CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN
____________________
Calder
Moonlight reflected off the splashing water that rippled and swirled in the wake of the long powerful strokes of my arms and legs. I swam fast and hard across the narrow lap pool to the far end one more time, then stopped to catch my breath with a hand clutching the concrete edge. I blew out one panting breath after another, sucking air into my oxygen starved lungs as I shook the water vigorously from my hair before pushing it back out of my eyes. My muscles ached and burned from the strenuous activity, probably made worse by the fact that this was the fourth night in a row that I'd pushed my body to the limits like this. I suspected there were going to be quite a few more of them too.
I puffed out a harsh sigh as I pushed off from the side and paddled slowly to the stairs, so I could climb out. My legs felt rubbery as I stepped up out of the pool, the cool water sluicing down my nude body as a soft breeze made goosebumps shiver across my skin. I grabbed my towel off the nearby lounger I'd left it on and dried off as I looked across the perfectly manicured lawn that stretched out along the opposite side of the pool and continued to the edge of the tree line.
The thick woods that wrapped around my home were dark and almost foreboding as a gentle breeze rustled softly through the leaves. Chirping crickets filled the otherwise tranquil night and were my only company. I usually found comfort in being alone out here like this, but not tonight. I frowned as I shook my head, then picked my phone up off the lounger and turned to go inside with my towel flung carelessly over one shoulder. I didn't have any neighbors, so even if modesty was an issue for me, there was no one to witness me walking naked across the large patio toward the back door.
The lights were off inside and the windows that made up most of the walls on the back of my house were dark. However, there was still enough moonlight to illuminate the clean and modern geometric lines of my massive two-story home. Its ten thousand square feet were far too much room for one person, but the location far outside of town and the property's seclusion had been irresistible when I purchased it three years ago. After growing up surrounded by so many people and the stifling chaos of the city, and The Armpit in particular, living out here away from all of that was a boon to me.
I stepped inside the house on the walkout basement level, and walked across the maple hardwood floor of my workout room to the matching stairs, using my phone to light the way. I made my way up past the first floor and continued to the second to enter my bedroom. I glanced out the massive window at the balcony that overlooked the pool as I plugged my phone in on my nightstand before going into the bathroom. I took a quick shower to wash the chlorine off my body, then padded across the whisper soft carpet to my low platform bed and climbed in between the plush white sheets. I laid down on my back and stared up at the ceiling waiting for sleep, but knew it probably wouldn't come anytime soon, even if it was just shy of three A.M.
My thoughts turned to Ella like they always did when I wasn't keeping my mind occupied with work or rigorous exercise. My mind was in turmoil over her, missing her yet knowing I couldn't have her, not and risk my heart and sobriety again. I couldn't see how my life would fit into a relationship anyway. My long and late work hours weren't exactly conducive to one, and my unorthodox sex life wasn't something most women would understand let alone accept or be open to trying.
My body was far more unambiguous about it, and craved Ella every night, my cock hard and throbbing with wanting her until I had to rub one off for some relief. I didn't know which was keeping me from sleep more, but at least one was an easy if temporary fix.
It had been four days now since I left her asleep in her bed to slip out like a coward without a word. I hadn't set actual eyes on her since. Mind you, I'd seen her on the security feeds frequently, and I felt like some sort of fucked-up stalker while I watched her. However, I apparently didn't feel bad enough about it to stop. I felt like I was on a slippery slope just waiting to trip up and slide back down to rock bottom.
I needed to put a stop to this unhealthy obsession that wasn't going to end well, but I couldn't figure out a way to shake it. Maybe going cold turkey was the answer. I could look into getting Ella a position at one of my smaller bars that I only had to visit infrequently. I didn't want to fire her since she didn't have a lot of job options. The last thing I wanted to do was cause her more stress or hurt her. She'd been through enough already.
I decided to talk to Gwen about it later today, and see which of my businesses could use more help. With that decision made, a bit of tranquility fell over me, enough to let me finally drift off to sleep.
Midmorning found me walking into R&C LTD's office. The Indigo Room was closed today, since it was Wednesday, but that didn't mean there wasn't work to do. Running two huge nightclubs and multiple smaller bars was a never-ending job. There was always some crisis or another to manage.
