Marin

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He waltzed in the door without a care in the world but looked like the biggest man-whore I’d ever seen. Did the man not realize he had a daughter? Granted, she was only seven, but still. And the stench … how much alcohol had he consumed last night? Then he disappeared for hours. Again, an absentee dad. He was no longer Dr. Grouch or Dr. Asshole. He was Dr. Ghost.

I was supposed to have yesterday and today off, but I guess he forgot. Or just got drunk and laid and didn’t give a shit. I decided to roll in plan B.

“So guys, wanna go see a movie?”

Their eyes lit up, only Aaron’s always did that when you asked him something.

“Can we get popcorn and Skittles?” Kinsley asked.

“You bet we can.”

“Yay!”

Off we went and ended up seeing the cute movie about the little minion characters. Oh, the kids laughed and laughed, even though I doubted Aaron knew what was going on. I laughed like they did, though I seethed inside. Over the past weeks, I’d had a few chats with my mom and explained some things about Dr. Ghost. I told her how I was going to all the parent-teacher conferences, with the kids in tow, how he practically ignored Aaron, and how he was never around. Mom was genuinely shocked.

“Well, darn it, Marin, I just don’t know what to say.”

“He’s a dick, Mom.”

“Marin, don’t say that. He’s been through so much.”

“Yeah, well, don’t make your kids go through it too. I’m just sayin’. Honestly, I’m their mom and dad rolled into one. And it’s not fair to them. They are the most adorably perfect kids ever.”

“Thank God for that. At least they’re not hellions.”

“He should be thankful, but he doesn’t give a shit.”

When we came home from the movies, Dr. Ghost was watching TV. “I wondered where you went.”

My snarky mouth mumbled, “I’m surprised you even noticed we were gone.”

Kinsley said, “We went to the movies, Daddy. Saw those minion things. They were funny.”

“Minion things?”

“Jeez, you really are out of touch,” I said.

He shrugged and said, “Can I have a word with you?”

We went to the kitchen and he said, “I’m calling the movers tomorrow. We only have four weeks and I’d like to move as soon as the house is painted. There are only a few rooms that need to be done since the place is new. We’ll start packing up a room at a time. Then we’ll get the kids’ and your room done.”

“That makes no sense. That’ll put us between houses and living in two places.”

“No, it won’t. I have it all planned out with the painters on a spreadsheet. I talked to them this afternoon. It’s all good.”

He and his stupid spreadsheets. “Fine. Just tell me what and when I need to have it done.”

“I’m hiring a muralist to paint the kids’ rooms. I want them to have nice pictures of whatever they want. Kinsley mentioned giraffes and angels. She can decide what else she wants to be added and then the decorator will coordinate accordingly. But you’ll have to pick out Aaron’s.”

“Me? Why me?”

“You’re with him all the time.” He said it like I was an idiot. Was he for real?

“Why not you? You’re his father. Or haven’t you noticed?” He glanced away and didn’t look at me again.

“You’ll do it. I’m never here.”

“Oh, really. I wasn’t aware.” Dr. Ghost.

His mouth opened as though he wanted to say something but then clamped it shut. He rose to his feet and walked away. Everything about him was so weird. I needed to quit trying to analyze his craziness. This wasn’t my business. Or was it? The truth was those children didn’t occupy a corner of my heart. They now owned a large chunk of its real estate and my concern was genuine. I wanted things to be right with him because of those precious kids.

The night he talked to me about my writing, I had started a journal. Every day I wrote something, even if it was just a line or two. I looked back now and noticed if I would’ve charted his behavior, it would look like a zigzag. Why was he so mercurial? He seemed to have everything in life, right at his fingertips. I just couldn’t seem to figure him out.

The next few weeks flew by. Between the end of the school year, Aaron’s upcoming birthday with me trying to pull a family get together for him—and was that really my job?—and moving, I was at my wit’s end. I had gone from being a bartender to being a full-time mother/housekeeper/and now moving coordinator. I didn’t have a clue as to what I was doing. The jerkface even wanted me to direct the movers on moving day.

