Devin
I knew my girl was smart, but damn I didn't know she was this fucking smart that she can find anyone who doesn’t wants to be found. What else can she do that I don't know about? My mind is in a million different directions right now and I don't know what to do with what she said to me and to Marco. How has she been in this life that I never wanted her in I don't understand how she has been involved in the MC world I should've known if she was right? Man this is driving me crazy. I have been trying to protect her my whole life since we were kids. Then to find out she always wanted to be an old lady, I don't get it she was so pissed when I joined the MC. None of this is making sense right now, I have questions and she won't answer them. Something happened that she doesn't want to talk about and I get that nobody wants to talk about their past but I need to know hers and how she got into this world that I wanted to shield her from. How's the light that makes my darkness disappear be a part of this and still have light in her. I need her to open up to me. Just like you do the voice in my head says.
“You can stay here you know.” Felix says.
“What?” I'm so caught off guard.
“You can stay with Marco and Erika. We don't need everyone going. Plus your mind is on her with everything you found out today. I kinda figured she was somehow a part of the MC. I just don't know how she says she not in a MC I believe her but there's more to it and I'm a little worried. Like I said before she will be a perfect queen and a great old lady we already like and think of her as family why don't you just make it official already.” I don't know what to do anymore, I have been fighting my feeling for years and it's gets harder and harder.
“You should stay, I got this one.” Storm says.
“I think if I stay she will be mad that I did. I don't want to hurt her more than I already did.” I tell them both.
“I think she needs you we all heard what she said to Marco. I figured she has a bad past but I didn't think it was that bad until today look at her she doesn't look mad she freaking out a bit whatever happened in her past is going through a loop in her head right now, and it's not a good memory either look at her Devin.” I look at her and Storm is right like always something is wrong she started to twirl her hair with her finger and that's never a good sign.
“She needs you right now just be there for her don't piss her off though.” I look at them and took a deep breath. I hate when he's right.
“Are you sure you don't need me?” I ask.
“We are all covered.” Felix says. I nod my head. They got on their bikes and ride away. I walk in the bar and Erika jumped up great she jumpy again. When she saw me she relaxes a bit and sits back down.
“What are you doing here Devin?” She ask.
“It's the Scorpions Bar what do you think I'm doing here?” I saw a little smirk appear on her face that's a start.
“You know what I mean smart ass.” I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist.
“We thought that I should stay behind with Marco and you.” She leans into me than moves away from me like I was on fire or something.
“No I'm not doing this.” She removes my arms from her waist and man did that sting. But I deserve that after what I did last night.
“I deserve that I'm sorry for last night I always told myself that I wouldn't try anything with you and when I kissed you I knew I fucked up.”
“You fucked up after the kiss when you just left with no word. You don't understand how much that hurt Devin.”
“I'm so fucking sorry I'm not good enough for you Erika I never have been so I keep my distance.” She slaps me. Storm was right she been going easy on us when she hits us that fucking hurt.
“You are a fucking idiot you know that. I don't know why men always thinks they don't deserve to be happy you deserve to me happy why won't you let yourself be happy why won't you let me love you, you stubborn jackass.” I take a deep breath.
“It's because I'm filled with darkness.” Erika puts her hands on my face and comes close.
“You’re not full of darkness there's light inside you, you just don't see it like I do.” I lean into her touch, can there really be light in me?
“I want you to tell me about your past not right now but soon.” I tell her.
“It goes both ways Devin I want to hear yours as well I want to know why you think your full of darkness.” I can't tell her my story she wouldn't look at me the way she does now again.
“How about this we take baby steps? We will get to where we want to be just slowly but for this to work there needs to be trust. I trust you I always have, I need you to trust me and believe me and tell each other the truth.” Erika says.
“I always trust you that’s never been the problem telling you all the truth to my past is the problem.” I tell her.
“Like I said baby steps we will get there right now I'm not ready to tell you about mine. We have to take baby steps.” I nod my head baby steps sounds good.
“How do you feel about going to the compound instead of your place?”
“I'm fine with it. Plus it will make me feel better when I know that they are back and safe.” I nod my head. Marco comes out with three beers he hands me one and I take a sip.
“I'm closing the bar early today I'm tired and I want to make sure everything is good at the compound.”
“Sounds good to me Erika is coming with us when we go.” Marco smiles.
“That's sounds good to me.” Marco says with a smile but even though he is smiling I know he's worried about the others just like I am. As Marco is closing up Erika got a phone call and went to the other side of the room who the hell is she on the phone with. Erika gets off the phone than walks over to me with a smile on her face.
“I'm ready to go.” I grab her hand than walk out of the bar to my bike. When we got to the compound the mechanic shop was filled with cars that need to be fixed. I take Erika inside the compound, this is the first time she’s ever been here.
“Where is the bathroom?” She asks.
“Down the hall first door on the right. I'm going to be on the couch when you get out.” She nods her head. I sit down on the couch I can never tell her I'm the reason her parents are dead, she will never forgive me for that.
Six Years Ago
I don't know why she let him touch her now, she’s mad at me because I punched the prick who grabbed her ass. I swear she will be the death of me one day. I get inside my car and slam the door closed. Driving down the road a car turns out of nowhere and I hit head on. My head hits the steering wheel hard there's blood running down my face. I try to get out but I'm stuck and I can't move. I look at the other car and I saw Erika’s dad no this can't be happening god please don't let her be in that car. Fusing with my seatbelt I can't get it undone I looked up and the car explodes.
