Chapter Five

Kal

 

Sitting across from a sleeping Iris, I stared up at the sky through a missing slat in the roof.

We’d built this tree outpost four or so years ago. Tristan had picked the tree. Hauling the timber up had been a pain in the ass, and we’d dropped several boards, several times. There’d been arguments with Luke over the floor layout, and several with Fallon over what equipment to put in the chests. One night, we’d had to fight off Rotted, and Beylore had had to put up stronger wards. 

Back then, everything had been constant motion, constant stress, and constant problems.

I hadn’t thought ahead, had never imagined a quiet night when I’d sit here and remember. Even now, though, in spite of my concern about Iris and the book, I couldn’t quite get myself worked up.

Instead, I listened to the wind and watched the stars. The unease of earlier had vanished, and a funny sensation was in its place. Almost contentment. Yet also restlessness, the kind of restlessness I knew I was exacerbating by brooding.

But today had messed with my head. Earlier, I’d kept trying to tell myself it was because of the reappearance of the book and what it might signify for the peace in the Wilds.

But really, it was Iris.

I still had no idea what to make of this woman. Replaying the events of the day and our conversations didn’t give me any answers. Only more questions.

Shuffling my limbs into another position, I folded my arms and tucked my chin down, eyeing her sleeping form. Her face was turned towards me. My night vision had always been flawless, and I was especially grateful for it tonight. Then I caught myself and forced my gaze back up.

The way I was acting around this woman was borderline idiotic. Reckless, for sure. And not like me at all. Trashing that auction and alerting Sarrow like that? Breaking his arm and leaving him there? What had I been thinking? Also, what the hell had been all that conversation?

I didn’t chat. I wasn’t out to make friends with this woman. She was a mission, plain and simple. My fingers were drumming on my knee, and I made myself stop. I had to focus. Get her to Winfyre, maybe to the Coven, and…

And then what? a voice asked in my mind, with an abrasive, infuriating, and know-it-all quality like Tristan’s. Leave her? Can you do that?

“Of course,” I muttered out loud without meaning to.

But Iris didn’t stir.

I was probably invested in this woman because of the book and my concerns about her. I didn’t think she was working with the Bloodfang, but perhaps she’d run afoul of them. The darkness in her eyes at the mention of Sarrow had been telling. Everything else was probably a result of the stress and drama of the day.

Settling down, I tried to sleep, but I kept remembering little moments with Iris. Things that made my heart jolt out of rhythm. Her warmth and frank kindness. Her words. Her smile.

What a sweet, sassy little woman. My eyes shut. Not a bad travel companion.

Rubbing my knuckles, I could still feel the warm pressure of Iris’s hand on mine. Her fingers were long and delicate, with a softness to them that I didn’t have.

Part of me wanted to hold onto it forever. Or her.

Another part of me wanted to take off into the woods.

I did neither, but it took me a long time to fall asleep that night.

 

Sucking in a deep breath, I startled awake and winced. My neck was stiff from falling asleep at a strange angle. An ache from the cold had settled in my bones so deeply that I had no interest in opening my eyes.

When I finally did, I wished I’d done so sooner.

Iris was standing across from me in a pool of sunlight, the light curving down every coil of hair. Dancing down her arched spine. Illuminating her skin to a gold hue like the winter sky at dawn. Her bare skin.

Mouth dry, all I could do was stare, sure I was dreaming.

Standing in front of the mirror, Iris held a shirt to her chest and studied her exposed back over her shoulder. I ran my eyes up her spine and back down. Taking in her flared-out waist and the tantalizing curves she was hiding in the front.

We installed that mirror in case of Excris attack, to be able to watch the entrance at all times. My thoughts were dazed. It was my idea.

Iris stood up on her tiptoes, and I swallowed, hard.

Damn, she’s so beautiful.

Stupor was rapidly being replaced by hunger. A hot and leaping hunger, struggling to weave through my veins. A demanding hunger, wanting to know every last one of those curves, dips, and hollows. But I clamped it down and shoved it deep, even though I could swear I heard bones crack as I did so. Because I wanted her in a way that made me wonder what I’d do to have her.

This isn’t good.

Yesterday, she’d been too hurt and covered in blood for me to take her in. I’d been filled with a blind panic I’d experienced very few times in my life. One I hadn’t wanted to cop to until this moment. A panic that had me calling Xander to send a healer.

Now, seeing the thin, bloodless bandages stretching across Iris’s back, I knew I’d overreacted. A fact that Cassidy was sure to delight in discussing.

