“Wanna slow it down?” I’m panting as I fail to put one step in front of the other on the stoney trail. My body still aches from the accident and I’m not ready for this kind of movement. I’m ten-feet behind Lucy and her pretty little swaying ass is the only thing keeping me going at this point. We took a left off the main hiking trail about twenty minutes back. Now Lucy’s leading us over dead trunks and dense foliage. “Sorry, I’m used to doing this alone. We’re not far.”

“How about I take the lead for a bit, huh?”

She flashes a big toothy grin at me and presents her hand to let me pass. “What’s the matter, can’t keep up with a girl?”

She gives me a condescending back pat.

“I’m keepin’ up just fine, sweetheart. Plus, I’m doing this one handed.”

“You want to take it out the sling for a bit? Here.”

After she’s helped me free my arm after days being wrapped up, I’m given a small glimpse of relief. I stretch it out and it feels good. I won’t be deadlifting my bodyweight anytime soon, but I could probably throw a decent punch if I had to.

“Hope my ass won’t be too much of a distraction for you,” I say, stepping out in front of her.

“I’ll try have some decorum. Those torn up jeans really emphasize those shapely glutes and thighs, though. Can you blame a gal for staring?”

I flip her the bird with a half-smile. Lucy had dug this pair of jeans out of the depths of her closet— The only item she could find that almost fit me. They probably belonged to some old boyfriend.

Maybe they belonged to her Landon.

I shook the thought out of my head. Further down the trail, I can see the redwoods lead off a cliff.

“We’re almost there,” Lucy says and points to a pile of boulders in the distance.

“We climb over those, climb down a small hill and we’ve arrived.”

From the looks of things, the hill she’s leading us to is anything but small.

I troop onward, picking up my pace. I don’t dare tell the girl about the incessant throbbing in my temples. I’m ignoring the pain, figuring it’ll cure itself eventually. Have I got a death wish? Head traumas are serious but every time I even consider checking into a hospital, I freeze. It’s like I know that going to the hospital will be the last thing little bit of freedom I’ll ever experience… I squeeze my fingers into my head to try force back the pain once more.

The boulders are now directly in front of us. I scale them slowly, turning round to extend my good hand to Lucy to help her out. She rests her touch in mine so I can lift her up. We catch each other’s eyes and make a smile that’s full of things unsaid.

Like how we both want to fuck each other.

I got that fucking ring on with Mia’s name on it, but I feel nothing when I try to remember her. Maybe worse than nothing… Disgust? Anger?

I can’t shake the feeling that Mia is one of the reasons I came to this town in the first place… Like I was running away from more than just the club.

“Wait,” Lucy says just as I’m about to start scaling down the hill in front of us. “Never one to stop and admire the view, are you?” She cocks her hip. I study her body, running my eyes over her curves. With a snap of her fingers, she draws me back to her face. “I don’t mean this view. I mean that one.”

I follow her pointed finger. The sun is high and the clouds have fully evaporated to become only a small mist strewn across the sky. I take it all in. It’s fucking breathtaking— From the dark blue of the still ocean to the rolling hills to the desert-like tundra and scattered trees. For a minute, the stress over my situation dissipates. I’m awash with a calm I don’t wanna let go of. I want to kiss Lucy. I want to stay here a while.

“Alright, I can maybe get why you live here.”

“Beautiful, right? Nothing matters up here. I can stop time, pretend worries and the real world don’t exist. I’ve never seen another soul take this route the six years I’ve lived here.” Lucy grabs the collar of my tank top and pulls me in a little closer to her. “So I better not catch you telling anyone about this place.”

She giggles as I lift my hands in joking defeat. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Careful down here, okay? The ground is slippery.”

She eases herself over the side of the cliff, carefully watching her footing along the ledge below. I follow after her, moving with a bit more confidence despite the slick rock. I think I’ve got the hang of it until about twenty feet down, I crane my neck to see the waterfall and my foot rolls on a large stone. I tumble forward, the powdered rocks beneath me not giving me any hold. I moan out as I tumble down the last few feet.

I land on top of her when we reach the bottom. “Ow, shit!” she whines from below. I look down at her, cradling her head in my hand to lift her up and stroke her hair from her cheek.

“Shit! Lucy! Are you hurt?”

She stares up at me with a worried brow until she squints her eyes and starts laughing up to me.

My apologies turn to laughs of my own. I realize my hand hasn’t left her face.

