Chapter Six

Dan was glad he was right.

The rink was mostly empty but for a few skaters on the ice. A severe looking woman with a hoodie and leggings skated up to the side of the rink as Dan and Kayla approached and Dan shivered just looking at her. How she could wear leggings in a rink and not be cold was beyond Dan.

“Isabelle.”

“Katarina,” Kayla said, grinning. “Am I late?”

Katarina sighed, giving Kayla the once over. “You will be by the time you change.”

Kayla gave Dan’s arm a pat and hurried away toward the changing rooms. Katarina turned back to the rink and Dan let his gaze wander to some of the dancers on the ice. Bobby wasn’t there, which was more of a relief than Dan had been expecting, but he did recognize a few of the faces. Meliorn was out there and when he caught sight of Dan, he raised his hand before doing a complicated turn that had Dan wincing on his behalf. There were two women, one slightly older than Kayla and the other about the same age.

“So,” Katarina said, breaking the silence. “You are a hockey player?”

“Yeah,” Dan said, hands awkward by his sides. Katarina was as intimidating as his mother, but in a less severe way, despite how sharp her face was. “Manhattan Hunters, ma’am.”

Katarina shook her head, tutting. “Am not an old woman. Katarina is fine.”

“Katarina.” Dan always felt weird calling an adult he didn’t know by their first name. “How is Kayla doing?”

“Well.” Katarina didn’t seem like she was lying, but that wasn’t particularly forthcoming. She seemed to realize it too. After barking a command at the younger of the women in French she looked back at Dan. “She has a good chance. If,” and she stressed the word, “she keeps her concentration.”

Kayla chose that moment to pick her way across the rink, skates on and dressed in workout clothes she usually reserved for the gym. “It was all I had.”

“It will do,” Katarina said. “Now skate.”

Kayla nodded, gliding out onto the ice and Dan leaned forward against the rink side, getting comfortable. He would stay until Kayla was done and they could travel back together. There would be enough time to get ready for the opening ceremony and look presentable.

There was music already playing throughout the rink, and Dan let it wash over him as Kayla glided around the ice. He had been to plenty of her competitions when he could get the time away from games, and he always loved to watch her. Katarina skated closer to Kayla—barking at the other dancers to clear the way, who did without grumbling. Dan wondered if they were here as Olympians. Kayla was clearly the sole focus of Katarina’s attention and Dan could see why. The only things he knew about figure skating, he knew because Kayla had told him. He didn’t know the points and shit that went along with it, just like she never cared to remember the rules of ice hockey, probably deliberately, but even Dan was impressed with the way she moved to the music.

“Brilliant, isn’t she?”

Dan startled, swallowing thickly as Bobby leaned against the rink next to him. “Yeah.”

Bobby was deliberately not looking at him, so Dan stared back at the ice, at Kayla lifting her leg back and clutching it as she spun.

“Woah,” Dan said. He’d seen her do it before, but something made him vocalize his awe. His sister bent in ways he never could, not even when he was being slammed into the boards.

“Her Biellmann spin is amazing,” Bobby agreed.

“Her what?”

Bobby was smiling, turning to glance at Dan quickly before looking away. “Biellmann spin. That’s the move she’s doing.”

“Oh.” Dan frowned. They lapsed back into silence until Kayla did a jump sequence. “What’s that?”

Bobby didn’t answer for a moment, body stiffening. Dan didn’t know what he had done wrong and it was awkward for a beat, two, until he felt like he could kick himself. He had spent so long beating himself up for confessing something stupid, he didn’t stop to think about whether Bobby was all right with Dan just blurting stupid things out when he’d let Dan have rink time.

“I don’t think I said thanks,” Dan said quietly. Bobby stared at him and Dan shifted uncomfortably. “For the rink time yesterday.”

Bobby waved a hand. “It was nothing.”

“Not for me.” Dan kept his eyes on Kayla but injected enough sincerity into his voice that he hoped Bobby believed him. “I hate all this,” he said, waving a hand to encompass not only the rink but all of Calgary. “I didn’t even want to come.”

Giving up the pretense of watching Kayla, Bobby turned to face Dan, confusion all over his face. “You didn’t want to come to the Olympics?”

Dan knew it sounded stupid to anybody who couldn’t understand his life. “Everyone wants it,” Dan said eventually. “I know that, and I know I sound crazy. I just … didn’t.”

