Chapter Fifteen

Kal

 

Another wasted trip to the border and back. Striding through Cobalt, the morning air cold and brilliant, I was reminded of the first morning after I’d brought Iris here. A strange twist went through my gut as I realized we’d been fake mates for exactly a month.

Thank goodness it was so early that only a few people were out and about. I couldn’t have dealt with any questions about her right now. Instead, I tried to go over my failed, secret trip. But the anniversary had perturbed me, and my thoughts circled back to Iris. She’d said I smelled like wintertime, hadn’t she? Did she mean the scent of a cold morning like this, or a snowy day? Was it because I was an ice bear? Or was she just being her usual, odd-duck self?

Up ahead, I saw Luke with his three dogs, Bo, Rosie, and Timber. I buried those thoughts as I approached. He was standing in front of the infirmary and had a bag swinging from his wrist. A bundle of nerves hit my gut until I noted his face. Relaxed and smiling. Reagan and the baby were fine. The dogs took notice of me now and swarmed over, yipping ecstatically.

Scratching the hounds’ ears as they danced around me, I nodded at the bag, and he shook his head. “Reagan and Caleb have been sick. Nothing serious—just a cold, and one they’re almost over. Cassidy’s been so busy, so I came to get their medicine.” I frowned deeply at that, and he laughed. “Relax. Everyone is fine. If anything, it’s building up Caleb’s immune system.”

“Well, yeah, I’m sorry the baby and Reagan have been sick. I just didn’t realize…”

I trailed off. If Reagan had been sick, that meant that no one had been around for Iris. Laia and Sierra were in Veda with my cousin, Tristan, and the rest of the Deacons and Llarys. Guilt settled in my gut. Had she been completely alone for the last week or so?

Not like I would’ve been great company. Especially after the botched dinner incident.

“You okay, Kal?” Luke asked, and I realized I’d been glowering into the distance.

“Yeah, I have to make a stop,” I said and gestured with my head at the market.

“Cass checked in on Iris the other day,” Luke said in a low voice as I went to walk away, and I paused. “She had a minute, went up there with Bix, Gabriel, and Drue. Iris seemed fine.” I nodded as the wolf gave me a pointed look. “Better not let Xander know you haven’t been around, though. Especially with Greyclaws hanging around.”

“Greyclaws?” I repeated.

“Yeah, you know, Versk and his cronies,” Luke said. “I mean, we expected this.”

Suddenly, I was very glad that Xander had insisted on setting up individual wards around each of our houses to prevent any kind of spying, malicious intent, or intrusion. They’d been strengthened by Beylore after Laia had given birth to Luna.

Of course, Northbane shifters were also trained to keep an eye out for any kind of suspicious behavior, and Luke would’ve heard if they’d tried anything.

“Good to know,” I said.

“Wait, you didn’t know?” Luke frowned. “But Kyla said—”

“Kyla from the Archives?” I interrupted. She was young and sharp, with some of the best eyes in Winfyre. Xander had named her our Head Archivist last year. “Iris has been there a lot.”

Luke was giving me a look like I was demented. “I know, that’s where Versk talked to her. Kyla came outside and—”

“He did what?” I asked, and the dogs whimpered, cowering behind Luke. My friend laid a hand on their heads and gave me another look, something flickering in his eyes. A bolt of rage went through me, and I imagined gripping that smarmy Greyclaw ass by the throat and tossing him into the icy bay. Underneath, there was a roar of possessiveness, too, one I wasn’t quite sure how to handle. “What the hell did he say to her?”

“Christ, Kal, you don’t know?” Luke’s jaw tightened. “I knew I should’ve checked up on this.”

"No," I said and yanked off my hat, tugging on my hair. "This is my…did Kyla hear anything?"

“Unfortunately, she said she only caught a glimpse of them together at the end of the day. Iris seemed withdrawn but composed, staring Versk down.” Luke smiled, and a flicker of pride went through me. “She said she tried to ask Iris about it, but Iris downplayed it. I figured if it was something serious, Iris would’ve talked to you.”

I haven’t been around for Iris to talk to, I thought. “When did this happen?”

“A week ago, I think,” Luke said, and I let out a groan. “What?”

“Nothing,” I muttered. “Just gonna slap some sense into that bastard.”

“Hey,” Luke said and grabbed my arm. “Things are tense enough right now. More corrupted shifter activity in the Tiselk, a dindari sighting in the north. Don’t go pickin’ fights with the Greyclaw.” I resisted the urge to say they started it. “Man, what is with you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re so on edge, Kal,” Luke said. “And you’re never around. It’s not like you. But it is in the Cobalt gossip mill, and it’s only a matter of time before Xander hears about it. He’s gonna be pissed that you’re not helping Iris. Didn’t he ask you to do that?”