“I may be on call that day,” he informed me.

“Oh, no, you don’t. That’s it. If you’re on call, I quit.”

“What! You can’t quit.”

“Says who? I can do what I want. Besides, you’re the most ridiculous boss with the most absurd expectations I’ve ever encountered, and that includes my former unethical employer.” There, I said it. He stood there staring at me as though I wore a black witch’s hat. I wish I had those kinds of awesome powers at the moment. I would zap that ass of his, which was so damn tight it could probably snap a ten penny nail in half. I almost chuckled at my little joke.

“No, you can’t possibly quit.”

“The hell I can’t. I will not be in charge of your move. That is your responsibility. This is your house. I’ve done just about everything else. Do you not see how wrong all of this is?” My arm swept out in front of me. I stood and waited for an answer. He only gaped at me like a stupid guppy. “For someone who went to medical school, you sure are as stupid as a box of rocks.”

“I am not stupid.”

“Then stop acting like it and take control of your own household. Be a man for God’s sake.” I stomped out of the room. My feet were beginning to ache from all this stomping. This man was grating on my last nerve. Then guilt rained down upon me as I thought about those sweet little angels who needed someone to love them. And I caved every time. Turning around I said, “Okay. I won’t quit, but by doozy, you’d better take responsibility for this move.” I aimed my pointer finger at him and added, “No on call tomorrow. Do I make myself clear? Or I’m out the door.”

He raised his hands in the air and said, “Perfectly. No on call.”

The man kept his word. He was there for the movers and all the unpacking of the boxes. It was a mess too with the kids to keep track of. I never could’ve done it without him. At the end of the day, he thanked me profusely. Over and over. He’d never done that before.

I gawked at him.

“What?” he asked.

“I, uh, I’m shocked.” And I was … genuinely.

“Why?”

“You never thank me.”

“Yes, I do.”

Then I chuckled. It quickly turned into an all-out howl. Tears poured down my cheeks as I doubled over and slapped my knee. The man was delusional.

“What is wrong with you?”

I held a hand in the air, trying to catch my breath. When I could breathe again, I sucked in a lungful of air and said, “There’s nothing wrong with me. It’s you who has the problem.” I walked away, hoping he’d ponder my statement.

Kinsley and Aaron were in the new living room where the electronic guru who Dr. Delusional had hired was hooking up the TV to the newly installed cable. Thankfully I had been forward thinking to have that done ahead of time because you-know-who sure hadn’t. I had also made sure the water, gas, and electric would be turned on, reminding him he needed to transfer the service over. The guru was also outfitting the entire house with the camera system that the other house had. This one would be wireless and secure. As much as the doctor spent on this stuff, one would think he gave a shit about his family.

“Kinsley, Aaron, make sure you don’t get in the nice man’s way, okay?”

“Okay, Marnie.” Aaron mumbled something unintelligible.

“Hey kiddos, I have an idea. I’m going upstairs to make up your beds. Why don’t you guys come with me.”

“Okay. Come on Aaron,” Kinsley said.

He gave us both a slobbery grin. I picked him up and we climbed the massive staircase. This house was even larger than the last. Maybe Dr. Delusional wanted to be Dr. Disappearing Act so he could go missing in here and the kids wouldn’t be able to find him at all.

“Marnie, do you like it here?”

“Um, yeah, I do. It’s a real pretty place. Do you?”

“Nuh uh. Mommy won’t know where we live now.”

We were navigating the long hallway toward our rooms, so I stopped and dropped to my knees, as I still held Aaron. He thought I was playing, so he laughed.

“Honey, your mommy is an angel now, remember? She’ll always know where you live. That’s how angels work. They know everything. She’s with you right now.”

“She is?”

“Absolutely. And she already knows what your new room looks like and that it has giraffes, elephants, and angels on the walls. She also knows it has stars on the ceiling.”

“She does?”

“Yep. And you want to know what else?”

“What?

