Chapter 23
Avidya
Going home to an empty house didn’t sound all that appealing. After spending some time out with Krissy and Catrina—lunch and then to the park—I knew I had to go home. I needed to get some laundry washed, and also needed a nap. Possibly not in that order, either.
Joshua was not a night sleeper. The saying of sleep when the baby sleeps was not easy to follow. I tried, but it seemed even during the day he wanted to be held to sleep. Not that I minded, but I feared that I would hurt him if I fell asleep while holding him.
The baby swing was a godsend! Well, so were Krissy and Julia, before she left. I would be able to get a slight doze that would be considered a small nap during the day to help keep me going.
I had sent Julia home last week, needing some time to come to terms with what my life would consist of next. I knew things would be changing once more, because they always did.
It was only a matter of time.
Krissy now knew my entire life story, or pretty close to it. I left out that Zach had gotten me as a gift that he kept. She didn’t need to know that part. The rest she found out. Julia ended up telling her most of it, and I added in what she wasn’t able to here and there.
Julia explained that the family was in a business, but left out the whole mafia part of it. That was for the best anyhow. I’d have hated putting Krissy and her daughter at risk because someone came looking for information.
My new friend took it all with an open mind. She didn’t look at me differently. She simply gave me a hug and told me things would get better.
The past didn’t define me, nor would it ever.
With Krissy knowing what I was hiding from, or more like who to an extent, I didn’t have to hold back anymore on what I said to her. I never did in the first place, really. I just could answer some of her questions more easily.
Before having Joshua, I tried to keep the Melendez family’s status out of everything. I didn’t want to be seen as some rich wife tired of not having her way, because I was anything but that. I never wanted money. I never wanted popularity.
The only thing I wanted was a family that understood.
“What do you plan to do if he comes here?” she asked, following me into the house after our trip to the park. Catrina was on her heels, waiting for her promised time with my son.
Those two already adored each other. I could see them staying close as they grew up, no matter how much distance may separate them.
“If he wants me to go back, I most likely will. I just don’t want to leave you two,” I answered. “I won’t leave right away, because with a baby, it’s just not that simple.”
“Oh, don’t worry about me and Cat,” Krissy said with a wave of her hand. “I’ve always wanted to visit Vegas, so you can guarantee that I’ll be showing up at your doorstep this summer. Then I can gamble, and get a private tour of it all! If that family of yours owns most of it, I certainly would be taking advantage of it all.”
I laughed lightly. I knew she wanted to travel. Krissy only had her parents and a few friends here. She didn’t have much really holding her here, so I could see her moving.
Plus, Vegas wasn’t all that far away in reality.
“You can’t leave, Vidie!” Catrina said. “Friends don’t leave.”
“I won’t be leaving for a little while,” I said, soothing her. “But my family lives in a different place and I’d like to be closer to them if I can. But you know what? I can always call, and we can meet up every few months to see each other.”
“Okay,” she sighed. “That would have to work, I guess.” She tossed her head back at the end of her words, like it was the only option.
“We’ll visit,” Krissy promised. “And who knows. Maybe we’ll just stay there forever one day.”
“That I like!” Catrina said happily.
Ah, the simple minds of children. I wish things could be that simple for me.
“Anyway, what do you need me to do? I’m at your beck and call,” Krissy said, opening her arms wide.
“Nothing,” I laughed. “I need to do some laundry, since Josh thinks peeing on me and himself every time I change his diaper is the best thing.”
Krissy laughed out loud at my words. I wasn’t kidding, either. I think I did three times the amount of laundry these days.
“That’s just gross,” Catrina said, shaking her head and turning to my son. “Don’t be peeing your clothes. It’s just disgusting.”
“You’re telling me,” I breathed out.
The exploding diapers weren’t that great either.
~oOo~
Two A.M.
I was not a fan of this time of the morning.
It was quiet out in the world. There was no traffic, no one going about their day.
Oh, no. Two in the morning was the time that Joshua had found to be the most awake out of any other time. He refused to go to sleep. Every single night so far.
So, yeah. I wasn’t a fan of nighttime wakefulness. Not many people were, either.
Even though I wasn’t a fan of this time of night, I did cherish each moment with my son. I watched how he began to wiggle and make a few sounds, looking around for anything his eyes could get on. I loved him more than anything else. He was my world.
I could see so much of Zachariah in him, though. I wasn’t sure what Zach would think, but this baby right here had his dark hair. I knew that Josh would be a very handsome man when he grew up, and I couldn’t wait to watch all of his firsts. It didn’t matter to me if Zach would be there or not. All that mattered was that my son would know he was loved and adored by all of family he knew. Everything else would work itself out in time.
I was prepared, as much as I possibly could be, for whatever my husband would want to do. If he didn’t want children, I was okay with that. Joshua and myself were now a packaged deal. It was either both of us, or neither of us.
I wouldn’t let him try to change my mind. Zachariah’s family would stick behind me one hundred percent.
So now, it was all in his hands.
Zachariah knew my location, and he could come find me himself whenever he was ready for us.