“No no Erika.” I scream.
Present
“Devin what's wrong?” I hear my name and I snap out of it.
“It's nothing I'm fine.” That was one of the worst days of my life when I thought I killed her, but I didn't just her parents and I know she won't forgive me for it. Erika climb onto my lap than grabs my face.
“Whatever is bothering you, you can tell me I know I'm being a hypocrite by saying that but there's something wrong it's all over your face Devin.” I take a deep breath she's fine, she's alive, and on top of me I can feel my erection growing and how she sitting on me she does too.
“I'm ok. I'm sorry I made you worry.” She nods her head but I don't think she believes me. She puts her head on my shoulder and relaxes.
“Erika are you okay?”
“Yeah I'm just worried about Storm and Felix.” She has a heart of gold but she also a hothead you don't mess with people she cares about if you do you have to deal with her wrath and it's pretty scary if you ask me.
“They will be fine. How about we get some sleep? You can sleep in my room.”
“Okay that sounds good I'm a bit tired.” I take her into my room in the compound she grabs my hand a leads me to the bed. I don't know why she cares so much about me I'm not worth her love.
“You need to get rest as well and I'm not taking no for an answer.”
“Okay fine.” She’s so damn stubborn but I'm tired of always arguing with her I'm tired of all the secrets. I'm tired of everything when did our lives get so damn complicated? Having her this close and not able to do anything sucks.
It's been a few days since the guys left to find that jackass who's been stealing our money. As each day goes by Erika gets more worried and I hate that she has a sad look on her face for the last five days. I have been trying everything and anything to make her smile and when she does it’s not her big beautiful smile I usually get when I get her to smile and I hate it. Marco and I are getting a little worried ourselves it doesn't take this long usually to handle something like that. What if something went wrong and we don't know about it yet? Erika is sleeping and I hope it stays like that a bit longer she hasn't been sleeping that well. Between her being worried plus she been having nightmares I can tell. I have them myself but I don't know what hers are about. All I want to do is protect her but I don't know what I should be protecting her from she won't tell me and it's pissing me off.
“Devin are you okay?” I turn to see Marco and he has a concerned look on his face.
“Yeah I'm fine. What’s wrong Marco?”
“I want to know who she is scared of. Ever since you two got into it a few days ago her mind has been somewhere else and she been having nightmares. I just got her back to sleep. How are we supposed to protect her if don't know from who?” Marco says irritated.
“Shit I have to figure out how to get her to tell me everything. But I don't think she will unless I do and I'm not ready for that.” Marco sighs.
“I'm pretty sure she already knows that you have killed people before she knows our life and she is still friends with us anyways that's not going to be a problem. You need to man up and tell her so she can tell us then it can be dealt with.”
“No that's not the secret I been keeping from her there’s one death that I caused that she won't forgive me for. If I tell her that one I will lose her forever and I can't lose her I won't have that.”
“Devin you’re not giving that girl any credit. She has stood by you through everything. When you became a Scorpion she was still there every time you pushed her away she didn't leave no matter how much of a dick you were to her she’s not going anywhere and you have to get that and see it like we all do. Erika will always be your old lady you just have to make her yours already.” I hate when Marco is right between him and Storm always being on my ass about this but he made a lot of points if I'm going to protect her I have to tell her the main secret I have been hiding I don't want to lose her but her safety is everything. She comes first no matter what it's time to man up.
It's almost ten that's when they walk through the door thank god they’re home safe and sound. We all hugged than sat at the table.
“Everything has been handled it took longer because we needed to find out who he was working for.” Felix says.
“Okay so who was he working for?” I ask.
“The Devils.” You gotta be kidding me.
“Why am I not surprised.” Marco and I say in unison. That's when Erika walks in and runs to Storm and hugs him he hugs her back.
“She’s been worried about you guys.” I said.
“Sorry I made you worry.” Storm says.
“I'm just glad you're both well all of you are home safe.” When she lets go she gives Felix a quick hug. It doesn't bother me but I wonder why she cares about us all for but it's one of the things I love about her.
“I'm going to go back to the room so you can talk.” Erika says. She starts walking I grab her hand to stop her from leaving.
“Are you staying?” I ask.
“Yes unless told otherwise.” She looks between me and Felix she’s waiting for an answer.
“You can stay as long as you like. I don't mind at all.” Felix says. She smiles at us then goes into the room.
“I'm surprised you brought her here.” Felix and Storm says in union.
“I am too but it's the best way to look after her plus she was worried and wanted to be there when you all got home. Now she can stop worrying thank god.”
“We have two problems. Problem one like always The Devils problem number two is finding out who is Erika afraid of.” Marco says the last part as he looks at me.
“Devin you need to find that out so we can handle that.” Storms tells me.
“I know I know I'm thinking. I'm going to talk to you all tomorrow I'm going to bed.” I went into my room and Erika looks like she is out cold and I don't blame her she barely got any sleep. Climbing onto my bed I wrap my arm around her waist. She snuggles to my chest and all my worries just disappear.