than you are now, I promise.”
She didn’t entirely trust my promise, but obliged me and dressed. I picked her up and carried her downstairs and slid her into the passenger seat. “Worth, what on earth is going on?”
I pulled out of the estate and headed for the expressway. Reaching into the back seat, I pulled forward a picnic basket filled with fruit and muffins and a thermos of coffee. “Betsy sent these for your breakfast,” I said and she picked through the basket like a kid at Easter. It made my heart glad to see her happy again.
The lake was about two hours away and we arrived to find our boat waiting for us. Auggie was thrilled. She hadn’t been on water often throughout her lifetime, but loved it and had never sailed. I was looking forward to teaching her how to do it. We transferred things from the car to the boat and motored out into the lake to look for a place to anchor and get used to things.
Patoka Lake was actually a reservoir, created by the Army Corps of Engineers for flood control. Much of southern Indiana was very hilly and the rains could quickly flood the valleys in between the green small mountains. It was also a welcomed recreation area for tourists and had become quite popular.
We found a quiet inlet and with our retractable keel, drew very little water, allowing us to pull out of the mainstream passages. Around us, were lily pads and snake grass; you could hear the frogs and see fish leap out of the water to eat bugs on the surface with regularity.
I showed Auggie the cabin and we put away our things. It featured a queen-sized bed and a generous galley. We had onboard satellite links and antenna so we could set up WiFi, as well as have television. The appointments were deluxe and yet compact. Auggie loved it and immediately set about nesting.
When she came topside, I gave her a basic run-through on the concept of sailing and the use of the various sails. I showed her how to lower and raise the keel, control the wheel and raise and lower the sails as needed. She pretended to pay attention, but I knew she just wanted to lie on the foredeck in the sun and enjoy herself. I was more than willing to let her do just that.
Although I had sailed several times before, it had been awhile and I prowled around the engine compartment and read through the manual to familiarize myself with the gauges and controls. In the distance, speed boats whizzed by with skiers trailing behind them but we were content just where we were.
Auggie went down to the galley and emerged with toasted corned beef and Swiss sandwiches and chips, accompanied by cold beer. We remarked how food tasted better when you were outdoors and resolved to do that more often.
That evening, we set candles on the edge of the boat rail and I opened a bottle of wine while we snacked on cheese and other finger foods that Betsy had sent along. We propped our feet up and looked at the stars. It was a very clear night.
Auggie and I talked like we had never talked before. We seemed to be two different people there, in that water wildness. Even though there were probably a thousand other people on the lake or next to it that night, we felt alone and isolated. It was such a relief from our normal routine and troubles.
Auggie told me things I didn’t know about her; things she had lived through as a child. She related the stories of the many times her parents had fought, although her dad generally said little while her mother filled in any gaps. She had belittled him on a regular basis, listing his perceived shortcomings over and over. Auggie told me he had apologized calmly, as was expected, and although he behaved as though everything rolled off his back, she knew differently.
After the fights, Walter had sought the peace of the barns, tending to their livestock with the love and ease of spirit he couldn’t have within his house. Auggie followed him there and it had become their special place. When her mother ventured out, jealous they were having private time, they’d turned a cold shoulder to her, making it clear her boundaries ended at the doorway of the house. She had retreated, and plotted, and when they went back inside, she was always waiting with cannons loaded. In defense, Auggie and her dad spent more and more time outdoors and in the barns, and less in the house.
When Auggie left for college, she discovered a freedom she couldn’t have imagined. Suddenly, there was no one watching over her shoulder; no one to force her to curfew or to dust the furniture on Saturdays. She was free to make her own decisions and willing to stand the punishment for her own mistakes. Her dad had always kept her well-financed, but still there were things like missed classes and hangovers she had to contend with on her own.
“I went a little wild at first, I’ll admit,” she confided. “I suppose I was like a kid in a candy store. There were parties everywhere day and night. I tried drinking, I tried pot and a little wanton sex.” She took a sip of her wine. The moon shone off her hair and the light from the candles put shadows on the lower part of her face. She looked more like a gentle Madonna than a party girl. She was so beautiful I wanted to close my eyes and trap that image in my brain forever.
“We all do that, honey,” I told her, giving her absolution and a feeling of inclusion at the same time.
“I wasn’t really that bad of a girl, but compared to living in Mother’s house, it felt like it,” she said, picking up the wine bottle and refilling her glass and mine.
“Did I ever tell you I was Peter Pan?” she asked, laughing at the memory.
“No, I think you left that part out.”
