Chapter 18 - Ellie
I’m back in my room with Jang-mi. She’s unzipping my dress and helping me slip it off. I sigh and slump my shoulders. The exhaustion has set into my bones. Jang-mi helps me slip a plush bathrobe on and leads me to a chair. I look up at her, trying to search her face.
“What’s going to happen to me, Jang-mi?”
I look at her smooth skin, her deep brown eyes and try to find some sort of hint, some sign that she can understand me. I need her to say something to me, or at least acknowledge that I’m a thinking, breathing person and she is too. She turns around and heads to the table near the entrance and starts making some tea. I sigh, leaning back in my chair and closing my eyes. I’m obviously not going to get anything out of her.
A few minutes later she reappears in front of me and places a tray down on the table. I open my eyes.
“Thanks,” I say. I don’t even have the energy to drink tea. She takes a teacup and places it in front of me, pouring the hot liquid into it with an expert hand. I watch her and try not to let the despair settle into my core. She won’t even talk to me, she’ll only serve me. I don’t want a servant! The frustration bubbles up inside me and I look at the tea in disgust.
Just as I’m about to push the teacup away she places a hand on my wrist. She’s never touched me like this before and my eyes dart up to hers. There’s a spark in them, an intelligence that I hadn’t noticed before. She looks almost kind. We stare at each other for a long moment and she slowly brings her finger to her lips. She motions around the room with the same finger and taps her ear.
They’re listening, she’s telling me. My heart starts beating a bit faster and I glance around the room, as if I’m suddenly going to see the microphones or cameras that are planted here. I look back at Jang-mi and she’s looked away from me, busying herself with the tray. She walks over to the table and comes back with some sweets. They’re perfectly arranged on a plate, a small pyramid of candies wrapped in paper.
Jang-mi motions to the candies and I shake my head. The last thing I want is a sweet right now. Once again she places her hand on my wrist and motions to the candies. She stares at me, her gaze piercing through me for a moment before her eyes drop back to the ground and she shuffles out of the room.
My heart is still beating like crazy. I look at the pile of candies. Why would she want me to eat them? I look back at the door and get up, rushing to it and pressing my ear against it. I can just barely hear footsteps moving away from my door.
She’s gone.
What is she trying to tell me? I go back to the table and pick up the top candy. I unwrap it and inspect it. It’s translucent and red, shaped in a small rectangle. I pop it in my mouth and wait for the revelation that Jang-mi wanted me to have.
Nothing.
I sigh. I can’t deal with these games, this intrigue, this paranoia! Maybe I didn’t see anything at all! Maybe she was just looking at me normally, and she just made me tea like she does every other day. Maybe she made these herself and just really wanted me to have one.
I suck on the candy, moving from one side of my mouth to the other. The rest of the sweets are stacked neatly in a little pile on the plate. I pick another one up and look at it, and then glance down at the plate again.
Then I see it. One of the wrappers is a slightly different colour. It’s buried under the pile of sweets. I start reaching for it, darting my hand towards it and then hesitate. What if they’re watching as well as listening?
I sit down again and stare at the pyramid of candies in front of me. Slowly, I move a couple of them over to get to the off-colour one. It’s the same size, wrapped the same way, but it’s a bit darker than the others. I take it in my hand and stare at it, still moving the candy in my mouth from one side to the other.
My fingers are trembling as I start unwrapping it. I can see writing, neat letters on the inside of the wrapper. Careful not to rip it, I slowly unwrap the candy and flatten the small square of paper.
Bringing it up to my face, I read the small, perfectly neat lettering.
Help is coming.
I read it three, four, five times. Help is coming. My heartbeat is roaring in my ears as I read it over and over. Who is coming? How? When? The questions multiply in my head and I glance towards the door. Did Jang-mi write this? I didn’t even know she spoke English, let alone knew how to write it! Hope ignites inside me as I hold the paper in my hands. Bringing it up to my lips, I place a gentle kiss on the letters and close my eyes, enjoying the first good feeling I’ve had in days.
I wonder how much danger she put herself in just writing this note to me.
I glance around the room and wonder what to do with it. If anyone were to find it, both of us would be arrested immediately. It would be high treason to go against the regime like this. We’d be killed.
I run to the bathroom and drop the paper into the toilet. I push the lever down and watch as the small square of paper swirl down into the pipes. When I’m sure it’s gone I sigh and head back to the main room. My tea is still warm, so I pick it up and take a long drink. The warmth travels through my mouth down to my stomach. The hope inside me blossoms as I think about those three words.
Help is coming.