Seventy-one
Around the same time as Beth and Megan were starting their new life at Nanna’s house, James lost their old house. It was amazing he’d hung onto it that long. As soon as Beth’s salary was out of the equation, it was only a matter of time before he defaulted on the mortgage.
With the house repossessed, he began sofa surfing at mates’ houses. The lads at work each took their turn.
One night, he pitched up at the house that used to be Nanna’s, but was now Beth’s. It was late, and he was shouting and swearing up at the windows. Beth had to let him in, for fear he’d wake Megan.
‘You think I attacked you. That’s why you left.’
‘I DO NOT think you meant to hurt me. Forget what other people have said. I know what really happened.’
‘We could’ve sorted it. It was working OK.’
‘It was not working OK. Don’t kid yourself about that. I was already packing, remember? The decision had been made. It had nothing to do with my fall, or any perceived violence. You know that, James. You know I was already leaving.’
‘If you hadn’t fallen …’
Beth gave up. She figured maybe he just found it easier to blame the fall than to admit that the reason she’d left was because he’d put her and their daughter in danger.
When James ran out of sofas, he headed back up north, where he joined his brothers. They were wasting their lives in Shirley’s miserable house, still making their living selling knock off gear. Beth wasn’t even sure why they’d been allowed to keep the council house, but concluded that it was possibly because the lads had lived there all their lives and Dean was only eighteen when his mother had died. Alternatively, perhaps they just hadn’t informed the council of Shirley’s death.
On a few, rare occasions, James did make it down to see his daughter, but their time was regrettably spent in burger bars, as he’d predicted.
Then, within a year, she could only assume he’d pissed a few too many people off up there, as, one day, without warning, like a bad penny, he appeared back down south again.
At least when he came back, he stopped begging for a reconciliation. Even he was smart enough to realise it was over. He now had nothing to offer, whereas Beth had Nanna’s house.
To Beth, he seemed a little more broken. It was as if the light had gone out behind his eyes, and all hope had ended. He’d lost, and he knew it. He accepted she was never going to let him live with them in their safe haven.
Once he’d given up on ever experiencing the much longed-for reunion, James made no secret of the other women he was seeing. In a way, it was a relief for Beth. If he was with someone else, it took the pressure off her, although, none of his ‘relationships’ lasted long.
She, on the other hand, chose to remain single, dedicating herself to raising their daughter and re-decorating the house. It was a long hard slog, but nevertheless she single-handedly transformed their home from an old lady house, with rooms that were wallpapered up to the eyeballs, into a modern, contemporary place with stripped floorboards and white walls.
As Beth was working her way through the house, room by room, James was working his way around town, living with one girlfriend for a few months, then, when she’d had enough of being taken for all she was worth, moving on to the next.
Figuring it was best to let her daughter judge for herself, Beth kept her mouth shut when he repeatedly let Megan down.
She chose the same route to deal with his assortment of girlfriends; trying her hardest not to slag him off if she ever had the misfortune to meet them. And biting her tongue when they turned their venom towards her. Due to the nature of the women who were drawn to him, she often found herself being accused of jealousy. They all thought she was heartbroken since they now had the wonderful Jim Collier all to themselves. Little did they know.
She continued to bail James out financially, even though, legally, she was not in the least bit obliged. She just couldn’t forgive herself for the fact that, thanks to her nanna, she had a permanent roof over her head, and a safe place for Megan, whereas James was lost, drifting, always hoping for another big win.
As their daughter grew, and life moved on, Beth let every stupid thing James did wash over her. She was happy in Nanna’s house, with her daughter right there in the next room. It was all she’d ever wished for. She let all the bad feeling go, managing not to go crazy at him when he repeatedly failed to turn up to collect Megan. Smiling sweetly at all his dopey girlfriends. Nothing James did or said could rile her any more.
That was, until the day he told her he was planning to run off into the sunset with an innocent twenty-one-year-old. A girl who had her whole life ahead of her and didn’t deserve to be dragged into his mess.
Then Beth was truly mad at him.
She had to be sneaky. These days it was rarely necessary for her to go behind anyone’s back, seeing as her life was now her own. But just knowing that James was planning to move to Spain with a woman who was barely older than she was the day she’d blindly walked into a marriage with him, was truly upsetting her. She knew she had to be the voice of reason, and that voice needed to be directed at this poor deluded girl.
She invited him over to see Megan and, using her own daughter as a distraction, she managed to obtain the young woman’s number from James’s phone. Unlocking his phone was easy ‒ he had a lucky number. Of course he bloody well did!