“I’m not a code-breaker.”

“Oh, bull,” Luke said. “Listen, cool off. Take a nap. Go see Iris.”

“Yeah,” I said and nodded as he walked away. Better not see Versk first.

At the market, I was in a state of distraction and more than once forgot what I was looking for. When I’d finished, Cobalt was busier, and I wondered if I was imagining the curious glances being snuck my way.

Walking by a flower stall that had just opened, I paused and ran my eyes over them. There was a cheery bunch of yellow flowers against darker purples. It was an odd mix, but it worked.

“Kallen, hello,” said the older proprietor. She was a gentle soul named Berita who’d been with us from almost the beginning of Winfyre. “Not often I see you here.”

“Uh, yeah,” I said and gestured at the yellow and purple mix. “I like these.”

“Hm, an excellent and auspicious choice,” she said, and I nodded. “I’ll wrap them up.”

“Thanks,” I muttered, and heat flushed up my neck. Trying to make conversation and ignore the curious eyes boring into my back. “So, why auspicious?”

She touched a dark purple flower with a gnarled finger. “Last irises of the season.”

“Excuse me?”

“These are the last iris flowers I have,” Berita said. “I assume they are for your lovely mate.”

More heat moved up my neck, and I clenched my jaw, nodding. What the hell am I doing?

“She’s very sweet, that Iris,” Berita continued, thankfully oblivious. “Bit withdrawn, though.”

“Iris?” I asked without thinking. “She loves to talk.”

“Oh, yes, she’s very friendly,” Berita said. “But she rarely talks about herself. Always asking about other people and interested in their affairs. Besides being your mate, I don’t know much about her. Of course, folks still hold pre-Rift lives close to the heart, so I shouldn’t pry.” She laughed as she tied a ribbon around the brown paper. “Nosy old woman, right?”

At Berita’s words, a painful realization was churning through me. Berita was right. I knew very little of Iris’s life besides the fact that she’d lost her mom when she was twelve. In fact, come to think of it, she seemed hellbent on worrying about everyone but herself. Hadn’t she even said something to that effect—that she wanted to do something worthwhile to help the territories? Was that how she’d wound up with Orion’s notebook?

“Kal, dear, are you feeling well? You look upset,” Berita said, and I snapped back.

“I’m fine, thank you,” I said and took the flowers. They seemed fragile in my big hand, and I almost wanted to give them back to her. “Thank you.”

“Give my love to Iris, dear,” she called after me.

Laden down with bags and a mountain of guilt, I made my way home. It was quiet inside, and, from the looks of things, Iris wasn’t up yet. Besides the mess in the living room, which I could tell she was trying to keep contained, you wouldn’t know anyone else was in this house. She always cleaned up after herself to an almost absurd degree.

After I put everything else way, I eyed the flowers and cleared my throat as the heat came back into my face and neck. Shit, what was I supposed to do with them?

Rummaging around, I found one square vase, dusty and disused, tucked in the back corner of the sink. Not sure where it had come from or if it was meant for flowers, I washed it out several times and placed the flowers in it. Then, after some deliberation, I left them on the counter in a pool of sunshine.

Creeping quietly upstairs, I went up to Iris’s door and listened. Not a sound came from within except soft breathing, and I silently opened the door. She was curled up on top of the covers in the middle of the bed, a throw half-over her and one hand on an open book.

Closing the door, it hit me. For all intents and purposes, she was working harder than I was. Working harder than she should have been because I was supposed to be helping her.

Time to stop avoiding her.

No matter the crush of feelings simmering deep down whenever I saw her or the electricity that leaped through my blood, I couldn’t keep doing this to Iris. It wasn’t fair.

All that mate nonsense aside, she had a hell of a task on her shoulders.

I could keep it together around her. I mean, I was an Alpha.

Besides, the sooner it got done, the sooner she could leave. At this point, she’s probably counting the days, I thought as I went to the shower. I should apologize, probably.

After I showered, I took a nap that lasted later into the afternoon than I’d meant. Waking up took a while, and I slowly made my way downstairs, dragging with exhaustion. Too much running around and too little rest lately.

It took me a minute to realize Iris wasn’t there. Was that normal? Unease crept through me. Shouldn’t I know where my mate was?

Fake mate, I thought.

But the words rang hollow.

I loitered around, eating a late lunch and glancing over her mess of notes. I didn't want to disturb anything, though, since it looked like she'd been working pretty intensely.

