My life is a freaking mess and I have nobody to blame but myself. I know it, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

I’m still stuck in this position.

I’m gloomy all day at work. The sun is shining, the preserve is surprisingly busy, but I can’t seem to enjoy anything right now. I should relax and let go, try and forget about my problems for a few hours, but I just can’t.

Caleb keeps calling while I’m at work, reminding me about all this crap as soon as I manage to forget about it. I’m probably not doing myself any favors by ignoring his calls, but I can’t help myself.

That date was horrible. I had hoped that maybe I was just exaggerating everything and being dramatic, but I wasn’t. Caleb is genuinely an awful person and being around him makes me feel sick, absolutely sick. I’m sure he could take care of me and my father, and probably give me a life with more than I could ever dream of, but I don’t want that life.

It’s a life devoid of happiness. Joy isn’t found in things and status. I used to think that making a lot of money and being rich would make me happy, but I’m beginning to realize that it’s only a distraction from the important things.

Family, friends, following your passion, those are the things that mean something to me. Marrying a man like Caleb would basically mean I’d be sacrificing all of those things in order to get some stuff and some money.

I can see what that sort of power can do to a person. I see it in Caleb every day. He has so much money, was given so much in his life, and now he’s this twisted person that expects everything from the world and looks down at others. I don’t ever want to be like that.

Success in business, lots of money, none of that stuff guarantees happiness. It doesn’t even guarantee that you’re a good or smart person.

I don’t want that world. I want to get as far from it as possible, in fact, which is why I keep dodging Caleb’s calls.

I can only imagine what he’s going to do when I really decide to go back on this deal. He’ll probably really lose it and scare the hell out of me, I bet. I’m afraid to tell him, but I know that I have to. I can’t let myself sacrifice my entire life with Caleb.

Maybe the preserve will be destroyed. That’s not definitely. It might survive somehow. Heck, I could marry him, have his kids, and the preserve would get bulldozed ten years later by someone else with even more money. I can’t control the world and I can’t give up everything I am and believe in for something that may or may not happen.

As the day wears on, I keep thinking about Caleb, but my resolve strengthens. I know that I’m going to back out of the deal and tell him the truth at the first opportunity I get. I’m afraid of what he’ll do, but I’m through with being all wishy-washy about this. I can’t let this man bully me anymore.

The day drags on and finally the last guests start to filter out. Laura and I close up the preserve as the sun slowly sets, and I head out around six that night. I’m running a little late, and I’m sure his day nurse is annoyed, but I’ll tip her big time. Or at least as big as I can.

I hurry home and as I pull into the driveway, I’m surprised by what I see.

The car in the driveway definitely is not the nurse’s usual car. In fact, I recognize it, but I can’t imagine that I’m right.

It’s Caleb’s car. Big and dark and expensive, as I climb out and take a look, I know I’m not mistaken.

Shock registers through my system. If Caleb’s car is here and the nurse’s is gone, that means he’s inside alone with my father.

I run to the front door, panicking, heart hammering. Does he know? Does he know that I planned on leaving him and breaking our deal? The most horrifying thoughts race through my mind. Maybe he’s in there hurting my father, doing something awful to him. I wouldn’t forgive myself if my father were in danger and it’s all because of my stupid decisions.

I throw open the door and burst into my house. I have my phone in my hand, 9-1-1 already dialed just in case, heart hammering.

My father is sitting in his chair, watching TV. He doesn’t look up as I come in. I run over to his side, crouching down. “Dad, are you okay?” I say to him.

He glances at me for a second before looking back at the TV.

I look over his body. He seems totally fine, normal in fact. I stand up slowly, phone still in my hand.

“Caleb?” I call out.

He appears in the doorway to the kitchen, smiling. “You’re home,” he says.

“What the hell are you doing?” I hiss at him, moving into the kitchen. He follows me, smiling and drying his hands off with a towel.

“Well, I was making spaghetti.” He nods toward the stove where there are a couple pots. I can smell the food cooking.

“No, I mean, why are you here?”

“You weren’t home when I arrived and the nurse looked like she wanted to get out of here. So I sent her home.”

I gaped at him. “You can’t do that. You can’t just come in here.”

“Sure, I can,” he says, smiling. “I own you now, remember?”

I take a step back, my eyes wide. “No,” I say.

“Come on, Mia. What did you think this was? I’m not going to hurt your fucking retarded Dad.”

“He’s not retarded,” I spit at him. “He has Alzheimer’s. You sick asshole. And don’t say that word.”

“What, retarded?” He laughs. “Whatever, Alzheimer’s, retarded, I don’t care.”

Real fear jolts through me. He glances down at the phone in my hand and cocks his head to one side. “What are you doing?” he asks me.

“Nothing.” I quickly put my phone into my pocket.

He watches me for a second before smiling again. “You should be happy I’m here. I did you a favor. And now I’m cooking you dinner.”

“I don’t want your food,” I say. “And my dad can’t have spaghetti. He might choke.”

He stares at me, his face going blank. “That’s very rude of you, Mia.”

“It’s very rude of you to barge in here like this. Seriously, Caleb, it’s really creepy.”

“Creepy?” He laughs. “I don’t give a fuck. You agreed to my deal, which means I can do whatever I want with you.”

I stare at him for a second, pulse pounding in my ears. This is my moment, but I’m so afraid. I’m a freaking coward, I realize. Caleb is terrifying and creepy and dangerous, and I need to end this with him right now, but I’m afraid. He might try to hurt me or my father.

But I got us into this and it’s up to me to get us out. I have to be brave and step up. Maybe I would have rolled over and let him do this to me at one point in my life, but I’m stronger now, and I’m starting to learn what I really want out of life.

“I don’t want your deal,” I say to him softly.

“What’s that?” He grins at me. “I didn’t hear you.”

“The deal is off,” I say more loudly, standing up straight. “I don’t want anything to do with you, Caleb. Get out of my house, get out of my life, and leave me alone.”

I take a deep breath, keeping my face serious. I feel good about myself that I just stood up to him. He cocks his head at me, looking at me strangely, but I’m not backing down. I know I’m in the right here.

He steps toward me, his face suddenly totally blank. “Why did you have Lucas beat up my brother?” he asks.

I blink at him, surprised. “What?”

“Your little pet, Lucas. He nearly killed my brother. Why would you do that?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, and I feel that icy chill of fear run down my spine again.

“You fucking bitch.” He starts walking toward me, and I just turn and run.

He comes after me.

“You dumb fucking bitch!” he screams, rage on his face. “You hurt my brother, you and your fucking pussy friend Lucas. You can’t get out of this deal, you goddamn whore. I fucking own you!” His eyes are wide and the rage on his face terrifies me.

I run from him. He chases me through the living room, around the coffee table, and back through the kitchen. I manage to get past him again as he screams at me, insult after insult, each one worse than the next. I run for the front door, heart hammering, not knowing what to do. I’m afraid he’s going to kill me and my father, and I want to lead him outside.

I throw the door open and get out onto the front porch. But he catches up with me, grabs my arms, and spins me around.

“You stupid cunt!” he screams, and backhands me across the face.

Pain flares up as I fall to the ground. He stares down at me, anger twisting his face into a mask of horror.

“You’re dead,” he says to me.

And I believe him.