Chapter Thirty-Six

Kal

The first time, we’d had to slowly come apart and catch our breath. The intensity had swept us both away. Am I still alive? had been my first dazed thought. The answer was a wry mix of pleasure and pain: This is what you get for waiting so long.

“Think it’ll be like that every time?” Iris had asked a little while later. I’d turned her face to mine. Joy and softness had filled her eyes as she touched my face. “Good. You look as happy as I do.”

I’d laughed at the exultation and peace filling me. “I think it’s a lot more than happy.”

“Mm, you’ll have to give me a minute to come back down.”

“Or we could find out the answer to your question—”

I hadn’t even finished before Iris pulled me in for a kiss. At first, we went slowly, but soon the heat was building and roaring between us. While I hadn’t exactly held back the first time, there’d been something between us that had made it delirious, slow and special.

What had followed was all heat and want. Iris and I had crashed together even harder. Fast and rough, until we hit that intensity and pleasure point at the same time.

Now Iris was curled next to me, smiling and satisfied, eyes closed. Meanwhile, the predator had woken up, and I was wondering if I could slip away to take a shower. Or go jump in the snow.

Suddenly, Iris stretched against me like a cat and then pressed her ass against me. I sucked in a hard breath, and she laughed. “Oh, good.” Her hand went around me. “I thought you’d fallen asleep, you were so still. But you’re just trying to reign yourself in. Silly bear.”

Then Iris was over me and kissing me, her hand still on me, and I was gripping the blankets. When her teeth caught against my collarbone, though, I lost it and pinned her down.

“Iris, I’m aware of our difference in size,” I said through gritted teeth.

“Me, too,” she said and grinned up at me.

“If you do that, I’m not sure I can hold back,” I said and let out a strangled breath.

“So, don't." Her voice was arch and held a challenge. "You and I have to catch each other when we fall into our bad habits. You being too restrained and rigid…mm, maybe more so the second at the moment.” The smug curve of her lip. “Kal, I trust you. Let go. For me.”

The urge to claim, to mate, rough and wild, was consuming me. Now that Iris was lying there, reassuring and challenging me at the same time, I was gone.

Searing my mouth to hers, I dominated her, holding her down and letting her feel the weight of me. One hand gripped her ass, lifting her as I ground against her and made her arch up. She squirmed and tried to get her hands free, but I had them locked over her head.

“I noticed you liked this earlier,” I said in her ear. “Told you—observant.”

Iris let out a huff of air and gave me a sly smile. “Anything else?”

“You’ll find out, honeycomb,” I said and bent down, brushing a kiss against her lips. “I’ve been paying very close attention.”

 

We'd fallen asleep sometime before dawn, then I'd woken up and found Iris gone. She was in the shower, where I had been happy to join her and tell her about all the times I'd imagined her in there.

Only the real thing was better because she made me laugh and then snuggled up to me, hugging me under the hot spray. Little gestures from her that I never could have predicted.

She’d gone back to the room first, as I’d needed a moment to collect myself, and also pinch myself. This was happening. Iris and I were together. No longer fake mates. The real deal.

When I got back to the room, Iris had changed out the sheets and remade the bed since we’d pretty much torn it apart last night. She was sitting up, under the covers, wearing my flannel shirt and reading a book. Glasses on her nose, and wet hair in two messy braids.

“You’re trying to make it so I never leave bed again, huh?” I asked.

“No, I got cold waiting for you,” Iris said, glancing up briefly as I dropped the towel and went to the dresser. A smile spread across her face, and her cheeks went pink.

“Hm, you look flushed to me,” I said and stretched, then flexed. “Wonder why.”

“Could be the six and a half feet of naked muscle that made love to me all night and morning, then again in the shower,” Iris replied and turned the page. “Sore as I am, I’d probably go again.”

I made a choked sound, and she stuck her tongue out.

“You’ve been stretching on purpose for weeks, haven’t you?” she accused me, and I bit back a smile. “Dammit, Kal, and I really bought the scars thing last night.” A pillow hit my ass.

“Hey, I wasn’t sure,” I protested. “And I do get stiff.”

“I know,” Iris retorted.

“You want me to make it up to you?”

“Yes,” she said. “Get dressed, and come snuggle.”

“Damn, I walked right into that,” I said.

“Who spooned me all night?” Iris asked and tossed her braids. “Who shifted back in his sleep to spoon me that first time?” I gaped at her, and she grinned. “Oh, you didn’t know I knew about that? Mm-hm, so much makes sense now. So, what, you don’t want to now?”

Unable to resist teasing her back, and still a bit shocked she knew about that shifting mishap, I said with a shrug, “You said ‘get dressed,’ so I assume—”

Iris swung out of bed, bare legs flashing, and came over to me in that damn flannel. God, she looked sexy, and I swallowed, immediately caught.

