When Julian took me to a sketchy part of town, I became a little uncomfortable, but he put me at ease.

“This area used to be really rough, but it’s started cleaning up over the last year or two,” he said. “All those old adult porno sex shops are being replaced by cute cupcake and stationary stores.”

I snorted. “Cupcakes really are the first sign of gentrification.”

We stopped in front of a dented metal door. Julian pushed through to what looked like a kind of dank dive bar with low lights and sticky floors. I didn’t mind. I’d been in places worse than this.

Instead of taking a seat, he lead me down a hallway past the bartender. He kept going, heading toward a restroom with an out of order sign on it.

“Um—” I started to say.

But as he opened the door, I saw the inside wasn’t a restroom. It was another bar, this one even sketchier and stickier than the last. Rough looking guys in leather biker jackets were at a pool table and a muscled older man was washing mugs behind the bar.

“Um—” I said again, not able to find the words to express my reservations after he’d invited me. “This… is your cool bar?”

“It’s a private bar,” he said. “No one will bother you. Walt makes sure of that.” He nodded to the guy behind the bar, who I assumed was Walt.

Although the biker guys looked rough, true to Julian’s word, they spared me little more than a second glance before returning to their game.

Julian lead me to the bar. I took a seat on one of the stools. The stuffing was falling out of a rip in the cushion, but it was still surprisingly comfy.

“What can I getcha?” Walt asked in a gruff voice that wasn’t necessarily unkind.

“I’ll have a beer,” Julian said.

“You?” Walt asked.

“I’ll have what he’s having,” I said.

Julian side-eyed me as he took a sip of the beer Walt had placed in front of him.

I picked up my own and also drank. I immediately made a face.

“I knew you didn’t like beer,” Julian said, almost accusingly.

“It’s fine,” I said. “I’ll drink it.”

“What do you really want?” he asked.

I paused, thinking back to the years before Keith. It seemed so long ago. I dithered back and forth, trying to decide. Julian stared at me, waiting.

“Rum and Coke,” I finally blurted out.

“Coming right up,” Walt said, making me jump. I hadn’t realized he’d been listening.

Julian and I sat in silence until Walt handed me a glass filled to the brim. We both nursed our drinks. I snuck glances at him.

What had he been trying to say back there?

“So you liked the show?” Julian asked with another sip of his beer.

Whatever it had been, I knew that wasn’t it.

“The show was amazing,” I said. “You guys are so intense up there, and your sound works so well together. Plus Cerise is amazing as a front woman. She’s basically got the audience eating out of the palm of her hand.”

“We wouldn’t be Cherry Lips without Cerise,” Julian said. “She’s what pulls us all together.”

Talking about Julian’s current band wasn’t why I’d agreed to come with him. I wanted to throttle him and tell him to just spit it out. Was he stalling? Or had he decided to drop the subject, whatever it was?

I was about to open my mouth and demand he just tell me when a man sidled up to the bar beside us. Julian looked startled before a chagrined expression crossed his face.

I turned my head to get a look at the guy, wondering what had caused Julian’s reaction. He looked normal enough, broad-shouldered with dirty blond hair, a bit shaggy and in need of a good cut.

“Hey, Julian,” the guy said. The corners of his mouth tugged up in a sad smile. “Long time no see.”

“Aaron,” Julian greeted him. “It’s been a while.”

“How’ve you been?” Aaron asked, sounding like he was only saying it to be polite.

“I’ve been good,” Julian said simply. “What are you doing here?”

“Meeting with some friends,” he said. “I didn’t realize you’d be here. I can—”

“No, it’s cool,” Julian said. “We’re just getting a quick drink.”

“Right,” Aaron said, flicking his eyes briefly to me. “I’ll let you get back to it. Just wanted to say hi.”

“Good seeing you.”

Julian let out a sigh of relief as soon as the guy left.

“Who was that?” I asked.

“An old ex,” Julian said with a grimace. He ran a hand through his hair. “We were pretty serious. But it didn’t end well.”

I snuck a look at Aaron. He was handsome enough. I could see Julian going for a guy like him.

Then realization dawned on me.

Julian was dating other people.

He said it had gotten serious.

“When did you break up?” I asked.

“About half a year ago,” Julian said. “He couldn’t take the touring, me being away all the time. He heard all these rumors about groupies and stuff. Made him jealous.”

Out of all the reasons musicians broke up, those tended to be the main reasons.

But that meant Julian had been dating someone as recent as six months ago. They’d gotten serious.

He wouldn’t have gotten serious with someone if he was still in love with Seth, would he?

A little spark of hope lit up within me.

Maybe I’d been wrong.

Maybe there was a chance for me and Julian to…

A girl in heavy makeup and a leather corset holding a tray of drinks appeared beside us.

“Hi there!” she said cheerfully. “You guys good for drinks?”

“Hey, Jessie,” Julian said. “We’re good for now, thanks.”

“Oh yeah,” she said, nodding at Julian. “I actually wanted to talk to you about Gael’s birthday.”

“That’s coming up soon, right?” he replied.

“It is!” She beamed, her face lighting up. “I need to surprise him somehow, but it’s impossible. He knows all the tricks in the books.”

“And you’re looking for some help?” Julian guessed.

“Exactly,” Jessie said. “You mind talking to me and Walt for a second?”

“Sure.” Julian slid off his seat and patted my arm. “Jessie is Gael’s boyfriend.”

As soon as he said it, the name rang a bell. Gael was the bassist of Cherry Lips, Cerise’s brother.

“I’ll be right back,” Julian continued.

Julian left with Jessie, who I assumed worked at the bar.

I nursed my drink and turned my attention to the bar patrons. The leather jacket guys were still playing pool. Aaron’s group of friends chatted and laughed at a round table near the entrance. There was a solitary man sitting in a dark corner writing in a thick notebook, every so often lifting his eyes from the paper to survey the room. We caught each other's gaze once or twice, but he immediately ducked his head back down and went back to scribbling with his fountain pen.

I watched Walt clean up the bar area, washing mugs and wiping down spills. For such a beefy man, he was oddly graceful, as if every movement was a choreographed dance. He was clearly at ease in this dive bar atmosphere.

“Hey,” said a voice from behind me.

I turned to find Aaron standing with his hands in his pockets, an odd expression on his face. Almost embarrassed, but determined.

“Can I help you?” I asked.

“I just wanted to ask…” He huffed out a laugh and rubbed the stubble on his chin. “This is so rude. I shouldn’t even be here.”

Curiosity piqued, I swiveled on my stool to face him. “What is it?”

“Are you and Julian dating?” he asked bluntly.

I stared at him. “How is that any of your business?”

“It’s not,” he said with a shrug. “But me and Julian had a great thing together. He’s a good guy. Then it all turned to shit.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“It’’s not like I’m trying to warn you off or anything,” he hurried to say. “But our break up was a shit show.” He sighed heavily and looked away. “It’s not my business anymore, but I thought maybe I should say something. I wouldn’t want to see anyone else get hurt.”

“Hurt how?” I asked. “Julian said you broke up because you couldn’t handle him living the rock style lifestyle. Touring, fans, the whole thing.”

He pursed his lips. “It was partly that.”

I understood what went unsaid.

“What was the other part?” I asked.

“Like I said, Julian’s a great guy. I really loved him.” His eyebrows drew down. “Or, I thought I loved him. I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I’m just saying…”

Aaron looked me in the eyes, giving me that same sad smile he gave Julian.

“I’m just saying, it’s hard to be with a guy who’s in love with someone else.”