Chapter 33
Mason
There was nothing when I came home. Ash left Milan, I was stuck with the likes of Eva, and I just couldn’t handle it. The engagement ring had been burning a fucking hole in my robe pocket, so I simply packed up my shit, left Eva yelling at me in the doorway of the mansion in Milan, and peeled the fuck out. The city felt empty without her, and the world had come crashing down around us, and I had no idea how to fix it.
I didn’t really know if it could be.
Why the hell was this so hard? Why the hell was Ash getting so angry with me every time I brought up our differences? All sorts of couples have differences? What the hell was wrong with ours?
I loved our differences. I loved watching her face while we flew up the coast. I loved watching her eyes light up as she walked the city of Milan for the first time. I loved the way she gripped my thighs hard on the jet plane when she was scared of flying over the ocean. All those things were incredible about her. Everything was so new and fresh.
Nothing was new and fresh with Eva. Or Winston. Or my mother. Or even me.
I loved that she hadn’t experienced everything because it meant I could have all her first times. I gave her her first man-induced orgasm, but we’d experienced so much more together. I took her to her first charity dinner and got to hold her hand and comfort her through her first bitch rage with Eva. I got to buy her her first ever real materials for her jewelry and take her on her first ever plane trip out of the country. I got to buy her her first ever piece of clothing that was more than fifteen dollars, and she got to share with me my first time ever having sex in a car.
I’d never be able to fuck another woman in another vehicle ever without thinking of her.
I hopped on my private jet without Eva and flew back to L.A. I was promptly met with the shrieks of my mother. She wanted to know what the hell that recording was that I sent her, and she was infuriated that I’d sent it to our lawyer.
Apparently, our lawyer promptly contacted Eva’s parents and threatened them with a class action lawsuit if Eva thought for one second she could get away with anything she was spewing, and it pissed her father off so much he called to rip her back from her ledge.
And here my mother was, debasing me because I was sullying the family name, along with causing a rift between us and Eva’s family
I didn’t even care anymore. I dragged my shit up to my bedroom and slammed the door shut. Mother was constantly yelling things up the stairs at me. Things like “Why are you doing this to us?”, and “I raised you better,” and “We had so many plans.”
You’d think I’d taken her prim and proper little puppies with their little bows and their matching haircuts and their fur dyed the same color hair as my mother’s for ransom. You would’ve thought a madman was holding a gun to her head, and she was begging me to do something just so he wouldn’t blow her brains out.
She was hysterical, and it made me sick.
I watched the sun go up and down, and I lost count of my days. My phone was ringing with my mother’s asinine text messages, and I was letting the battery run out. I watched message after message from Winston, my mother, and even fucking Eva roll through. And then it simply cut off.
I got up to piss and draw the curtains every once in a while, and then I slept. I didn’t give a shit about what day it was or what dumbass functions I was missing. They weren’t any fun without Ash anyway. She made fun of people’s dresses and talked about how gaudy their bright diamonds were.
I loved her muted style juxtaposed against her bright jewelry and her red lipstick.
Mother kept yelling through the door at how disappointed she was with me for how I treated Eva. She couldn’t believe what I had done to their family, and how I could actually take any of her threats seriously. She was pissed that our lawyer was following up on Eva’s threats as if they were real, and for the first time in days, I lifted my head and shouted back at my mother.
“If you really think what I did was so wrong, then you’re not the woman Dad married anymore!”
I heard her gasp in shock before she let out a shuddered breath. Had I not been so fucking done with the entire situation, I probably would’ve felt bad. My mother had been through a lot and changed absolutely everything about her in order to fit in. All I did was throw it back in her face, along with reminding her of her dead husband.
But he was also my dead father, and I had to keep telling myself that he would’ve never allowed this. He never would’ve stood for it. I had to keep telling myself that, if I’d told him I was in love with Ash and not Eva, he would’ve supported me.
I had to think that someone in this house wouldn’t have been such a damn hypocrite.
Who gave a fuck if I was trashing the family name? Who gave a fuck if I didn’t marry Eva? She’d be a shitty mother anyway. Not that she’d raise her own children. I’d obviously be expected to hire someone to do that for her, while paying for the tummy tuck she would want so she didn’t have to deal with all those stretch marks come bikini season.
Ash would’ve worn her stretch marks proudly. To her, it would’ve been proof that she carried our children, and she would’ve loved every inch of them.