What am I fucking doing?

And why isn’t she shooing me off her?

After a moment of selfish indulgence, Lucy clears her throat.

“No offense but you make a better human than a blanket.”

She gives me a little shove and I roll away, watching as she gets to her feet and pats off some of the dust.

“Well, that was a shortcut. How’s your arm?”

“Still in one piece.”

She spins around and walks with more pep in her step and sway in her hips. I lift myself up and follow her over grey and tanned rocks until we reach a small pool with a waterfall booming into it.

“Welcome to Lucy Falls,” she yells back to me as she removes her clothing revealing that stunning, soft, and curvy body barely hidden under her tight black swimsuit.

“You just gonna stare, or are you gonna join me?”

There’s no way I’m not taking up the opportunity to get wet with this gorgeous human being. I wait until Lucy has dived in and lifted her head back out of the water. Only then do I peel off my shirt.

Lucy panders to my little strip-show with a closed smile. When I catch her staring she dips back under the water.

Lord, give me strength.

There’s shade from the redwoods that dapples sunlight over the dark green of the water. I stand at the edge of the pool on a larger stone and look up to the waterfall. Am I sixteen again? Because all I want to do is climb up there and jump.

Why not?

With Lucy submerged under the crystal water, I make a move around the side of the rock-face, doing my best to scale it.

While being careful not to hold any moss-covered rocks, I make my way up to a cave half-hidden behind the waterfall’s stream. Something about it seems inviting and new, and with my arm aching I can’t resist sitting in it for a while. It seems a safe place — A place where I can be with whatever thoughts and memories I have left. I’m able to fit inside, the waterfall giving me some security for contemplation. The ambient gush of the water roars before me.

What the fuck am I doing out here?

I think of Mia again.

Is she looking for me?

Where does she think I’ve gone?

The same feelings of anger and disgust start to well up inside. Memories flash by like ghosts. There’s some kind of deal… Some kind of necessity…

I reach out to get a handful of water that I splash onto my face. It’s freezing. So freezing in fact it offers relief to this relentless migraine.

“Hey, you!” I turn my head to see a very wet Lucy holding onto the side of the rock and crouching into the cave. “Can I join?”

“Get in here.”

I offer out an open arm for her to tuck into. “I’ve been to this waterfall that many times,” she yells over the roaring, “and I’ve never been up here…”

The space is so small she has to squeeze right up against me. I have to hold back another urge to kiss her.

“Why haven’t you?”

She brings her knees up to her chin and hugs them tightly. “Safety… You’re the first person I’ve ever brought here. I just didn’t wanna slip when I was alone. Wouldn’t be the best way to go, being leech food.”

“No, you’re right. I’m glad I’m your first.”

“Oh my God!” she yells, her voice echoing. Her arms extend triumphantly, her face beaming with happiness.

“Ha! What are you so excited about?”

“Just this. I can’t get over it. This is amazing. I could live in here. Something about the loud sound, the chill. Chaotic serenity, right?”

“It’s a bit tight for my liking. I guess you’re used to small living spaces, though, right?”

“Hey, my studio is perfect. You shut your mouth. There’s something about the simplicity of having a small place that calms me. That and little belongings.”

“A minimalist, huh?”

“I guess, yeah… Makes it easier to move on. I can put my whole life in a car and be gone tomorrow…”

“Why would you need to do that?” I ask.

Even bathed in the roar of the waterfall, her silence is deafening.

“You know… You’re growing on me, Lucy,” I finally say, breaking the tension.

“Why?” she laughs nervously, tucking her head into her forearms.

“You’re not as innocent as I thought you were.”

“I’m really not,” she says with a smile and a blush.

“I’m embarrassing you.”

“No…”

“Darlin’, I gotta know your whole story.” She giggles nervously back at me again. “Where you’re from, who you are, who’s hurt you, who you loved, your boyfriend, where you’re headed…You…You fascinate me.”

She pushes her damp hair back and sighs. “It’s boring, Landon.”

“Well, bore me then. I’m in the mood for boring.”

“I’m from San Francisco,” she starts. “I don’t speak to my parents… No boyfriend…It—It’s a little confusing. I like painting, hiking, and swimming and Babeen, Todd and Billie are the only people in my life.”

What she says is surface level. It’s been well-rehearsed. My gut tells me this girl has been through hell. Maybe some abuse in the family or something like that. Whatever it is, any thought that someone could hurt her makes my fists clench. All I can think of is the girl in the painting back in her room.

