NIK
THERE IS NOTHING BUT BLACK everywhere I look, and it’s so quiet here, too quiet. I’ve been here awhile now. At least I think I have. I’m ready to go somewhere else. I don’t know how I know, but I know I shouldn’t be here anymore. My mind is so foggy and heavy. I can’t even remember why or how it is that I’m here. I try to move, but it feels like my body’s buried in thick mud. Nothing wants to budge. I guess I’ll work on clearing my head. The problem is, I have no idea how to do that.
Think, Nik. You had to have gotten here somehow. Wait! I hear beeping. It’s faint, but it sounds like one of Cash’s trucks backing up. Am I at one of his job sites? No. No, that’s not it. The beeping sounds more like a heartbeat now, and it’s getting faster. I can hear other noises, too. Some kind of machine is humming close to my ear.
“Rachael, you might want to come in here. I think he’s waking up,” someone says. It was a woman, but her voice was so muffled I don’t who she was.
Was she talking about me? Why the hell can’t I see her, or wake up from whatever this is? I think the blackness might be fading. It looks lighter now, like someone is slowly turning up the lights.
“Mr. Jensen, can you hear me?” the woman asks, her voice clearer than before.
Yes, I can hear you fine. I just can’t see you! Where are you?
I have to squint my eyes, the light is getting too bright, but I still can’t see a thing.
“His heart rate and breathing have both increased. His pressure is still stable,” the woman says.
I feel somebody touching me. I don’t like not knowing who it is, but it seems to finally help me break through this fog.
“Nik, can you open your eyes for me?” a new voice asks. This one’s a woman, too. I think it’s her hand I feel holding my arm.
I try to open my eyes, but they refuse to work. I can’t move my arm away from her either.
What the hell is going on? Why won’t my body work?
“Turn the lights down, Lace. See if that helps him with his eyes.”
The brightness fades a bit. I try to open my eyes again. It feels like my eyelids are Band-Aids, and I have to peel them off my eyeballs. It hurts like a bitch, but I finally get them open–only for them to slam shut on reflex.
“That’s it. Try again, and let me see those blue eyes Ellie told me about.”
I try several small blinks this time, and I can finally keep them open if I squint. There are two women staring at me, an older blonde and a young brunette.
“There you are. Ellie was right. You do have beautiful eyes,” the blonde says.
Ellie? Why do I know that name?
I close my eyes again, and attempt to make sense of what’s going on.
“Nik, I’m Rachael and this is Lacey. We’re your nurses. You’re in the hospital, hon. Do you remember what happened?”
No, I don’t, and it’s pissing me off.
I need to calm myself down so I can think. I know I can remember if I just stay calm.
Think, Nik, think.
I take a few deep breaths, all of which hurt, but the pain clears the way for the memories to start flashing through my mind.
One day of school left.
A beautiful day.
A gorgeous woman smiling up at me.
Guys in masks! Guns!
Her ocean blue eyes.
Gunshots! Protect her!
Oh my God!
Ellie!
I bolt upright as the memories slam into me, but fall back roaring in pain.
“Nik! Don’t move!”
“You have to calm down, and be still!”
I barely hear their yelling over my own.
Holy fuck! I have to be dying. Pain. So much pain. I can’t breathe. It hurts. Everything hurts.
“Nik, you need to breathe. I know it hurts, but you have to breathe and calm down. Try to be still and relax as much as you can.”
Is she nuts? How the hell am I supposed to relax when I feel like I’m being pulled through a shredder? Oh God, make it stop. Please make it stop.
“Nik, can you look at me? Let me help you, okay?” one of them asks, her voice calm but stern.
It’s the blonde.
I’m sure my eyes look wild to her. I’ve never been in so much agony in my life. My whole body feels like it’s being crushed. I’m trying to breathe through it, but I can only manage erratic bursts of air and panting.
“That’s it, breathe for me. I know it hurts, hon. I’m so sorry. We’re gonna take care of you, and make it quit hurting, okay? Just breathe, and stay really still for me. Good job,” she says, trying to calm me.