When two hours had passed, I went upstairs and got dressed. I hadn’t explicitly stated to myself that I was going out looking for her, but I couldn’t wait around any longer.

Kal. Xander’s voice was never a welcome intrusion in my mind.

With an annoyed grunt, I relented and acknowledged him with a curt, Yes?

Tristan and Rett are back. Meeting in a half hour. He must have sensed my hesitation, the bastard, because he asked dryly, That a problem?

No, I growled and shoved him out of my head.

Jogging downstairs, I glanced around as though hoping Iris would pop up out of nowhere. With no other recourse, I grabbed a pad of paper and scribbled down a note.

Dinner – 7.

Throwing on my jacket, I hurried down toward Cobalt, hoping I’d see Iris on the way. But I got all the way to HQ without a sign of her. Making a mental note to stop and get dinner on the way home, I went inside.

Rett and Tristan greeted me joyfully, while Fallon gave me a shrewd look, and Jeques rushed up to congratulate me on finding a mate. I forced myself to smile and nod, while Luke winked from the corner he was lounging in. Deena, one Fallon’s Vixens, was half-awake, head buried on her arms. But she turned and blew her wavy brown hair out of her face to give me a flat look as I sat down.

“What?” I asked.

“Is it true you haven’t introduced your mate to your family yet?” she asked, and a hot swoop of nausea went through my stomach. “It is. Why?”

“They were away,” I fibbed while Tristan and Rett shot me evil smiles. “This week. Geez.”

“Poor girl has been wandering around Cobalt, lonely, for weeks,” Deena muttered. “Little lonely golden ghost. I swear, Kal, you better be nice to her. I like Iris. Too good for you, but that’s the way it goes with Alphas and their mates.”

I rubbed my forehead, wishing I could wake up from this dream. “Yeah,” I said absently. “I’m no good at this shit, so I wish everyone could maybe get off my back about it.”

Deena lifted her head and squinted at me. “Wow, you’ve got it bad.” Her tone changed, becoming contrite. “I’m sorry, Kal. Must suck having to run around and leave her when you two just met.” Her smile became curvy. “Sure those reunions are nice and cozy at your place, though.”

“Yeah, Kal, tell us about them,” Tristan laughed from across the table.

“Don’t be gross, Llary,” Deena said and flicked a bolt of air at his head, making his wild hair stand on end.

Tristan scowled as he patted it down. “You started it, D.”

“Glad to see this meeting is off to its usual level of maturity,” Xander said as he came in with Niles Orlov, and everyone fell silent. “Sorry, we’ve got a lot to go over.”

First, there was the usual Winfyre business. Supplies, shipments, and so forth. Food rations, which were holding steady. Greenhouse production and our small, internal economy. Shifter patrols and training. Reports from the Coven about any breakthroughs. The pleasant stuff.

Then came the rest. Health issues, the supplies that we were running out of, and the results of the poison antidote research. Then, Tiselk issues, packless issues, and other territories, which seemed to be exacerbating the former two. Most territories were still interested in figuring out a way to let the Tiselk govern itself. The Greyclaw and its cohort, which seemed to change daily, wanted to carve up the Tiselk for themselves.

“Bad idea,” Deena and Tristan said at the same time.

“I’ve dated many a Tiselk outlaw,” Deena said, and we all snorted. “What? Shut up. I just mean, they like being ‘packless.’ Until a year ago, that wasn’t even a thing. Now, it’s like when the Stasis Bureau were calling people shifters.”

“I agree,” Xander said. “No one wants to take away their land, but…we also can’t ignore the fact that the Tiselk is where old factions of Skrors and the SB are hanging out. Along with these new corrupted shifters and Excris-doping drugs.” At that, my stomach knotted. I knew what was coming, and, since we’d been at this for hours, Xander was going to be pissed. “Kal. Anything yet?”

“No,” I said.

“Not one thing?” Xander said and frowned at me. “All right. Well, keep me posted.”

I let out a loose breath as he moved on, and guilt churned through my veins. Across the table, Luke shot me a pointed look, and I jerked my head in a small shut the hell up motion.

Finally, Xander heaved a sigh and gave us a tired smile. “I think that’s it. Unless I missed something…”

I let out a sigh of my own. Xander never missed anything. I couldn’t believe I was going to get away with sneaking out of Winfyre for the past two weeks.

“Actually, Xan, you didn’t bring up the Greyclaw operatives hanging around. Or Versk.” I looked up at Fallon, who was staring me down. Oh, shit. My cousin was pissed. Beyond pissed. And she’d waited until this moment to really torpedo me. I guessed I should be grateful she was siccing Xander on me, and not my mother. “Or what Versk said to Iris a week ago…”

“What?” Xander’s voice was sharp, and his shoulders drew back. His eyes went to me. “Greyclaw agents talking to Iris? What the hell did he say to her, Kal?”

