Garrett
Present
Villanova, Pennsylvania
Age 27
“OH MY GOD, THAT PIZZA WAS AMAZING,” Sam says, pushing herself away from the table. It’s Pizza Thursday, our third one in a row.
“Amazing,” I say and wipe the crumbs from my mouth.
“If we keep eating like this every week, I’m going to need to buy new clothes.” She pats her flat belly and stretches. I raise my eyebrows and quickly glance at her body. There’s nothing wrong with the way she looks. In fact, she can stand to put on a few pounds. Maybe I’ll institute a Pizza Friday and Saturday.
“What are you smirking at?” she asks.
“Nothing, I was just thinking that I could seriously eat pizza every night,” I respond.
Her grin widens and she gets up to begin cleaning the kitchen. We’ve fallen into a bit of a routine and I like it. I place the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.
“Hey there.” Peggy’s voice fills the room. “It smells wonderful in here.”
“Sorry, Aunt Peggy. We ate it all. We didn’t realize you’d be stopping by.” Sam finishes washing and drying her hands.
“Oh, it’s okay,” Peggy says. “I ate about an hour ago.”
Sam turns to me. “Do you think I can get a swim in before I need to get him ready for his bath and bed?”
Before I can answer, Peggy interjects. “I’ll get him ready tonight.” She pulls a bag from the pharmacy from her purse. “I have a new bath wash I’d like to try. It’s hypoallergenic and soothing. I’m hoping it will help with his nighttime fussiness.”
“Sounds good to me,” Sam says and steps into her flip-flops. “I’m going for a quick swim. Dinner was great, Garrett.” She’s out the door and across the backyard before I know it.
Peggy lifts Kai from his bouncy seat positioned on the floor next to the table. He sat through dinner making cute baby noises while swatting at the toys hanging over his head. A rare moment for him and allowed Sam and I to eat in peace without the threat of a nuclear meltdown. He looks so content and peaceful right now and I don’t know who to thank for giving me and Sam this nice moment.
“Little dude has been having a good time tonight. I think he likes that seat,” I say.
“It’s a wonderful seat. It helps keep him in an upright position so he doesn’t have any GERD issues. It’s also restrictive, in a comfortable way. He likes to feel safe and protected, and the harness on that seat is perfect in fulfilling that need.” She unsnaps him from the seat and gently lifts him to her shoulder.
“I’m going to take him upstairs to bathe him and get him ready for his last bottle and bed. Can you let Sam know she has about an hour to herself before I’m finished?” She nods toward the pool house and heads up the stairs.
“Sure,” I say and walk outside. It’s a beautiful night. The air is crisp and cool, but I know the temperature inside the pool house is a balmy eighty-five degrees. I enter the enclosure and Sam is already doing her laps, unaware of my presence.
I slip into the dressing room and into a pair of swim trunks. When Sam makes her turn at the close end of the pool, I dive in and join her. She’s mid-stroke and lifts her head from the water briefly, then drives her arms ahead. Her strokes are powerful yet graceful. I keep pace with her as we swim thirty more laps, each one more intense than the last.
When we finally touch the wall, we emerge from the water, lungs burning, hearts pumping. Our breathing is hurried and deliberate as we try to fill our lungs with much-needed oxygen.
“Wow,” I pant. “I’ve seen you swim before, but man.” I suck in air and try to slow down my breathing. “That was intense,” I finish.
She’s breathing hard through her mouth and nose as her chest expands and contracts deeply. “I had no idea you were going to join me,” she says.
“Your aunt sent me out here to tell you she’d be done with Kai’s bath and dinner in about an hour. Then I saw you exercising and thought I should join you.” I pat my belly and say, “You know, pizza and all.”
She smirks. “Your six-pack thanks you.” Her eyes linger a little too long on my chest and abs, and she blushes.
“It’s time for my cool-down,” she says and begins to lie back in the water. “Do you want to float with me?”
I suddenly feel like I’m intruding. I know this is her private time, which she uses to decompress from her day. “I should go inside. Leave you to your… thing,” I say.
“You should try it, Garrett. You might enjoy it.” She’s on her back now, arms straight out to her sides and legs outstretched. She closes her eyes, and she allows the water to cover the majority of her body. She looks so serene. Peaceful. Beautiful.
I attempt to assume the same position, but my legs keep dropping to the floor of the pool. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but I can’t get as relaxed as she is. She senses my discomfort, mostly because I’m flailing around, and pops her head out of the water.
She reaches for my hand and lightly holds it. “The key is to relax. Let the water take your body whole. Breathe deeply and exhale slowly. Like this.” She doesn’t let go of my hand as she once again gets into her floating stance.
