Present day

Selah

Soft kisses to my forehead wake me. I half expect crazy-pants Guinevere to be trying to put the moves on me, but then I smell him. Sariel is here. He’s touching me.

“Wake up, my love. Please?” The despair in his tone sends an ache through my heart.

Fluttering my lashes, I blink my way toward consciousness. He’s the first thing I see. Thick strands of his wavy, golden hair fall over his closed eyes as he leans over me. The strong jaw that looks like it was cut from marble tenses as he frowns and sighs. My hands are heavy as I lift them to cup his cheeks.

With a harsh gasp, those bright silver irises lock onto mine. The guilt, worry, and fear in them makes everything that happened between us before seem inconsequential. Guinevere showed me things. She unlocked my memories, and I know now, beyond any doubts I may have had, that Sariel’s love for me is true and endless.

“Selah.” He says my name as though it’s a prayer.

Without warning, my chest constricts and a sob sits in my throat. Lips trembling, I fight the tears stinging my eyes. He brushes them away as they slip down my cheeks.

“I thought you were lost…again.” The last word breaks as he speaks, and I swallow past the lump in my throat.

“I’m not.”

Brow knitted, he closes his eyes and sighs in obvious relief. “I love you, and will for my entire existence.”

With careful consideration, I sit up, expecting pain or exhaustion. I find neither. I feel…normal. “What happened?”

“You don’t remember?”

“I remember seeing you with Reese.” Pain flashes across his features, and he begins to speak, but I hold a hand up to stop him. “I know you were trying to help her. I remember giving my blood. And then nothing.”

“I thought you died. You lost so much blood.”

Taking his hand, I thread our fingers together. “Did we stop him? Is Lucifer imprisoned?”

He nods and smiles. “He is. The remaining Watchers have scattered, but now there’s only a handful left.” Guilt fills his eyes. “I had to smite so many of them.”

“Was there another option?”

“No. They became demons as soon as they willingly allied themselves with Lucifer. There are a few who remained ignorant of Lucifer’s part in this plan. At least three who distanced themselves when they realized the truth. Perhaps they can be spared.”

Unable to resist, I trail my free hand through his thick hair, loving the way he leans into my touch. I don’t want to talk, not anymore. I remember him, I remember us, and we’ve got lifetimes to make up for.

“Kiss me, Sariel. Show me how you love me.”

With a groan, he threads his hand in my hair and cups the back of my head before his lips crash against mine. Pressing me down onto the mattress, he fits himself over me. The feel of his tongue sliding into my mouth sends tingles across my sensitive flesh. I need him.

My fingers run over the line of his back until I reach the hem of his shirt. Tugging, at the fabric, I slide it over his skin until he has to remove his lips from mine so he can pull his body free of the shirt. The sight of his beautiful bronzed skin, shadowed by the ridges of his muscles, makes my blood burn for him. I want him to possess every inch of me. My lips blaze a path along his shoulder and down his chest, tongue flicking over his nipple and rending a gasp the moment I bite down. With one palm on the center of his chest, I push him back so I can run my fingers down his abdomen and into the waistband of his pants. He’s hard, the head of his erection peeking out of the top of his jeans. I want to taste him, to lick the bead of moisture from the tip and make him moan my name. Sitting up, I pop the top button on the denim and pull down the zipper. But he pulls away, staring at me with intense longing. Behind that, I see trepidation.

He has to clear his throat before he can speak. “Are you sure?”

“I’m not fragile. Don’t treat me like I am.”

A flare of unchecked lust in his gaze sends a shiver through me. I’m dying for him to put his hands on me and fuck me like he’s trying to prove something. To my dismay, he climbs off the bed and runs his hands through his hair. Why is he denying me now, after everything? I almost go after him, pull him back to me, but he shoves his pants down his hips and steps close to the edge of the bed.

Freeing his shaft, he strokes the considerable length while watching me. “Stand up.”

My belly flips at the rough edge of his tone. I do as he asks, and he closes the distance between us, one hand cradling my head while the other glides between my legs.

“Take off your clothes, Selah. Let me see all of you.” His words are murmurs against my lips, sending shivers of anticipation dancing across my skin.

I want to rush it, to be bared to him and ready to love him, but until all this happened, I was a dancer. Skilled at the art of the tease. I’ve never danced for him. His hands grip the waist of my pants, tugging roughly as he tries to work them down my hips, but I pull away.

“No. Let me.” Pressing my hand to his chest, I walk forward, pushing him back until his legs find the chair in the corner. “Have a seat. This is what you would have seen if you’d let me finish my show.”

“Selah,” he warns.

