My knees are bent into my chest. The California highways at night become one big blur of darkness, truck stops, and passing lights.

I wonder what’s running through Todd’s head… Or Billie’s… I’ve just run off with Landon, a goddamned biker I’m not even supposed to know. They have no way to find me or contact me. Will they be panicking? Will they put out a missing persons report? If only I’d had time to do this right or to come up with a story that makes sense. Thing is, life doesn’t wait for the perfect time. I can’t see a hope of ever repairing my relationships here once I go back.

‘…once I go back…’ That thought confirms I haven’t fully chosen yet whether I’ll stay in Jethrow or not. I’ve chosen Landon, sure, but I can’t get my head around staying in that town… Baddock, the security of my studio, nature, and being away from the chaos of too many people— I fear I’ll miss all of that too much.

But that’s not a priority to worry about right now. I have three days to make a decision.

Now’s not the time, Lucy.

“You comfortable back there, darlin’?” Landon asks quietly.

“I’m okay.”

He reaches a hand back towards me and I accept it willingly.

We pulled off the highway to all take a nap and eat then returned on our journey into the morning.

The sun has risen over the hills that wall the horizon. The scenery’s changed from dense forests to open plains once more. Industrial businesses begin appearing, familiar ones. The old county abattoir that shut down in the eighties, still as decrepit as ever, clues me into our impending arrival.

Then I see it…

The worn-down sign…

Jethrow, Oregon, there to tell me I’ve truly left my comfort zone many miles behind me.

I laugh at the graffiti covering the ‘J’ and the ‘E’ that instead spells out ‘DEA’. Kids have done this for years and no matter how hard the town council try fix it, they can’t stop it from happening. Thing is, they’re looking at the problem all wrong. The issue isn’t the kids doing the graffiti— It’s the knuckle-head, addict parents who raise them and make the town the Deathrow it is. Fix them and you fix the sign.

“Great. Looking forward to this,” Landon says, tone dripping in sarcasm.

Driving through the old streets is strange to me but not foreign. Not a lot has changed as far as the buildings and Mom ’n’ Pop stores go. In fact, someone could’ve said to me that I’ve only been gone days, not years, and I’d have believed them.

It’s when we drive by the Savvy 7 Gas Station that my panic starts to kick in. I’ve left my meds behind so am afraid of how I might react just being here. My hands tremble as I rub them together and look into Savvy 7 to the bored, young female working behind the counter like I did back in high school. She was me once, only with less blood on her hands. I time-travel to back then, those six years ago, to Landon’s face watching me through the window of his mom’s truck, him shouting to me to be happy and keep fighting as I drove away. He wore a red baseball cap and his wife-beater was tainted with blood and dirt. This memory would otherwise hurt, keep me confined to my bed for hours, but all I have to do now is reach forward to the passenger seat to place my hand on his arm and I feel comforted.

“Here you go,” the truck driver, Bluey, tells us. We’re standing outside a shitty motel that used to moonlight as the Jethrow brothel. I don’t know if they’d ever be bothered to clean it up.

We thank him, unload Landon’s bike and watch him disappear down the main street. More panic seeps in. I’m in this now. No more running.

After twenty minutes standing in the uncomfortable morning sun, Landon comes back with some keys and gestures me to follow him. He opens a door into a suite that’s embedded with the smell of dampness and stale cigarettes.

“Wow, what a shit hole,” I say.

I wish I could be back in my studio wrapped up with Babeen right now. I drag my tensed eyes over the brown carpet, the pink sheets, the gaudy comforter…Bleck! It’s tacky, disgusting, claustrophobic.

“There’s only one bed,” I notice.

“It’s all they had sweetheart… I’m takin’ the floor anyhow.”

“The floor? You’ll get sick. There’s mould on the wall over there.”

“I’ll survive.”

“Landon, let’s not stay here.”

“They’re the only ones that take cash, Lucy. You got a bank card you want to use?” I don’t answer. I have a bank out of necessity to get my wages and for nothing else. I don’t even know how much is in there at this point. “Didn’t think so. Bluey gave me some money for tonight. He’s old MC crew from Santa Cruz. He gets it. We gotta keep this quiet and stay here till I figure out what’s going on, for our own sakes’.”

I cross my arms. “No.”

“Pardon?”

“I’m not your prisoner. I don’t wanna stay here and I don’t have to. It creeps me the fuck out. Let’s go somewhere else.”