“Well, I was. And not such a bad one, if I say so myself,” she shared. “I remember I had to dress in green tights and tunic and a hat with a feather on my head. They had me bound up in some kind of rigging from the rafters over the stage. They’d lower me and a boom would sort of swing me from one side to the other — like I was flying. At first, I thought it was really cool and looked forward to it. But then, opening night, my stomach was really nervous and upset. I didn’t want to go through with it and begged my understudy to take the role. It was a guy and I think he was even more scared than I was. He refused. So, I had no choice. Mother and Dad were in the audience and they’d brought a few of their friends with them. Their daughter, the star — you get it?”
I nodded and smiled, watching a candle’s flame as I listened to her voice, husky with the weight of memories.
She continued, “I climbed up into the overhead rigging and they strapped me in. They lowered the straps and then moved the boom to swing me across the stage like I’d just flown in through the bedroom window. I made it halfway across the stage and the straps against my stomach were too much. I puked. And when I say puked, I mean it. It literally sprayed down onto the stage and onto the backs of two other performers. Naturally, that made them lose it, too — they were just as nervous as I was. So, there we were, opening night, my debut as an actress, Mother with her friends she wanted to impress and the entire stage covered with vomit. I think I took out a few people in the first rows as well. What a disaster. Mother stood and dragged Dad with her. Her face was so pale and I thought she’d be yet another victim.”
I laughed so hard I blew the candle flame out. Auggie seemed quite proud of herself and I realized then how much fun she could be. I traded stories.
“Father came to school just once — for my graduation. I think he thought I might be lying about being there and wanted proof. Anyway, I knew he was coming and decided I wouldn’t walk with the class, but didn’t tell him. I waited and watched for him and when he finally showed up and took a seat, I took one two rows behind him. When it came time for my name to be called, they skipped me and went to the next person. He instantly recognized the gap.”
Auggie’s eyes were wide. “What did you do?”
Giving her a good squeeze, I laughed. “I stood and screamed, clapped and cheered. When he whipped around and saw me sitting in regular clothes in the audience, I thought he would burst a blood vessel. All he could think of was that he’d just paid for all that education — med school and all the other little doctorates — and I’d never gone to a single class, but had probably partied the entire time.”
“Oh, Worth, you’re awful! Mine was unintentional, but what you did was deliberate. Don’t you ever get tired of manipulating people?” she asked, not laughing the way I’d hoped she would.
Time to change the subject. “Not when it comes to manipulating parts of you!” I said and pulled her onto my lap. I kissed her forehead, petting her hair which was as rich as a pelt.
“Seriously, Worth, have you always been such a manipulator?” She looked up and those gorgeous green eyes swallowed me whole.
“My whole life. It’s who I am, honey. I calculate the odds and if I don’t like them, I change them. You know, in many circles that’s considered a talent.”
She stiffened and pulled away, her eyes still glued to mine. “Not in my circle. Why do you suppose Ford is who he’s turning out to be?”
“Don’t go there, Auggie. Ford may have a few rough edges that school will straighten out in him, but overall, he’s a great kid.”
Her entire body softened as she leaned against me again. “I know. I love him too.”
“Would you like to have another baby, Auggie?”
“Oh, Worth, I’ve thought about that. Especially the last few days when Ford was getting ready to go. I guess if it happens, I’m fine with it, but if it doesn’t, I can be fine with that too.”
That wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear. I wanted to have several children with Auggie. I’d spent a good part of my life carrying the heir mantle and it was far too heavy for one person. Better that it’s shared.
To that end, I slid my hand down her blouse and caressed her breasts. She twisted on my lap and leaned upward to kiss my chin. She laid against me like that for a long time; as a child would lie in a parent’s lap. I sensed that she was troubled, needed reassurance, and wanted to rebuild a sense of trust with me. I knew I hadn’t always kept my promises to her, that I’d left her alone much of the time. I knew that I could be a bit selfish with my time — the curse of anyone who is very dedicated to their work. She was very understanding about it, but that didn’t help when the other half of the bed was nothing but cold, crisp sheets. She didn’t realize that when I was away on business, I missed her just as much, if not more than she missed me. She had Ford and the house and all the familiar trappings of her life. I had only myself.
That’s when I realized she would no longer have Ford or Carlos. She would be alone. “Auggie?”
“Hmmm…”
“Would you like to travel with me when I go on business trips?” I asked, thinking it would give her some purpose.
“Not really,” she answered slowly. “Someone has to stay nearby in case Ford needs something and then there’s the farm to run. I’m really more comfortable in familiar surroundings.”
