Chapter 6
Bailey
Darren walked back to his car without a fight and without looking back. He was still just as laid back as I’d remembered him to be. He also seemed taller than I remembered.
He still had his muscular physique and rugged good looks. I wasn’t sure how much he actually worked out, but it was clear that moving all those A/C units had kept him in exceptional shape. He was about 6’3”, still had his shaggy brown hair and his soft, light green eyes. When I saw him last, he was clean-shaven and had short hair. Now, his hair was a few inches longer, and he had nicely trimmed facial hair, with an impressive beard, which was weird to see on him, but not necessarily a bad thing. He’d had a treble clef note tattooed on his right arm, but I wasn’t able to see it through his shirt. I wondered if he had any new tattoos.
“He is fine as hell,” Leah muttered quietly behind me. “I might have to find me a guy down here. He’s better looking than every man who’s ever bought me a drink in Memphis.”
“Every man in Memphis?” I asked skeptically.
“Look, don’t take this the wrong way,” she said. “But, I thought guys that lived in this part of the country were all going to be fat hicks that didn’t bathe. That guy could be a model. What was his name, again?”
We both watched as he drove away in his car. It looked like a Ford Focus.
“Darren,” I answered.
“You should invite him out for drinks tonight,” she said elbowing me. “If you don’t want him, I’ll gladly sit on his face.”
“Leah!” I exclaimed.
She shrugged. “What? I like him. He looks tasty.”
Ignoring her remarks, I decided to face the music and go back into the funeral home to speak with the director about arrangements. He came over once he saw Leah and me standing beside the coffin that held my father’s body.
“Would you like to open it?” he asked me.
When we were coming over, I intended to look at my father one last time before I was to have him cremated. But, as I stood only inches away from the box that concealed him, I couldn’t bear to see him without life filling him. I shook my head, fighting to hold back tears. Leah put her arm around me.
“There will be a service tomorrow morning?” he asked.
“Yes,” I confirmed. “I ordered a headstone for him next to my grandparents over at the cemetery across the street.”
“Okay,” he nodded. “Where will the service be held?”
“I don’t care,” I replied. “Whatever church is closest.”
“That’ll be St. Violet’s over on Twin Street,” he said. “Is that okay?”
“That’s fine,” I said. “Just do it. I just want it done.”
I wasn’t sure what exactly it was that sent me over, but I was struggling to hold it together. I stared at my father’s coffin, wishing that it would pop open and my dad would grab me and wrap me in a bear hug, assuring me that everyone was just playing a sick practical joke on me. Maybe he, Darren, and the funeral director were all working to try and bring me back to Rome to be back with the people I loved and missed. I was willing to move back to Rome for the rest of my days if it meant having one more day with my dad.
“I will take good care of him, Ms. Wright,” the funeral director said. “Would you like any brochures printed out, or any sort of—”
“I’ll email you with all the details later,” I told him. “Please be careful with him.”
My lip quivered. I had to stop staring at the coffin in blind, impossible hope. I hugged Leah, squeezing out as much sadness as I could.
“If I may say,” said the funeral director. “I wish you luck in all of your musical endeavors. You’re on your way to the top. I can tell.”
I sniffed, wanting to laugh and enjoy how yet another person recognized me without really knowing me.
I put on a fake smile. “Thank you.”
“My niece loves your music,” he continued. “You’re going to be a superstar—bigger than Kelly Clarkson, bigger than Celine Dion!”
As he continued to sing my praises, my mind was lingering on the last phone call that I’d had with my dad. To say that I was feeling remorseful would have been an understatement. I hated myself for rushing through our last phone call. I despised myself for ending the call to go and work in the damn studio.
Now, I had none of my grandparents and neither of my parents. I didn’t feel old. I felt alone.
Leah and I went to a nearby diner called Floyd’s. I used to go to Floyd’s with friends all the time back in the day, Darren included, and I just wanted to be in a familiar place. I wanted to eat somewhere that I didn’t associate with my dad though. He never liked Floyd’s.
Whenever I went to Floyd’s, I never ate and ran. I always spent at least two hours there, and most of that time was spent talking with company.
“Nice place,” Leah commented about Floyd’s.
I sipped my milkshake, wondering if anyone else was going to come up to me and recognize me. I was grateful that no one was approaching me.