Shaking my head, I begin moving, slowly lifting my shirt and baring my skin. His eyes are locked on me as I sway and turn. My back to him, I cast a glance over my shoulder and pull the fabric over my head. My bra is sheer and lacy, perfect for something like this. With a teasing smile, I slide one strap over my shoulder until it hangs across my upper arm. Then I do the same to the other. His groan is enough to flood me with intense arousal when I turn and bend at the waist, my ample cleavage on display. I stand upright before I run my hands over my sensitive, lace-covered breasts and throw my head back. Shimmying my pants down my hips, I turn away once more and bend over, giving him a perfect view of my thin panties.

“Baby, you’re so wet. I can see it.”

With one hand behind my back as he watches, I unhook my bra and let it fall to the floor in front of me. My other arm rests over my nipples, hiding them from view. As I turn around and let my hand fall from my breasts, the flare of need in his eyes makes me bite my bottom lip.

“Selah, if you don’t finish this soon, I’m going to come over there and do it for you.”

I can’t contain my soft chuckle at the rasp of need in his voice. “Better a patient person than a warrior.”

“Now is not the time to test my knowledge of Proverbs.”

“I find them useful in my daily life. Maybe you could learn some—” My words are cut off by his mouth on mine. He’s so fast, so strong. His hand slides down my back until he cups my ass and squeezes. A moan falls from my lips at his touch. I know I’m wet for him, ready and willing. In one smooth move, he’s laid me back on the bed and hooked his thumbs in the scrap of cloth covering me. With one sharp tug, the fabric is gone and I’m completely at his mercy.

“How have I not tasted you yet?”

Anticipation coils in my belly. Heated gaze never leaving mine, he kneels and parts my thighs. He can taste me all he wants. Unbelievable pleasure races through me as his lips close over my clit and he begins kissing the tender flesh. Two fingers slide inside as he licks and sucks, the occasional graze of teeth making my back bow and soft cries fall uncontrolled from me. The orgasm builds unexpectedly, starting as a soft glimmer of possibility and detonating with a well-timed flick of his tongue.

Hands delving into his hair, I pull hard enough to make him grunt against my skin as I cry his name. I can’t take any more, and he must understand, because he backs away, standing and running a hand through his mussed hair, his lips glistening with my arousal.

“Your turn,” I whisper. Getting to my knees, I lean forward and wait, needing this. The blunt head of his cock spreads my lips even wider than I’d already positioned them. I’m rewarded with a shudder and groan from the man who owns my heart as I run my tongue along the sensitive skin at his tip. Sucking hard, I let my teeth graze him before I grip his firm ass and take him as far as I can.

“Oh fuck, baby. Your mouth—” he starts, but when I begin to hum low in my throat, his words are cut off by a groan.

His hands cup the back of my head as he begins thrusting slowly while I take him deeper. My eyes water from fighting the tap of his dick against the back of my throat, but I keep going, needing him to spend himself in my mouth. His length stiffens even further, the pulsing throb against my tongue letting me know he’s close. He moves to pull out, but I dig my nails into his ass and suck harder.

“Selah, I can’t… I’ll come if you don’t stop.”

As I continue to slide over his length with my lips, my hand drifts between his legs to cup his heavy balls. They’re tight and ready, and seconds after I start stroking them, he cries out and my mouth is flooded with his release.

Pulling out, he drops to his knees and cradles me against his chest. His heart pounds hard enough for me to feel the rhythm against my own rib cage.

“Sariel…I need to tell you something.”

He doesn’t release me from his hold; instead, he drops his chin into the crook of my neck.

“I remember,” I say.

That gets him to pull back and stare into my eyes. “What?”

“Every minute of our past. I remember it all. I remember how I love you, that I want a life with you, damn the consequences.”

“You…remember?” There’s awe in his expression, and relief.

“Everything.” I grab his hand and run it down my body, resting his palm over my belly. “And—”

“It’s mine,” he states, surprising me.

“How did you know?”

“The witches. I thought it wasn’t possible, but my grace was restored every time I used my power.”

His dark expression makes my heart sink. “Why don’t you seem happy about this?”

“It’s not that. I just…I can’t stay. No matter how much I want to.” He gets to his feet and turns away, head bowed.

“What? Why? We shut down Lucifer, stopped the fallen. Why can’t you be happy?”

My eyes go wide as light surrounds him and bright white wings with silver tipped feathers burst from his back where his tattoo used to be. He’s not mine anymore. Sariel isn’t even a fallen angel anymore. “You’re…beautiful.”

Standing, I reach out and run my fingers over the thick feathers. He shudders and sighs, as I trace them.

“They’re sensitive?” I ask.

“Yes. I haven’t had them for thousands of years. It’s…strange.”

