Present day, Seattle

Sariel

Fuck, my whole body is on fire. A restless ache makes me shift back and forth on the bed. The rough, wool blanket brushes against my naked skin. Blinking heavy eyes, I try to focus on my surroundings. Nothing is familiar and yet, everything is. I’ve been in this room before. I spent the best days of my life here. My vision blurs as a wave of pain starts in my side and crests, flowing over me.

“Selah,” I croak. My throat is dry and burning with thirst.

“Hush, my love. I’m here.” Her soothing voice coats me, a healing balm on overheated skin. “Don’t try to move. You’ve been badly injured.”

Her long hair brushes my bare chest, sending tingles through me. But, her hair shouldn’t be long. She’d cut it only a day earlier. Opening my eyes again, I zero in on her. She’s as beautiful as always, her large, gray eyes staring straight to my soul, but this woman isn’t the same. This isn’t the fiery, creature who’d cut her hair just to spite me. This is the Selah I lost.

“How is this…” I trail off before I can finish. Did my body die? Has He seen fit to give me back the life I’d given up everything for?

“You need to feed, Sariel. You’re weak. Let me give you what you need.” Her cool hand slides across my burning chest, avoiding the wound on my side as she travels down.

My breath hitches as her fingers delve under the blanket and wrap around my cock. I let out a strangled sound, something between a groan and a yell, as she moves over my sensitive skin. Her beautiful eyes lock with mine, and gut-wrenching guilt washes over me.

“No. I can’t do this to her. She won’t understand.”

“What are you talking about?”

“She’s not you. You…you’re dead.” I must be delirious, because she frowns as though she doesn’t understand my reaction.

Then, the world around us melts away, bringing me back to my own bed, my Selah next to me.

“I’m not dead, Sariel. I’m right here, let me help you.”

She leans down, brushes her lips to mine, and an ache takes hold in my heart. I can’t let her do this. If she does, I’ll hurt her, I’ll lose the last bit of humanity I have, and I’ll lose her all over again. Then Lucifer’s words replay in my head, and I realize the truth. I’ve already lost her. I can’t keep her safe if I’m weakened and dying. I have to do this—let her feed me.

Giving in, I open to her kiss, filling her mouth with my moans, my tongue, my desire. My carefully constructed barrier between the urge to take her and the need to keep her safe falls. Unchecked lust roars to the surface, making my already hard cock stiffen painfully. She feels it too. I can tell by her soft little moans, the tight buds of her nipples as they press against the thin fabric of her shirt, and the heady scent of her arousal.

“What is happening?” she whispers. She’s never experienced the intensity of my curse. I’ve always held back. But now that I’ve let go, neither of us can deny our need.

“I’ve been keeping it contained, but this is my true nature. I was cursed to feed from sex. My devotion to you has been tested year after year. I forced myself to go dormant for centuries, hoping I’d find you.”

“So…you’ve been starving yourself all this time?”

“Until Galen found Reese…yes.”

A dark look crosses her features at the mention of Reese. “I don’t want to know about that.” She pulls her shirt over her head, revealing those perfect breasts of hers. “I want to help you get better.”

Shimmying out of her panties, she pulls back the sheet and crawls on top of me, her movements measured and careful. I can barely stand it. All I want is to drive myself inside her and take what she’s offering. But my body won’t allow me to do much more than watch as she settles over me.

“I need you to take me into you, Selah,” I groan. “Now.”

Biting her plump bottom lip, she grasps my aching erection and hovers over me. When her heat envelops my straining length, I let out a harsh sigh and arch my back. “Fuck, baby. You feel so right.”

She lets out soft noises of pleasure as she rides me, her tits bouncing enticingly, eyes closed, head thrown back. I need more of her. I want to feel her everywhere.

“Selah, it’s only you. Only this. I’ll never love anyone the way I love you. No matter what happens.”

Her eyes open, and she stills, training her gaze on me. “That sounds very…final.”

Pulling together every ounce of strength I have, I grip her hips, slide my hands up the line of her back, and make her come to me. Her full breasts press against my chest, lips an inch away from mine as she rocks her hips forward and back. I can feel her heart pounding against my body as I hold her tight. Closing the distance between our mouths, I kiss her deep as I try to pour everything I feel for her into the one action. This kiss is the single most intimate moment we could share. A kiss holds all the passion, tension, need, and love between two people. It’s why marriages are sealed this way. As I mold my lips to hers, I give myself, body and soul to her.

It’s with this kiss that I realize she may not be mine, but there’s no doubt in my mind of the truth.

I am hers.

Pleasure crashes over me in rough waves of desire, but I need to tell her. I need her to know. Stilling her hips, I cup her face in my hands and break our kiss. “We can’t know what’s going to happen. I need you to know the depth of my love for you. You. Not the ghost of a woman I lost. Not the hope that you’ll remember the life we had. I want you to know that my heaven is right here, tangled in the sheets with the love of my existence.”

Love shines in her eyes at my declaration. She doesn’t say anything, just takes my hand and presses it over her heart while doing the same to mine with her own small palm. Rolling her hips, she rides me fast and hard, the flush creeping up her neck telling me her climax is close.

“Come, baby. Come all over me,” I tell her through gritted teeth, needing it to be good for her before I take what I have to have.

Without looking away, an almost pained cry leaves her as her walls clench around me and her rhythm falters. I fall over the cliff with her, filling her with my orgasm as I feed.

Shuddering and coated in a fine sheen of sweat, she falls against me, her head on my chest.

“I love you.” Her tone is disbelieving, but I’m still focused on what she’s just said.

