I expected the rage I felt whenever Julian said Seth’s name would return when Seth popped up in front of us.

Instead, I was filled with a sort of nostalgic melancholy.

I’d once considered Seth one of my closest friends. We’d been in the band together for years. We’d shared laughs and tears, triumphs and failures, together.

I remembered the very first time I’d seen him put sticks to drums. I’d been fascinated by his wild, frenetic energy, by the manic look in his eyes when he played. He always put one hundred percent of himself into his performance, and then some. Seth had always been a bundle of spirit, always so animated and lively and he channeled it all into his playing.

Whereas Julian was more reserved, more cautious and deliberate, Seth threw himself into everything with gusto.

But there had also been times when that lively guy disappeared and I caught a hint of the Seth that was so rarely seen. Once, we’d lost our rehearsal space because we couldn’t pay the fee and had to scramble for an alternative. He’d been so downcast, so worried that the band wouldn't be able to go on. So worried we’d give up.

When I finally realized how distraught he was, I sat him down and told him nothing would ever come between us and the music. We were all in it together, and we would do whatever it took to succeed. Even if it meant getting second and third jobs on the side. Even if we had to sell all our stuff, like old clothes, signed copies of our favorite albums, even selling our goddamn plasma at blood donor clinics.

We’d done a lot of shit to make it work.

Maybe we hadn’t been through everything Julian and I had, but I still considered Seth a dear friend.

Until he stole the love of my life away from me.

“Hey,” I said. The greeting came out short, more curt than I’d intended.

Seth’s auburn hair stuck up in all directions, as wild as I remembered, as wild as him. His green eyes watched me carefully as he sized me up.

“How’s it going?” Seth asked. He was aiming for polite but I could hear the wariness in his voice.

I didn’t know what he had to be wary about. Maybe he was worried I was holding a grudge for him leaving the band.

He wasn’t exactly wrong.

But if he thought I was going to snap and call him out or start a fight, he was mistaken.

“I’ve been good,” I told him. “You?”

“Never been better.”

“Seems we might be working together.”

“Right,” he nodded. “Julian told me.”

I had to wonder exactly what else Julian had told Seth.

Had he told him about all those times we’d gotten close to each other? All those moments of tension? All those small touches and intense stares?

“I knew Julian was interviewing people,” Seth continued. “I never in a million years thought you might be one of them.”

“Small world,” I said.

Seth’s tense shoulders relaxed as he realized I wasn’t going to cause a scene. Julian watched the two of us, his whole demeanor tense and strained.

Seth turned to him.

“Awesome show out there,” he said, the grin returning to his face. “You rocked, as always.”

Julian’s face brightened and returned Seth’s grin.

“Of course I rocked,” he said. “Did you ever doubt?”

“Not for a second,” Seth said cheerfully. “You’ve been on fire these last few shows. Don’t know where you’re getting the energy. I’ve been exhausted working on this new album.”

“You just need to work on your stamina,” Julian teased, leaning his head into Seth’s.

I’d never seen Julian so at ease, almost jovial.

“Hey, I’ve got the stamina of a stallion,” Seth declared, his chest puffed out.

Julian’s eyes went soft and indulgent as he listened to his best friend’s boasting, a fond smile on his face.

The ache in my heart returned.

Julian never looked at me like that.

“Are you joining us?” Seth asked, turning back to me.

“Joining?” I repeated.

“The gang’s heading over to a club for an after-party,” he explained. “We’ve got a private room and everything.”

Being stuck in a room at a loud club with Julian and Seth? Sounded like my idea of hell.

“No,” I said. “I’m going to head home. Been a long day.”

“Another time then,” Seth said.

I couldn’t tell whether his disappointment was faked or not.

“Maybe we can talk later about working together?” Seth said, almost like a peace offering. “I’m not as useless as this guy, but I could use someone with your talent to look over my stuff.”

Maybe he was only trying to butter me up, but the compliment was encouraging.

“I’m pretty busy working with Julian but I’m sure I can fit in some time for you,” I said. “Do you know if any of the others need help?”

“I can ask around,” Seth said.

“Thanks.” The more songwriting credits I had under my name, the better, even if it meant spending more time in the company of Cherry Lips.

“So how’s Keith?” Seth asked.

I stiffened.

“Last I heard you two were working on something?” Seth continued, either oblivious or not caring that I was clearly distressed by the question.

“I don’t know how he is,” I said, avoiding using his name. “We haven’t been together for some time.”

“Ah,” was all Seth said. “And how’s Abby?”

Despite myself, I couldn’t help smiling. “She’s doing great. She’s in college having the time of her life.”

“Did she come with you to the concert?” he asked.

“No, just me.” It made sense Seth would be wondering about Abby. She’d been like everyone’s little sister. They lost touch after the band broke up.

“Maybe I’ll see about bringing her around one of these days,” I said.

“That’d be great,” Seth said, expression lighting up. “It’d be nice to catch up and all.”

“I’m sure she’d love to see you guys playing again,” I told him.

“She always did say she was your biggest fan,” Julian told Seth.

“Pass along my best to her,” he said. “It’s been a while.” He turned back to Julian. “You coming? I’ve got a great new idea for our drinking games.”

“I’m going to call it an early night, too,” he told Seth.

Seth raised an eyebrow at him and cast a surreptitious glance at me.

“Sure,” he said, drawing out the word slowly. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the studio, then.”

“Don’t make the others suffer too much,” Julian said.

“Who me?” Seth asked with feigned innocence, but he couldn’t keep the evil grin from his face. “I’ll see you later, Ever.” Seth gave Julian a squeeze around the shoulders before heading off in the other direction to find the others.

“Seth still likes to make people drink his disgusting shots?” I asked.

“He’s only gotten worse.”

“I didn't think that was possible.”

“Don't test him.”

A chill went through me at the echo of Keith’s words. How long did I have before he went after me again? I had to nail down this work with Cherry Lips and get it finished before he put whatever plans he no doubt had into action.

“Are you really heading home?” Julian asked.

I shrugged. “I’m just not feeling the club vibe tonight.”

“Me neither,” Julian said. “But I was wondering if you wanted to go get a quiet drink?”

I wanted to shoot him down. After seeing the way Julian acted around Seth, after seeing how different he was around his best friend, I wanted to go home and wallow in misery by myself.

I used to think I was special. I thought that Julian had only ever opened up to me like that. I got to see the parts of him that no one else did.

But every so often, I’d seen him with Seth, seen the way Julian smiled at him like he never smiled at anyone else…

Deep down inside, it had made me wonder. Was I secretly in a competition with Julian’s best friend for his affection?

I’d never voiced my concerns out loud. I always thought I was being dramatic, overly sensitive. I knew how much Julian loved me, even if he never said it.

But seeing the way Julian blossomed under Seth’s attention…

And considering the fact that Julian had left me and chosen to follow Seth…

A little piece of my heart that I hadn’t known was still holding onto hope splintered, nearly taking my breath away.

I was more sure of it now than ever. Julian was in love with his best friend. They’d known each other since they were kids. They understood each other.

I was never going to be able to compete with that.

“How about it?” Julian asked.

I blinked. “What?”

“That drink?” he repeated.

I wanted to turn him down. I didn’t want to spend any more time with Julian than necessary. It hurt too much.

Still, a part of me couldn’t help wonder what Julian was going to say before Seth interrupted.

I wanted to tell you…

Maybe a drink or two would loosen his tongue.

“Where did you want to go?” I asked.

“I know a great place.”

What had Julian been trying to tell me that was so hard to say?