CHAPTER
FIVE
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Ella
"Mom?" Violet said conversationally. "Can we be vegans?"
"What?" I asked incredulously as I turned from the bathroom vanity to stare wide-eyed at my daughter.
She was sitting on the closed toilet seat watching me get ready for my first night of work at The Indigo Room. I still couldn't believe I got the job and was already starting the very next day.
"Meat is murder, Mom," she explained as she gave me a serious expression. "We shouldn't eat it anymore."
"How do you even know what a vegan is?" I asked her in bewilderment, wondering where this crazy notion of hers was coming from.
"Duh, the Internet," she said with an eye roll. "We shouldn't eat dairy or eggs either, Mom. The animal industry is horrible and cruel, so we'll have to go to the store and buy all new food tomorrow."
I sighed deeply. "Baby, I can't afford that. I haven't even worked my first day yet, let alone gotten paid."
"Oh," she said dejectedly with a slight frown. She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully, then her face suddenly lit up in excitement. "Maybe I'll ask Uncle Evan to be a vegan too, and then he can take me to the store."
It was all I could do not to laugh as I imagined Evan's reaction to being asked to become a vegan. The man thought barbecue was a food group. "That's a great idea, baby," I said as I fought a smirk.
Her smile widened. "We can all be vegans. It'll be so awesome."
I shook my head as I turned back to the mirror to put some lip gloss on before eying myself critically. I looked pretty good all things considered. I'd gone for a smokey look for my eyes and had my blond hair up in a loose ponytail. I was dressed in The Indigo Room's uniform of black slacks and a dark-blue button-down shirt that I charged to my credit card earlier today. I couldn't bring myself to ask Evan for more money again. The shirt was fitted with an elegant sexiness that wasn't over the top. I was relieved that I didn't have to wear some tight skimpy outfit with a short skirt and cleavage spilling out all over the place. Especially, since I didn't have that much to begin with, and I wasn't the svelte twenty-something I used to be before I had Violet. A fact Ray had frequently made a point of telling me over the years.
"You look beautiful, Mom," Violet told me.
"Thank you, baby," I said gratefully. I glanced at my phone and saw the time. "Oh, I've gotta go. Don't want to be late my first day." I hurried out into the hall with Violet right behind me.
"When will you be home?" she asked in a worried tone.
I stopped and turned, seeing a forlorn expression on her face that tore at my heart.
"I'll be off work at three," I explained. "You'll be sound asleep most of the time I'm gone, and I'll be home before you know it."
"What if something happens to you?" Violet asked waveringly with tears glittering in her eyes. "What if you never come home?" The tears began trickling down her cheeks. "Just like Daddy."
"Oh, baby, come here," I whispered and opened my arms.
She surged forward and wrapped her arms around my waist and began sobbing softly as she burrowed her face against my shirt.
"I'll be fine. I'm just going to work and coming right back. Nothing is going to happen to me."
"Promise?" she whimpered out pathetically.
"I promise." I knew no one could really promise something like that, but it was what my little girl needed to hear right now, not the truth. I held her for a few more moments until I really needed to leave. "I have to go, baby." I pulled back and wiped a few tears from her cheeks. "Do you want to sleep in Penny's room until I get home?"
She grimaced. "Ugh, no," she blurted out. "She snores and hogs the covers."
Penny was Evan and Beth's four-year-old daughter. Violet and she had gotten pretty tight these last few weeks, despite their age difference. Penny was completely enamored with my daughter and idolized her.
"You could sleep in Luke's room," I suggested with a smirk.
Luke was Evan and Beth's eight-year-old son. Violet's relationship with him was a little more complicated. He tended to antagonize her every chance he got since he knew it bothered her.
"Ew, that's even worse." Her disgusted expression deepened, making her look disturbingly like Ray. "He farts in his sleep."
I laughed, fighting not to shudder from being reminded of my husband again.
"I happen to know from first-hand experience that so do you," I told my daughter with a wide grin.