“I don’t know…Iris didn’t say anything,” I said in a low voice, and Luke shook his head. “Let’s not jump to conclusions—maybe she knew him from the Greyclaw.” A snap of jealousy went through me. “Probably nothing.”

Fallon snorted. “Please. Kyla saw Iris get accosted by that jackass outside the Archives.” Her eyes narrowed at me when I glanced at her. Geez, so much for Deacon loyalty. “She told me about it the other day when I got back from Veda. Thank goodness she saw something and mentioned it to her sister, Narani.” Narani was one of Fallon’s other right-hand women, along with Deena, in the Vixens. Suddenly, I realized that Fallon must have had the Vixens keeping an eye on Iris. Her next words confirmed it. “They’ve been keeping tabs on the Greyclaw and on Iris. Since then, the Greyclaw have backed off, but Versk is still keeping an eye on her.”

An ugly anger pulsed in my chest, distracting me. Versk had better steer clear of me, or I was going to lay his ass out. Who the hell did he think he was, accosting Iris in my territory?

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Tristan burst out. “They’re, what, checking up on the mating claim? What is this bullshit?” Fallon shot Tristan a look. “Thank the spirits for Narani, eh?”

“Jeques, Deena, Niles—I’m so sorry, but could you give us Alphas the room?” Xander asked. “This doesn’t concern you guys, so go home and have dinner.”

“Lucky,” Tristan muttered.

Once the door swung shut behind them, I glared at Fallon. “Thanks for the knife in my back. You couldn’t talk to me in private?”

“How is it in your back when I said it to your face?” Fallon snarled, and her fingers twitched, like she wanted to punch me in the face. “You’re treating Iris like shit and putting her in danger, Kallen. Good thing Laia warned me you weren’t around, and I had my girls keep eyes on her. What if those Greyclaws had tried to kidnap her? Do you even think of anything besides yourself, you fatheaded ass?”

“Of course I do,” I snarled right back. “You’re just being your usual, interfering self, Fallon. You can never leave anything alone.”

“Are you that stupid?” Fallon’s nostrils flared, and her fists clenched. That only happened when she was dangerously close to losing her temper. “My mom, Aunt Lily, and the rest of the Deacons already think it’s weird you’re hiding Iris. A fact that hasn’t escaped the gossip mill of Cobalt. Then, you keep taking off on Iris, leaving her at the mercy of nosy bastards like Versk?”

“Taking off?” Xander echoed, and his anger pulsed through the room. Fallon paled a bit, and I knew she hadn’t been planning on telling him that. “That’s why you didn’t know anything about the translations. Jesus, Kal. Of all the times for you to—”

“You already know my reasons, Xander,” I interrupted.

“Fallon, thank you for letting me know,” Xander said. “You all can go. Kal, stay.”

“This is weird,” Tristan muttered. He was usually the one getting chewed out. “Did I wake up in an alternate dimension?”

“Shut up, Tristan,” Fallon barked.

I’d never seen my pack brothers leave a room so quickly, though Fallon lingered, shooting me an angry and annoyed look. I had a feeling she was going to drop a hint to my mother and auntie that was going to bite me in the ass later as well.

“Kal, you and I both know that I don’t like the hand the Rift dealt me,” Xander said in a tight voice when the door swung shut. “The gifts, the blessings, and the curses. You have helped me stomach that weight since Brody died.” I flinched at our friend’s name. “All of you have.”

“What are you getting at?” I asked, staring at the table and knotting up my fists.

“What is the point of Winfyre?”

“What?” I asked, startled.

“Why do we do this, Kal?” Xander asked, and he had the serious, earnest look of the warrior-student I’d known in the service. “Why do we meet here, talking about Winfyre worries, and busting our asses on the borders, and trying to keep it all from going to hell? Why?”

I shook my head at him. “I’m not getting into a philosophical debate with you. I’ll lose.”

“Damn right, you will,” Xander snarled. “And I’ll tell you why. At first, it was so that shifters would have a place to start over, to find a place in a world torn to shreds and to be safe. A haven. A haven that became home, where people could live.” His glare intensified. “That includes you.”

“Xander, I...my family is here and safe,” I said. “What more could I ask for?”

“I think you know, old friend.” Xander closed his eyes and sat back. “But you won’t ask.”

I tried to joke him down, a little uneasy. “Xander, there is nothing, I swear.”

“Maybe not.” The gold in his eyes flashed. “But there is someone.”