“That’s it,” she shrugs.

“That’s not it, Lucy.”

“What do you mean?” she says a little more concerned now. “That’s…it.”

“There’s more to the story, but I’m not going to make you tell it if you don’t want to.”

“I’m boring, Landon. I told you. Any pivotal life events of mine are painfully basic and predictable.”

“Such as?”

“Uhh, such as…Like…” Lucy searches for a believable answer. “I dropped out of high school in my junior year. I have a tattoo on my ankle of the Chinese symbols for fried rice. I’ve never really had any close friends.”

“Sweetheart, you gotta sell it to me better than that if you want me to believe you.”

“I’m not a liar.”

“I’m unconvinced, Lucy.”

“Landon.” Her tone turns serious. I put up my guard too.

“What, you think I’m slow? Maybe I hit my damn head but I can still read people.”

She doesn’t respond. Before I can say another word she’s leapt through the heavy blast of waterfall and dived into the pool below.

“It’s rude to ditch a conversation!” I shout down to her.

“Come on, pussy! Jump!”

I tilt down to see how far the fall is. Adrenaline grips me but I crouch and prepare to dive. Lucy’s distorted figure appears through the stream. “Move away!” I yell down to her.

And then, I jump.

The cold nearly makes me gasp as I hit the water. I can feel it penetrating my wounds, flaring up pain from my accident, turning my head into an ice cube. I use my legs to kick myself to the surface and I let out a shout.

“Holy fuck!” I shout over the deep hiss of the waterfall pounding the surface behind me.

“Toughen up, Princess.”

Lucy is treading water a few feet to my left. Her lips look to be turning purple but she’s hiding any indication it’s bothering her.

“Why is this fun for you?”

“It’s refreshing. It’s good for the muscles.”

“No, it’s the damn arctic in here!”

I swim toward her until we’re face-to-face. We’re both breathing heavy, our lips so close. She definitely looks down to my mouth then coyly looks away to the shore. She wants to kiss me as much as I do her.

“You’re fucking crazy, you know that?”

“You’re right,” Lucy breathes, hesitating. “It is cold. I’m gonna head out.”

She swims to the shore then takes a towel out of her backpack. As she dries herself, she watches me playing around while I think. I don’t know what I’m thinking about specifically— The thoughts are flying by way too quickly to make any sense. I’m thinking of when I should leave this place. I’m thinking of the accident. I’m thinking of the cops, or the permanent brain damage I could be causing myself by not going to the hospital. I’m thinking about my ride that’s now in pieces still sitting in a fucking ditch outside town, and I’m thinking of the time it’s going to take to fix it.

And then I’m right back thinking of Lucy again.

“Landon!” Lucy shouts from the shore.

I spin around to see her pointing at me. “Yeah?”

“Can you come here for a second?”

“Why?”

“Just…Come here for a second. It’s nothing serious.”

I start swimming toward her, curious about what’s to follow.

“You’re a bossy one,” I say as my feet hit the sandy bottom of the shore and I walk out.

“Turn around.”

And that’s when I feel it — The gentle sucking of something attached to my shoulder. My stomach shudders. Lucy sparks a lighter behind me. Then there’s a tugging on my skin and finally the suction relents. A fucking leech?

I exhale, disgusted but I gotta man up. When I turn around, Lucy tosses something back into the water. I cringe. “Why would you throw it back?”

“Uh, because it’s his territory we encroached on. They’re harmless.”

“Guess I should thank you for saving me…Again.”

She drops her head and flicks her nail onto the Swiss Army knife blade she has in her hand. “Just be glad he didn’t decide to latch on to something a bit more sensitive.”

“Jesus, Lucy.”

“Just keep thinking about that when you’re pissed off, cold, and walking back in those wet jeans… So… You want a drink?”

I give her a nod and watch as she pulls a couple of Pabst Blue Ribbons out of her backpack.

“The fresh air helping your head?” she asks, watching me carefully as I open the can.

“Maybe… Things are a bit clearer. I can see faces… Places… And Mia…”

Lucy goes silent again. She looks like she’s holding her damn breath.

“I wasn’t with her,” I say, catching her off guard.

“How do you know?” Lucy asks.

“Every time I think of her, there are feelings… I’m angry. I’m disgusted. I can see her face and all I want to do is forget it again.”