"I do not," she denied sharply, but grinned back at me.
"Sure," I said dubiously. "Do me a favor and try to get it all out before I get home, and I'll do the same. Okay?"
"You're gross, Mom."
"But you love me anyway," I replied.
"I do," she said softly.
"And I love you, baby." I pulled her in for another hug. "I've gotta go now. You be good."
"Okay," she said with obvious disappointment.
She followed me out to the living room, where I said a hasty goodbye to my brother and his family. Then I grabbed my purse, hurried out to Evan's old gray Dodge Dakota, and climbed in to start the truck. I took one last look at the house before pulling away and waved at Violet, who was standing on the porch waving back at me with a sad expression. I felt heartsick at leaving her, but this was the first necessary step I had to take to build a new life for us.
Traffic was light, and I made it to the club with time to spare. Gwen had me coming in a half-hour early to get oriented before I was thrown into my first Saturday night at The Indigo Room. I was nervous as I walked through the back entrance. I made my way down a plain looking hallway toward the small break room where I knew the lockers were.
Suddenly, I felt my eyes sting and my breathing quicken as anxiety and terror fell over me. It had been so long since I waited a table or even worked at all, and in a place like this, I didn't know what to expect. I started thinking I might get fired in the first hour. Why did I think I could handle this? I suddenly just wanted to turn around and go home. My steps faltered, and I whirled around back the way I'd come, on the verge of doing just that when I heard Gwen's voice.
"Ella?"
I turned to find Gwen coming out of the break room and smiling reassuringly at me. She took a closer look at me and frowned.
"Are you okay?" she asked in concern as her brows furrowed. "You look kind of pale."
"I'm fine," I replied, my denial coming automatically like it always did.
She cocked her head, and gave me a doubtful expression. "Are you?" she asked pointedly.
I sighed and shook my head, exasperated with myself. "I...I guess not." My voice was tremulous and frail. Frankly, it was embarrassing. I stared down at the floor, ashamed. "I haven't worked in so long," I whispered. "I'm really scared."
"Of course, you are," she said calmly. "But don't worry. I have a plan for that."
"You do?" I asked as I looked back up at her hopefully.
She nodded. "Come on, let's get your purse put in your locker."
I followed her, admiring her fitted red pants suit that hugged her curves. I didn't think I could have pulled off something so flashy like that, but she looked amazing in it. I got the sense that Gwen loved bold colors since she had bright royal blue on yesterday.
The clean and brightly lit break room was actually pretty big with a kitchenette that had a sink, a microwave, and a refrigerator. A comfy looking couch sat against one wall opposite a swath of lockers on the other, and several tables and chairs filled the center of the room. Over by the lockers, a dark-haired young woman was stuffing her bag into one of them. She turned and pointed a megawatt smile and big warm brown eyes my way. She looked Latino and was very pretty with curves and boobs for miles that her boring uniform couldn't hide. She also looked like she was barely old enough to be here. Suddenly, I felt old.
"Ella," Gwen said as she led me to the new girl, "I'd like you to meet Melanie."
"Hi," Melanie said as her smile widened. She reached a hand out to me.
"Hi," I replied as I shook her hand.
"I'm pairing you with Melanie tonight so she can show you the ropes and keep you out of trouble," Gwen said. "How does that sound?"
"That sounds great," I answered amiably even as I stifled a beleaguered sigh. Yup, I was being trained by a kid.
"Gwen tells me that you're a single mom too," Melanie said. Did she have the kid when she was in middle school?
I smiled and nodded. "I have a ten-year-old daughter."
"My little boy is five." She made a pained expression. "I had him really young, just out of high school." Okay, so maybe she wasn't a baby, but she was still over a decade younger than me. Her face lit up, and her eyes softened. "But Jonah's the best thing that ever happened to me no matter how I came by him."
Ah, now I understood why Gwen was pairing me with this girl. I felt the same way about my daughter, despite who fathered her.
"So's my Violet." I smiled genuinely now, actually starting to feel a little more at ease.
