Chapter 17 - Derek
I’m laying in my hotel bed staring at the ceiling. This is it. Tomorrow I fly to North Korea. I’m alone, unprepared, and impulsive. I know this is a bad idea but I can’t stop myself. I have to do something.
Sitting up in bed, I grab the remote. Maybe there’s something on TV. I can’t even entertain myself with my phone, since all social media, YouTube, Google - it’s all blocked in China. I turn on the TV and am greeted with a Chinese cooking show. I flick through the channels lazily, trying to quiet my brain.
Frustrated, I throw the remote down on the bed beside me and wipe my eyes with my hands, then run my fingers through my hair. I’m going crazy. Was this a bad idea? I’m starting to regret this impulsiveness. They say the worst thing you can do when someone is drowning is jump in after them - and that’s exactly what I’m doing. Maybe I could have done something from the States.
My eyes flick back up to the screen. It’s a Chinese news channel. Suddenly my jaw drops and I sit up straighter.
It’s her. She’s alive. She’s there.
I scramble for the remote and turn up the volume, forgetting that they’re speaking a language I don’t understand. It’s a picture of her with army men on either side of her, lined up in front of a picture of Kim Jong-un. I scan the picture quickly until it disappears from the screen.
My stomach drops. She looked scared. She was wearing a long red dress that looked amazing on her. How can she look so beautiful even when she’s obviously being held hostage?! My brain starts jumping from one horrible conclusion to the next. They’re parading her around like some show pony, showing the world that she’s at their mercy.
I grab my phone and dial Mike’s number. He picks up right away.
“I just saw her on Chinese news.”
“They’ve released that photo here too.” He pauses. “She’s alive.” He sounds relieved and I am too, but I have a deep sense of foreboding in my core.
“She looked so scared,” I respond, forcing my voice not to betray the worry and fear that I feel.
“Listen, Derek. I don’t agree with what you’re doing. I think it’s suicide. I told you what it’s like over there. But just..” his voice cracks. “Just get her back, ok?”
I swallow and the words catch in my throat. My eyes are filling with tears and I nod my head as if Mike can see me.
“Yeah. Yeah I will.” I rasp. We hang up the phone and I take a deep breath. My chest shudders as I breathe in and out. I’m completely on my own. I’m alone in this. I need to get her out, no one else can.
As soon as the thought crosses my mind I remember that she’s a thousand times more alone that I am. She’s under lock and key, being held against her will and paraded around for the whole world to see.
I blink back tears again. I’m not used to this raw emotion. I’m not used to feeling things so viscerally through my body. The pain searing through my chest is like a hot dagger, but at least it distracts me from the fear of the upcoming days. Somehow the power of the emotion is giving me strength. I know this is the right thing to do, even if it is stupid and dangerous and probably suicidal.
There’s a knock on the door and it makes me jump. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and stretch my body upwards before heading to the door. I look through the peep hole and see Lee.
“Hey, Lee,” I say as the door swings open.
“Hello, Mr. Hart. May I?” He gestures inside. I step out of the way and he glances down the hallway before stepping through.
“Thank you.”
We walk in and I lead him to one of the chairs near the table by the window of the hotel room. He takes a seat only after I’ve sat down. All his movements are deliberate and fluid.
“Thank you for seeing me so late. I understand this is… highly unusual, but this entire situation is highly unusual.” His slight accent gives an almost sing-song lilt to his voice.
“It’s not unusual, Lee. What can I do for you.”
Lee takes a deep breath. He’s wringing his hands. It’s the first time I’ve seen him make a movement that wasn’t completely purposeful. “When I met Miss Walters, I was worried. She is far too beautiful for this type of mission. She is exactly the type of person that would be… used. For political gain.”
I nod, and he continues. He’s staring at the table between us and his brow is furrowed.
“I… I failed her. I should have said something and I didn’t. I know the Koreans, what they’re capable of. I should have refused to help but by that time things were in motion that were very difficult to stop.”
His voice falters and he pauses. The air between us is heavy. He looks up and his eyes meet mine. I see a deep pain in his dark eyes - the intensity of his gaze rips through me and I feel his guilt as if it was my own.
“Mr. Hart,” he continues. “I would like to accompany you. If you… if you will allow me to. I can speak Korean and have been to North Korea many times. With respect, you have no idea what you are stepping into. I would not like for you to meet the same fate as Miss Walters.”
We stare at each other for a long moment. Maybe it’s because paranoia breeds paranoia, but I don’t know if I can trust him. He seems genuine, but everyone has been telling me to trust no one. This is the man who set up the trip that led to Ellie’s capture. And now he wants to go with me??
I see something in his eyes - a deep pain. It’s a need to make things right. I can relate to that, because that’s exactly how I feel.
I nod.
“Alright.”
Lee breathes a sigh of relief. “Very well. I will see you tomorrow.”
He gets up and I lead him to the door. He glances down the hallway again before stepping out. The door clicks shut and I turn the lock behind him.
He’s right, I have no idea what I’m getting myself into. I have no idea what I’m doing. I just need to get Ellie back, and once I do I’m never letting her go again.