At least, I would’ve.
I sighed when I heard my doorknob begin to jiggle. Jesus, wasn’t my mother going to leave it alone? Surely, she’d shouted herself hoarse, and lord knows she didn’t have the strength to muscle into my room.
But when my door swung open, I tilted my head and saw Winston standing in the doorway.
“Really, Mase?” he asked.
“You’re the one who came in unannounced,” I groaned.
“Good thing I swiped this bobby pin last night,” he said.
“Did you really just pick my lock?”
“Yep. Now. Get the fuck outta bed.”
“No, thanks,” I said.
“Dude, you’re pathetic. This is all your fault. You don’t get to pout.”
“What the fuck is this all my fault for?” I hissed.
I felt the covers being thrown back, and Winston jumped from the side of the bed.
“Cover that thing up, would you?” he exclaimed.
“Don’t pick my lock, steal my covers, and then get pissed when my dick is out.”
“Come on,” he said. “Up you go.”
I felt Winston grab onto my shirt and tug it until I was upright, and then his arms slid under mine. He crinkled his nose and complained about how I smelled, but when he got me to the bathroom, he flicked the light on, and it caused me to lay against the counter.
“Jesus that’s bright,” I said.
“Yep. Light’ll do that sometimes. Now, I’m gonna get a shower started, you’re gonna get undressed, and then I’m tossing these disgusting clothes down the stairs.”
“Try to hit my mom on the way down, would you?” I asked.
“There’s my Mase. Now, shower.”
I heard the water turn on and the room began to fill up with steam. I yanked off the shirt I was wearing while Winston stripped down my bed. He threw it over the banister, and I heard a muffled yelp come from the bottom of the stairs.
“Goal achieved,” Winston said.
The water pouring off my body in the shower swirled down the drain a different color, and it physically made me sick. I didn’t know how long I’d laid in that bed and cried tears I’ll never admit to. I’d lost Ash, and I had nothing to look forward to but our damned skiing trip to Aspen. I was sure my mother would find a way to patch things up with Eva’s family if she promised our marriage by the end of the year.
I raged out in the shower and punched the tile so hard I thought I’d broken my knuckles.
“Dude. You just rolled out of bed after four days. Let’s not rush to the doctor just now, all right?” Winston called out.
“Four days?”
“Yeah. Four days. Get a grip.” Winston sighed.
I saw him lean up against the bathroom counter, and I was pissed that he was hovering nearby.
“You gonna give me some privacy?” I asked.
“Actually, no,” Winston said. “I’m gonna tell you all the ways you fucked up.”
“Seriously? While I’m showering.”
“Yep. You’re gross. You’ll be in there a while, and I’ve got something to go do in an hour.”
“All right. So, tell me how I fucked up, wise old best friend.”
“You belittled Ash, again,” he said.
“No, I was just trying to show her that assimilating into our world was going to be hard, but that I was willing to do it if she was,” I countered.
“Not in her mind. See, what you meant doesn’t matter one bit. How you made her feel does.”
“The fuck?” I said.
“Yeah. What you meant was honorable. Got it. But how it was interpreted is what Ash is carrying with her. And Mason, you might be right, but you don’t get to say the things you’ve said to Ash and then get pissed when she starts to feel some kinda way about it. You’re not the deliverer of news and then the dictator of her feelings.”
“I didn’t try to—”
“It’s not about what you did! It’s how she interpreted it, Mase!”
“Then tell me how the fuck she interpreted it,” I said.
“She thought you were calling her lower than you,” Winston said. “She thought you were telling her she wasn’t good enough to be in your world because she didn’t come from money, but that you were willing to drop your standards to be with her. You made it seem like you were doing her a favor, because in the beginning you were.”
Fuck. I didn’t even think of it that way.
“In the beginning, that’s exactly what this was, Mase,” Winston said. “It was a lost bet that turned into a favor you were doing for a random woman to fulfill a bet. But somewhere along the line, you fell in love with her, didn’t you?”
“I think the engagement ring in my pajama robe says that,” I said.
“Engagement ring? Okay, we’ll get to that in a second. See, I get what you’re saying because I’m like you. You fell in love with a woman whom everyone around you sees as lower than you, and while you don’t see it that way, you know that if she stays with you, she will be surrounded by people that do think that way. While you were falling in love, you were also trying to show your mother that you weren’t gonna marry Eva, so you made Ash a pawn. A pawn you loved, but a pawn nonetheless.”
