Greydon

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Blue eyes that used to sparkle like the sky on a bright summer’s day were lifeless and without joy. Surely, I was the source of the pain lurking within their depths. I had forgiven her for the DNA kit. But the trust issue was something different. Why couldn’t I move past that? My head was trapped in what Susannah did. Everyone I discussed it with said I couldn’t compare the two. But I did, wrong or right.

The way I figured, I’d get over it when the time was right. But the way she figured, that decision wasn’t mine to make. She’d already made it. She was leaving us, so I was already separating from her—physically and mentally.

Kinsley ran up to me and grabbed my leg. “Daddy, I think Marnie has a tummy ache.”

“Why do you think that, honey?”

“Cuz she’s in the bathroom and it sounds like her tummy hurts.”

“Okay. Why don’t you stay here while I check on her? I don’t want you going outside of this room. Promise, polka dot?”

“Promise. Can I watch TV?”

“Sure.” I turned it on and found something in English for her to watch. I hadn’t located the DVDs we’d brought yet, but I needed to see if Marin was okay first.

I stood outside the bathroom door and heard muffled noises. I didn’t think she was ill. It sounded more like she was upset and crying. This wasn’t an ideal situation. Maybe I should sleep in here with the kids and let her have the big room.

After a few knocks on the door, I tried the handle and found it unlocked.

“Hey,” I said. She was sitting on the side of the tub with her head in her hands.

“I guess a closed door doesn’t mean privacy to you,” she murmured.

“Kinsley thought you were sick.”

She wouldn’t lift her head.

“Marin, maybe it would be better if you took the larger room and I stayed with the kids. That would give you more space to yourself.”

She pushed to her feet and walked over to the sink. After she blew her nose and wiped her eyes, she said, “This trip was a mistake. Maybe I should go home.”

Oh shit. I couldn’t stay here without her help. “Please don’t leave. I need your help.”

“You really don’t understand, do you?”

Her eyes glistened with tears and her lashes were wet with the remnants of them.

“Yes, I do. I know you need your space from me and you’re moving away from me … from us, but—”

Her brow creased and she said, “That’s not it at all.” She clasped her hands. “I love you, Grey. There, it’s out even though I swore I wouldn’t say it. Do you know how difficult it is being close to you when you can barely stand to be near me?”

When she said those words, I nearly stumbled. It was sheer force of will that kept me standing on my two feet. “I … I didn’t know.”

“Of course you didn’t. You’re so damn wrapped up in your own head over what happened to you and your dead wife.”

“That’s not fair.”

“No? What’s happening between us isn’t fair either. I didn’t ask for this.”

“Neither did I,” I growled.

The handle on the door jiggled and I knew who it was. Aaron was on the other side. “We’ll discuss this later when we have some privacy.” I opened the door to see the grinning face of my son. I picked him up high in the air, kissing his neck, and he kicked his legs. Then I carried him into what was to have been my room and dragged my huge bag over to the room the kids were in. Kinsley followed.

“Whatcha doin’, Daddy?”

“I decided I’m going to have a spend the night party with you two while we’re on vacation and we’re going to let Marin have the big room.”

Kinsley’s hazel eyes popped with gold sparks. “Really Daddy? You never have a spend the night party with me or Aaron.”

“It’s time we started. Won’t it be fun?”

“Yeah. You can read us stories all night long.”

“Don’t forget, you still have to sleep.”

“We can after you read us the stories.”

I laughed at my daughter with all the answers. After my luggage was settled, we took Marin’s and placed it in the big room. Kinsley looked sad.

“What’s wrong, honey?” I asked.

“Won’t Marnie be afraid in here all by herself?”

“She’ll be fine.”

Marin was seated on the bed and Kinsley jumped up next to her. “You won’t be scared, Marnie?”

“If I am, I’ll come and get you and you can sleep with me. How does that sound?”

Kinsley clapped her hands. “Yay. I can sleep with Marnie in the big bed.”

I may have created a monster with this scenario. “Polka dot, you can only sleep with Marin if she gets scared, okay?”

“Okay, Daddy. But can you help me find the DVDs cuz there’s nothing to watch on TV. I don’t understand what they say sometimes.”

That made Marin laugh and she offered to help Kinsley find them while I took care of Aaron.

Later that evening we walked around outside and found a quaint little restaurant for dinner. During dinner, I’d catch Marin wiping her eyes. I knew she didn’t want any of us to see, but she couldn’t hide all the tears. Afterward, we came home and went to bed.