The brunette runs out of the room as I force myself to focus on the blonde. She breathes with me for a few minutes, and the pain begins to ease a fraction. “There was a robbery at the Starbucks yesterday. Do you remember?” she asks. I nod my head a tiny bit, terrified to move too much. “You were shot five times, and were brought here to have surgery to fix you up.”
They shot me five times? Those motherfuckers! Oh God, what about Ellie? Please God, tell me she’s okay.
I attempt to swallow the knot in my throat, but it’s so dry it’s useless. “Ellie?” I whisper. My voice sounded like a dying frog trying to croak.
The nurse–Rachael I think she said her name was–smiles at me really big and pats my arm. “Ellie’s here, and she’s fine. You saved her, don’t you worry.” I close my burning eyes, and let out a deep, shaky breath, relief running through me. “She is gonna be so happy to see you awake. She’s been here the whole time waiting to see you. Would you like me to go get her?”
I open my eyes and look at her. “Please,” I whisper again. I need to see her for myself. Maybe that’ll help distract me from this pain.
“All right, I sure will. Lacey went to get you some more pain meds. She’ll give them to you while I’m gone. You stay still, and keep breathing. I’ll be right back.”
I nod my head real slow and close my eyes, trying to keep breathing through the pain.
Lacey needs to hurry with those meds or I may pass out before I can see Ellie.
A few moments later I hear someone back in the room. “I’m giving you some morphine, Nik,” Lacey says. “It’s gonna kick in pretty quick, and you’ll probably want to sleep some more.”
I watch as she squeezes the syringe she stuck into the IV tube that’s taped to my right hand. I feel a cool flush run up my arm. “Thank you,” I whisper.
I dare a glance down my body to see what kind of damage those assholes did to me. The first thing I see is some kind of tube sticking out of my left side with stitches holding it in. If I was to guess by the looks of it, it’s draining blood and fluid out of my abdomen.
That’s awesome. Everyone wants a tube draining nasty shit out of them.
There’s a big bandage covering me from right above the tube all the way up to my shoulder. I feel more bandages on my left shoulder blade, and on the right side of my head, too. There’s a sheet over me from my stomach down, but my right leg is hanging up in some wire contraption that’s coming down from the ceiling.
Holy shit. This is not good.
I close my eyes so I don’t have to see the mess I’m in anymore.
I really fucked up my plan on getting us outta there unhurt–at least myself anyway. That nurse better be right about Ellie being okay. I’ll be pissed as hell if I got all shot up and didn’t manage to keep her safe in the process.
Now that I’ve calmed down some, I can feel where all the pain is coming from. It’s not my whole body, just most of it. The right side of my head is throbbing and burning like a bitch. My back, chest, and shoulder on the left side feel like I have knives embedded in them–big damn knives that someone’s twisting. My leg is the worst. I can’t see why it’s hurting so bad, but with the amount of pain it’s giving me, I’m not sure I want to. I close my eyes, concentrating on my breathing and staying calm. Freaking out didn’t do me any favors. Thankfully, I can already feel the morphine beginning to do its job.
“Nik?”
I struggle to open my eyes again, and when I do, I see a sleepy Ellie smiling down at me with tears in her eyes. Even tired and crying she looks beautiful.
“Hey, you,” she says with a strangled whisper as she slips her hand beneath mine. She has a small scratch on her head and it’s bruised a bit, but other than that she looks fine.
“You’re okay,” I whisper back, moving my fingers against hers.
Her other hand goes to her mouth to smother a sob, but she still nods her head at me. “Yeah, I am. Thanks to you,” she manages to get out after a second or two. She leans over me and my eyes close again as I feel her soft lips kiss my forehead, along with a few of her warm tears hitting my skin. “Thank you, Nik,” she whispers when she looks back down at me.
I give her a small smile as I feel myself starting to fade into the darkness again. I gather my strength to get a few more words out. “Stay. I want…to see you...again. Please?” I ask, right before my eyes slip closed. I can tell they’re not gonna open for a while, but I feel her gently squeeze my hand, and rub my cheek with her fingers.
“I’ll be right here when you wake up. You rest, okay?”
I hum my agreement, and let the morphine pull me under.
