Garrett
Present
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Age 26
HEATH MOVES THROUGH MY HOUSE like he’s been here before. He finds the whiskey and two glasses and quickly pours heaping servings for the both of us. He slides one across the large island in the kitchen that I’m propped against. I drink it down in one gulp, feeling the burn of the brown liquid in my throat and into my chest. I wince as a delayed burn attacks my nose. My eyes water as I push the glass toward him. He refills it without thinking and his eyes meet mine.
“Dude, you have a kid.”
The words hang in the air between us, and I swig the second shot of whiskey.
“You don’t know that,” I say, trying to convince myself that the birth certificate isn’t real.
“And his mother is dead.” He drops his eyes and swirls his drink before sucking it back.
I slide onto the barstool and place my forehead on the cool granite. This can’t be happening.
Heath’s cell phone chimes loudly and he answers it after the first ring. “Mick,” he says, and I close my eyes, keeping my head pressed to the counter. “Right. Okay. Thanks.” He drops the phone on the counter next to my head.
“The police are finished. They gathered everything they could find. They want to talk to you, and Mick gave them your home address.”
What could they want to talk to me about?
“I don’t understand,” I mutter and slowly lift my head. “What could they want with me?”
Heath shrugs his shoulders and pours me another shot of whiskey. “That girl died. I’m sure they want to tie up any loose ends. Maybe try to figure out how you knew her and how she OD’d.”
Sadie was completely wasted. More than when I fucked her a while back. Was it nine months ago? I try to remember where we were when I met her. It was cold. And snowing. We were in Philadelphia for the first leg of our tour, and it was right after Thanksgiving last year. Holiday lights were everywhere, so it was definitely before Christmas.
Exactly nine months ago.
“Oh my God,” I murmur.
Heath stiffens in front of me, and his eyes focus over my right shoulder. “Ma’am?” he says, addressing whoever is behind me.
Peggy.
I rub my hands over my face and inhale deeply.
“Garrett?” Without turning, I can picture her confused and worried face. She and I are rarely here at the same time, but when we are, she’s like a second mother to me. She takes care of everything and adds her extra-special motherly touch. Fresh meals, clean sheets and warm smiles. I never tell her this, but being around her completely grounds me when I’m home. Something I don’t get with anyone.
“Hey, Peggy,” I say and push the empty glass from me. I’m suddenly embarrassed that I’m a little buzzed and ashamed about the birth certificate she knows nothing about.
“Is everything okay?” she asks hesitantly, and she moves to the end of the island, transferring her gaze between Heath and me.
“I should go—somewhere,” Heath says and backs away.
“No!” I say, startling all of us. His eyes widen and he shakes his head slowly. “You don’t know your way around the house.” He looks confused at my feeble attempt to keep him in the room with me and Peggy.
She tenses and reaches for my arm. Her cool hand grabs my wrist and I stiffen. “Garrett, what’s going on?” Her tone feels accusatory, and I pull my wrist from her grip.
“Nothing,” I snap. “We had some free time today, and Heath wanted to see my place.” I glare at Heath and expect him to corroborate my lies.
He turns to look out the window. “Hey, is that a pool house?” He quickly makes his way to the back door that leads to the backyard and the indoor pool at the back of my property. The door closes before I can stop him.
Peggy moves to fill the space where Heath was before. Her worried eyes find mine. “Garrett, I’ll ask you again, is everything okay?” she asks and reaches across the granite to cover my hand with hers.
“Not exactly.”
She raises her brow and squeezes my hand tightly as the front door chimes.
“I’ll get the door.” She walks toward the front of the house and turns to address me. “Are you here?” she asks, knowing that I frequently tell her to send people away.
“Yes,” I answer reluctantly. I know who’s outside my door.
I hear the door open and several voices outside. “We’re here to see Garrett Armstrong.”
Peggy gets flustered and escorts them toward the kitchen. Her eyes are now wide with worry. “Um, Garrett, the police are here to see you.”
Two uniformed police officers enter, followed by a woman dressed in plain clothes. Is she a detective? My heart jumps in my chest as the situation begins to feel more suspicious.