“I bet she loves them and would tell you if she could.”

Kinsley threw herself at Aaron and me, knocking us backward. The three of us ended up on the floor in a big heap, laughing. That’s how Dr. Delusional found us.

“What’s going on here?”

Kinsley looked over her shoulder at him. “Marnie told me Mommy liked my new room and would always be able to find me.”

“Polka dot, I’m pretty sure Marin is right.” Without another word, he about-faced and headed toward his room, which was at the opposite end of the hall. So much for family time.

“Come on, short stuff, let’s get those beds made up.” It took twice as long with Aaron in the room because every time I put the sheet on one corner of the bed, he’d pull it off. He thought we were playing a game, and honestly, it was hard not to laugh at him. Cuteness all wrapped up in sweet was a hard combination not to love.

We finished in Kinsley’s room, then went to mine. It was a wreck. I still had boxes to unpack. Kinsley opened one that wasn’t taped and pulled out a couple of framed pictures.

“Who’s this, Marnie?”

I looked up to see what she held, and what used to crush me to smithereens only pinched a little now. It was a picture of my ex and me.

“Oh, that’s my old boyfriend.”

“What happened to him? Is he an angel now like Mommy?” I wished I could tell her he was a cheating demon prick but that wasn’t quite appropriate for a seven-year-old.

“No, sweetie. We just didn’t quite see eye to eye and broke up.”

“What does that mean? Broke up?”

“Well, it means he’s not my boyfriend anymore.”

“Oh, like Jordan and Brianna at school?”

“I suppose so, even though I don’t know who they are.” I’m pretty fucking sure Brianna didn’t find Jordan’s face buried in some other chick’s pussy, but I didn’t go there.

That seemed to satisfy her, so she put the pictures back in the box. Then she opened a plastic bin. I was busy with making up the bed, so I wasn’t paying much attention. Most of my focus was on the bed and Aaron. Suddenly, I heard a buzzing noise. My head jerked up to find her holding my vibrator. Fuck me.

“Kinsley, put that away!”

“What is it, Marnie? Is it a toy?”

“Yes. I mean, no! Put it back! Now!”

She laughed and ran out of the room, holding the damn thing in the air. I scooped up Aaron and chased her. I heard her laughing all the way down the hall. Dammit, she better not … and fuck me if she didn’t.

“Daddy, look what I found.”

Dr. Delusional walked out of his room, took one look at Kinsley, and asked, “Where did you get that?” Then he saw me chasing her. A smirk appeared on his scruff-covered face, and then he broke into a howl. And Jesus, help me, did he ever sound sexy when he laughed. After he could finally speak, he said, “Polka dot, I believe the owner of that would appreciate it if you would return it to her. And you might want to turn it off first.”

“What is it, Daddy?”

“I think you should let Marnie explain.” It was the first time he’d called me Marnie. He leaned his long frame against the wall as he crossed his arms, waiting for my explanation. Kinsley turned and extended her hand out to me, with said vibrator in it.

I grabbed the damn thing from her and turned it off.

“Uh, Kinsley, like I said earlier, this is a kind of toy, but it’s for grown-ups.” My face grew as hot as the Sahara.

“But how does it work?”

Dr. Smart Ass snickered, damn him.

“It’s sort of hard to explain. It’s a grown-up kind of thing. Why don’t we go and finish in my room and then I’ll read to you and Aaron.”

“Do you play with it?”

“In a manner of speaking.”

“But how?”

Jesus, please come into this house and rescue me from this travesty.

Right as I was opening my mouth to answer her, Dr. West said, “Polka dot, you’re a persistent little thing, aren’t you? Were you snooping in Marin’s things? Is that how you found it?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Come here, please.”

She walked over to where he stood. “Remember what I taught you about that?”

“I’m not supposed to snoop.”

“That’s right. What do you say to Marin?”

She turned to me and said, “I’m sorry.”

Then he surprised me by hoisting her high into the air and saying, “Good girl.” Then he planted a kiss on her forehead.