I’ve been fading in and out for I don’t know how long. It seems like days, but it’s probably only been hours. Every time I get my eyes to open, Ellie is always there. For some reason, I feel like I can relax knowing she’s with me. I squeeze her hand, or smile back when she smiles at me and quickly fall asleep again, but I’m tired of sleeping. When I hear her talking to someone, I force myself to wake up hoping to stay that way for a while. Once I peel my eyes open I see her and Cash on either side of me.
“Hey, dumbass,” he greets me with a smirk.
“Fuck you, dickhead,” I tell him, my voice like sandpaper.
God, I’m so damn thirsty.
As if she read my mind, Ellie has a cup of ice chips in front of me ready to spoon one into my mouth. I slowly but eagerly accept it, moaning when it hits my desert-like tongue. As I look up at her, I notice she’s giving Cash the evil eye, but it quickly disappears when she looks back at me. Cash has an even bigger smirk on his face now.
“That better?” she asks, smiling sweetly, and ignoring my best friend.
“Yes, thank you.” I sound a little bit more like myself now.
“How’s your pain? We can get Lacey in here if you need some more morphine,” she says, her eyes filled with concern.
“It’s not great, but I want to stay awake for a while.”
“All right, but don’t let it get too bad, okay? We don’t want a repeat of earlier,” she warns me.
“Oh, hell no. Never again if I can help it,” I say, closing my eyes and slowly shaking my head. I look up when I hear her gasp.
“I’m so sorry, Nik. It’s all my fault you’re in so much pain,” she whispers, her big, beautiful eyes filled with tears. She looks so guilty and sad.
I’m not having it. I squeeze her hand till she looks at me. “Please don’t. None of this is your fault, do you hear me?” I tell her as fast as my mushy brain and body will let me–which isn’t fast at all. “Everything I did in there was my choice. You never asked me to protect you. I made that decision all on my own. I don’t blame you, Ellie. Not for any of this. Not even a little.” I squeeze her hand again, trying to stress my words. My voice still wasn’t as strong as I would’ve liked it to be, and I was panting by the end, but hopefully I got my point across.
She holds my hand tight while wiping her eyes with her other one, then leans over, kissing my cheek this time. “I’ll never be able to thank you enough for saving me,” she whispers before standing back up.
“I’d do it again, except maybe do a better job of dodging the bullets.” I smirk up at her, trying to get her to smile. It doesn’t work. She just shakes her head and wipes at more tears. “I promise I’m not in any hurry to be fighting anymore gunmen.”
“You better not be,” she mumbles, turning to get a tissue from the tray in the corner of the room. I look over to Cash. His smirk is still firmly in place.
“What are you smiling at, asshole?” I ask him.
“Me? I ain’t smiling at nothing, except your sorry ass laid up in this bed,” he says, ragging on me like always.
“Yeah, well, if I could turn over I’d let you kiss it all better,” I say, giving it right back. If I was able, he’d get a good lick from my fist to go along with it.
His face goes serious all of a sudden. I hate seeing the worry in his eyes. “You scared the shit out of us, Nik. Do me a favor and let me know the next time you decide to go all badass and be someone’s shooting target, okay? Maybe I’ll be better prepared,” he says, his voice cracking.
“I’m sorry, man. It wasn’t what I had planned for the day, I promise you.”
“I bet you didn’t, but you almost cost one little girl her Nik-Nik. She’s gonna give you what for when she gets a look at you.”
I close my eyes, and swallow down the lump in my throat his words created. “You can’t bring her up here, Cash. Not ‘til I’m better. I’ll scare her to death.”
“I won’t. She’s with the shit-laws this week anyway, so you’re safe for a while.”
“Good,” I sigh. “Thanks for being here by the way.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else, bro,” he says and gently bumps his fist into my knuckles.
I can’t take seeing the emotion in his face. I look away, and change the subject. “What day is it, by the way? Or is it night?” I ask them. There isn’t a window in sight, so I can’t tell.
“It’s Saturday morning, about nine thirty,” Ellie tells me. “You woke up real early, around five this morning. You’ve been in and out ever since.”
