Sam
Present
Villanova, Pennsylvania
Age 24
“EVERYTHING,” HE SAYS, and I inhale deeply.
“What does that mean?” I ask.
Our fingers are still linked and he squeezes my hand. “I’ve never been this happy,” he says, and his eyes look glassy. This tender moment is something I never thought I’d experience with Garrett.
“I’m in love with my son too,” he says and blinks heavily. “I can’t imagine my life without him. I see our future together and it’s amazing.” He smiles, and I use my free hand to wipe the tear on his cheek.
“Tell me what his future looks like,” I say. I want to hear everything.
“He’s going to be the starting first baseman for the New York Yankees,” Garrett states as if he’s seen this future already.
“The Yankees?” I ask. “You do realize you live in Pennsylvania. He’ll be surrounded by Phillies fans his entire life. You’re dooming his existence with constant heckling and fights.”
He laughs heartily. “I’m not worried. At least he’s not going to be on the Mets.”
I swat him on the shoulder. “Hey, leave my Mets out of this.”
“Really? A Mets fan? I should have known.” He kisses me tenderly and pulls me closer against his body.
“My father’s favorite team. I grew up carrying Mr. Met around with Googie.” Mr. Met didn’t make it through the fire, and I feel sad, remembering the day my father gave him to me.
“What else does Kai’s future hold?” I ask curiously.
“That depends,” he says.
“Depends on what?” I ask.
“It depends on if you’ll be around to see him grow up.”
His words stab through my heart and I don’t understand why he’s saying this.
“What?” I ask, my eyes burning with impending tears.
He kisses me deeply, and my tears spill down my cheeks. He pulls back then kisses each and every drop until my cheeks are dry.
“I realize you’re leaving us to go back to work. But please don’t leave for good. We need you. I need you.”
“What do you want from me?” I ask. What is he asking?
“I want everything. All of you,” he says and rolls so that he’s on top of me, our hips pressed together. He spreads my legs apart with his knee and rests himself there.
I suck in a deep breath as he crushes his lips to mine. I want this. I want it all. I thrust my hips into his, and he moans against my mouth. “Sam,” he whispers, and his tongue twists with mine. He absorbs every breath as I prepare to give myself to him.
“Yes,” I pant, and he devours my words.
He pulls one hand over my head and laces his fingers with mine. His lips travel down to my neck as his free hand grazes the side of my breast, causing me to arch my back and press into him more aggressively. I need to feel him all over me, inside me.
His free hand caresses my cheek. My eyes open and he’s hovering above me, looking contemplative. “Are you sure?” he asks, and I nod so there’s no confusion about exactly what I want. What I need.
He doesn’t hesitate further. He slides down my body, taking my leggings and panties with him. He doesn’t waste his time removing his boxers. The only thing that remains between us is my tank, which he’s already pushed over my breasts. He covers my nipple with his mouth, causing me to moan. He scrapes his teeth over it gently, and he moves to devour my other breast. I thrust toward him, and his hard length presses against my thigh. I feel his warm breath everywhere as his mouth nips and sucks places that haven’t seen the light of day in ages.
“Garrett,” I whimper.
He spreads my legs farther apart and plunges his fingers into me while his thumb swirls my most sensitive area. I thrust my hips, forcing his fingers deeper. “Look at me,” he says, and I do. He stares into my eyes as he continues plunging in and out. I’m gasping for air, needing a quick release. He moves expertly, and I come apart almost immediately. My climax surprises me, but he doesn’t relent. He rolls on top of me so he’s once again resting there. So close. My hips rise and fall, and I need to feel him. All of him.
“Inside me,” I pant.
He reaches for the nightstand, and I’m not surprised that there’s a stash of condoms in the back. He tears one open and quickly slides it over himself.
He fills me before I can catch my breath, his lips crash into mine. We move together like we’ve done this a thousand times before. I open my eyes the same time he does, and he slows his rhythm and swirls his hips above mine. He lifts a hand to touch my cheek, the look in his eyes almost unsure if I’m real or not. I lift my head to kiss him softly, and he thrusts deeper into me.
We’re joined. United. It’s intense and powerful. In this moment, we’re one, and it feels so right. My heart beats wildly and in unison with his. Our breaths mingle and feed each other. I never want this to end, and it’s only just begun. He moves faster, more rhythmically, and my body responds.
“Sam,” he pants and devours my mouth again.
I cry out when he thrusts deeper. “Wait,” I say, and he slows down. His eyes search my face, unsure. I wrap my leg around his thigh attempting to roll us and his eyes light up. He follows my cue and wraps his arms around my back, rolling with me. It takes a little maneuvering, but now, I’m right where I want to be.