"Your locker is right here," Gwen said as she stepped past me to touch one of the lockers. "I'm going to turn you over to Melanie now, but if you need me, I'll be around."
"Thanks, Gwen," I told her sincerely.
"You're very welcome," she said with a soft smile. She reached out to touch my upper arm. "You're going to be just fine tonight. You'll see."
I nodded, not entirely feeling the confidence she seemed to have in me. Gwen left, and I shoved my purse into the locker before turning to face Melanie.
"Full disclosure," I said grimly. "I haven't worked in a really long time." My voice started to waver slightly, and I hated it. "So please just be patient with me, and I'll do my best not to screw things up too much."
"Don't worry," Melanie said with a reassuring smile. "I'll talk you through everything, and I'll be with you all night. You'll be fine."
Would I? I hoped so. "Okay," I agreed with her, even though I was doubtful I'd be fine at all.
Melanie's smile widened. "Come on, let's do this."
I nodded and followed her out into the hall, convinced now that I'd bitten off more than I could chew when I took this job.
After Melanie gave me a brief yet thorough run-through of how everything worked, the nightclub opened at seven o'clock. The club lights came on, and I stood in amazement as the place morphed from the modernly decorated and starkly industrial space into a sensual and seductive nightclub ready for a night of excess and indulgence. Color changing LED lights lit up the old brick walls, rotating through blue, green, and purple. More LEDs spilled across the dance floor along the slightly raised floor of the seating areas and the DJ booth that flanked it. Swirling and flashing lights on the ceiling spun above the room as pulsing bass-heavy dance music filled the room and throbbed in my chest. The transformation was incredible, and I was impressed.
I shadowed Melanie for the first hour as the club slowly filled up. To my surprise, I began picking up the job a lot quicker than I thought I would. I was so happy and relieved to be proven wrong. Several hours later, I even felt confident enough that when Melanie suggested that I try a table on my own, I immediately agreed.
At first, it went well. My table was a group of college-aged guys who started out polite and easy to deal with since they just ordered a few pitchers of the club's cheapest draft beer. Somewhere along the line as they continued drinking, their initial politeness began to wane. They started getting loud and belligerent as time progressed, but thankfully hadn't aimed any of it at me. Eventually, they ended up ordering some appetizers with their next pitcher, which was probably a good thing since they were getting pretty drunk. I took their food order to the kitchen immediately, then was headed toward the bar for their next pitcher when Melanie found me.
"Hey," she said with a frazzled expression. "I just got a bachelorette party in our section. Do you think you can help me out with it?"
"Sure," I replied immediately, ready for a little break from the drunken idiots at my table.
I followed her, and we spent the next fifteen minutes trying to take drink orders from a bunch of giggling half-drunk twenty-somethings with overdone hair, plastered on makeup, and the short attention span of a group of toddlers. It was frustrating and infuriating, but Melanie and I muddled through it. When we finished, I headed to the pass-through window from the kitchen to grab the appetizers for my table.
I smiled as I approached the table. "Here you go, guys," I announced politely as I put the food down. "Enjoy." I turned to walk away.
"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" one of them growled out angrily.
I whirled to find them all glaring at me. "Excuse me?"
"Yeah, bitch," another said with a sneer. "Did you fucking forget something?"
"Uh...um..." I looked around the table of glaring male faces in confusion. Memories of Ray looking at me that same way had icy fear creeping up inside me, chasing all coherent thought out of my head.
"What's the matter, you too stupid to fucking talk?"
"Yeah, you dumb cow," a third one added. "Where's our fucking beer?"
"I'm...I'm so...so s...sorry," I finally blurted out. Yup, I'd completely forgotten about their drink order.
"What is this, your first fucking day?" the guy snarled out as he glowered at me fiercely.
"I...I..." I stuttered out stupidly. I felt my body shrinking in on itself, instinctively reacting as the fear became terror.
"I...I...I," one of them mocked me with a smirk. "You really are stupid, aren't you?"
