Chapter 23 - Derek
Every agonising second that goes by makes me more nervous. Lee and I wait in tense silence. We’re supposed to have an audience with Kim Jong-un after the show, but no one has told us anything. That audience is crucial. Ellie is supposed to be there, and that’s when we’ll make our escape. Lee mentioned something about a diversion, but he wouldn’t tell me what the diversion would be.
Notoriously fickle, Kim Jong-un could very easily choose to not see us and everything would fall apart. He could not allow Ellie to be there and everything would fall apart. We could be caught when we leave the palace, the city, the country, and everything would fall apart. There are so many unknowns. We aren’t Navy SEALs, we’re not trained professionals. I’m a fucking singer, for fucks sake. I have no idea what I’m doing.
The only thing that’s keeping me going right now is knowing that Ellie is here and she’s alive. We’re both in danger, we might not make it out, but right now we’re both here and we’re both alive. That’s all I can hang onto until I see her again.
Finally the door to the dressing room opens and an armed guard appears. He says a few words to Lee and he immediately stands up and motions for me to do the same. He tells me nothing, and as usual on this mission I’m completely in the dark. I follow Lee and the guard down the hallway, twisting and turning through the building. I think of my lucky guitar, sitting in its case in the dressing room, and I immediately know I’ll never see it again.
Goodbye, I say to it. I’ve had it for years and I feel almost like I’m leaving a part of me behind. Maybe it’ll give me the last little bit of luck that I need.
It’ll be worth it, if it means getting Ellie and I out of this godforsaken place.
We stop in front of a big white door, and I know this is it. It swings open slowly and I struggle to keep my face neutral as I see what’s in front of me. The Supreme Leader, his generals, and Ellie, sitting at a long table waiting for me. This looks less like an audience and more like a dinner. I glance at Lee and all colour has drained from his face. My nervousness reaches a new peak.
Kim Jong-un stands up as I walk in, and everyone follows. Ellie steals a glance towards me and then immediately looks down. I keep my face steady while a war of emotions is being waged inside me. I can hardly walk straight, I feel dizzy and nauseous. She’s so beautiful, she doesn’t deserve this. All I want to do is jump across the table and wrap my arms around her. Even the sight of her sitting there is making my heart beat faster.
You’ve never met her before, I tell myself. You don’t know her. She is not the purpose of this. You don’t know her.
I repeat that in my head over and over and over as I walk towards the long table. Kim motions towards an empty seat halfway down the table and I make my way there, standing behind the chair as Lee stands next to me. Ellie is sitting diagonally across from me. Her cheeks look flushed and her eyes are misty. I can see a deep, unsettling fear playing just behind her eyes. I gulp.
“Supreme Leader Kim,” I say it just as Lee taught me. “It is an honour to meet you.”
He smiles a yellow smile and motions to the chair. The two of us sit. Waiters appear with tall flutes of champagne and everyone at the table takes one. He raises his arms and starts speaking haltingly in English.
“Welcome to our honoured guests. We welcome you to the wonderful, prosperous land of the Democratic Republic of Korea!”
Cheers from the table fill the room. Guests bang their hands on the table to add to the noise. I join in, and Ellie does the same. We all raise our glasses and bring them to our lips. I pretend to sip the bubbly liquid but just let it touch my lips before putting it down on the white tablecloth. I want my wits with me tonight, I know I’m navigating a minefield.
“Mister Hart,” Kim Jong-un continues, “You have been visiting our glorious country for a few days. Please tell us what you think of it so far.”
“It’s beautiful,” I reply automatically. “The people are wonderful and I can tell you’ve been a benevolent leader” ...you know, apart from the mass desperation and oppression lurking just under the surface.
Kim nods in approval and the waiters reappear with the first course. I steal a glimpse towards Ellie, sitting quietly in her sparkly black dress. The way the neckline plunges down to reveal the soft curve of her breast sends a thrill straight down my spine.
The feeling surprises me and I shift uncomfortably in my seat. I have no idea how I’m horny at all right now, but the sight of her so close to me is starting to drive me wild. It must be the tension of the whole situation, or a weird reaction to fear. Or maybe it’s the fact that the woman I love is just out of reach and she looks more incredible than ever. I turn back to the plate in front of me. This is going to be the longest dinner of my life.