Chapter 19
Mason
“Fuck!”
My damn golf ball landed in the water feature again and my club went bouncing against the green. I was up fifteen more points than I usually was, and Winston was already giving me weird looks. I couldn’t keep my head in the fucking game long enough to sink anything that didn’t take me four strokes to get it there, and I didn’t know what the hell I was doing on the golf green today anyway.
“What’s eating your asshole, Mase?” Winston asked.
“Nothing,” I murmured.
“Well, something’s stuck up there, and it’s ruining your game. We’re supposed to go catch drinks after this. You gonna be all right for that?”
“I’m always all right for drinks,” I said. “You know that.”
“Seriously, Mase. Talk to me. Let’s just get into the cart and go up to the clubhouse or something.”
“I just got into an argument with Ash, is all.”
“Must’ve been a little more than an argument,” Winston said.
We walked to go get my club so I could re-tee my ball, and when I swung and chipped nothing but grass, I yelled my frustrations out loud.
“Damn it!”
“All right. Enough golf. Come on.” Winston took my club and threw everything into the cart, and we started for the clubhouse just as the clouds began to gather over the golf course.
“So, spill it,” he said. “What happened with the girl?”
“We just got into an argument over brunch,” I murmured.
“I’m surprised she could do brunch while having a job during the week,” Winston said.
“See, why didn’t you inform me of any of these differences? You and your research should’ve told me this before I started!”
“Whoa, slow down. Start at the beginning.”
I ended up telling Winston everything over two bourbons and no lunch. I told him how I compared Frank and him, and how I talked about how our monetary circumstances would eventually force a rift between us. I told him about what Eva said at the dance and how she was right, and I even told him about how fervently Ash fought for us while I sat there and railed at her about how different our lives were.
“Dude. You’re an idiot.” Winston chuckled.
“But, Eva’s right. My life’s already planned for me, and things are doomed to fail with Ash anyway. Why drag her through something like that? She’s been through enough.”
“Are you seriously gonna roll over and listen to that bloated bitch? Mase, look. Eva’s great and all if you want to marry Satan’s daughter, but the only reason you think you’re doomed with Ash is because you’ve convinced yourself of that.”
“Cut the shit, Winston,” I sighed.
“Dude. Fucking buck up and listen. If you had any balls, you’d go beg for that wonderful woman back. I saw the two of you cuddled up all night when we went to go get drinks. I saw the light in your eyes whenever she slid her hand over onto your thigh. I saw you rubbernecking the back half of the play just so you could catch a glimpse of her while you were messaging. And Ash, she’s fucking incredible. She might not know anything about traveling like you shoved in her face, but she sure as hell knows a lot about life and struggle, which you don’t.”
“I lost my father, Winston. I sure as hell know what struggle is about.”
“Not emotional struggle,” he said. “Life struggles. Paychecks and bills and cars you can’t afford and eating ramen every single day for every single meal before your next paycheck. That shit turns you into someone who appreciates worth. Someone who appreciates life. You live life, and you have worth, but she has built her life up with her own two hands. And she appreciates worth when it stands in front of her. There’s a fucking difference.”
I’d never thought of it like that, and he had a solid point.
“And all it sounds like you did was shit on her about how she doesn’t have what you have,” Winston said. “Then you told her it wouldn’t work, then tried to keep her around long enough to screw her anyway.”
“Fuck you, Winston,” I said.
“Suck up the truth and go get her. Or live the life your mother’s planned. Right now, all you’re doing is rolling over to a life that’s been laid out for you by your mother after you’ve gotten a taste of something you’d rather have.”
“And what exactly is it that I want?” I asked.
“Ash.”
I shook my head and guzzled down the last of my bourbon.
“To hell with what others think,” Winston said. “You’ll live a meaningless life and find yourself in a loveless marriage if you roll over and play dead for the likes of Eva and your mother. And I don’t even have to preach at you about regret, because it’s obvious how you’re feeling by how fast you’re drinking that alcohol down.”
I looked down at my empty drink. The waitress came by and asked if I wanted another. I nodded, and she shuffled off. Then Winston said something that drove every single point he’d ever made home.
He pointed at my empty glass. “Welcome to what you’ll be doing for the rest of your life. Chugging down drinks to cope with your regret, before you go home and fake orgasms with Eva.”
The waitress brought me my next drink, but I didn’t touch it. I promptly got up from my chair and went to throw some money down onto the table. Winston held me off and told me he’d get it.
“Go do something you want with your life for once, Mase. Give yourself permission to be happy with something else.”
I’d made a gigantic mistake with Ash. She plagued my thoughts, and I felt empty when she got up and walked out of that restaurant, but I had no idea how the hell I was going to make it up to her. I had thrown her lifestyle in her face while I played up mine, and then I expected her to simply understand and try this with me anyway. I never once defended her to Eva, and I allowed that ice-cold woman to get into my head. Then I insulted her best friend who she was helping out during a rough time.
Shit. How the fuck was I gonna dig myself out of this disaster?
I went back home and tried sending Ash some messages, but I got no response. It had been a few days since the debacle at brunch, and part of me couldn’t blame her for not getting back to me.
But then, an idea struck me hard. Not just an idea to get Ash back, but an idea that would strike down Eva and any chance she thought she had at taking our family’s money and running with it. And I’d shut my mother up in the process.
“Mom!”
“Yes, son?” she called back.
“Are you using the limo for anything tomorrow?”
“No. Do you have something special planned for Eva?”
“Not a chance!”
I opened my phone while my mother continued to yell up the stairs, and I started placing a few calls. I set plans in motion and gave several places my card number. Then I double-checked reservations before I began to look up all the craft shops in the area. I had no idea which one she worked at, but I knew where she lived, and when I found the two that were closest to her apartment, I called and tried to figure out if she worked there.
An older woman named Luna picked up after the first ring and informed me that she did have an Ash working for her. I thanked her for her time before I hung up the phone.
I knew what I was gonna do to get Ash back, and I hoped to god she would give me one last shot.