I slide over the crest at the top of one wing, the muscle and bone heavy and powerful. His breaths come in harsh gasps as I explore his new wings.

“Why can’t you stay, Sariel?”

He stiffens and retracts the beautiful wings before turning around. They disappear as though they never existed. “I’m going back. Home. I can’t risk you paying the price for my selfishness again.”

“But…you’re fallen.”

He shakes his head. “I won’t be tomorrow. My brothers are coming for me in exchange for your safety. I’ll never be an archangel again, but I’ll return to my Father’s service.”

My heart turns to ice. “What will you do?”

Shrugging, he pulls his shirt over his head and covers all that glorious skin. “Watch. But, Selah, I’ll never be far from you. I’ll always watch over you and our child. I just…won’t be able to do it in the way I’d most like to.”

I know there’s nothing I can say to change our circumstance. He’s made up his mind, taken a deal for me. Pulling him close, I press a kiss over his heart, and hold on for dear life.

His name falls from my lips, a soft murmur into his chest, and he holds me tighter as I begin to speak. “If this is my last night with you, leave me with more than this. Make love to me. Let me spend the night in your arms. Love me like we’ve got forever.”

* * *

Selah

My heart hurts. It aches as though half of it has been removed. It’s been two weeks since Sariel left. If I can’t take fourteen days without him, how am I going to survive a lifetime? Every night, whether I want to or not, I relive moments of our past and present. The first time we met under the cover of the pistachio tree dovetails to our encounter under the trees at Green Lake. The night we were married. The first time he kissed me. I’d give anything to feel him near me now.

Rosie nudges me with her elbow as we walk side by side along the very path I’d seen Sariel’s shirtless form from the first time we’d spoken. “I think you need to tell me what the hell is going on with you.”

Where do I even start? I’m pregnant with the child of a fallen angel who isn’t fallen anymore. He’s my soul mate, but he left me to keep me alive.

“Nothing.”

“That’s a bunch of crap,” she says. “You’re heartbroken. I know that look. I’ve worn it more than once.”

“He’s not coming back, Rosie. He’s gone. I’m going to have to do this all alone.”

“Do what?”

It’s then I realize I never told her about the baby. With everything that had happened, how could I tell her?

“I’m pregnant,” I say simply. I wait for her wince, or a gasp, but neither comes.

“Congratulations?” It comes out a question, as though she’s putting out feelers to see what the correct response is.

I nod and smile. “Thanks.”

“Adam?”

His name sends a wave of disgust mixed with guilt rolling through me. What happened to Adam wasn’t his fault. It was mine.

“No.”

She cocks an eyebrow. “Hottie with the angel’s face and those sexy eyes?”

The reference to Sariel looking like an angel brings a smile to my lips. If she only knew.

“Yes. His name is Sariel.”

“And the asshole left you? He knocked you up and left? Clearly, he doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

I shake my head, not wanting her to think badly of him. “No, you don’t understand. He didn’t want to go. It wasn’t his choice.” Technically, that’s not true. He did choose to leave me.

Her eyes go wide. “You mean…shit, he’s not in prison, is he?”

I almost laugh out loud. “No. Nothing like that. He was…called…” I trail off, not knowing how to finish this.

“Holy shit, he’s a priest?” Her face is all scandal and amusement. “You fucked a priest, and he knocked you up. That’s amazing.”

I stay silent. I don’t know what else to tell her. Sure, he’s a man of God…kind of.

“Does he know you’re pregnant? Is it a secret baby?” She grabs my hands. “Oh, honey, don’t worry. I’ll be here for you. You don’t need him, and you won’t have to do this alone.”

I let her pull me in for a hug. I’m going to need help, and she’s my closest friend. What’s the harm in letting her think there’s some scandal here?

“Thanks, Rosie.”

“So, how far along are you? Have you been to the doctor yet? Remember, I’ve done this before—twice.”

Her questions are overwhelming. I barely survived locking Lucifer in a cage and losing my soul mate. “I’ve been…busy. I haven’t gotten around to that.”

“What about a job? Since you left the club for greener pastures, I’m assuming you found something else?”

“He, uh, he left me taken care of.”

“A rich, hot priest with a body like a Michelangelo statue. What a damn waste.”

Jealousy burns in my gut. How would she know what his body looked like? “You’ve never seen his body.”

Laughing, she hisses like a cat and shakes her head.

She hooks her arm with mine as we continue our walk. I feel better, if only a small amount, and for the first time since this all started, there’s hope for the future. As soon as we hit the parking lot, that painful tug at my heart returns. Rosie is right, I can do this without Sariel. I just don’t want to.