“You look like a naughty librarian,” I blurted out.

“I need to start writing down these fantasies of yours,” Iris said and took off her glasses. “Maybe this time, we could…” She seemed to lose her nerve, and her cheeks went pinker.

“I’m your six and a half feet of muscle,” I teased. “Who else can you say this to?”

“Oh, get dressed, Kallen.”

“Oh, no,” I said and lightly swung her around, pinning her to the wall. “Tell me.”

“Kind of halfway there,” Iris murmured.

I stared at her for a second, then lifted her and held her against the wall. Before she could say a word, I was kissing her and trying not to smirk too much. Since she immediately wrapped her legs around me and threw her arms around my neck, I knew I’d guessed right.

A groan escaped me. “No panties? You’re tryin’ to kill me, aren’t you?”

“Or I’m trying to make up for lost time, too,” Iris said and let out a sigh as I kissed her neck. “This is better than I imagined.”

My lips were at the hollow of her throat. “Givin’ me crap when I knew all along you liked my muscles.” I moved slowly up her throat, and she gasped. “And bein’ carried.”

“No way. Well, maybe a little. And that stays between us, Kallen,” Iris said.

“Agreed. I’m terrible at sharing.”

She squirmed a little, and the pressure between my legs increased, air hissing between my teeth. “Wanna know what else?” Iris asked, and I nodded, trying to focus. Her head fell back, and her eyes closed. “For some reason, I thought if, by some miracle, it did happen—this—the first time, it would be up against a wall.”

A dark chuckle escaped me, thinking of last night. “Well, it almost did.”

“But then,” Iris panted, “you surprised me.” She dropped her gaze to mine. “It was perfect.”

“It was,” I agreed and thrust in, hard, loving the way her fingers dug in, and her mouth popped open. We were both breathing hard. “This won’t be.”

“P-perfect,” Iris got out before I captured her lips again.

I took her hard and fast against the wall. As before, it was beyond anything I could have imagined. Iris in my arms, her taste on my tongue, her limbs and silken warmth enveloping me—this was a place I never wanted to leave. I lost myself in her, pleasure, satisfaction, and triumph pitching higher and higher. Until we both shattered and came back to ourselves.

My head was on her shoulder, and I stayed there for a moment, savoring this.

Iris patted my neck. “Take all the time you need.”

Arms tightening around her, I laughed. “Once, I might have asked you what the hell you were doing to me, Iris Lisay. Now, all I want to ask you is to never stop.”

Her teeth suddenly found the shell of my ear, and I groaned against her. “Anything for my mate,” she purred. “Don’t forget you’re mine, too, Kallen Deacon.”

Lifting my head, I let out a contented sigh. “Never.” Then I settled her against me as I stepped back and brought us over to the bed, before trying to lay her down. Iris refused to let me go, and I almost tumbled on top of her. Bracing my legs against the bed, I added, “Not even if I tried.”

"Well, you did," Iris said with a wicked glint to her eyes, and I shook my head, trying not to grimace. "Good thing you're doing an excellent job of making it up to me." I narrowed my eyes in response, and Iris lightly kicked my thigh. "How about breakfast in bed?"

Nodding, face solemn, I bent down and kissed her. “Good idea.” Then as I stood up, I gripped her thighs and spread them apart. “Let me get right on that.”

“Kal, wait, I—” Iris’s voice was high and breathy, then was lost in a muffled cry. She twisted under me, hands fisting in the blankets and hips arching up. “Kal, it’s too much, oh, oh! Oh, yes.”

I’d found out last night that Iris had had zero experience with this particular brand of pleasure. Add a bristly beard and sensitive inner thighs, and I’d driven her to the brink in no time. It made her come undone in a way that I loved, and that rendered Iris incoherent, so she’d asked me to warn her.

So, now that I’d warned her, I settled in to see how far I could take it.

 

Much later that day, I awoke and glanced out the window at the winter afternoon. My sense of time and even place was hopelessly scrambled. Iris and I were in my bed, but upside down.

I was using a bunched-up throw for a pillow, and Iris was using me. Gold curls filled my vision as I looked down, her cheek pillowed on my sternum and an arm flung across my waist. The other hand was on my heart, and I smiled.

In spite of the weird sleep schedule and exertion, I felt well-rested. If starving.

I didn’t want to wake Iris, though, so I settled in and closed my eyes. Her scent filled my nose, her back warm and smooth under my fingers as I slowly traced my way up and down.

“Mm,” Iris said and snuggled against me. “Warm for an ice bear.”

“Right now, I’m just a plain old bear,” I said. “Hungry as one, too.”

“I know—your stomach woke me up.” Iris sighed. “I guess we eventually had to leave bed.” She sat up and shook back her curls, a quizzical look coming over her face. “Why are we upside down?”

Chuckling, I sat up and kissed her shoulder. “I was hoping you knew.”