“Mr. Armstrong?” One of the police officers walks toward me, and I instinctively back up, defensive.
“Yes, how can I help you?”
“We were told that your friend, Heath Strickland, is also here. We’d like to question both of you regarding the death of Sadie Moore.”
Peggy quickly walks to the back door. “He’s out back. I’ll get him.” The look on her face indicates alarm and fear.
“I’m Officer Andrews and this is Officer Newman.” I nod toward the police officers and look at the woman behind them. “This is Nicole Thomas. She’s the social worker assigned to the case.”
Social worker?
Peggy and Heath return and introductions commence again.
“How did you gentlemen know Ms. Moore?” Andrews addresses both of us.
“Heath didn’t know her. I mean, he just met her today when she came to see me on our tour bus.”
“Okay, so how did you know her, Mr. Armstrong?” I don’t like his tone.
“She was a groupie. We met last year, and I hadn’t seen her since then until today.” I snap back at him.
“How did she know where to find you?” he asks.
“We’re on tour. It’s not hard to know where we are.” This guy is pissing me off. Peggy moves through the kitchen and gets my attention. Her eyes tell me all I need to see. She wants me to hold it together.
“Did you have a relationship with her?”
“No. Like I said, we met once last year. I never heard from her again until today.”
Newman steps forward. “We’re trying to understand what happened today. Ms. Moore entered your bus and then died of a drug overdose within minutes. We’d like to know how this happened and where she got her drugs from.”
“How can I possibly know that?” I practically shout. “I haven’t seen her since last year. We didn’t even know each other. It was a one-time hook-up.” I run my hand through my hair and try to regulate my breathing.
“So you never saw the drugs that she took? You didn’t share any with her? Are you willing to submit a urine and saliva sample for drug testing?”
What the fuck?
Suddenly Heath speaks up. “I don’t see the need for Garrett to submit any samples to you for drug testing. He wasn’t hanging out with her. When she barged onto our bus, she was already wasted.” He pauses. “Do we need to get a lawyer here? My father is the District Attorney, and I’m sure he’ll have some recommendations.”
What?
Andrews and Newman back down for the first time and relief floods my chest. “No. No need to call the D.A., I mean, your father,” Newman says. “I think we have what we need regarding Ms. Moore.”
“Can I speak to Mr. Armstrong now?”
I turn toward the voice behind me and the social worker, Nicole Thomas, walks past us into the kitchen.
“We’ll be outside,” Andrews huffs, and the officers leave through the front door.
“Is there someplace more comfortable we can go?” Her tone is much softer than the two police officers, but somehow more serious.
“The den is in here.” I lead her through the kitchen into an open space toward the back of the house. She sits in one of the oversized chairs and I sit on the large sectional couch.
“Are you aware that Sadie gave birth to a baby boy about two weeks ago?” she asks.
I want to lie to her. Tell her that I have no idea what she’s talking about. Tell her to leave my house immediately and never come back. But I see Peggy standing in the kitchen with her arms crossed over her chest. She can hear everything we’re saying, and I don’t want to lie in front of her. I can’t.
“Yes,” I say reluctantly and pull the crumpled birth certificate from my pocket.
“Sadie showed me this right before she…”
Nicole reaches out and looks at the birth certificate and nods. Her expression changes and she looks upset. Her eyes glisten, and she places the paper on the table in front of her. “I’ve been working with Sadie for a long time. She was a drug addict. As soon as she tested positive for drug use after she gave birth to Kai, I was called to intervene. She refused care and left the hospital shortly after he was born. He was very sick as you can imagine. He also tested positive for drugs and has been in the neonatal intensive care unit for the past two weeks.” She pauses and wrings her hands together.
“Why are you telling me all of this?” I stand up and begin pacing back and forth. I feel every fiber from the rich rug beneath my still-bare feet. I imagine the carpet pulling me in, hiding me away. I need to escape.
“Kai has no one. He’s alone now.”
“What the hell do you want me to do about it?” I spit back at her. She can’t be thinking what I think she is.