I’m bluffing but I walk outside anyway and down the row of other doorways. There’s someone fucking in #18. I can hear them. A nervous businessman is staring out the window in #13, waiting for his call girl, I guess.

Landon follows me and calls after me nicely. I don’t respond. My inner child is screaming at me ‘WARNING WARNING WARNING’. The morning feels muggy and sticky already, that same air that I’ve come to resent.

“Lucy!” he calls after me again.

“Why am I even here?” I say, reaching the vending machine to buy a drink to cool me down. “What do I do now?”

“You stay a few nights with me and leave a free woman. I’m not holding you here.”

“Yes you are!”

“No, I’m not, Luce. You can go when you please.”

“You begged for me to come with you.”

“I know. I know I did. Let’s not make a scene here. Please come back in the room. We can figure this out.”

An older couple sharing a cigarette beside the run-down pool look up at us.

“Lucy,” he insists.

“I don’t care what these people think. Why the fuck should I care? That sign’s right. This is fucking death-row and I don’t want to be back here with you being sentenced to it.”

He shoos me away and walks back to the room. “I’m not indulging you here.”

“Indulge me in what exactly?” I follow him, craving an argument I know usually comes with Todd. I’m searching for some kind of sick relief that comes through yelling. Landon doesn’t let in.

“Indulge you in an argument, Luce. I’m happy to talk with you,” he says. “But I’d rather wait until you’ve slept. We’re both exhausted.”

We enter into the room again.

“Tell me what your plan is from here on out. And where exactly do I fit into it?”

“If you lower your voice, I will.”.

“Asshole!”

“Hey, where the hell did that come from? You’ve been off ever since we hit town…”

“Maybe I just think this is a mistake… I shouldn’t have come here… I—I’m going for a walk.”

“I’d rather you didn’t.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t want you walking away when I know you’re still upset. Let’s talk this out a little bit.”

“Talk what out? I came with you, just like you wanted… Why couldn’t we have just stayed back at my place?”

“Tell me exactly what’s wrong. Let’s solve it,”

I forgot how patient this boy is with people he cares for. Still, I press on wanting to find a button of his. I take a pillow and toss it at his chest, fed up with these vague words that are becoming meaningless. He laughs slightly then picks it up and launches it back at me knocking me onto my ass on the mattress.

“Oh, shit! Lucy, I didn’t mean to throw it so hard.” I’m cradled up in his arms, trying to hold back laughter too. For the first time since we hit Jethrow, I feel… Better…

“Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine, Princess. It was a pillow, not a missile.”

He stands back up, hands in the air and backs away from me. I raise a pillow of my own high above my head and launch it towards him this time, but Landon makes a reactive side step to dodge it.

Thud! Csssh!

The small TV topples off it’s stand and onto the floor, cracking the screen.

“Shit!” I say cupping my hands over my mouth. Landon snickers then looks back at me. His goofy grin makes me laugh too.

“I ain’t paying for that. Bluey gave me money but…Not that much.”

“It’s your fault. You dodged it!”

Landon squints at me then stomps towards me with a jokingly stern look on his face. I squirm and giggle as he gets closer to me. I jump from the bed, running away from him as quickly as possible until he’s under my arm, throwing me over his shoulder. His muscles aren’t merely for looks — He’s tough and manages to lift me up with ease.

“Let me go,” I laugh and pound on his back.

“Nope. I’m sick of this. Over the balcony, you go, Palermo. You’re a liability. Now we can’t watch Wheel of Fortune tonight. You know I love Wheel of Fortune.”

He keeps playing while I’m left breathless and silent over what I just heard. I go limp and docile over his shoulder, letting his strength hold me.

“Lucy? You all good?”

As he goes to set me my feet back down on the floor, I try find words.

“What’d you say just now?” I ask. I know what I heard.

“I’m just joking about the TV, Luce. It’s alright. Damn thing probably didn’t work anyway.”

“No, before that.”

“I don’t know, darlin’. I was just playin’ around. I can’t remember.”

He said Palermo, clear as day. Palermo as in Lucy Palermo… The real me. The name he used to call me when he pretended to be mad at me. My own name. Landon remembers. My Landon’s in there, closer than I thought. Some part of him knows who I am!

“Lucy, you’re scaring me a bit here… If you really don’t want to be here I’m sure I can get you a bus back to California.”

