So far, despite my best efforts, I haven’t been able to get a job. Maybe the economy is as bad as everyone says, or maybe people just really don’t want to hire girls with absolutely zero experience. It’s almost depressing that nobody is giving me a shot, and I’m still stuck in my house, despite wanting so badly to move on.

Around ten in the morning on Saturday, I’m feeling particularly depressed as I head into the kitchen. I grab a yogurt from the refrigerator and a banana from the counter, intending to head outside and eat in the sunshine, but suddenly I hear a noise from down the hall.

I pause standing in the kitchen, and I hear it again. It’s like a grunt, or close to a grunt at least. I put down my breakfast and head toward the noise, moving tentatively.

There are two rooms toward the side of the house. One is a laundry room and the other used to be half storage and half office. As I get closer, it becomes obvious that the noise is coming from the office space, though I have no clue why.

The light is on in the room as I step into the doorway. Inside, it’s not an office anymore, not even close. Everything has been cleaned out, and I have no clue when that even happened. Connor is in there sitting at a weight bench, lifting barbells without a shirt.

Sweat rolls down his body and I can’t help but stare. He’s even more muscular and toned than I thought he was. Tattoos cover most of his torso, plus a few nasty looking scars that I guess he got when he was a SEAL.

He doesn’t know I’m here, not yet at least. He’s too busy working his arms, the muscles forced to their limit. I watch him as he grunts through his workout, but I know I should go. I’m staring at him like I want to fuck him, because I do, really badly. I want him to hold me down on that weight bench and slam himself deep inside of me, but no, no, I can’t think that way. He’s my stepfather, after all.

I should turn around and walk away. I should stop staring at his sweaty body as he lifts weights. There’s still time. He hasn’t noticed me yet. But if he actually sees me, he’s going to know. I can’t hide the way I’m staring at him and I know it.

Seconds pass and I stand there, transfixed. I’ve never seen a man like Connor before. He’s absolutely beautiful, almost graceful in the way he moves, and I have the insane urge to walk into the room and touch his muscles. I want to feel how hard they are.

I take a step back from the doorway just as he finishes his set. He lets the barbell down onto the floor with a grunt, breathing deep, and then he looks up.

Our eyes meet and I’m frozen there. He looks at me for a second and then that cocky smile drifts across his face.

“Hey,” he says. “Sorry. I didn’t see you there.”

“No, uh, it’s okay,” I stutter. “I was just, uh, looking for the office.”

“I moved most of your mom’s stuff up into the extra bedroom upstairs,” he says. “I figured I’d need at least one room in this house to myself.”

“Sure. Yeah. Of course. Whatever you want.” I want to turn and run away, but his gaze holds me there. He knows I was watching him and I can feel red tingeing my cheeks. I’m so embarrassed.

“Good. Glad you don’t mind.” He stands up and stretches a little bit. “I was just finishing up.” He grabs his t-shirt from the bench and throws it over his shoulder.

“Do you, um, work out a lot?” I feel stupid as soon as the words leave my mouth.

He grins and shrugs. “Enough, I guess. Not as much as I should. I need to maintain a certain level of fitness for my job.”

“Security,” I say. “You work a lot.”

He shrugs. “Guess so. I like it.”

“What are you doing right now?”

“Working for the college down the road.”

“Why’s a college need security?” I ask.

He walks past me and I tag along as we head back into the kitchen.

“They’ve gotten some bomb threats lately. There’s some symposium there, I don’t know, a bunch of smart-ass guys are getting together to talk about something. I’m supposed to make sure those bomb threats don’t happen.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Is it dangerous?”

He laughs. “Not at all.” He heads over to the cabinet, grabs a glass, and fills it with water at the refrigerator.

I sit down at the island, watching him. “Is it ever dangerous?” I ask.

“Sometimes,” he says. “Usually no, though. Most of the time just being present is enough to scare away any crazies.”

“But not always?”

“Not always.” He looks at me. “You interested in getting into security?”

I laugh, shaking my head. “Not at all.”

“Come on. You look pretty tough.” He leans up against the counter.

“Oh yeah?” I flex my right bicep. “I think you’re right. I could probably beat up some bad guys.”

“Sure. With a little training, you’d be downright scary.”

“Who needs training when you’re ripped like me?”

He laughs, grinning huge. “Great point.” He steps toward me and reaches out, taking my bicep in his arm and squeezing softly. “Rock hard. I’m impressed.”

I laugh and drop my arm. He grins at me and crosses his arms across his chest, making his muscles pop out. I have to look away or else risk staring at him.

“Your tattoos,” I say, changing the subject. “Where’d you get them?”

He looks down at himself. “All over the place. These two were in Japan, this one was in Korea. This one was in Germany.” He points at a few places on his body, including a tiger and a stylized Koi fish.

“They’re really cool,” I say.

“I guess. Youthful stupidity, mostly.”

“They’re not stupid. I’m jealous, actually.”

He cocks his head. “Of my tattoos?”

“No, I mean, of your traveling.”

“Courtesy of the United States military.” He flashes me his smile. “I wouldn’t recommend it.”

“Still. I want to travel. I’ve never been outside of my home town.”

“You will eventually. I could show you around Japan one day.”

“Do you know it well?”

“I was stationed there for two years,” he says, nodding. “Fell in love with it over there. Very different way of life, but it’s interesting.”

“You’re a big anime fan now?” I ask him, smirking.

He laughs, nodding. “Absolutely.”

“No way. Seriously?”

“Of course not.” He laughs again, grinning at me.

I shake my head. “You’re awful.”

“Nah. I’m great.” He leans toward me, eyes locked on mine, and my heart beats fast in my chest for a second. “And I think you know it.”

I hold his gaze for a second and I sense something between us, but I can’t let myself dwell on it. I look away and he laughs a little bit before pulling his shirt back on over his perfect chest.

The excitement in my chest moves down to my stomach and lingers between my legs as he gets another glass of water. He turns toward me and nods.

“Well, feel free to watch me work out whenever you want,” he says.

“Why would I do that?”

He shrugs, a devilish smile on his face. “Who knows? Maybe you want to join in next time. I’d be happy to work you good and hard.”

I can’t miss the implication. “Ah, uh, maybe next time.”

“Suit yourself. I’m going to grab a shower.”

“Okay.”

He nods at me, that grin still on his face, before heading back down the hall and upstairs.

I let out a breath and feel like my whole body might deflate. I can’t believe he was coming on to me, very clearly and without any real hesitation. He’s my freaking stepfather, and he’s supposed to be with my mother, but there’s something between us. Something I don’t want to let myself admit to.

And I don’t ever see him with Mom. They’re basically never around each other. They both work all day and they both get home late. As far as I can tell, they might even sleep in separate rooms, since it looks like the guest room’s bed has been slept in. I’m not positive about that, but something strange is going on here.

He’s so handsome and charming. I’m fascinated by his life, too. He’s traveled so much, way more than I ever have. He has this quiet maturity to him, like he’s completely self-confident in the man he is. Every time I talk to him, I feel this thrill in my body and can’t pretend like it’s not there, even if I’m afraid of what it means.

I pick up my yogurt and my banana from the counter again and head out back. I eat sitting at the patio table in the shade, trying not to think about Connor’s body as he worked out.

He’s upstairs right now, showering, naked, soaking wet. I could easily walk in on him.

I need to get myself together. I’m seriously thinking about walking in on my stepfather showering, because apparently I’ve gone absolutely insane.

I have to get out of this house before I do something stupid.