Chapter 7
Zachariah
I was anything but happy as I sat at the bar, overlooking the club area. I detested being here. I would rather be in jail then right here at the moment. I didn’t want to see all these happy couples. I didn’t want to hear about how happy a Dom was with his sub. Least of all, I didn’t want to hear all the happy emotions that came with sex around me.
I just fucking wanted to go home to me in my own misery without having to be around anyone.
I was only here to appease my father. He really hadn’t thought through me being here. There was alcohol. And someone that I could easily find to help numb my pain. He had to know that I would do anything to keep my feelings at bay for as long as possible.
The only thing stopping me from doing either of those things was knowing I’d never cheat on my wife, even if she thought what we had was over. And the bartender was Travis, who refused to serve me anything but water. That fact didn’t make me any happier, either.
Yes. I was glaring at everyone around me. No one dared to come up to me because of that.
Thank fuck for that. I wasn’t in the mood to be my normal sociable self.
“You aren’t too sociable tonight,” one of the regular Doms spoke, sitting down next to me. His buzz cut and sharp jaw stuck out every time I looked at this man. He was polite and respectful, which is how he got into my club a little over a year ago. He followed the rules, never stepping over that line that was easily crossed by many.
“His girl left him,” Travis stated easily, passing Bruce the drink he had asked for.
“That sucks,” he hummed out. “Go find another.”
“I’m still married,” I muttered, running a hand down my face. The ring on my finger should have been a clear sign that I wasn’t giving up on my wife. I never would.
“Well, she still left. To me, that means she is no longer in the picture. At all. You have free reign, man,” Bruce laughed.
“Still not going to,” I seethed, glaring at him.
“Then find a Dom that will take the pain away. It works just as well,” Bruce stated.
“That won’t work either,” Travis said, saving me from having to reply. Tempting as it sounded, I knew I couldn’t do that either. I’d hate if Avidya went to someone else if I had left her, just like she left me. I may be hurting, but I would go that far to take my pain away. Whiskey worked just as well, for the most part.
“Well, good luck, buddy,” Bruce said before standing and looking for a sub to play with.
He was the type that only wanted a plaything, switching constantly from one to the next. He was a great Dom; I had to give him that. No woman ever complained about him not following the rules in this establishment.
“How about you just go to the office. I don’t need you here. You’ll just dampen the mood,” Travis said, shooting me an irritated look.
That sounded like something I could do. It was much better than sitting here having to socialize. I did just that, too. It was better than sitting in the middle of people who I had no desire to even talk to.
I had wanted to once bring my girl here on a night like this. I wanted to show her just how much of my world she could like and crave. I wanted to show her that this life that I lived was exciting. Now, that chance was gone. I hadn’t heard a thing from her, or about her. I was even trailing my father to see if he would go visit her, and nothing.
Not a damn thing.
No one in my family went anywhere out of the ordinary. There was nothing to lead me where my wife was. I hated it. Everyone around me knew I hated it, too. It wasn’t a secret, that was for sure. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure how they were still able to be around my ass with my angry filled hate that I was showing everyone lately.
Maybe my father was right. Maybe Avidya would come back after she got her thoughts in order. I still didn’t know why she left. That was what kept bugging me. If only I knew, I could just do something to fix it!
Nothing could fix the giant hole in my chest from her leaving me. There was absolutely nothing that could fix that but her. Didn’t she know how much I fucking loved her? Didn’t she know that she’d take my heart with her if she ever left?
Sitting at my desk, I couldn’t help but miss my wife more with each passing minute. I felt like I could never overcome her leaving me.
Why?
Why did she leave? Why couldn’t she just come talk to me?
Why, God damn it!
I rested my head in my hands, forcing the tears of destruction away.
I would find her. I would bring her back, kicking and screaming if I had to. I would go to the ends of this earth to get her to see reason.
I’d even tie her up to make her listen if I had to.
I was a monster. And that monster was just unleashed.