“I’m fine,” I reply, staring at his eyes and hoping for another glint of recognition. “I’ll stay.”

“I think I might be winning you over,” he says, giving me a cocky smile.

“Don’t be arrogant.”

“I’m not arrogant… I just know what I want, and I know how to get it.”

Landon moves quicker than his injuries should have allowed. I found myself tackled onto the bed, twisting and landing on top of him, my breasts pressed into the hard granite of his chest.

And beneath me, I could feel something even harder than granite pressing against my thigh.

“Landon,” I murmur, and his name on my lips was like a prayer of thanksgiving.

“There’s my Lucy,” he grins and moves his lips to cover mine.

I kiss him back with everything I have, the years of pent up passion continue to pour into my frenzied and frantic movements. Our tongues meet and mingle once more, sparring for dominance as I let my hands wander down the body I had missed for so damn long. Lower and lower I touch, seeking, probing and stroking until my fist closes around the upright evidence of his desire beneath his jeans.

He brakes away from the kiss. “God damn, Lucy… You don’t know what you do to me…”

My hand begins to move of its own accord. “Maybe I do,” I murmur against the hollow of this throat. His skin under my lips is warm and practically pulsing with life. I lick my lips and they come away salty and sweet, so I kiss his throat again, sliding my tongue ever downward, tasting, licking and teasing until I reach the edge of his jeans.

Memories of our times before life pulled us apart filled my mind. Maybe if I could remind him… If I could show him what it was like.

I planned on teasing him into a frenzy, but all those plans went out the window the minute I pulled his jeans south and his cock bobbed free.

I gasp out loud to see Landon’s cock up close. The perfection I remembered was nothing compared to the work of art in front of me. "Oh my god, Landon,” I murmur.

"You like it?"

I close my fist around the long, elegant shaft, and it fits perfectly in my grip, heavy and smooth at the same time. I move my head over the tip before flicking my tongue outward.

“Fuck,” Landon grunts, letting his head fall back on the pillow.

"Are you sure you know how to get what you want?” I ask, darting my tongue around the tip in quick, rapid-fire swirls.

Landon laces his fingers through my hair, pain blooming across my scalp as he takes control. I gasp as he lines up my mouth, pressing his hips upward.

It had been so long since I’d let him use me like this. Maybe he didn’t remember me, but his body knew what to do. My lips close tightly around his shaft as he drives his cock deep.

He grunts and lets out a low, animal moan that inflames me with desire so delicious that my toes curl. Emboldened by his appreciative moans, I begin working his cock in earnest with my tongue, giving myself up to his control as he guides my movements. I am laving the entire shaft, inhaling deeply and taking the entire massive length of him deeper with every motion. His cock pulses with desire, the head hitting the back of my throat as he surges upward, willing me to take him in, to take all of him and swallow every last inch just the way he likes… The way the Landon I knew couldn’t get enough of.

I open my throat and slide back down the shaft again, taking him in right to the hilt as he gasps in shock. I like this. I like surprising him with my skill. He slows down, pulling my mouth back to the tip, his body straining against the orgasm that I knew was coming soon. The edges of my lips curl upward as I catch his eyes with my own. I moan, sending vibrations down the shaft, trying desperately to bring him over the edge… This is my little payback for every day I’d spent missing him.

Landon lifts his hands and releases my hair, threading fingertips through the wild strands and letting them fall about my head like water. He is giving me control, and I am ready to take it. I begin moving in earnest, stroking the shaft up and down with my hand while I swirl my tongue in wild circles along the veins and ridges.

Landon is moving his hips. This has become more than a blowjob. He is fucking my mouth with wild abandon and it’s a struggle to keep up. Somehow, my free hand has found its way down between my thighs, and I am lost in pleasure and desire. I am so sure he is about to cum, and I prepare myself to swallow whatever he has to offer.

To my shock he grabs a fistful of my hair and yanks my head upward. "Not yet," he growls, both to me and seemingly to himself.

"You don't want to finish?"

His eyes are dark with desires. "I know what I want,” he growls, and there is an authority in his voice that I desperately missed. He commands respect but makes me want to do what he says…

"Take off your clothes…”

Slowly, entranced by his gaze as it raked over my body, I strip down. Goosebumps raise across my body as the chill air hits my naked skin.

“I’ll never get tired of seeing you like this,” he declares, reaching out for me. "Come here… Kneel over me."