My long hair falls to the sides of my face and partially covers my breasts. He places his palm flat against my belly and slowly lifts his hips, driving further inside of me.
We move together slowly, deliberately. “Garrett,” I whimper, biting my lip. He stiffens below me, and he suddenly lifts me off of him. He’s shifted himself so he’s sitting with his back against the headboard. We aren’t separated for too long when he grabs my hips and lowers me back down on top of him, crushing his lips into mine. “You were too far away,” he says frantically against my lips. I moan into his mouth and he devours me, his hands caress my face and become tangled in my hair. He continues thrusting upwards, filling me completely. I say his name again, this time incoherently as a wave of pleasure rushes through me. His mouth swallows my cries, and his last surge draws my climax in sync with his. “Sam,” he says again, and I fall on top of him, the warmth between our bodies keeping us joined together.
We stay like this for as long as we can until he needs to pull out and dispose of the condom. He rolls me off of him and does so quickly. He’s back in bed next to me before I know it.
He pulls me against him and nuzzles into my neck, and kisses my shoulder, letting his lips linger.
“That was incredible,” he whispers against my neck. I can feel his smile.
“It was,” I admit. The best I’ve ever had.
I can’t help but wonder what this means for us. “Was that goodbye?” I ask hesitantly. We’ve both wanted this, and now that it’s happened, I wonder if he’ll move on to the next conquest.
His body tenses next to mine and he lifts his head so his eyes are even with mine. “Definitely not goodbye.”
“No?” I ask and smile.
“Absolutely not.”
“Then what is this?” I ask, afraid of his answer. I’m not the friends-with-benefits type, and I know he’s not into long-term relationships. We’re doomed even before we get started.
“I think we can figure this out together,” he says and kisses me tenderly.
“I don’t do booty calls,” I say and push him away so he can see that I’m serious.
“I don’t want that. Not with you.”
“Oh,” I say and turn my head away.
“Sam, look at me,” he commands, and I turn back to look into his eyes. They’re dark and very serious.
He takes a deep breath and exhales quickly. “I’m in love with you.” His words cause me to stiffen in disbelief.
“What?”
“I love you,” he says again and lowers his mouth back to mine. His kiss is slow and thorough, and I press myself into him again.
I believe him. And his words scare me. We live completely different lives. I’m not cut out to live in his world.
“Why?” I ask, and he exhales heavily.
“You gave me something I thought I’d never experience. You triggered my capacity to love and to give myself fully to another human being. You’ve consumed my heart and soul. And you helped me find the place in my heart that I never knew existed. A place reserved for my child.”
His words grab my heart and I close my eyes.
“Look at me,” he says gently but firmly.
My eyes pop open and he says, “I’ve never felt this way about anyone, Sam. You give me breath. You give me life. I’m consumed by you.”
He continues, “I’m yours, Sam. All of me. I need you to tell me that you’re mine.”
“Yes,” I say, and he smiles as he brushes his hand over my cheek.
“Thank you,” he whispers against my lips. “You’ve given me everything I thought I’d never want or have. You changed me. You’ve made me want to erase all of the sins in my past and be worthy of you.”
I can’t speak. But I feel so much. His warmth surrounds me. Protects me. I feel his love. His walls have collapsed around me, and I know he’s mine, and I’m his. My heart races and I pull him closer.
“Please say something,” he begs. “Tell me I’m not crazy. Tell me that what I’m feeling isn’t one-sided. Tell me…”
“I love you,” I blurt out.
“Tell me you won’t leave,” he says, pleading with me.
I sigh and close my eyes.
“I have to, Garrett. Kai doesn’t need me anymore, not like he did six months ago. I need to go back to work. It’s time.”
His eyes are heavy and he exhales. “This isn’t goodbye. You’re not leaving me, Sam.”
I smile. “I don’t intend to. I’ll just be staying someplace else at night.”
Relief floods his face, and he pulls me against him like he never plans to let me go.
“Good,” he whispers in my ear.
“And I think that someplace else should be my bed, permanently.” I feel him smile against my cheek.
“I don’t think Aunt Peggy would approve,” I joke, and he rolls on top of me, pinning me to the bed.
“I see I have a lot of convincing to do, don’t I?” His eyes are filled with determination, and he prepares to make sure my body doesn’t forget a single inch of his.
Within seconds, he’s claimed me again. Our bodies move in perfect rhythm as if we were built only for each other. “Say it again,” he pants as his thrusts fill me.
“I love you,” I repeat over and over again.