“How long was I out for? Did they have to operate on me a long time?” I want to know even though I’m worried about the answer.
“They worked on you for almost four hours. You’ve been up here in the ICU since about five yesterday evening,” she says.
“They fixed everything, right? I have to get out of here soon. I’ve got a class to teach.”
They look back and forth between each other, neither of them seeming like they want to answer me.
Then Cash clears his throat. “They fixed everything they could, but uh, you still need surgery on your leg. The orthopedic surgeon won’t be here ‘til Monday. After that you can hopefully start moving around some,” he says, trying to soften the blow, I guess.
It doesn’t work.
“Monday? Some? What the hell, Cash? Give it to me straight,” I demand, growing more agitated. My pain ratchets up again, too.
Ellie starts running her fingers through my hair, trying to relax me. “Nik, please try to stay calm. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but we’re all gonna help you through this, okay? It might take longer than any of us wants it to, but you will get through it. I’ll stay with you every step of the way if you want,” she promises me.
I look at her for a minute, knowing I need to remember something about her that will keep her from staying. After a few seconds, it hits me and I glance down at her left hand.
Yep, it’s still there. Damnit.
“As much as I would like for you to stay with me, and I really would like it, I doubt your husband would.”
Pain flashes across her face as I hear a familiar voice fill the room.
“You mean cupcake hasn’t told you that she’s not really married yet?” the voice drawls out with so much attitude you could paint the walls with it.
“Leia?” I strain to see where she is.
“Hey, big brother, or should it be big hero now?” she snarks, walking around Cash to get to me.
God, it’s good to see her.
“How did you know?” I ask, reaching for her with my good hand, and latching on tight to hers. “I’ve missed you so much, sis.”
She leans over and kisses my cheek. “I’ve missed you, too,” she whispers, pressing her cheek to mine for several long seconds.
When she stands back up I can see how hard she’s trying to hold back her tears. Crying is against Leia’s religion, so I know I’ve really scared her. It’s a struggle to fight back my own.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“Yeah, well, when you get out of this bed I’m going to kick your ass.”
“I’ll make sure to stand still for you,” I joke, doing my best to make her feel better.
“Cash can do it for me. I don’t want to break a nail.” She’s smirking now, and acting much more like herself.
I look at him. “Did you call her?” He shakes his head.
“Scott did right after he found out yesterday,” Leia tells me. “It took my fucking ignorant assistant two fucking hours to track me down. Two! I fired her fucking ass on the spot. Then I had to take four fucking different flights to get here, which took fucking forever! Scott kept me updated when he could. He picked me up at the airport, and filled me in on everything on the way over. You look like utter shit, I hope you know that.”
I groan. “I feel like it, too.”
I notice Ellie slowly swaying on her feet over in the corner. She has her arms wrapped tightly around herself while she stares at the floor and chews on her lip. I don’t like seeing her that way at all, it doesn’t feel right.
Maybe she’s being nice and giving me and Leia some space?
“Ellie?” Her huge eyes are full of sadness and fear when she looks at me. Leia can scare anyone, so I assume that’s what’s bothering her. She’ll see Leia’s not so bad once they meet. “Come here, I want you to meet my sister.”
She hesitates a minute, then comes back over to the bed. She attempts to smile, but I can tell it’s forced. I reach my fingers towards hers. She slips her hand into mine, but it doesn’t feel the same as before.
“Ellie, I’d like you to meet my little sister, Leia. Leia, this is Ellie,” I introduce them, gently waving their hands around in mine. “She was there with me yesterday, Leia. She stood up to those assholes like you would have. She thinks I saved her life, but I think she could have done fine by herself. She was smart enough to not get shot like I did anyway,” I tell Leia, trying to keep things light between them.
“Hello, it’s nice to meet you, Leia,” Ellie says, her smile weak and nervous.
Leia nods her head. “Hello.”
She’s smiling at Ellie like she’s her most hated client, but she still has to keep her happy. Ellie looks like someone kicked her dog.
What is wrong with them? Can’t they see I want them to get along?