“Handsome, I don’t even know where your shirt went last night," Iris said with a smile. “We should probably make this a regular thing.”

“Deprivation is dangerous when it comes to us two,” I agreed. “Every night?”

“And every morning.”

“Afternoon quickie, if we can.”

Iris laughed and rubbed her face against my shoulder. “You make me happy.”

I kissed the top of her head, a powerful surge of joy and gratitude going through me. “Well, you’re a good influence.” Cupping her shoulder, I drew her against me. “You make me a better man.”

“You shared your family with me,” Iris retorted. “Don’t think you can win this game.”

“Hey, you are part of the Deacon tribe now,” I said.

“See,” Iris said, and her voice was watery. I pulled back, laughing, and wiped a tear from her cheek. “Kal, dammit.”

“You need to eat,” I said and kissed her. “And I did win. I got you.”

Iris’s eyes overflowed, and I let her cry against my chest, trying not to laugh in my triumph.

Finally, though, we got downstairs and made dinner. Iris was wearing black leggings, a sports bra, and my flannel. Both of us were acting a bit like kids, making pancakes and drinking beer, not giving a damn what time of day it was.

After, when we were stuffed and groaning, we retreated to the couch to recuperate. Then I coaxed Iris to tell me stories, only she got me regaling her with my Navy and Special Forces days, as well as misadventures as kids at Camp Micousha.

"I can't believe you've known each other since you were kids," Iris said wistfully. "That's so nice. No wonder why you five all act like brothers." She poked me. "Especially you and Xander, the two stern older brothers."

I sighed. “Xander is actually younger than me and Luke.” I frowned. “I think.”

“What?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Used to be me and Brody who kept ’em in line. Xan had to step up—after.”

Iris gave me a look of such sympathy and affection, I had to kiss her.

“What was that for?” she asked as I pulled back.

“For being you.”

“If you ever need to talk, Kal…” Iris said carefully. “None of you ever really talk about him.”

“We can’t,” I said. “It’s complicated and pretty damn painful.” Taking her hand, I gave her a serious and searching look. “I trust you, Iris. It’s not a matter of trust. It just has to be this way.”

“One day, maybe.”

I went to speak and stopped. You never know. “Maybe.”

As Iris settled against me, I recalled what Beylore had said about Iris, and how Brody wouldn’t have wanted me to blame myself. To live a life where I was constantly on edge and expected to throw myself into the line of fire. Or to even dream of letting Iris go.

Beylore had been right, too. Brody could have a bit of a temper, and he might have thrown a punch to knock some sense into me. Then he would have plied me with advice, most of it terrible.

I suddenly recalled an old conversation, where we’d heckled the hell out of Brody about that. Luke had been worried about his old, terrible ex, and Brody had said to dump her.

See, you want something like me and Lor. Soulmates.

Buddy, Tristan had said, we’re still trying to figure out how she said yes.

Pity, Luke had commented.

Moves, gentleman, I’ve got moves, Brody had said. And Swifty, you need to dump Lind, like, yesterday. She’s awful. Find yourself a girl who makes you laugh, who keeps you on your toes and doesn’t put up with your shit.

Sure, easy, I’d said dryly.

You’ll know, he’d said and winked at me. You, especially, Kal. Bet you’ll fall in love at first sight. Tristan will have to work for it. Rett will probably be blindsided. Luke will know, but he’ll try to act cool. Brody had shaken his head. Xander, your best bet is not to talk her ear off or get all goofy.

Rett had slugged Brody on the shoulder. What about you, moron?

Hm, me? Seeing as I’ve been in love with Lor since I was, what, nine? Patience.

So that’s how you convinced my sister, Xander had finished, and we’d all laughed. Wore her down for over a decade.

Brody’s face had lit up. For the one, you’d wait an eternity. Do anything. Say anything. Then he’d sighed and adopted a superior tone. But yeah, it took me that long to become a man worthy of her love. Although, Lor always had feelings for me—don’t let her fool ya.

It should have been a nice moment, as it was actually decent advice. But for the rest of his life, Brody would be teased mercilessly as “the worthy man.” He’d taken it in stride, laughing and fearless, utterly shameless about how in love he was.

I’d envied that and told him so once. Brody had looked surprised and gratified at my confidence, then clapped me on the shoulder. “Dude,” he’d said. “Sometimes it’s hard to fall, but once you get that momentum, everything works out. For you, it’s gonna be that first step.”

“He was right,” I muttered, and Iris lifted her head.

I had fallen in love at first sight, and the first step had been the hardest. Admitting it.

“Thinkin’ about Brody,” I said. “You and him would’ve gotten along well. In fact, I think he probably would’ve been almost as happy as my mom to meet you.”

Iris blossomed with delight and snuggled against me, arms around my neck. “I’m glad.”