“So maybe you had a fight with your girlfriend,” Lucy says, ribbing me with her elbow.

“It’s not like that… Just… Let’s not talk about Mia right now. How about you? Don’t tell me there’s nobody in your life,” I say, giving her a little cocky smile.

“I guess there’s Todd… He works with me up at the store. Billie has been trying to hook us up for months.”

“You not ready to settle down, continue your basic life as a married woman?”

“I’m only twenty-four. I’m too young for that yet.”

“Twenty-four, huh? You ever had another boyfriend other than, y’know, my namesake?”

Lucy stands up. There’s the satisfying ksshk! of the beer can opening and she takes a big swig before answering. “What’s with the interrogation today?” she says with a more serious tone.

“I’ve just got nothing much to offer in conversation on my end. Besides… You’re interesting.”

“Stop saying that.”

“What?”

“That I’m interesting. I’m not.”

“That’s up to me to decide that.”

She stares out at the water as the sun dips behind some clouds, sending our oasis into a semi-darkness.

“What’s your favorite motorcycle?”

“A vintage silver super glide,” I recall, able to picture its curves and colors. “Sexiest bike I’ve ever seen.”

“You sure?” Lucy replies. “Not…A V-rod fan?”

“More into the classics.”

Lucy, still facing away from me takes another big sip of her beer then starts spluttering.

“Wrong hole?” I ask.

But then her spluttering turns to a soft twitch of her back. She’s crying.

“Everything okay?”

“Always, Landon.”

I stand and approach her but before I can get close she puts down the beer and throws herself back into the water. I wade in after her, my legs screaming in protest at the sharp cool water.

“Thought it was too cold for you, pussy,” she says, trying to disguise her quivering chin. It’s when I look up to her eyes and she’s looking back at me that I can see the tears rolling down her face.

“Lucy?”

She doesn’t swim away. This girl is too fucking trusting, but there’s a part of me that doesn’t know if I should trust myself. I like the girl, sure. She’s endearing. Complex. Breathtaking… But who the hell am I to deserve her?

“Did I say somethin’ wrong?” I say.

“No.”

“Why are you crying?” My finger rests to her chin, legs kicking hard to keep me above water. She drops her gaze to watch her fingertips swirl through the surface of the water.

“Lucy.”

“Landon, I…”

“You what?”

I watch her mouth closely when she drags her teeth over her lower lip. This time, I physically move away back so I don’t do something with her that I’ll regret. There’s a deep part of me that wants to take care of her, but why? Who is this girl and what is she doing to me?

“I have to tell you something,” I husk.

“Tell me what?”

“All I want to do is fucking kiss you, sweetheart.”

“W—We can’t,” she says meekly through her tears. “It’s all messed up now.”

Carelessly, I approach her again, this time unable to stop myself from wrapping my arms around her freezing figure. She buries her face into my chest and returns the embrace by interlacing her hands behind my neck. I squeeze her tighter. I was meant to meet this girl. Fuck knows why. I’m not into mumbo-jumbo shit like that, but being around her… I don’t feel any urge to leave this place. As long as she’s around, I wanna stay and figure her out. To hell with the club I could barely remember. To hell with bikes and bitches. To hell with Mia and whatever the fuck she had done.

What Mia had done…

Feelings flooded back. Betrayal. Sadness.

Anger…

Like an out of body experience I can feel my bike beneath me, the engine roaring as I rode through the night. A few more miles would put me at the scene of the accident where Lucy found me, but at that moment, one feeling stood out among all the others.

Fear.

What the fuck was I running from?

Lucy’s sobs pulled me back out of my own head.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” I say.

Her head shakes.

“When you’re ready to talk… I’m here.”

She mumbles something into my chest and I pull back to look down at her. “What’d you say?”

“Not for long,” she says again so I hear.

“I’m remembering things Lucy. I need to understand what happened with my club…”

“Apparently.”

She lets me go and swims back to shore.

We stay there by the rush of the waterfall for another hour, but we don’t do much talking. The intimate moment in the water is all but forgotten. She’s keeping something from me, but as I watch her bathing in the afternoon sun I realize the truth… I have no right to know what that something is.

Because I’m keeping something from her.

I look down at my hands, my eyes sweeping across my scarred and callused knuckles. My memory might be fucked, but I know exactly what kind of life those broken and battered knuckles represented…

I’ve lived the kind of life a girl like Lucy could never accept.

I know what kind of man I am.