I had to face facts, though. Yesterday, I hadn’t been tired or out of my mind; I’d been possessed. From here on out, I’d have to keep my distance from this honey-haired mystery woman. The last thing Winfyre Ridge needed was another Alpha with a—

My eyes widened, and I cut that thought off before it could go any further. However, at the same time, I realized I was still staring at Iris. In that same moment, she glanced back and did a double take. Both of us froze, while my thoughts still scrambled to make any kind of sense.

“Sorry,” I gritted out and wrenched my gaze to the side.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Iris babbled, and I snuck a glance back to see her pulling on the shirt and covering a flash of stomach. My own tightened, and an ache went through me. “I just wanted to check on the bandages. Cassidy did a good job, huh? Thank you for calling her.”

“Sure,” I muttered as I got up. It was late, and we needed to get going.

“Please, don’t worry, Kal,” Iris said with a funny lilt in her voice. “I shouldn’t have been half-dressed first thing in the morning.”

Gritting my jaw against laughter or words or more insanity, I merely nodded. But holding it all in only seemed to encourage the warmth in my blood, disarming what little defense I could muster. Turning my back on Iris, I fumbled with the bag, folding up my jacket and then unfolding it, taking out breakfast and then rummaging around for—what? I couldn’t remember what I was doing. Why was it so hard to friggin’ think right now?

Finally, I got Iris breakfast and packed my bag. It took far longer than it should have, but if we left now, we could be almost halfway to Winfyre by tomorrow. And I planned on staying a bear as much as possible. Safer and more prudent for Iris’s sake.

After I'd found Iris a jacket, we left the tree house, with me determined to say nothing more than necessary. Another strange thing, having to even be conscious of that. Usually, I had no idea how quiet I was until Rett or Tristan pointed it out. Not like they didn't talk enough for Luke, Xander, and I combined. Never mind Laia and Sierra, Rett’s and Tristan's respective mates.

I wondered what they’d make of Iris, and a nerve seemed to snap in my stomach.

Shit. I also realized if Iris told them about my staying a bear, I’d never hear the end of it. But asking her not to say anything didn’t sit well with me. I’d leave it alone. It would be fine.

Only, the closer we got to Winfyre, the more that nerve snapped and roiled in my stomach.

Iris had spent most of the day walking alongside me, quiet and content, smiling a little to herself. Maybe I’d explain to her that if we got set upon by remnants of Skrors or Sarrow’s men, it would be better if I were like this. It was nothing personal.

It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you, I could say. It’s just that I don’t think I should.

Wait, what?

I stumbled and shifted back without meaning to. In my shock, my hands flew to my chest to ensure I wasn’t dreaming. For the second time today, I was dismayed to find out I was all too awake.

Shit, that had never happened before.

“Kal?” Iris had stopped and was gazing up at me. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah,” I said, my voice a little strangled to my own ears. “Need a break—quick break. Snack.”

“Oh, good,” Iris said with a small laugh. “For a moment, I thought you’d tripped.” Then she hunched up and fluttered her hands. “But what am I thinking? That wouldn’t happen to you.”

It just did.

Looking around, I couldn’t have picked a worse place to stop and take the so-called break. We were on a thin path, one side sloping down to a lake, and the other overflowing with knotted pines. No place to comfortably stand or sit.

For a moment, I considered shifting back. Anything to avoid these crackling nerves and the way Iris unsettled my entire world even when we were walking just like this. But I kept walking, running a hand over a knot in my shoulder and trying to think of something to say.

To my relief, we rounded a corner, and there were boulders up ahead. Acting as though I’d chosen this spot, I strode up to them and tossed my pack onto a smaller one. Pulling out a handful of rations, I found two apples I’d picked up the other day and offered one to Iris.

“Wow, my favorite,” she said and smiled at me. I nodded and turned back to my bag. There was silence for a few moments, then Iris asked, “What’s the name of this lake?”

“Gimbor,” I said.

“Wonder what it was before,” she murmured, and I shrugged. “You don’t?”

“No,” I said and stopped myself before I could say more.

Instead, I folded my arms on top of the boulder and stared out at the lake. Shafts of late afternoon sunlight pierced through the heavy clouds, and a frigid breeze blew wildly through the treetops every once in a while. The hills around the Gimbor Lake were a riot of color.

By the time we were finished, I was congratulating myself for getting a grip. I glanced over at Iris and saw she was gazing up at the sky with a hint of a smile on her face. Then her eyes fell, and my fist clenched so tightly, I crushed the apple core to nothing but juice.

Hastily, I swung my hand down and shook it off, wiping my sticky fingers on my pants. Iris didn’t react or say anything, leaving me to believe she didn’t notice.

Or maybe she was nice enough not to say anything.

“Ready?” I asked, and she nodded.

And shifting back, we set off again.