Chapter Ten

Dan made both Ian and Rafael pay for it the next morning.

Up early, he made sure to make enough noise that Rafael couldn’t possibly sleep through it. Before leaving the room, he wound a scarf carefully around his neck, hiding the hickey from view. It wasn’t perfect—the bruise was large and a brilliant hue—but it would do until they arrived at the rink. Before then, Dan took a seat next to his brother on the bus, deliberately talking loudly across the aisle, causing Ian to massage his temples and groan that his brother was being particularly vindictive.

“You woke me up,” Dan said cheerily when they headed into the locker room.

“Stopped you from getting laid, you mean,” Alaric said dryly from the next cubicle over.

Dan made a face. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Alaric gave him a look that conveyed just how little he believed Dan and gestured at the bruise Dan had just exposed by removing his scarf. Oops. “That says differently.”

Swan whistled appreciatively from somewhere to Dan’s left. “Get it, Stilts.”

Dan made a face at the nickname, one that he’d hoped hadn’t followed him from BC, but Swan was an old teammate and seemed intent on having everyone pick it up again. Dan was tall, sure, but no more than most hockey players. He flipped Swan the bird and turned to Ian and Rafael, both of whom were staring at him with open mouths.

“What?”

“You’ve never been so,” Ian said, waving a hand. “Obvious about getting laid.”

Rafael’s brow was furrowed, and Dan didn’t want to know where his train of thought was going, so he shrugged easily.

“Just because I don’t kiss and tell like you,” Dan said, grabbing his socks. “Doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.”

To be fair to Ian, there wasn’t a whole lot to be obvious about. Now that he had been kissed, Dan could see why some people wanted to make it obvious that they’d managed to score. Not that he wanted to share anything that happened between him and Bobby—for obvious reasons, and because those moments were for Bobby and him alone—but he could understand it.

“I don’t tell everything!” Ian protested, to chatter from the rest of the team, most of whom had played with or against Ian, to the contrary.

Dan rolled his eyes as Ian got into a wrestling match with someone over a girl he’d been with a couple of times, knocking into Rafael as he sat next to him in his cubicle. “What?”

Rafael had a strange look on his face. “Who’d you find to score with last night? You said you had a meeting.”

“Obviously I lied,” Dan said smoothly. He was panicking slightly; Bobby hadn’t been wrong about Rafael being smarter than most people gave him credit for. It wouldn’t take much to connect the dots between Dan and Bobby, and Dan wasn’t ready for that to happen yet.

“Obviously,” Rafael parroted, raising his eyebrows.

Dan sighed. “I’m not gonna tell you who it is, so quit it.”

Just to emphasize his point, he threw Rafael’s socks at his face. Rafael caught them easily but at least he stopped looking at Dan like he was an interesting puzzle to solve.

“If it was anyone interesting, I’d tell you.”

“Right,” Rafael drawled, rolling his eyes. “Please don’t overshare.”

Dan didn’t promise, but it wasn’t as if he was about to confess to being gay and kissing a figure skater, so it worked out for both of them.

Training passed in a blur and though Bobby had told him they would see each other the next day, that didn’t stop Dan wishing that he’d thought to get Bobby’s phone number. Asking Rafael was out of the question; it wouldn’t take long for him to figure out Bobby was the one to leave the bruise on Dan’s jaw, and Kayla sent him a stream of emojis that meant he was on his own.

That left just one person for Dan to ask and he dropped his head against the wall, decided to suck it up and do it. Ian had been talking about meeting Helena for lunch but she’d declined. Something about hanging with her teammates after training.

The restaurant where they’d met Bobby on that first day was already boasting a few athletes and through the window, Dan could make out some of the women from the hockey team. He steeled himself and pushed through the door. Helena was hard to miss; her red hair would stand out in the largest of crowds and as soon as he spotted her, he made his way over.

“Dan Matthews!” Polly Franks was the captain of the women’s hockey team and Dan’s childhood friend in Manhattan. He grinned as she barreled into him, throwing her arms around his neck. “Nobody told me you made it into the Olympics!”

With a glare enough to signal her disapproval, Polly kept an arm around his waist. Dan didn’t bother trying to get out of her grasp. She could be belligerent in her affection, but Dan was more than used to it. They hadn’t spoken to each other in over a year, but whenever they met, it was always as if no time had passed. Dan was ashamed to admit that he hadn’t called her, even when he’d found out she was captain.

“What brings you here while the ladies are celebrating?”

“Helena,” Dan said dryly.

Polly’s eyebrows shot up. “Ian’s new GF?”

“Nobody says GF, Polly, you’re not a teenager,” Dan said, smacking her hip. “I need a number from her.”

Eyebrows furrowed in interest, Polly squeezed his waist and let go. She stared at his jaw and thumped him in the side. “Where the hell did you get this?”

“I don’t know, Polly, it’s a mystery,” Dan replied dryly.

Polly snorted but didn’t press him. She had always been good about not forcing him to do things. “You’re telling me about this later, especially if it’s related to this number you need. Oi, Helena!”

Dan ducked away from her, wiggling a finger in his ear. He’d forgotten how loud she could be. Polly was still watching him, so he rolled his eyes. “I’ll tell you if I want you to know.”

“Spoilsport,” Polly said, with a pout. Hockey players were clearly children in disguise.

Helena grinned as soon as she saw him but didn’t throw herself at him so that was a bonus. She punched him in the arm, which didn’t hurt, but Dan still gave her a mock glare and pretended to do the same. “Is Ian with you?”

“We’re not attached,” Dan said, while Polly laughed.

“Helena, if you know anything about Dan, it’s that he dislikes Ian as much as he loves him.”

It was probably the perfect description of their relationship.