"Quit standing there like a dumbfuck and get us our goddamn beer, bitch," another growled out at me.
More memories of Ray verbally berating me flooded my head, making me feel worthless and stupid. I nodded jerkily and scurried away as I fought the tears of humiliation that burned my eyes. I quickly got the pitcher of beer from the bar and hurried back over to the table, hoping I could placate them with it. I'd learned from Ray to do whatever I had to do to keep him happy. The unhappy Ray was a monster I'd tried to keep at bay at all costs.
I was a few feet from the table when I misstepped in my haste and stumbled. I lurched forward, somehow managing not to fall, but the pitcher of beer flew out of my hands, flinging beer all over one of the men at the table. He surged to his feet spluttering expletives as his chair tumbled over backwards. His drunk idiot friends began laughing at him, but he didn't think it was funny at all.
"You stupid fucking cow!" he snarled out viciously at me as he lunged forward and grabbed my upper arms. "You fucking bitch!"
His bruising grip made me remember Ray's hands on me just like this. Ray never came right out and struck me, but he had no problem pushing and shoving me around. I was so terrified that I couldn't even try to get away as the man shook me sharply and continued yelling obscenities at me.
Finally, he flung me away in disgust, and I fell to my knees on the floor. Then he stepped toward me, his face a mask of rage and his hands clenched into fists. I closed my eyes and cringed away, waiting for him to hit me.
"What the fuck is going on here?!" a deep and powerful male voice barked out from nearby. I opened my eyes and looked up to see the back of a tall broad-shouldered man standing between me and my attacker.
"Who the fuck are you?" the beer soaked guy shot back angrily.
"I'm the club's owner," came the immediate and stern reply, and for some reason, his voice sounded familiar, but I was too freaked out to comprehend why.
"This clumsy bitch spilled beer all over me," he snarled out. "She should be fired."
Oh no, I couldn't afford to lose this job.
"So you think that gave you permission to assault her then?" the man who I now knew as the club owner replied, his voice hard and commanding.
"No," the guy replied vehemently. "She...she fell. I told you she was clumsy."
"Really?" the owner asked dubiously. "Perhaps I should go review the security footage and see for myself."
"I...I...uh..." His voice was weak and unsure now.
Just then a giant beast of a man with short dark hair came up behind the guy. He was massive, and had to be at least six and a half feet tall and well over three hundred pounds of pure muscle. A black T-shirt with the word "security" in white letters emblazoned across it was stretched around his huge barreled chest.
"Is everything alright here, sir?" he said, his voice low and threatening in a completely unexpected British accent.
The drunk guy whirled and looked up with a suddenly pale and fearful expression.
"No, Pete," the owner answered. "I believe these men need escorted from my club immediately." He laced the word "men" with obvious disdain.
"Consider it done, Mr. Rennen," Pete said as he turned a hard baleful stare at the entire group of drunks, who were already scrambling out of their chairs to leave.
Wait, did he just say the name Rennen?
Electric prickles of dread shivered through me. It couldn't possibly be him. It couldn't be. Before I could even process what was happening, the club's owner turned to face me, and reached a hand down toward me.
"Are you alright?" his rich and sonorous voice spoke, the reason for its familiarity completely apparent now. It was a voice I knew intimately, and still haunted my dreams and nightmares to this day.
I looked up into piercing crystalline blue eyes as they widened in startled surprise. I stared up at him in stunned recognition. I remembered that face, that strong straight nose, those keen penetrating eyes, and his soft almost black wavy hair.
"Cal?" I asked in dumbfounded incredulity. How could this be?
For a brief second, those blue eyes softened, a ghost of the kind young man I once knew so long ago, but it just as quickly disappeared as they hardened into instant granite. He pulled his hand away and straightened, his body rigid and tense with suppressed anger now.
"My office," he growled out in a low tone that carried so much weight and resonance that his command couldn't be denied. "Now."
Without another word, he whirled and stalked away as I sat on the floor and stared after him in paralyzed shock.