“I keep expecting someone to come up and ask you for your autograph,” said Leah.
“I hope that doesn’t happen,” I said. “If someone tries to talk to me about music, I’m going to look like an asshole. I’m not in any shape to talk about something trivial.”
“Hmm.”
“What?”
“I know you’re upset, Bailey, but your career is ‘trivial’?”
I groaned. “You know what I mean. Priorities, you know?”
She nodded. “So, what is it about this place that you hate?”
“I don’t hate Floyd’s,” I said.
“Not Floyd’s,” she said. “I mean Rome. What is it about this town that you dislike? I kind of like it around here. It’s quiet, cute.”
“I don’t hate Rome,” I told her. “I don’t even dislike it. But there’s nothing for me here. All I had was my dad, and he never made me come back here. He always visited me wherever I was.”
“Did you leave because of the guy?”
I rolled my eyes. “What guy?”
“You know fucking well what guy,” she said and laughed. “That beautiful man I met earlier today. What’s the story between you two?”
“I never told you about him?” I asked.
Leah laughed. “Are you kidding me? I hardly know anything about your past. You never talk about Rome. You’ve never talked to me about that guy. Hell, you never mention anything that happened before you moved to Memphis. I know a lot about what kind of person you are, and I love that person. But, as far as where you came from? You could’ve been a serial killer for all I know.”
I laughed. “Nah, I was selling meth before I met you.”
“Are you serious?”
“No!” I assured her. “I thought you knew me! I was joking.”
“Tell me about your past then.”
“There’s not much to tell,” I replied. “I’ve told you about my parents. I had a good childhood, and they both encouraged me to stay with music. I was really shy when I was young, so I usually hung out in town with my friends and did nothing, you know? When I picked up music seriously, that’s when I knew I had to leave. My life really started in Memphis.”
“And Darren?” she asked. “He wasn’t just close to you, was he?”
“He was close to my whole family,” I said. “My dad loved him. All my friends here loved him, too. Everyone thought we were supposed to be together.”
“You guys weren’t together?” she asked.
“No,” I said. “Darren was my best friend for years growing up. We never officially dated or anything. We kind of tried to see where things could go near the end of my time here.”
“Nice,” said Leah.
“But,” I continued, “he didn’t want to come with me, and I didn’t want to come back here after I left. I hadn’t seen him since I moved. Today was the first time I’ve seen him in years.”
“So, you don’t know if he’s single or not?” she asked. “I’ve been wondering. Maybe I’ll kidnap him and take him back to Memphis with us.”
“Okay,” I said with a strange knot in my stomach. “This is not something I want to talk about with everything that’s going on.”
“So, you still have feelings for him?”
“No,” I said quickly without thinking. “I—it was weird seeing him again. It’s been six years. I couldn’t possibly still have feelings for him. I just don’t want to think about my current best friend hooking up with my old best friend. It’s weird and gross.”
“I don’t think it’d be gross at all.” Leah chuckled mischievously.
“The point is,” I said as if I didn’t hear her, “when I left, I had no intention of ever coming back. I thought I’d buy a big house for my dad. He could’ve retired, grown old and lived the life he deserved. Instead, he died on the floor of our old house, alone, after I blew him off for work.”
“You can’t blame yourself, Bailey,” said Leah. “You couldn’t have known your dad was going to pass away like that. Your dad loved you, and he was super proud of you. Remember that.”
I did remember that, and that wasn’t going to leave me. What bothered me was that I didn’t know whether my dad knew how much I cared about him.
My dad knew that I loved him, but there was always a part of me that feared he’d been hurt when I left my hometown to try and “chase the dream.” I wondered if others in Rome had taken it personally when I left, but I only truly cared what my dad thought. It pained me to think that he’d died thinking I wanted to get away from him.
I wasn’t trying to get away from my dad, the house I grew up in, or even Darren. Rome wasn’t a place that could birth the kind of career that I wanted. Most people in northwest Georgia didn’t even listen to the kind of music I wanted to make. I could have found a job in Rome, settled down and been content with being surrounded by my friends and dad. But I wouldn’t have been happy.
I became even unhappier when realizing what was waiting for me at St. Violet’s that next day.