“Please sit down. You’re making me nervous.”
I stop pacing and see that Peggy and Heath are huddled in the kitchen. I sink back onto the couch and throw my head back, exhaling deeply. I don’t want to hear what she has to say. I don’t want to know anything more about Sadie or Kai.
“Mr. Armstrong?” Nicole implores. “You need to hear me out.”
I lean forward, placing my elbows on my knees so my hands can support my head. “Fine.”
“Sadie Moore is a product of the foster system. I’ve been her social worker since she was nine years old. Her biological mother was a drug addict and was incarcerated for possession with the intent to distribute. While she served a five-year sentence in prison, Sadie was placed in foster care. Her mother was released when Sadie was fourteen and wanted nothing to do with her. Her mom disappeared shortly after her prison stay, and we never heard from her again. Sadie remained in the foster system until she was eighteen and then was placed in a group home.” Nicole pauses and tears fill her eyes.
“I failed Sadie. I was supposed to help her and I failed. She followed in the footsteps of her mother and became an addict. That can’t happen to Kai. We can’t let that happen.”
I look up at her as she brushes tears from her cheeks. I feel the couch sink next to me and realize Peggy has joined us.
“What can we do?” Peggy asks.
Nicole looks surprised and focuses her gaze on Peggy. “I’m sorry, who are you?” she asks.
“Margaret Weston. I’m Garrett’s aunt. Everyone calls me Peggy.”
What? What is she doing? Why is she lying about being my aunt?
“I’m sorry,” I interrupt. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t think my aunt has anything to add here.”
“I disagree,” Peggy states sternly. “Please continue with your story, Ms. Thomas.” She grabs my forearm and holds tight, her nails digging dangerously into my skin.
Nicole takes a deep breath and her eyes lock onto mine. “Sadie was a troubled girl, as you can imagine. She was in and out of juvenile detention centers throughout her teen years. It was hard keeping her in a good foster environment. She was very violent toward her caregivers and the state had a difficult time finding a foster home without any other children. Because of her violent disposition, they needed to place her alone. We tried everything and finally we thought we found the perfect home for her. This was just before her seventeenth birthday and she wanted nothing to do with it. She took off, and we lost track of her for close to a year. By the time we found her again, she was arrested for prescription drug fraud and placed again in a juvenile detention center. She was released a few weeks after her eighteenth birthday and put into a group home.”
“Why are you telling me all of this?” I ask. “This has nothing to do with me.”
Peggy’s nails threaten to pierce my skin, and I try to pull my arm away from her grasp.
“This has everything to do with you, Mr. Armstrong. You’re Kai’s father, and he needs a good and stable home.” She looks around my house, taking it all in.
“Then find him one. Just not here.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, Peggy gasps and practically draws blood from me.
“We’re trying.” Nicole’s tears are back, and her face begins to blur. The room seems to be tilting or spinning or something.
“Garrett? Are you okay?” Peggy releases her death grip on my arm and calls out to the kitchen. “Heath, can you bring some water?”
He tosses a bottle my way, and I open it up right away. I take a sip then gulp the rest down. I feel like I’m on another planet right now or in a dream. Please let this be a dream.
“We’re trying to find Kai a home. As I mentioned before, I had been working with Sadie again recently, helping her form an adoption plan. She realized she couldn’t take care of her son and was supportive of the plan. She even went as far as selecting a family to potentially adopt him. We had begun working with an attorney who specializes in private adoptions. The day that Kai was born, Sadie tested positive for multiple drugs. We had to disclose this to the adoption attorney, who informed us that the family that he had been working with declined to adopt Kai. Sadie was devastated and left the hospital. That was the last time I saw her—alive.”
“Jesus,” Heath and I say at the same time.
“I don’t know what I can do,” I respond honestly. I’m not equipped to bring a baby into this house. I’m not equipped to take care of anyone. I’m not equipped to be a father.
“Just try to work with me, please. My goal is to place Kai with family. You’re his only family now.”
“This isn’t right. You can’t just come in here and try to throw this major guilt trip my way about a sick little boy who needs a father!” I’m angry at how unfair this situation is and I want her out of my house.
