Chapter Sixteen

“Just one more medal to get,” Rafael said.

They were fresh off their semi-finals—scoring themselves a win—and had spent the early evening watching the figure skating competition gala. Bobby had looked good, and Dan had seen Simon skating for the first time, with his dance partner Maia. Dan knew less about ice dancing than he did figure skating, so he couldn’t say whether they were good.

Helena seemed to think they had been, with the way she was gushing about their spins and moves, cheeks tinged pink with how much alcohol she’d consumed thus far.

“Hopefully a gold,” Kayla said. She wasn’t disappointed about getting a bronze. Dan hadn’t seen her without a smile since the medal ceremony. She had told him in undertones that it was mostly because their mother wouldn’t care either way, so she didn’t have the stress of winning gold.

Dan’s want of a medal had little to do with making his mother proud and more of being able to get further with Bobby. Not that he hadn’t been having fun. After every win, Bobby seemed to be there, ready with a kiss, a hand on Dan’s dick, anything that had them trying to keep their privacy.

“I don’t think Dan cares, do you, Dan?” Rafael said.

“Fuck off,” Dan said, good-naturedly, but he couldn’t help but dart a quick look at Bobby. Bobby was grinning, dimples in his cheeks and Dan’s heart lurched.

“Gross,” Ian said, wrinkling his nose.

Dan’s head darted up, fear settling low in his stomach.

“All right,” Kayla said. “What the hell is up with you guys? You’re both weird.”

Ian opened his mouth and Dan panicked, wondering what he was going to say. Most of the people at the table knew, but Rafael – Ian wouldn’t do that, would he?

“You’re not subtle,” Rafael said suddenly.

Dan was rapidly losing control of the situation and he clutched at the edge of the table, feeling sick to his stomach. Even Bobby seemed to be concerned, staring at Rafael with surprise.

“You’re mysteriously absent from the room all night,” Rafael explained patiently, something dark in his eyes. “Then Bobby’s roommate makes a comment in the lobby about being sexiled.”

“Fuck,” Bobby said.

“What,” Dan managed.

There was a horrible moment where Dan didn’t know what to do. His hands felt clammy, his heart beating too fast in his chest. Fuck fuck fuck went around his head like a mantra.

“Rafael,” Bobby started. “Please—”

“I’m not about to say something, Bobby, Christ,” Rafael said, frowning. He looked at Dan, a look of betrayal on his face. “Did you really think I would?”

“It’s the NHL,” Dan explained slowly, unable to look up from his hands. “I think everyone’s gonna say something.”

“Maybe you should rethink your assessment.” Rafael’s tone was clipped, angry. “We’re not all homophobes, Dan.”

“You think that makes it okay?”

“Dan,” Kayla started.

“No, Kay. I’m sick of pretending that it’s all right for me to talk about this, that I’m suddenly supposed to realize all my friends knew all this time and were just waiting for me to say something.” Dan turned to Rafael, trying to keep a hold on his temper and failing. “I’m sorry if you think I hurt you by not trusting you, but I have to step onto that ice every day and hear slurs and comments about my fucking sexual preferences. I’m supposed to take it and be happy about it and pretend I like women just because it’s easier for everyone that way.”

Rafael looked startled, some of the anger replaced with understanding.

Dan didn’t care. He clenched his hands into fists. “Do you know what it’s like hiding that every day? Not being able to talk about what I did the night before, or who was catching my eye because nobody in the locker room wants to hear it.”

There was an awful silence around the table and Dan felt as if he were going to sink through the floor, shame warring with the anger. He shook it off, scrubbing at his face.

“When I’m not here,” he said, waving a hand to indicate more than just the restaurant. “I’ll probably be glad to have friends around me who know. Right now, with the world watching these games? You’ll forgive me if I’m not leaping for joy at you all talking about it.”

Dan shoved away from the table, ignoring the calls for him to wait, and stalking out of the restaurant. It reminded him of Kayla’s competition, of leaving Ian and Bobby in the stands, but so much worse. Dan didn’t know where he was going. He couldn’t return to the team rooms, not if Rafael was going to want to talk about this, and it was late enough that staying out for long alone wasn’t an option. Not that he was afraid for his safety, but he had training in the morning, a final to play for and everything was going to shit.

Someone was running toward him, but Dan didn’t turn around.

“Dan,” Bobby said, breathless. He curled a hand around Dan’s arm and whirled him around.

“What?” Dan said, throat tight with emotion. “God, Bobby, I feel like ever since I came here, my life is unraveling. I don’t know what to do.”

