Sariel

The look Willow gives me could kill a weaker man. Lucky for me, I’m not a man, and I can’t die.

“You really need to give us some warning before you barge in here.” Her anger is palpable, and I can actually taste it in the air.

“You didn’t let me feed. I’m weak, just like him. I need you.”

She raises one eyebrow and steps away from me, pulling a blanket around her nude body. “You were strong enough to take over.”

“Only because he’d lost all ability to function. That’s what happens to a man who’s getting sucked off to completion. His brain was on a straight dopamine-induced ride.” As I speak, I button my pants. I can’t get hard for her, not with Selah within my reach.

Her cheeks darken as blood rushes across her skin. How sweet, I’ve embarrassed her. “You were watching?”

“It’s what I do. Watcher, remember?”

“So what you’re saying is that angels are really just a bunch of voyeurs who get off on seeing humans fuck?”

“If it were only that simple.”

She chews on her lip for a moment as she gathers her discarded clothes. “Can Devin see us now?”

I shake my head. “He can’t. I’ve put up a wall between us for now. I need you to do something for me.”

“Why the hell would I do anything for you?”

“Because I can move on without Devin. I can kill him and find another vessel without any issues. You don’t want that.”

Crossing her arms over her chest as she sits, she narrows her eyes and glares. “So? What the fuck can I do for you that will bring Devin back?”

“I need you to agree to let me feed. There is a battle coming, and I have to be ready. You’re the only one. Devin’s body won’t allow me to feed from anyone else.”

“Fine. You feed off sex. What’s stopping you?”

“You.”

She huffs and rolls her eyes. “Um, I’m pretty sure I just rocked Devin’s world not two minutes ago. You should know, you were watching the whole thing.” Under her breath, she mutters, “Creep.”

“No, Willow. That’s not how it works. I can only feed if my host spills his seed inside the woman. Part of my curse is the need to procreate.”

“You’re fucking kidding, right? You want me to willingly let you drain my life force while attempting to knock me up?”

I can’t help but laugh at the incredulity in her voice. “You’re on birth control, right?”

“Yeah. But you’ve got magical angel sperm. I doubt a few hormones will stop your swimmers from conception.”

“If you’re taking precautions, my swimmers have the same chance as any man.”

“Hmm.” She stands, blanket still tucked around her, and pads into her bedroom. A few minutes later, she emerges dressed and frowning. “What happens if you don’t feed?”

“I’ll take from Devin. He’s willful, but I am a higher being. My power eclipses his. If I have to take from Devin in order to defeat our mutual enemy, I will.”

Her gaze darts toward the door, body tensing, ready for an attack. “What enemy?”

“Lucifer is leading an army of my brothers. I don’t think they know they’re puppets or that he’s the one pulling their strings, but that’s beside the point. They think if they storm the gates of Heaven, our Father will let them return. But they’re wrong, Willow. Should they breach the gates, Lucifer will launch a full-scale attack and begin the apocalypse. I’m sure he’s just biding his time until the fallen are strong enough to make their move.”

“Shit,” she breathes.

“They want me, but I’ve made a deal with the archangels. All I want is my soul mate to return to me. I gave up Heaven for her once. I can’t lose her again. If I help, if I fight my brethren and stop them, she is my reward.”

Her eyes are wide as she takes it all in.

Taking her hand, I continue. “I need you to help me. You fed Devin when he’d been weakened. Feed me as well.”

She shakes her head. “I can’t do that to Devin. Sleep with you willingly. I can’t cheat on him.”

“It is him.”

“No. You’re in control. That means you’re who I’d be choosing to sleep with. There’s something bigger between me and Devin. I can’t explain it.”

“I can remove myself from the equation as long as you agree. You’ll have to convince him. The stubborn vampire refuses to do anything that may harm you. I promise, if you allow me to feed, I’ll keep my presence to a minimum, and I won’t intrude on your time together.”

It’s obvious she’s mulling it over.

“And what do I get aside from the orgasms?”

This woman is shrewder than I gave her credit for. “Aren’t orgasms enough?” The look she gives me tells me that was a stupid question. “You have the man your heart wants.”

“For a limited time. Don’t think I forgot your earlier warning. Isn’t there a way around your deal?”

Shaking my head, I frown. “Devin will die if I find a new vessel. It’s that simple. I can’t just choose not to kill him when I leave.”

“I’m not going to live forever. Can’t you let us be together until I’m gone?”

I let my fingers trail across her cheek. “Little one, you’re destined to live out your days for many years to come. If Selah weren’t here, alive and waiting for me, I might have considered doing just that. But this is my one chance to have her. I can’t sacrifice that for the love between you two.”

“Love? Who said anything about love?” The panic in her voice almost makes me laugh. Why humans are afraid of love, I’ll never understand. It’s the most powerful emotion, followed closely by hate.

“Okay. Forget I said that. But, I know she’s my soul mate, and there’s nothing that’s going to keep me from winning her back.”

“So, how long do I have with him?”

“Five months.”

“And you’ll stay out of the way?”

“Unless I’m needed.”

“As long as I let you feed?”

“Correct. But, Willow, he’ll try to fight me when the time comes. You’ll need to convince him there’s nothing worth fighting for.”

She bites her lower lip and nods, not bringing her gaze to meet mine. “Fine.”

Hoping she’ll hold up to her end of the deal, I sit back, close my eyes, and take down the wall I’d thrown between Devin and me. He’s angry, barreling forward, intent on taking back control. With a sigh, I relinquish and fall back to my sequestration.

* * *

Devin

“What did he do? Did he hurt you?” I run my hands over Willow, searching her body for any sign that the fallen asshole had forced her to feed him.