My conference wasn’t until the following day, so I thought we could make a trip to the zoo. Upon checking with the concierge, I arranged for transportation and we left later that morning.

Kinsley went crazy and Aaron loved it too. The zoo offered feeding of many animals, including arctic Siberian tigers, and giant tortoises. Even I was amazed by it. Then we visited the koalas where Kinsley asked if we could have a pet one. She begged and begged, but I told her she’d have to settle for a stuffed one instead.

Marin was quiet as she took it all in. I knew she enjoyed the animals, but she wasn’t as expressive as she usually was.

“Come on, Marnie. Let's go see the pandas,” Kinsley said. She grabbed Marin’s hand and they walked toward where the pandas were kept. I pushed Aaron in his stroller and he constantly reached for things. Even though he was getting tired, he was still curious and good-natured. We took a break after we watched the giant pandas play around and Kinsley decided she wanted one of them too.

“Honey, it seems like you want one of everything here,” I said. “We’d have to get a bigger house to fit them all inside.”

“Nope. Not all. Not one of those giant turtles. They didn’t smell so good.”

Marin laughed. It was so good to hear that sound.

“Short stuff, I didn’t smell anything.”

“Neither did I.”

Kinsley pinched her nose and said, “I did. It was yucky.”

“You must’ve been close to their stinky,” Marin said.

“Turtles make stinkies?” Kinsley asked.

“Yeah. All animals do. Just like people.”

“How come?”

Oh, God, I’d missed these conversations between the two of them.

“Because they just do.” Marin looked to me for help, only I smiled and shrugged. She discretely flipped me off so the kids couldn’t see. I hid the huge grin that covered my face.

“Because why?”

“Well, if you eat, you make a stinky,” she answered.

Kinsley wrinkled up her little brow something furious. “Nuh huh. That’s not right. Is it, Daddy?”

“Afraid so. Marin is right.”

“Ick. I’m not gonna eat no more.”

“Any more,” Marin corrected.

Kinsley’s face looked like she just ate a lemon. It was so funny that I snapped a quick picture of her. Then I said, “Speaking of, I’m starving.”

“Me too,” Marin said.

“Let’s find lunch.” I checked the time and was shocked to see it was almost three. “Geez, it’s almost supper time. How about we get a huge snack, like some ice cream, and then after we see a couple more animals, head back to the hotel for dinner instead?”

“Yay! Ice cream,” Kinsley yelled.

“I didn’t think you were going to eat anymore,” Marin said.

“But I’m hungry so I gotta.”

She tickled Kinsley in the ribs. “That’s what I thought.”

We found an ice cream parlor and all got sundaes made with gelato. And they were delicious. Then we were off to see the penguins, elephants, and our last stop was at the coati display. One of the zookeepers had one on a leash and Aaron went crazy over it. I’m not sure if it was its long striped tail or its long nose, but the kid loved that thing. It was gentle enough to pet, so Aaron ran his chubby hand along its back and kicked his legs in excitement. I think he would’ve stuffed the thing in his diaper bag if he were capable of it.

As we walked away, he kept looking back with his little arms stretched out. Marin took a ton of pictures of him with it and I couldn’t wait to see them all. Both kids fell asleep on the way back to the hotel.

“Maybe we should order room service tonight,” I suggested. “With both of them asleep, I hate to wake them up.”

“I’ll do whatever. It doesn’t matter. But I think they both had a great time.”

“I do too. That was a great experience for them.” And a better one for me watching them.

When we got to the suite, I suggested putting them both to bed.

“If we do that, they’ll be up all night,” Marin said as she was sitting down with Aaron on her lap. I had the stroller in one hand and Kinsley in the other. She looked up at me and jumped back to her feet.

“Sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” She grabbed the stroller and I laid Kinsley on the couch.

“What should we do?” I checked the time. “It’s already nearly six.”

“I say we order dinner and then wake them up to eat. Afterward, we bathe them and put them to bed.”

I stretched out the kinks in my back. It wasn’t hard to notice her staring at me and my dick jumped to life. Maybe I needed to jump in the shower while we waited for the food and I could take care of business.

“Fine. I’m gonna shower. Will you order dinner? I’ll eat whatever.”

I hurried out of the room with her staring at my back. I didn’t want her to notice the damn bulge in my pants. That was something I didn’t want to contend with right now. I had enough going on in my head.