“She’s not wrong,” Dan said. Slipping his hands into his pockets, he shrugged one arm. “I came to ask if you had Bobby’s number? I need to ask him something.”

Helena’s eyes darted to his jaw, mouth quirking, whatever that meant. Maybe Dan wasn’t being as subtle as he had hoped. Still, she dug her phone out of her pocket and started to thumb through it.

“Bobby huh? Bobby Lake, figure skater?” Polly was grinning, tongue in cheek.

Alarm bells rang in the back of his head. “Kayla’s dragging me out to dinner with him and I wanted to double check the time. Kayla refuses to tell me.”

Polly bought it if the way she rolled her eyes was anything to go by. “Sounds like Kayla.”

Helena handed over her phone and Dan quickly typed in the number, wanting to get away from this as soon as possible. If he stayed much longer, he was afraid that Polly would either make assumptions, or Helena would say something damning.

Dan had gone from keeping his secrets for years to revealing them all by accident.

“Tell Ian I said hi,” Helena said and disappeared back into the crowd.

Dan stared after her, a little confused with how easily she had given him the number. He wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth and pocketed his phone. “Good luck.”

“Just be glad we’re not playing you,” Polly said, tapping his cheek. “We’d wipe the ice with you.”

“Fuck if you would,” Dan snapped, but he let Polly kiss his cheek before waving goodbye.

Out in the fresh air, Dan’s phone was a comfortable weight in his pocket, but now that he had Bobby’s number, he didn’t know what to do with it. He didn’t want to text Bobby. What if his request that they wait until the next day was because he didn’t want to be bothered? This is another area where Dan was not sure how this relationship thing worked.

Being brave with his thoughts and feelings had worked for him so far. It had only been a couple of days, but Ian and Helena had only known each other, really, for a couple of days. Not that Dan wanted to compare his feelings for Bobby against that, especially not with how infatuated Ian looked, but Dan had walked right up to Bobby and kissed him almost in front of everyone. That counted as a comparison to weirdly infatuated.

On the walk back to the team quarters, Dan wasn’t sure he wanted to risk Rafael being there or not, so he went to sit by the river instead. He cradled his phone in his hands, Bobby’s number on the screen, but he had no idea what he wanted to type. Just a simple greeting didn’t seem like enough and confessing that he’d found Helena just to get Bobby’s number sounded creepy when he worded it like that.

He settled for typing out a quick, I can’t wait until tomorrow.

Bobby didn’t reply.

Dan tried not to be disappointed and focused on the river. It was busy, people walking, others dipping their toes in—which was gross—and boats of various speeds trailing past his spot. He closed his eyes, let the sounds wash over him. Everywhere was always so loud, from the locker room to the team quarters, and so many things had happened to him in the few days he’d been in Calgary that it was nice to have a few minutes of silence.

“So,” Polly said, dropping down next to him. “When were you gonna tell me that you were gay?”

Dan looked at her. So much for silence. He was surprised at the lack of panic but looking at the hurt in Polly’s eyes, he shrugged. “Not something I really want to get around.”

“I would never tell anyone.” Polly’s tone was serious.

“It’s never about whether or not I’m afraid someone will tell,” Dan told her. “It’s about being afraid of saying it at all. Of having it become the thing people know me for.”

Polly was silent for a long time. “If you weren’t a hockey player, would it be easy?”

“No,” Dan said honestly. “It’s never easy for anyone, I don’t think. I don’t know anybody else, but I know that there’s a certain way my family is supposed to be and it’s not gay? That’s nowhere.”

“Fuck,” Polly said with feeling. She sat back, resting on the palms of her hands, legs dangling over the side of the wall Dan was sitting on. “Kayla wouldn’t care.”

“She didn’t.” Dan carefully avoided looking at her. “Max wouldn’t either.”

Polly looked at him askance. “Your parents and Ian?”

“Ian is a hockey player,” Dan pointed out. “I love him, but he’s an idiot and when it comes to something like this, I don’t think I could trust him. My parents… I don’t think my dad would care, but my mom handles my media.”

“I remember.” Polly tipped her head back, looking up at the sky. She kept glancing at Dan as if checking he was still there. “Are you mad I know?”

“No,” Dan said. There wasn’t a lot he could do about it, but it felt good to have a friend—and not a member of his family—who knew, especially Polly, who had been the first to know Dan didn’t want to play in Manhattan.

“Well I’m here,” Polly said, knocking his shoulder with her own. “Even if it’s just to cry over how hot Bobby is.”

Dan laughed, ducking his head. “He is definitely that.”

“Can’t wait to get him naked, huh?” Polly said it so casually.

Knowing he was gonna start blushing like an idiot, Dan turned his face away, acting nonchalant and certain that Polly wasn’t buying it one bit.

“Dan,” she said, tone low. “Really?”

“What?” Dan turned to her, eyebrows raised. He was embarrassed and certain he would regret saying something, but he darted his gaze to the water. “It would be the first time.”

“Yeah,” Polly said, rolling her eyes. “That’s not a surprise.”

“Thanks.” Dan sighed, hurt, but not enough that he didn’t agree with her.

“There would hardly have been anyone else when you can barely admit to me that you’re gay.” Polly softened the jibe with a smile, resting her head on Dan’s shoulder. “There’s nothing wrong with it. Wanting Bobby. Being gay. Not even being a virgin.”

Dan really hated that word. “I know. I don’t think there is, it’s just hard to imagine a world where I can be happy and have everything I want.”

Polly didn’t say anything else, but her head was a comforting weight on his shoulder, and she threaded her arm through his. Dan had to stop expecting people to have the answers, but it was difficult not to hope that somebody would take the decision out of his hands.