I don’t respond. I can’t. My heart has split in two at the knowledge of what has happened between us, of what Lucifer has done. I don’t let myself home in on the life growing in her belly. I can’t. I know if I do, I’ll lose her completely. Right now, I just want to keep focused on this—us. Holding her tighter, I press a kiss to her forehead.

As we drift to sleep, the burn of the grace running through my back becomes a comfortable warmth spreading across my body. My side is completely healed, I’m sure of it. The uncomfortable ache is gone. Eyes snapping open, I glance at the reflection of us in the mirror over the dresser. My skin emanates a gold glow.

My humanity is gone.

* * *

Selah

I’ve been staring at Sariel’s sleeping form for way too long. I need to stop, but I’m unable to tear my gaze from the light surrounding him. He’s bathed in an aura of gold. It’s astonishing.

“You’re…beautiful,” I whisper.

My hands trail down his body, dimming his light where they touch the skin. The long cut to his side is gone, leaving behind no evidence he was ever injured. I dip my head and press a kiss to his chest, loving the comforting warmth radiating from him. He doesn’t open his eyes, but I know he’s awake. Instead of speaking, he wraps his arms around me and holds me against him as though he’s afraid I’m going to disappear.

Turning my face up so I can see the sharp line of his jaw, I wiggle in his arms. “Sariel, I know you’re awake.”

“Don’t.” That one word is tight, thick with emotion.

“What’s wrong?”

His hand rests on the curve of my hip before sliding down to rest over my womb. I can feel the trembling in his touch, as though he’s hesitant. He grinds his teeth and frowns before shaking his head.

“It’s fucking true,” he murmurs.

“What?”

“You let him inside you. He filled you with his seed. He fed from you.”

Nausea rolls through me at the thought of Adam. Sariel releases me and sits up before climbing out of bed, his naked skin losing some of the luminous glow. The smooth muscles of his back move enticingly as he pulls a pair of jeans over his hips. It’s then I notice, his skin is unmarked.

“Your tattoo is gone.”

Stiffening, he runs a hand through his tousled hair. “That’s the least of our worries.”

“Why are you angry? We just shared something intense… I told you I love you.”

When he turns blazing eyes on me, the hurt on his face would have brought me to my knees if I hadn’t already been in bed. “It doesn’t matter. Not now. You carry a Nephilim.”

“A what?”

“The child of an angel.”

Again, nausea clutches at my stomach. No. That’s impossible. “I can’t—”

“You can. I feel it inside you.”

Thinking back over the last few weeks, I count the days in my head, and my blood turns to ice as I realize I’m two weeks late. Then, warmth replaces the chill when I remember my dream of Selah from the past, heavy with Sariel’s baby growing inside her, happy, hopeful. My hand drifts to my flat belly, and I smile.

“We’re getting another chance,” I say. I should be terrified. I’m not ready for a child. But the thought of a life with Sariel, a family, it brings me nothing but happiness.

“No, Selah. You don’t understand.”

“You’re the only angel I’ve let inside me.” As soon as the words fall from my lips, they feel like ash as understanding slams into me. Counting back the days, I know exactly what he means. There was someone before Sariel. Someone who makes my skin crawl to think of. “Adam.”

He crosses his arms over his bare chest and nods, unwilling to lock eyes with me. “I can’t keep you safe. Not now. Gabriel and Michael will come for you to…prevent this.”

Fierce protectiveness swells in my chest. “They’re not going to hurt me or this baby. Besides, how do you know it’s Adam’s?”

Sorrow fills his gaze. “I gave up my ability to father children not long ago.”

My limbs are shaking with adrenaline. “So…you’re telling me I’m having Lucifer’s baby?”

“The child has grace, which can come only from an angel. It’s impossible for it to be mine.” An ugly sneer curls his lip. “It has to be his. Have you fucked any other fallen I should know about?”

His words hit me, harsh and unyielding. At first, I’m heartbroken at the knowledge that this can’t be Sariel’s child. Then my heartbreak morphs into hot anger. I was engaged to Adam. We’d been planning to get married, start a life, a family. If I let him inside me, it was because of those plans and before Lucifer. And after? I shudder at the memory of being unable to get my body to do what I wanted as Adam touched me.

“Fuck you, Sariel. I’ll sleep with anyone I damn well please. You don’t own me.”

A muscle ticks in the side of his jaw as his blazing silver gaze burns right through my chest. “You won’t.”

“I might,” I argue, but my voice falters as I try to push out the words.

“After all I’ve done to find you. This is how it ends?” He’s speaking, but the words aren’t truly meant for me. “Fine! I understand. You didn’t make her for me. Do you really have to damn her soul to show me?”

A shiver runs through me. The man before me has a direct line to God, and he’s using it.

Falling to his knees, he closes his eyes and bows his head. “What can I do? How can I show you I’m repentant? I’ll do anything you need to keep her from becoming Lucifer’s plaything. Just tell me, Father.”

Lucifer’s plaything? What is he talking about?

The wings etched into his back appear again, glistening and moving even though he’s still. Turning his face up to me, he reaches out, and I go to him. The tortured look in his eyes makes me forget why I’m angry. “Selah.” He utters my name as though it’s a prayer. He wraps his large arms around my hips and holds me tight. “This is killing me. Knowing he’s done this to you…that it’s my fault. I can’t take it.”

“Wait… How is this your fault?”

“If I’d just left you alone until all this was over. But I couldn’t, and my brother found you. Gabriel warned me, but I’m weak when it comes to you, and just like the first time, you’ll pay the price.”

“What price?”

“You’ll die.”