I understood and actually expected her reply to be close to that. She was an original, Auggie was. She wasn’t impressed by titles, money, power or possessions. She was only looking to be content and left to her independence. That’s the least I could give her. She would find something on her own that would interest her, I knew it in my heart.
I picked her up and carried her to the doorway to the cabin. I set her down and patted her butt. “Go down there and get into bed. I have to check on a couple of things and will be down shortly.” She nodded and started down the steps.
I made sure the anchor was secure and that the keel was locked into position. It was too shallow where we were anchored to lower it. The safety lights were on so any other vessel that came across us in the night would see us. The gauges were all spot on and everything was tidy and secure before I went below deck.
Auggie was waiting for me in the stateroom, ensconced in the bed and I could tell she was freshly showered. I crawled into her space as though joining her in a pod. I couldn’t get enough of her scent, her breath, the softness of her skin. I wanted to carry her inside me wherever I went.
She folded her arms around my neck and one hand began to stroke my cock. It was a matter of moments before I was hard, but I wanted to take my time with her. She was so vulnerable, lonely and a little afraid. I treated her as I’d seen her do many times with colts. I petted her arms, careful not to invade her feminine space too quickly. She kissed me and while I kissed her back, I held off any overt advances until she was relaxed in my arms. I’d brought some oil; essence of lavender and put a few drops in my hands. I began to massage the backs of her calves, a place where she was well-muscled from riding. She groaned at the pleasurable feeling and I extended it to her feet, careful not to tickle her. I knelt between her legs and she let me lift each foot in turn, massaging the rich oils into her soles and between her toes. I looked up and saw that she was lying with her eyes closed, her head flung slightly back. Her thick, luxurious hair was spread over her like a coverlet and her nipples rose between the strands, pink and begging to be kissed.
Despite the throbbing of my penis, I held back and continued massaging up her inner thighs, a finger gently, but not deeply, delving into her from time to time. The intrusion, however welcomed, was unexpected and her nerve endings were on alert, making each thrust a delightful surprise.
My broad hands spread out upon her hips, their flare perfectly fitting into my flattened palms. More oil here and I pushed my hands around until her ass was cradled in them. Gently, I pulled apart the cheeks of her ass and gently followed that with a fingertip of oil, massaging gently into that tender skin. In response, she wriggled upon my finger, setting my cock afire with the need to feel her upon me in the same way.
Eventually, my mouth found those rosy nipples, pushing aside the thick hair with the tip of my nose and nuzzling her breasts. One hand continued to massage the inside of her thighs and although she spread her legs, I didn’t yet enter her. My hand carressed each breast, my fingers gently tweaking her nipples in a soothing rhythm.
Only when I felt her body completely relax did I unleash the storm of my passion upon her. She caught her breath as I penetrated her, driving hard into her depths. She instinctively rose to meet me and the effect was perhaps the most complete immersion into her body as was possible. Her feet wrapped around my back and my hands lifted her ass as I pumped into her. I wanted to drive out all the uncertainty, the grieving, and the pain. I wanted to possess her completely and for her to never doubt that she belonged to me.
The process had been excruciatingly slow and now I began to reward myself for the endurance. I ground my hips into her, rotating a bit with each thrust so as to slide along yet another wall of her woman’s cave. I could feel the explosion of her juices around me and as much as I wanted to do so in kind, I held back, continuing to pump into her.
I lifted her back, folding her against me so that her breasts slammed into my chest as her mound swallowed my balls. I just couldn’t seem to get close enough, warm enough, intimate enough for it to ever become enough.
In one smooth motion, I flipped her onto her tummy and hiked up her hips, pushing her legs apart so I could mount her like a sire. This was language she understood and instinctively responded to. She held very still, not wanting me to fall back and away from her. Over and over, I pumped her as quickly as I could. There was a ferocity building where the tenderness had once lived. I was claiming her. I would fill her and she would carry my seed within her; its heat and virility a message of love from my loins to her hot cave. She raised up and her hair slid over me, it’s silky texture inflamed me further until I could hold it back no longer. I exploded, within her and atop her; her bottom arching backward to revel in it and to keep the heat of my cock inside her. I found I could not move out of her and like two dogs, we were locked into that position until the pressure subsided and I was flaccid enough to pull out.
I collapsed to her side and she looked at me, her eyelids heavy with passion, her face rosy from the friction. I think we acknowledged silently that we’d never made love like that before. It felt more like a fusing of sword shaft to handle. Apart we were useless. Welded, we could not be vanquished.
I wrapped her in my arms and pulled a coverlet over us against the damp of the night. We slept.