Bobby tugged him off the main path, ducking behind one of the team buildings. “Listen to me.”

Dan stared down at him, resting his hands awkwardly on Bobby’s hips. He didn’t want to be there, wanted to run and not have this conversation, but the pull toward Bobby was still strong and Dan couldn’t tear himself away.

“I swear to you, nobody in there will say anything you don’t want them to.” Bobby touched his jaw. “They care about you, I care about you.”

“I know,” Dan whispered. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know what I’m doing.”

“It’s all right,” Bobby told him. “This isn’t an easy situation.”

Dan laughed humorlessly. “You’re telling me. God, Bobby.”

“Come back inside.” Bobby pressed their foreheads together. “Whatever happens after this, you should have fun tonight.”

The thought of having to face his friends was frightening, but it was as if Bobby being here had helped. Just hearing him talk, trying to soothe Dan, was enough.

“All right,” Dan said slowly. His new-found bravery was going to kill him. “I’ll come.”

Bobby kept hold of his hand as they walked back to the restaurant and didn’t let go until they were back at the table. Dan’s neck prickled with awareness, everyone’s eyes on him, and he sat down sullenly, not knowing where to begin.

“Dan,” Rafael said slowly. “Whatever you want, man, all right?”

Dan shrugged, rubbing at his jaw. “With what?”

“Your life, your rules. I can keep my mouth shut.” Rafael tipped his glass at Dan and drained it, making a face. “I mean, share in the locker room if you want, as long as it’s just us.”

Dan had to laugh at that. The idea of shooting the shit, talking about the guys he’d managed to pick up—not that he really wanted to think about anyone else right now—was hilarious. “Yeah, maybe not. Thanks, though.”

“Whatever,” Rafael said, but he was smiling, rolling his eyes.

Helena was staring at him, eyes wide and round. “I think that was the most I’ve heard you say since I met you.”

Dan grinned, shaking his head as laughter picked up around the table. “I have hidden depths.”

“Clearly,” Ian said, and though Dan was worried by the tone, he was grinning. “What made you pick Bobby? So not what I thought you’d go for.”

“You’ve thought about Dan with guys?” Kayla asked sweetly, and from the way Ian flinched, she’d either kicked him under the table, or someone else had.

Dan sighed. “It’s to be expected, Kayla. He’s just jealous Bobby is hotter than Helena. No offense, Helena.”

“None taken,” Helena said, over Ian’s outraged spluttering.

Simon was frowning. “Do you really think so?”

That started up a round of whether Bobby or Helena was the hottest—both of whom seemed just as invested in the results—and Dan let the sounds wash over him. Bobby’s fingers landed on his thigh and gave him a reassuring squeeze. It wasn’t perfect, but it was enough for now.

“We should keep in contact after this,” Helena said an hour later, the six of them making their way back to the team quarter. She had clearly had too much alcohol, Kayla and Ian both helping to prop her up.

“I think you’ve had a bit too much to drink, babe,” Kayla said.

“She’s not wrong though,” Simon added helpfully. “It’s been fun.”

“I know most of the people here,” Rafael pointed out. “Not sure I want to hang with them away from the Olympics.”

“Bullshit,” Bobby said cheerily. He was bumping shoulders with Dan, their hands not touching, but close enough that they could be if Dan wanted to. “You always wanna hang with me.”

“Ah,” Rafael said, looking back over his shoulder. “But you’re never in Manhattan.”

Oh. Dan hadn’t thought about that.

Bobby made a face. “That’s true.”

“How often are you in Manhattan?” Dan said, keeping his tone light, trying not to give anything away.

Rafael gave him a knowing look, and even Kayla’s mouth had a downturn to it, but Dan had never known when to quit for his own good.

“Probably about as much time as you spend in Detroit,” Bobby said, and when Dan met his eyes, there was a shadow there that he recognized. Perhaps Bobby had thought about it and knew exactly where Dan’s head was at.

Detroit and New York were both in the same conference. Their teams met a lot, but that wasn’t particularly long. The thought of having to spend so much time away from him, from anyone Dan chose to be with, wasn’t something he’d ever considered. It had always been about hiding himself and never considering the implications of just what might happen if he did feel comfortable.

“You know,” Bobby said, almost conversationally, fingers touching Dan’s hand lightly. Dan let him, shadowed as they were by their friends. “The future is a medal away.”

It was a reminder that there was still time here, that there was still something for them here and whatever the future held, Dan wasn’t about to pass up sex with Bobby.