Chapter Nineteen

“Mom again,” Kayla said, looking at his phone.

It had been going off steadily for the past few hours, his mother and his father both, and one from Max. Dan couldn’t bring himself to answer it, and had Kayla text Max to let him know he’d be in touch.

“Why’d she have to bring Max into it?” Ian snapped.

“Trying to bridge the gap between one of her children,” Dan snorted, laugh hollow as he brushed at his face. His flight back to New York wasn’t for another couple of hours and though he knew his mother was still somewhere in Calgary, he didn’t care to speak to her.

He would have to eventually, even if it was just to tell her to keep the images away from the public eye. They were so stupid, weren’t anything, but the more that he’d looked at them, the more damning they seemed.

“Is this just in my head? Is it actually as bad as she’s making it out to be?”

Ian shrugged. “I wouldn’t know, man. Not the best guy to ask.”

Kayla shook her head. “Maybe. If you’re Mom. She’s trained to look for the smallest thing that could have your career turning on its head.”

“I don’t even care about that,” Dan said faintly, unable to shake the image of Bobby looking at him, betrayed and upset. “She didn’t have to come all the way here and mess it up.”

Kayla and Ian exchanged a look.

“What?”

Kayla sighed. “You’ve known Bobby two weeks, Dan. Look at this from her point of view.”

“Are you kidding me?” Dan stood up, pacing the length of the room. It was the place he and Bobby had grabbed a drink together, empty but for a few stragglers, most of the athletes having cleared out already. It was the only place Dan could think to hide where his mother wouldn’t think to look. “You’re usually the first people to tell me to ignore her!”

“I’m just saying,” Kayla started, but Dan cut her off.

“I don’t want to think about it from her point of view. Who cares how long I’ve known Bobby? Ian has known Helena just as long. Did you ask him to look at it from Mom’s point of view?”

From Kayla’s guilty look she hadn’t, and they all knew why.

“It shouldn’t fucking matter how Bobby identifies, just that I care about him and wanted this with him. Fucking hockey.” Dan swore about it, cursed it up and down, but thinking about losing it made panic swell. He couldn’t lose hockey, but he didn’t want to have to lose what he had with Bobby. It was small and new, but it was the best thing that had happened to Dan since hockey.

“You could still have both,” Ian pointed out, frowning down at his glass on the table. There was a ring of condensation puddled around it and he seemed to be paying more attention to that than to Dan.

Dan snorted. “Not sure Bobby is the kind of guy to hide in the shadows.”

There was a thoughtful look on Ian’s face. “You could just date him in the open.”

The idea of Ian—Ian who hadn’t known a few days ago that Dan even liked guys—even discussing the idea of coming out was such a strange concept that it took Dan a minute to realize what he was saying. Ian apparently did too, because he screwed up his face and waved a hand.

“I didn’t mean you had to make a big announcement and shit. Just date him and see what happens.”

“You live in Manhattan,” Kayla said quietly, over the voice in Dan’s head that said it was a good idea. “Bobby lives in Detroit. If you think people aren’t going to notice you two meeting up – aren’t going to take pictures and exploit you, you’re mistaken.”

Despite the logic, despite knowing Kayla was right, Dan couldn’t keep himself from thinking about it. “I’m not that well known.”

Kayla laughed, less amused, more mocking. “You’ve just won gold for your country. You scored the game winner, Dan. People are gonna take notice of you now. That’s why Mom came here.”

Dan buried his face in his hands. “I don’t want to have to choose.”

“Between hockey and your sexuality,” Kayla said gently. “Or between hockey and Bobby?”

They were both the same thing.

Dan opened his mouth to say it, closed it again when he realized no, they really weren’t. He had always thought of it as having hockey versus everybody knowing he was gay. The idea of that had terrified him, having to talk about his sexuality and how it would affect his game, questions that media wouldn’t think to ask a straight player and all because people assumed Dan would suddenly be staring at them wanting to fuck them.

Being in a relationship would change that. He’d be off limits and would give the media little reason to question his motives.

Either way, it was attention, and Dan doubted Bobby wanted anything to do with him.

“I can’t drag Bobby into anything,” Dan said, scrubbing his hands over his face and sitting back down. A quick glance at his watch told him that they’d have to leave soon to be on time for the flights. “He made it clear that he wouldn’t be with me until I learned that I control my career.”

“So?” Ian shrugged. “That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be with you.”

“No,” Dan said, staring at his hands. “It doesn’t even mean he wants me to come out. He just wants me to want what I have and not do it because it’s what Mom wants.”

“So, what will you do?” Kayla said, leaning against him a little, chin on his shoulder. It was the same way she’d leaned against him when he told her he was gay.

Something blossomed in his chest. Fear, apprehension, but certainty too.

“Take control of my career.”