I look over at Cash for some help, but he shakes his head at me. Something is going on, and I’m the only one that doesn’t seem to know.
Screw that.
“What the hell is going on? Quit babying me, and tell me what’s happening here. Why does it seem like you two know each other already?”
“Nothing’s wrong, Nik. What makes you think that?” Leia asks with enough attitude to make me question her.
“Bullshit!” I say, jerking my head off the pillow, and immediately regretting the pain it causes.
Ellie shakes herself out of her funk, and starts rubbing my hand with both of hers. “Nik, please relax so you don’t make your pain worse, okay? There’s nothing going on with us. Everything’s okay. I’m just really tired, and I’m sure Leia is, too, after flying all this way. Maybe we should call for Lacey to get you some more pain meds. We can all go so you can rest for a while.”
“I’m not going anywhere, cupcake. I just got here,” Leia smarts off to her, her voice hard.
“Leia, don’t be a bitch. She’s only trying to help,” Cash cuts in. He’s one of the few who’s never been afraid of her.
I look over at my sister as she stares Ellie down, her eyebrow raised to the ceiling. “Wait a minute? Did you call her cupcake? I remember you said something about a cupcake when you walked in.” As my memory clears, I turn to look at Ellie. Her lip is between her teeth again, and I see the pain in her face like I did when Leia came in. Only this time it changes to something else. Guilt. I hate to upset her, but I have to know.
“You’re not married, are you?” A tear slips down her cheek as she shakes her head. Then she lets me go, and runs out of the room. “Ellie, wait!” I call after her, straining my body way more than it wanted me to. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop her or make her come back. “Damnit, Leia, what the hell did you do?” I half growl, half groan as my pain makes itself known again.
“Me? What makes you think I did anything to her? It’s not my fault she ran away.”
“She was fine...before you walked...in.” I close my eyes and pant, trying to breathe through the pain.
“Nik? What’s wrong?” Leia asks, her voice trembling.
“It...hurts.” My leg is beginning to feel like it’s going to explode–maybe it already has. The stabbing all over my left side is getting much worse, not to mention how bad my head’s splitting.
Damn, it hit fast.
“Leia, go get a nurse,” Cash orders her. “Now!” She must not have moved fast enough for him.
As I try to slow my breathing down, he peels my fingers from their tight grip on the sheet and holds my hand. “Squeeze as hard as you need to, bro. I can take it.” I don’t waste time taking him up on his offer. “Damn, Nik. Is it really that bad?” he asks with a groan of pain in his voice. I grit my teeth and nod. “I’m sorry, man. Hang on, I can hear them coming this way,” he tells me.
I open my eyes when I hear feet running into the room. Lacey comes in with Leia hot on her heels. Thankfully, she stands back and keeps her mouth shut while Lacey gets to work.
“Keep breathing, Nik. It should start easing off in a minute,” she tries to reassure me. “I’m sorry we didn’t get this going before it got bad again. The last round should have lasted you longer than it did. I think maybe it’s a little early for you to be having so many visitors at once, hon. You have to stay as calm and relaxed as possible, okay? You need to rest to get well, don’t forget that.”
“Thank you,” I sigh, closing my eyes again as I feel the heaviness start to spread throughout my body, slowly washing the pain away with it.
“I’m sorry guys, but I’m gonna have to ask y’all to step out for a while,” Lacey tells them. “And I think for the next few days y’all are gonna need to keep it to one at a time. The last thing any of us wants is for him to hurt himself even worse.”
Damn right we don’t.
“You can tell him bye real quick before you leave.”
I still have a grip on Cash’s hand so he gives it a squeeze. “Get some rest, and I’ll see you later, bro.”
I squeeze back. “Check on...Ellie. Don’t...let her leave.”
“I’ll make sure she’s okay, don’t worry,” he says, and lets me go.
Then a small hand is on my cheek. “I’m sorry, Nik. I always fuck things up when it comes to you. Please rest, and I’ll see you when you wake up. I love you,” Leia whispers. I can easily tell she’s crying now.
“I love you...too, but, sis...you have to...fix it. I want her...to stick...around.”
“I will. I promise,” she says as sleep pulls me under.