“She wasn’t—”
“Seriously, dude? Shut up.”
“Don’t I get to talk?” I asked.
“You talking is what got you into this mess. Just fucking listen, for once.”
“Fine,” I groaned.
“When you told Ash that people wouldn’t accept her beside you, did you tell her that their opinions didn’t matter to you?”
“Well, no,” I said.
“When you told Ash that money meant the world to the people around you, did you tell her you couldn’t give a shit about it?”
“No,” I said.
“When you told Ash you loved her, did you tell her all the reasons why?” Winston asked.
“Jesus,” I said.
“And finally, every time Eva opened her fucking face to debase Ash in the conniving way she does, did you ever once defend her?”
I couldn’t even bring myself to answer that last question.
“Yes, Ash is independent, but she’s still a woman. Does she want your money? No. Does she want your lifestyle? Not a chance. But does she want your support? Your defense? Yeah. She’s a fucking woman, dude. Her wanting you to defend her doesn’t make her weak. It proves yourself as the man standing next to her. She’s not the only one that has to prove that she’s worth something standing by your side. You have to prove that you’re worth something standing by hers.”
“When the hell did you get so philosophical on women, Winston?” I asked.
“When I started screwing a lot of them, and they started yelling at me all the things that I did wrong. That shit doesn’t go in one ear and out the other. You should be thanking your stars that Ash doesn’t yell at you every time you royally fuck up. If she did, she’d be like your mother.”
I turned off the shower, and I saw a towel being tossed over the glass door.
“You underestimate Ash’s strength. The likes of you won’t take her down. But you’re also underestimating your determination. If you wanna be with her, then go fucking get her and tell her that. Tell her that what people think doesn’t mean shit. Tell her what you did to Eva. Tell her that what people will say to you doesn’t matter. Tell her you love her and whatever that means for your fortune, so fucking be it. Be a man, Mase.”
I wrapped the towel around my waist and stepped out of the shower. I felt rejuvenated and refreshed, but most of all, I felt enlightened. I finally understood why the hell I kept pissing this beautiful woman off, and it was all thanks to Winston.
“I’d hug you,” I said. “But…”
“Yeah. Keep that shit to yourself. Listen, if you don’t go get her, you’ll regret it forever. I know you. You’ll marry Eva, you’ll scream Ash’s name in bed every time, and you’ll die a miserable man. Go get her, stop fucking up, and tell her shit, dude.”
“I’ve got some other things I need to take care of, but maybe I could go see her tomorrow…” I trailed off.
“Well, word on the street, and by street, I mean Frank, says Ash’s ex was waiting for her when she got back to her apartment. Apparently, he wants her back.”
“Excuse me?” I said flatly.
“Wanna know the kicker? Her ex, Jason? It’s the fucking dude from the play. That bassist bitch that stood up and took a bow after the performance. Yeah. That prick.”
That prick. The one who made Ash sign that fucking release to talk about their relationship all over some disgusting reality television show. That prick. The one who couch surfed and took all of Ash’s money then spent his gig money on booze and drugs. The one who was trying to get his hands back onto the woman I loved.
No fucking way in hell I was letting that happen to Ash again. Even if she didn’t take me back, she fucking deserved better than that piece of shit.
“I’ll leave you to your own decisions,” Winston said. “But remember. Stop fucking up.”
“Yeah,” I said as I scrambled for my clothes. “Got it.”
It made me sick, thinking that some guy was already trying to make moves on Ash. Especially the likes of that bleach-blonde mohawked idiot bassist who was only using her for his own C-list celebrity fame. Ash was the one for me, and even if she never took me back, I was never gonna get over her. She was perfect in every single way I’d been craving ever since I got bored with all the woman I let hang off my arm. She was thick, and delicious, and spunky, and witty, and creative, and just the right amount of confident and self-conscious that made me smile as she pressed her body deeply into mine in a room full of people.
I pulled on my clothes and plugged my phone in. It rang out with unsolicited text messages and numerous voicemails of my mother blowing her vocal chords to hell trying to get me to pick up the damn phone. I ignored them all to call the two places I needed to in order to try and win Ash back.
I called her work to talk to Luna, and I called my driver to see when he was free.