Bobby’s smile was warm and kind. “It doesn’t make you crazy. You must have your reasons. You don’t strike me as the crazy type.”

“You never know,” Dan said, feeling crazy for fighting it, though there was humor bubbling up in his chest. “I could be a serial killer masquerading as a hockey player. Waiting for the right time.”

Snorting, Bobby gestured to where Kayla was doing another of those Bell spins or whatever Bobby called them. “Anything’s possible, though I can’t imagine how anyone with Kayla as a sister could turn into a serial killer.”

Dan couldn’t either. “I could still be a serial killer.”

His petulance was apparently amusing to Bobby because he rested a hand on Dan’s arm and squeezed. “If you want to be a serial killer… actually, no, don’t be a serial killer.”

“I’m not,” Dan said quietly, his attention narrowed down to the hand Bobby had on his arm. Be calm, he told himself sternly. Either Bobby was oblivious to his panic, or he was ignoring it completely because he smiled, squeezing again.

“That’s always good to know. Would hate to get stabbed during the opening ceremony.”

“Oh, God,” Dan said before he could stop himself.

Bobby gave him a pat on the arm and let go. Dan told himself that he didn’t miss Bobby’s hand. “Not looking forward to that?”

Dan shook his head. “Too many people and I can only smile for so long.”

Letting out a genuine laugh, Bobby turned back to the rink, eyes on Kayla and Katarina. Dan took the time to look, from the way Bobby’s eyes were crinkling in the corners as he smiled to the line of his jaw, to the muscles that Dan hadn’t been imagining the day before. Bobby peered at him but didn’t bring up the fact that Dan was staring. Dan was disappointed and then irritated with himself. Why did he want Bobby to bring up the fact that Dan was a creeper, staring at someone who was carefully avoiding the fact that Dan had confessed to being gay?

“Look, about last night,” Dan blurted out because Kayla was getting ready to finish up, and he didn’t want Bobby to disappear without saying something.

“Dan,” Bobby said, talking over him. “You don’t have to.”

“No, I do,” Dan said, words tumbling out of his mouth before he could take them back. “I didn’t mean to say it like that and if I made you uncomfortable by hitting on you or whatever, I didn’t mean to. I’m just trying to, I don’t know.”

“Dan,” Bobby said again. His tone was gentle. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I shouldn’t have pressed you about your hockey.”

Dan swallowed, nodding dumbly, like one of those bobble-head figures. God, he felt like an idiot. “I’m glad you did.”

Bobby looked surprised. “You are?”

“I hate keeping secrets all the time.” Dan hated the admission, and tore his eyes away from Bobby, out onto the ice. He avoided looking at Kayla and instead focused on the slashes in the ice, fingers tight around the boards. “I never feel like myself. Last night was… it was good. Terrifying, and I’m scared everyone will find out and my mom will find out and I’ll lose everything. But I’m not,” Dan paused, swallowed, eyes darting up to Bobby. His face was carefully neutral. “I’m not sorry I said it. Even if it probably made you uncomfortable.”

“I’m bisexual.” Bobby nudged him gently with his shoulder. “I’m not uncomfortable with you being gay. I get it.”

“No offense,” Dan said, frustration bleeding into his tone. “I don’t think you can.”

Instead of getting mad, Bobby shrugged easily, a rueful smile on his face. “Probably not. There’s nothing wrong with who you’re attracted to, Dan, no matter what the NHL or hockey culture, in general, tells you.”

“I know that.” Dan did. It was just easier to pretend that he wanted to pick up girls than it was to face the vitriol that went down in a locker room whenever it came to women or LGBT athletes. “You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to smack someone for being thoughtless.”

“That,” Bobby said, pushing away from the boards as Kayla and Katarina skated over. “Is something I can empathize with.”

Kayla grinned and threw her arms over Bobby, tugging him over the boards slightly. “Bobby! I was hoping you’d come.”

“You did call me, Isabelle,” Bobby said lightly.

“Kayla,” Dan hissed.

Unrepentant to the last, Kayla gave them both a roll of the eyes. “Please. You both want to bone each other.”

Katarina was wisely pretending not to listen.

“Kayla, fuck,” Dan muttered, shoving away from the rink. “You can’t just—”

Bobby looked just as furious. “It’s not something to joke about, Kayla.”

Looking between them, Kayla colored and shrugged, though there was regret in her eyes. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Bobby sighed, nodding his head in Dan’s direction. “It’s not an easy thing, what your brother told you. Don’t make light of it.”