I scurried back to my room, tail tucked between my legs, vibrator in one hand, the other hand holding Aaron’s as I practically dragged him behind me. I had to hide that damn toy somewhere. I stuffed it between the mattress and box springs before Little Miss Snoopy got back to the room so this didn’t happen again. Then I quickly finished making up the bed and went into Aaron’s room. His was easy since he was still in the crib. Kinsley hadn’t reappeared, so I figured she was still with her dad. About damn time.

Aaron and I went back downstairs to the kitchen. This was going to be a bear of a task. Most of the unpacking had been done, but I had no idea where anything was. Dr. West and Kinsley walked in and she shouted that she was hungry. I didn’t dare look him in the eye. That vibrator incident would never be forgotten. Rushing over to the refrigerator, I opened it up to inspect the contents, only to find there were none. Well shit. Then I blurted out, “I need to go shopping.”

He bit his lips for a second and I just knew he was dying to say something. Thank God he didn’t. Instead, he ran his hand through his hair, and said, “I really need to get my office arranged.” Then his tongue poked the inside of his cheek. Why was I all of a sudden finding him so sexy? Ugh.

For once I didn’t mind this task. It would get me away from this situation and by the time we got back, maybe he would’ve forgotten the sordid incident. “Come on kids, let’s go to the store.” I corralled them and off we went.

While we were there, I had Aaron in the baby carrier strapped to my chest, and Kinsley usually held my hand. But I was picking out meat for our dinners, and Kinsley hollered, “Look, Marnie, it’s the man from the picture.” At first, it didn’t click, but when I turned to see who she was pointing at, it clobbered me like a giant log to the side of my head. Damien stood there, holding my former best friend’s hand. They stared at me for a second and then laughed. They laughed!

My feet froze to the floor. I wanted to run, to hide, but I couldn’t. Kinsley grabbed my hand and swung them like she always did. They walked toward us, their laughter replaced with giggles.

“Hmm, taking care of kids now, Marin? Looks like you’ve done a great job of climbing up the career ladder,” Damien said.

“Hi! My name’s Kinsley. My brother is Aaron. What’s yours?”

Bless her adorable heart.

“I’m Damien. This is Dawn.”

“Hi there,” Dawn said.

They looked from the kids to me. I smiled.

“So, Mare, what’s up?”

“Not much. You?”

Dawn shoved her hand into my face and announced, “We’re getting married.”

“Congratulations. You two deserve each other,” I said sourly.

“Hmm, looks like you got what you deserve too, Marin,” Dawn said.

She was referring to my situation in life. Fucker.

“Yeah, well, just remember. Once a cheater, always a cheater.” Then I grabbed the cart handle and pushed it away from them.

Kinsley asked as we walked, “Did they cheat in school on their tests?”

“Something like that. Okay, so what kind of fruit do you want, honey?” We finished shopping, loaded up the car, and drove home.

After what I just experienced, I wasn’t in the mood to do all the unloading. On my first trip in, I marched into the doctor’s office and instructed him to get his butt outside and help me.

“Since when do you give me orders? I was under the impression you are my employee and not the other way around.”

“Is that right? Tell you what. From now on we won’t have to worry about that employer/employee relationship.”

I didn’t give him the opportunity to object or to say a single word. Without a thought, I went out to the car, took all the grocery bags out, set them in the driveway and drove off. As I did, I saw him run out, waving his arms. My phone rang a few minutes later, but I didn’t answer. It was over. He’d done his best to abuse my role as the nanny and I’d done my best to fulfill it. I couldn’t do work for the ungrateful shit any longer. Working for him was like working for a … well, there were no words for it.

When I pulled into Mom and Dad’s driveway, their car was gone. That was probably a good thing. They would’ve told me to turn around and go back. But seeing Damien and Dawn, dealing with that, and then all the shit I’d been handling for the last few months, had done its best to piss me off something terrible. Maybe I needed to go back to school. Maybe law school. I don’t know, but I had some figuring out to do.