As if in a trance, I climb back onto the bed and swing my leg over his hips, but he stops me.

“Not there… A little higher,” he urges, snaking his hands around my ass and lifting me up to his shoulders.

"Wait, what….oh!" His tongue meets my center and I felt the sudden downward rush as my pussy floods in greeting. He laps up the wetness with relish while I squeeze my eyes tight, concentrating on the sensations. His swirling tongue darts in and out of my pussy, probing the delicate folds of my lips, and then moves upward where it finds the buzzing hot need of my clit.

“Oh God! Landon!” I cry as he finds that magical spot. He grips my ass tighter, pulling me down so that I am riding his face, my hips grinding in ecstasy as the rapid-fire pulse of his tongue against my nub sends shockwaves of pleasure radiating outward. I feel the liquid heat pour into my veins, spreading outward as my blood pumps hot as lava threatening to erupt. The pressure inside of me builds and builds, impossible to contain. I reach out and press my palms flat against the wall, swirling my hips on Landon’s face, riding his tongue to a crashing, punishing orgasm that sends me flying over the edge. I scream out his name as my whole body goes taut, my toes splayed, my thighs clenched, fearing that I might float away into space. Landon continues his relentless thrusts. I barely recovered from the first orgasm when the second tears a low groan from my throat. I reach down and clutch his head, pressing him up into the scalding hot center of my need, forcing him to stay exactly where I want him as I ride the wave of pleasure to a shuddering, shivering halt.

Landon looks up at me, grinning wetly, his stubble shiny with my juices. “I might not remember shit, but I’m pretty sure that was the goddamned sexiest thing I have ever seen.”

"Oh God, I'm exhausted," I gasp, sagging against the wall.

"Hell no you aren't, sweetheart.”

He grasps me around the waist, lifting me as if I were weightless.

"I'm not done with you yet."

He is pressing me ever downward. Closer and closer to that rigid, upright, almost impossibly large cock, the taste of which still sings on my mouth. I help angle my hips over him, and he presses his cock frantically upward, seeking my tight opening with a single-minded determination.

"Wait, Landon…” I hesitate.

“Lucy, for God's sake, have mercy on me," he groans.

“Are you sure? Are you sure you want this?”

"I want all of this,” he growls, thrusting his hips upward in once smooth motion. “All of you.”

I cry out to find myself suddenly impaled, Landon’s huge cock surging upward inside of me, filling me completely and stretching me wide. I gasp as his hands clutch at my ass, moving me up and down on the long shaft, forcing me to move even as the shock of his powerful entry rolls waves of pleasure through my body.

"You like that?" he rumbles, fucking me harder.

“YES,” I moan. The feeling of Landon inside of me was heaven. He touched every secret place of me that had been yearning to be touched. The places long forgotten ever since the day I’d driven away. My nerve endings went into overdrive and I began to ride him in earnest, a slave to my desire.

A slave to his…

"Yes you do, you do like this." His voice was low and husky and far dirtier than I had remembered. What he was saying, what we were doing, the lies I’d told him… It was all so wrong but there was no way in hell I could ever stop this. I looked down to where his cock was slamming into me, spreading my pussy lips wide as he fucked me upward, the rhythmic slap of skin on skin the only noise besides our mutual gasps and groans.

"Kiss me!" I cry as I fall forward, grinding my clit frantically into his pubic bone as he pounded into me from below as relentless and powerful as a jackhammer.

Landon growls and slams his lips into mine, parting my teeth with his insistent tongue. Each pounding thrust of his cock makes me cry out into his mouth as he devoured me with his lips and tongue. He moves his mouth downward, curling his tongue around the tender peak of my breast, drawing the tight puckered bead upward into his teeth, nibbling, teasing and suckling before biting down.

The sudden pain blends into the intense pressure from his punishing cock and sends me whirling over the edge into another screaming orgasm. From somewhere far outside myself, I heard his own guttering cry and felt his cock twitch inside of me, but I was too far-gone to react. With a sudden surge upward, I feel him finish inside me, his hot cum filling me as we come together in ecstasy, the culmination of all our pent-up feelings finally breaking free.

When the storm finally passes, I fall forward, burying my face into that soft space where his neck meets his shoulder just the way I’d always loved.

We stay there together, wrapped in the comfort of this ineffable bond we’ve always shared.

The world turns around us.