She shakes her head, sadness in her eyes. “He didn’t. We talked.”

“Talked? What the hell about?”

“You didn’t tell me about the other Watchers. That you’re fighting them.”

“I was going to. We got … distracted.” I smirk, knowing it’s the wrong thing to do, but remembering the feel of her riding my cock makes my lips twitch with the need to smile.

A charming blush creeps up her neck as she works to control her own grin. “Fine. But you need to let him feed, or he’s going to have to take from you. Then your body will be weak, and how can you fight? I know a thing or two about combat, remember? I might be small, but I’m a hunter. I’ve killed my fair share of vampires over the years.”

“Willow, you know how he feeds. What if you end up pregnant? What if it weakens you?”

Staring me directly in the eyes, she takes my face in her hands. “It’s a risk I’m willing to take. Sariel says my birth control should work the same as it does for human men. I promised him we wouldn’t deny him.”

The thought of another man inside her makes my stomach churn and my jaw clench. No one else gets to be with her. She’s mine. “Did you use condoms with them?”

“With most of them. I had a long-term boyfriend when I was twenty. We … we were going to get married. I got on the pill, and we stopped using condoms.”

Again with the sick twist in my gut. She’d loved someone who wasn’t me. “Why aren’t you married now?”

Her gaze drops as she pulls away from me. “He died. Six years ago.”

Shit.

“So, when Sariel talks about losing his soul mate and how he’s found her again, I can’t deny him that second chance. I’d give anything for another chance.”

A pain rips through my chest as though she’s staked me. She might as well have, because her words pierce my heart.

“I see.” My words are clipped. I don’t know what else to say at the moment. Clearly, I’m not on the same page with her at all.

“Devin, I don’t mean it like that. It’s just, I lost everything that day. My entire life as I knew it.”

Holding up my hands to stop her, I stand. “I get it. You loved him. You lost the love of your fucking life, and you feel bad for Sariel. You don’t need to spell it out for me.” Jealous fury burns in my chest as I start undoing my pants. “You want to fuck so we can feed him? Fine, take off your damn clothes and let me get it over with so I can get on with my life.”

Resting her fingers on my hands, she looks up at me with tears swimming in her eyes. “Stop it.”

As I shove my pants down my legs, my erection springs forward, and I grab her arms. I pull at her clothes, unable to meet her eyes but still desperate to be inside her. “Take off your clothes, Willow. You need to meet your … obligation to Sariel.”

“Devin,” she says. “I said, stop it.”

I freeze at the anger in her words. Good. I’m glad she’s pissed off. Now we’re a matched pair. I let out a harsh sigh as I pull up my pants and fasten them. I need to get out of here. Running my hand through my hair, I walk away from her.

“Where are you going?”

“I can’t be here. Sariel can fucking starve for all I care.” My fingers are gripping the door handle, but I can’t make myself leave. Fuck. Turning to face her, I force myself not to stalk across the room, unsure of what I’m doing.

She’s flying at me, her eyes blazing with challenge. “You think this is how to handle things? To run away?”

The nerve of her. I’m the one being treated like a fucking dildo. She doesn’t want me for more than a release, and I’m over here like a lovesick fool. She’s making an idiot of me. “I’m not running. I’m leaving. There’s a difference. I made you come, you made me come, now I’m walking out the door. I’ll see you the next time Sariel needs a fix.”

“Ugh, you’re such an asshole!” Her hand sweeps through the air toward my face, but I dodge with an easy sidestep.

“Asshole?” I try to disguise my sadness with arrogance, but my voice betrays me. “You just told me you were going to marry someone else. That you lost your whole life when he died. I’ve only felt that way once in my long-as-fuck existence, and I never thought I’d feel it again. Until now.” My chest fucking aches as the weight of my confession hangs from one precarious thread. “It feels like the beginning of a slow death every time you walk away from me. It’s killing me.”

“Is that supposed to be romantic? I’m killing you, and that means you want to be with me?”

“No. I’m fucking this up. Look, when I woke as a vampire, all I wanted was blood. I was ravenous for a year. I didn’t care. I’d take men or women, no attraction necessary. And then, one day I remembered all the things I’d lost. I remembered the little girl with the curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes who called me Daddy and loved me no matter what. And I wanted someone to live for again. But after all this time, I haven’t been able to find it. And now, I can’t fucking have it.”

Her face changes from defensive to shocked. “You have a daughter?”

My heart splinters. “Had. She died a long time ago.”

“Tell me about her.”

That crack in my heart grows at the thought of remembering Mary. I can’t. “No. I … I’ve spent all this time trying to forget her. She lived her life, had a family, and died. That’s all you need to know.”

“Fine.” She walks away, shoulders tight as she stands in front of the window.

“Willow—” I have to clear my throat before I can get the words out. “I didn’t tell you that to make you feel sorry for me. I said it because I need you to understand.” I clip that thread, and my confession comes crashing down to either kill me or free me. “You’re my something to live for. I’m dying every time you kiss me because you take a piece of my heart with you. I’m falling in love with you, and I can’t stop myself.”

She whirls around, her eyes shining with fear. “No. You can’t. I don’t want you to love me.”

Goddamn this woman. I take three large steps and close the distance between us, gripping her by the waist and pulling her against me. “If I want to love you, I’ll fucking love you.” Crushing my lips to hers, I feel that break in my heart begin to mend as she sighs and kisses me back.

Breaking the kiss, she looks up at me. “Everyone I love dies, Devin.”

I cup her jaw and wipe the tears from her cheeks. “Everyone dies whether you love them or not.”