Dan didn’t know what had his stomach rolling more, the look of guilt on Kayla’s face or the fact that Bobby was standing up for him. “It’s all right.”

“Not it’s not,” Kayla said, her expression downcast. “I just want you to be happy.”

“You said.” Dan sighed. “I will be, Kay, I promise. But you have to let me do this on my own.”

Kayla nodded quickly, always so quick to want to have Dan happy with her. Their fights never lasted long. Part of Dan, the vicious part he tried not to let out too often, wanted to be angry at her. Bobby seemed to be doing that on his own, though, so Dan leaned across to hug Kayla quickly.

“It’s all right.” It wasn’t, but Dan was exhausted with his feelings flying in a million different directions and wanted some normality back in his life.

Kayla rubbed at her face and both she and Katarina left the rink, Kayla to change and Katarina to do whatever it was coaches did.

“Thank you,” Dan said, once they were alone.

Bobby was still scowling, but he gave Dan a quick smile. “You’re welcome.”

The silence wasn’t as uncomfortable this time, but Dan still found himself wanting to break it. He hovered awkwardly next to the rink side, tapping his fingers on the boards. “Do you maybe… I would like… A drink.”

“You want a drink?”

Bobby was clearly being deliberately obtuse, but when Dan looked up, Bobby had a soft smile on his face, warm and happy, surprised. Maybe Dan wasn’t obvious in his flirting?

“Last night,” Dan started. “I was flirting.”

“I know,” Bobby said gently. “That doesn’t always mean it’s serious.”

“I don’t know if you know this,” Dan said, leaning in as if it was a secret. He was feeling light as if he could say whatever he wanted, and Bobby wouldn’t leave. He tested it. “I’m serious all the time.”

Bobby’s smile was so fucking brilliant it made Dan’s chest constrict painfully. “Really?”

“Yep,” Dan said, popping the p. “About the drink too.”

“You want company for that drink?” Bobby asked, raising an eyebrow.

Realizing that his broken sentence hadn’t been an invitation, Dan felt his cheeks heat up. “Yes. If you wanted.”

“We have an opening ceremony to attend,” Bobby reminded him, gripping Dan’s arm before he could retract. “But after, I would very much like to have a drink with you.”

“Oh,” Dan said, wondering if his pulse was supposed to be hammering quite so much. God, he needed to sit down. “Good.”

Kayla’s voice cut through the fuzziness in Dan’s head, and he snapped his gaze to her over Bobby’s shoulder. She was laughing, rooting around in her bag for something. When he looked back at Bobby, there was an odd expression on his face and Dan couldn’t figure out why.

“What?”

Bobby quickly glanced back at Kayla and then down to where Dan had his hand on Bobby’s arm. Dan hadn’t even realized he’d done that. Bobby expected him to move it. Feeling defiant, Dan shrugged, licking his bottom lip.

“So,” he said. “I’m having a drink with you, aren’t I?”

Bobby nodded, his smile just as blinding. “I hope so.”

“I will,” Dan promised, ignoring the look Kayla gave them as she peered at Dan’s hand, then between them. “What?”

“Nothing,” Kayla said quickly, but she looked pleased as the three of them trooped out of the rink. “Not skating, Bobby?”

Looking pointedly at the outside of the rink, Bobby raised his eyebrows. “You called me to come down. You didn’t say you wanted to see me skate.”

“What are you skating to?” Dan said, feeling like an idiot when he did. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer that.”

“It’s not a secret,” Bobby said, standing closer to Dan then he needed to as they waited for a cab. “Perhaps I’ll show you.”

Dan didn’t know what made him say it, only that he was riding the high of having a drink with someone—with Bobby!—and it was the first time he’d felt this comfortable with himself in a long time. “Maybe I’ll just come to watch you.”

Bobby looked surprised. “Oh?”

“That’s all right isn’t it?” Dan asked, suddenly self-conscious. Maybe it would be too weird. He knew the Olympics was all right with members of a Team supporting other sports, but maybe that was too much for Bobby.

“Of course, it is,” Bobby said immediately. “I can show Kayla up.”

“Hey,” Kayla said, without heat, laughing. “We can have a salchow-off.”

Dan had no idea what a salchow was, but both Kayla and Bobby were bickering good-naturedly and he felt good, excited for what was to come. Not all of that was attributed to having revealed himself to the two people around him, but he wasn’t enough of an idiot to think it was unrelated.