This time, I do as she instructs and I’m able to float. The water drowns out any external sounds and all I hear are my deep breaths mixing with hers. She releases my hand so only our fingers are touching. We drift apart and I close my eyes. I can hear my heart beating rhythmically in my chest. I’m completely relaxed.
So this is what it’s like.
I don’t know how long we float like this. My eyes remain closed and I’m practically comatose. I have no urgency to get out of the pool. No urgency to be away from her. We’re sharing something special. Almost secret. And I don’t want it to end.
I feel movement next to me, and I’m jarred from my position. “Sorry.” Her soft voice echoes throughout the room. “I didn’t mean to disturb you. I was just about to head up to the house and I wanted to make sure you knew I was leaving.”
“Do we have to go?” I ask and suddenly feel terrible for not wanting to go inside to be with my son. I’m selfish.
“No, you can stay. I have to relieve my aunt in a little while,” she says and makes her way through the pool to the stairs.
“Wait up,” I call after her. “I’ll come too.”
We dry off next to each other, and I do everything in my power not to stare at her incredible body. She’s half naked next to me and I want to throw her over my shoulder and take her into the dressing room.
“Good job keeping up with me,” she says. “I didn’t think you had it in you.” Her teeth shine through her wide smile, and I can’t help but laugh.
“I don’t think I’ve swam that many laps ever,” I say. “As a matter of fact, it’s probably only the third or fourth time I’ve actually been in my own pool. And I’ve had it for several years.”
She looks at me incredulously. “Really?” she asks.
“Yeah,” I say, ashamed. “I can’t believe I don’t take advantage of having an indoor pool more often.”
“Well, you totally should,” she says. She looks up at the house, and from here it looks tremendous. I feel embarrassed again for the luxury around me and wish it was less over the top.
She wraps the towel around her shoulders and slips her flip-flops on. “Coming?”
“Yeah,” I say, and we step outside.
She immediately shivers and sprints to the back door. “It’s cold out here!” she calls back.
Once we’re inside, it takes her a few minutes before her shivers subside. I once again restrain myself from wrapping my body around hers to keep her warm.
“We should do that more often,” I say without thinking.
She smirks. “So Pizza Thursday and Swim Thursday?” Her grin is huge.
“Well, you said it yourself, eating pizza like that, we’re going to need to work it off somehow.”
She blushes again and shivers at the same time.
She fixes Kai’s bottles for the night and is ready to head upstairs. “I had a nice time tonight, Garrett. Thank you,” she says and walks toward the stairs.
“There’s nothing to thank me for,” I say. “I’ll be up to relieve you in a few hours. Sound good?”
She nods. “You don’t have to, you know. But I’ll never turn down a few hours of sleep in a real bed.”
My bed would be perfect.
“See you later,” I say as I watch her walk away.
A few minutes later, Peggy comes down and finds me in the kitchen. “It was nice of you to join Sam for a swim,” she says. She has a look in her eye like she knows everything that I’m thinking. It makes me uncomfortable.
She packs up her bag and grabs her keys. “See you tomorrow,” she says. “Make sure you leave me a list of things you need. I’ll be going shopping.”
Peggy is a gift. A Godsend. She takes care of everything I could possibly need and she brought Sam into my life. I don’t know what I’d be doing if she weren’t here. I realize I probably would have turned Kai away and made the situation disappear. I would have thrown as much money as possible at whoever could take Kai. I wouldn’t have my son, and I have Peggy to thank for that.
“Goodnight, Peggy,” I say.
I close up downstairs for the night and go up to my room. After a long, hot shower, I’m dressed in sweats and a tee-shirt.
Kai’s door at the end of the hallway is slightly ajar, and I quietly walk down the hall to his room. He and Sam are sound asleep in the rocking chair. Her hair is still partially wet and pulled into a high bun on the top of her head. It’s a mess and beautiful at the same time. Her head is tilted to the side, and Kai’s head is burrowed into her neck, just under her chin. He has a fist in his mouth that he’s sucking on, and the other is tight on her chest. Their breathing is in sync and perfect.
She looks so peaceful with my son in her arms, I can’t bring myself to wake her up. I pick up an extra blanket from the day-bed and gently drape it over the two of them, momentarily resting my hands on either side of her. I’m so close to her, I can smell the oil that she uses after she swims. Her skin smells like clean and fresh linens. She exhales deeply and her warm breath touches my face. I reluctantly pull away in fear of waking them up.
The day-bed is welcoming and familiar, and I lie down facing them both. I’ll be ready when she needs a break and when my son needs strong, protective hands to soothe him. But can I be strong for him? Can I be the father that he needs me to be?
Sam’s words from a few weeks ago ring in my head as I close my eyes.
“You have to believe, Garrett. Otherwise you have nothing.”