"Good morning, Calder," Gwen called out with a smile as I walked past her desk.
"Morning, Gwen," I said with a nod. I couldn't agree with the "good" part of her greeting. I'd barely started my day, and I was already tired from my late night swim, my fitful sleep, and my workout this morning.
Gwen stood and followed me down the hall to my office, rattling off my schedule for the day and all the things I needed to take care of. I slipped off my suit jacket and hung it over my chair before settling into it carefully with a soft groan of pain as my muscles twinged. Gwen took a seat across the desk from me and finished up her briefing. I clarified a few things and delegated a few of the less pressing issues to her. She nodded with a smile and stood up to leave my office while I pulled my laptop out of my canvas messenger bag and set it on the desk. That was when I remembered my plans to transfer Ella and put some much-needed distance between us.
"Wait, Gwen," I said. "How's Ella doing so far?"
It was an innocent question an employer would ask, and a plausible reason to broach the subject. I didn't want Gwen to know about my personal involvement with Ella. I wasn't proud of my inability to control myself around her or how far out of control I let it get.
"She's settling in and getting the hang of things pretty quickly I'd say." She made a pained expression. "I'm sorry I took such a risk hiring someone with so little experience, but she just reminded me so much of myself when you gave me a chance to prove myself."
"Everyone deserves the opportunity to prove themselves, Gwen, no matter what happened in their past," I told her sincerely as I rubbed at my left elbow without thinking. It was only right that after Rex gave me a chance, that I paid if forward to someone deserving like Gwen.
Her eyes flashed over to my elbow, and she nodded in understanding. We never talked about it, but I'd never hidden my scars from her. She knew exactly what they were.
"I can never thank you enough for giving me a chance," she said gratefully. "I saw myself in Ella, and knew she needed to be given one too."
At that point, I decided not to bring up my plans to transfer Ella to Gwen just yet. She seemed pretty invested in Ella's employment here, and I'd have to tread lightly when I did bring it up. Waiting seemed like a good idea.
"She and her daughter deserve a better life, a better future," Gwen continued as she smiled wistfully. "Her daughter reminds me a lot of my son at that age."
"You met her daughter?" I asked, curious about Ella's child even if the thought of her having a child seemed bazaar and unreal. I guess in my head, she was still that twenty-two-year-old girl I remembered from so long ago.
"Yeah," she said. "She had Violet with her when she came in for her interview." Her smile widened into a grin. "That kid is something else." She snorted out a laugh, then stood. "I'll let you get to work."
I nodded as she walked out and reached over to turn on my laptop, then froze as my brain caught up to what it just heard. Ella's daughter's name was Violet. She'd brought her here the day of her interview. It had to have been the same girl I'd talked to in the break room that day, the one I now realized looked familiar because she looked just like her mother. The same girl who'd told me she was almost twelve years old. The same girl whose mother left me twelve years ago. A sick nauseating wave flowed over me, curdling my stomach.
Holy fuck, Violet was my daughter, my fucking daughter. Ella lied to me about her daughter's age. She fucking lied. She must have been pregnant when she left me. She took my child away from me, then let some fucking monster raise her as his own instead. Why? Why?
A sudden and violent torrent of pain, rage, and betrayal swept through my body, burning the sick feeling away in an instant. Before I knew what I was doing, I was up out of my chair and striding out of my office. I stormed out of the building to my car without even acknowledging Gwen's voice calling out after me to ask where I was going. I didn't give a fuck. I wanted the truth. I wanted answers. And Ella was going to fucking give it to me now.
The drive to Ella's house was a complete blur as white-hot fury roiled inside me all the way there. I screeched to a halt in front of the little red four-square house and flew out of my car, stalking up the sidewalk with my hands clenched into fists. I pounded on the door, then breathed raggedly as I waited to confront Ella and demand answers. A moment later, the door opened and instead of Ella, there stood Violet smiling up at me in happy recognition, her resemblance to her mother startling and undeniable.
"Hi," she said in a sweet dulcet tone.
Suddenly, my heart stuttered and my brain stopped. I didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say. This was my daughter, my child, and all I could manage to do was stand there staring at her with my mouth hanging open like an imbecile.