Chapter Twenty-Three

Dan was driving over to the airport when Chris called back.

Manhattan traffic was killer as always, so Dan was stuck in the back of the cab on the way to the airport. He was scrolling through his phone and ignoring the three messages Helena had already sent him about Bear. They made him smile, even if he did think she was crazy. It wasn’t as if his regular sitter ever did that.

Dan: You don’t have to send me pictures like that

Helena: Not my fault you have a cute dog. Win for Bear!

It was curiously sweet, which Dan shook off. Now wasn’t the time to start getting in touch with his softer side. He would need the hard edge to get through the debacle he was trying to set up for himself.

He was typing out a reply to Helena when his phone started ringing. He barely made out the Chris Placket ID before swiping, and instantly regretted answering so quickly.

“Dan? It’s Chris.”

“Hey, Chris.” Dan didn’t say anything more. If he let himself talk too much, he’d sound desperate or blurt out something he might later regret.

“I’ve been sitting here all afternoon thinking about your call.” Chris sounded carefully calm. “I would like to take you on as a client.”

Dan blinked, staring down at his knees with a frown. “Are you sure?”

“I don’t have to,” Chris said, sounding more amused. “Have you changed your mind?”

“No,” Dan said quickly. “It’s a lot to ask of an agent.”

“No offense,” Chris said kindly. “I think you might have the harder time of it than me.”

It was the truth and Dan tipped his head back against the headrest, breathing out slowly. He felt sick with the rush of relief, and it took him a moment to get control of his emotions.

“Dan? Are you still there?”

“Yeah, I am,” Dan said, sounding strangled. He swallowed a couple of times. “I wasn’t expecting you to say yes.”

Chris laughed gently. “Neither was I, to be honest. I’m honored you trusted me with this. I would be happy to help you navigate this, Dan.”

“Thanks.” Dan didn’t know what else to say. He closed his eyes and clenched his hands to keep from staring at how badly they were shaking. “How do we… how will this work?”

“I need you to come into the office,” Chris said, all business. “I’ll have a contract drawn up for you regarding my being your agent. Once that’s done and official, I’ll set up a meeting with the Hunters’ front office. You should make it clear to them what your intentions are.”

Dan nodded, though he knew Chris couldn’t see it. “That sounds good.”

“I’m not going to lie,” Chris told him seriously. “Your timing is lucky, given that the trade deadline has already passed, but that doesn’t mean there’s not still potential for Manhattan to want to move you.”

“Yeah,” Dan said. It was something he had already considered. The publicity around Dan would be vast and not all teams wanted to deal with the fallout from whatever would happen. New York was fairly inclusive, all told, but that didn’t mean they would welcome a gay player with open arms. “I’ve forced myself to deal with that.”

There was a brief silence. “I’ll schedule a meeting with you and shoot it through to your email.”

Dan reeled off his email address and then thanked Chris again. All that was left to finalize everything was to tell his mother that he would not be returning to her services. Dan had hockey to play before then, and he was damned if he was going to mess up his performance by talking to his mother before a road trip.

By the time the cab pulled up outside the airport, Dan had stowed his phone and was pretending the worry gnawing at his gut wasn’t going to overwhelm him. Everything was moving along so quickly and even though he wanted it, it was difficult to pretend it would be easy.

Ian and Rafael were already amongst the team, and Dan grabbed Rafael’s arm, tugged him away from prying eyes and burning ears. Ian followed sedately and Dan sighed, not sure he wanted to have this conversation with his brother yet.

“Chris said yes.”

Rafael nodded his head sharply. “He’s a good guy, Dan. He’ll be good to you.”

“Is this your new agent?” Ian asked, folding his arms across his chest. He looked offended and honestly, Dan was tired of his siblings acting like he had an obligation to tell them when he was thinking of changing something about his life.

“The agent that’s going to negotiate my coming out, yes.”

“Fuck,” Ian said quietly.

Rafael raised his eyebrows. “You wanna do that now? Before the playoffs?”

“Why not?” Dan asked, smiling even though he felt like screaming. “There’s no right time for someone to come out. Even during the offseason fans aren’t dead. Enjoying the summer, sure, but they’ll notice an NHLer coming out.”

“Especially one who just scored the game winner in the Olympics,” Ian muttered. He was staring at Dan intensely. “Are you sure about this?”

Dan laughed, a touch hysterical. He shut it down quickly, dropping into one of the plastic chairs, rubbing at his face. “No. I have never been less sure about anything. But I need to do it – and if I don’t do it now, I probably never will.”

Rafael crouched down in front of him and God, Dan wished he’d just sit in a chair. It was making him look like he was having a crisis in the middle of the airport. He was, but Rafael didn’t have to draw attention to it. “Is this because of Bobby?”

Why did everything have to be about Bobby?

“I love Helena,” Ian said abruptly, sounding sincere. It was a big word for Ian to use and it threw Dan for a second. “I’d probably do this for her.”

“Shut up,” Dan snapped. “Stop trying to be supportive, you just sound stupid! You have no idea what you’d do for Helena in my position because you’re not standing here, I am! This isn’t – God.”

This isn’t comparable. It was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t make himself say it.

Ian settled in the chair next to Dan’s. “I’m not trying to be a dick, Dan. I’m not good at this. I didn’t even know you liked guys until a few weeks ago.”

Dan stared down at his shoes. He was supposed to play hockey the next day, but right now he wanted to slink back to his apartment and cry for a week. When did he become so maudlin?

Rafael stretched, backing up so that he could sit opposite, forearms resting on his knees and hands clasped in front of him. “You could just not do it.”

“No,” Dan said immediately. “I need to.”

“Need to,” Rafael said slowly. “Or want to?”

Dan paused, thinking over his answer. He had asked himself the question more than once, but now that he had to verbalize the answer, it was difficult to find the words. “I want to be myself. I’ve wanted to be myself since I knew what was happening in here.” He gestured at his chest. “I love hockey. I’m gay. I used to think they were mutually exclusive. Or maybe I just hoped they were.”

Rafael clapped his hands together, nudging Ian’s ankle with his foot. “Then be yourself. Ace and I have your back, right?”

Ian raised his eyebrows, incredulous. “You think I wouldn’t? He’s my brother, dude.”

“Doesn’t mean you’re all right with it,” Dan pointed out. Not that he was worried about it. Ian hadn’t seemed like he was about to toss Dan out of his life at the slightest provocation.

“Have more faith in me, man,” Ian said, sounding hurt. “I don’t care who you’re boning, you’re my brother.”

Dan found it difficult to swallow and had to drop his eyes to the floor so that he didn’t do something stupid like cry. “Thanks.”

“Gross,” Rafael said with feeling. “Emotions everywhere.”

It took a beat, but then they were all laughing. It felt good, easy, and Dan tried to focus on the moment. He might need to carry it with him over the coming days.