“Garrett!” Peggy’s voice booms throughout the den. “Hear her out. There’s a solution here, and we need to do what’s best for this little boy.”
What the fuck is going on?
“Please listen to me. I’m begging you,” Nicole pleads once again.
“Please, Garrett,” Peggy says calmly.
“Here’s how I can help. I have plenty of money. Let me hire a private investigator and see if we can find some real blood relatives out there. They have to exist.” The possibility of the alternative is terrifying.
“There is nobody else. We’ve tried to find Sadie’s family before. I’ve been trying since she was nine years old. She had no one. She died alone.”
“But there must be a foster home willing to take him, right?” I’m grasping, desperate.
All three sets of eyes in the room turn to me, and I feel them burn through my skull. Judging.
“I’m in a band. Constantly on the road. I can’t commit to this,” I say weakly, suddenly embarrassed.
“Really?” Heath interrupts. “Our tour is over after tomorrow night’s show. Then we have time off before we begin writing our next album. I expect we’ll be here for at least twelve to eighteen months before we’re back on the road again.”
“Exactly! Until we’re back on the road again. Like we are for six to eight months every year. Sleeping on tour buses. Partying like the rock stars that we are. Dude, what are you trying to do?” My fists are clenched, and I’m doing everything I can to not jump up and strangle Heath.
“Why don’t we call your parents?” Peggy quietly interjects. “I know that between me and them, we can help raise this baby in a loving environment and give him the home he deserves.”
Holy shit.
“Leave my parents out of this, Aunt Peggy. They’re in North Carolina and are too far to be involved in this decision.”
“Yes, but they still have a home in town and can be here at a moment’s notice. They’re retired, and I’m sure they would be thrilled to know they have a grandson.”
Is she threatening me? What is she trying to do?
“I don’t know. This is all so crazy. I can’t do this.” The room begins to spin again and this time I think I’m going to throw up.
Nicole fidgets in her seat and looks uncomfortable. She crosses her legs, her eyes sad and pleading.
“Mr. Armstrong, I have to tell you that this is a highly unusual situation, even for me. I shouldn’t even be here, begging you like this. But I feel—I feel responsible for this child’s life more than I can express. If I could take him myself, I would. I have four of my own children at home and a husband who works the night shift. We live in a tiny three-bedroom home and have no room for our own family much less adding another. I wish I could take him. Oh my God, I need to leave. This is wrong…”
Nicole bolts out of the chair and runs toward the front door. My emotions are all over the place and I’m suddenly worried for this baby who everyone keeps telling me is mine. I’m worried that he’ll wind up in some dark alley like Sadie. Alone. Forgotten.
“Wait!” Peggy and I call out in unison. Nicole stops and slowly turns around, and Peggy grabs my hand.
“What were you going to say?” I ask Peggy.
“I was going to tell her that we’ll take him,” she responds quickly. “Isn’t that what you were going to say?”
I swallow heavily and shake my head. “No, Peggy, I plan to offer her money.” The look of disgust on her face chokes me, and I want to hide. Nicole comes back into the room with hope in her eyes, and I’m about to crush her yet again.
Peggy pulls me into a tight hug and says sternly in my ear, “You’ll take your son, and I am going to help. You need to trust me.”
How can this woman have so much control over me? She’s my housekeeper. Someone I barely spend time with. Yet she’s become ingrained in my family. My parents keep tabs on me through her. She’s a fixture here, and now she’s offering to help raise a child I just learned about today.
“Peggy, I don’t—” I can’t seem to say the words that are stuck in my throat, choking the life out of me.
“Nicole, what do we need to do to make this happen?” Peggy interrupts and Nicole lets out a relieved breath.
She fumbles with her cell phone and says, “Let me call the hospital now and make all of the arrangements.”
“Hospital?” I ask hesitantly.
Nicole responds with sadness in her eyes, “Mr. Armstrong, your son is a very sick little boy.”
Peggy grabs my hand and squeezes tight. I look at her with dread.
“We got this,” she says confidently.