CHAPTER
TWENTY-SEVEN
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Ella
All day, I'd felt like a bit player on The Violet and Calder Show. The two of them swam together for hours, laughing and carrying on as I watched from my lounge chair. Then they made lunch together with Violet hanging on his every word and action as he showed her how to make the delicious quinoa black bean burgers that he grilled for us. I felt left out and jealous, which was ridiculous since I'd wanted some distance from Calder to protect my heart.
Now it was late afternoon, and they were in the pool yet again. This time Calder was showing her how to do the butterfly, and I couldn't help but smile as I watched them. He was so good to her, and she obviously adored him just like I did. It made my heart hurt though, because this was the last time I planned on bringing her here. My smile turned wan, then faltered completely. I still loved him so much, but he wouldn't want to hear that or ever want me again. I'd been reeling from that realization for four days now, and I refused to torture myself into thinking we could have anything like what we used to so long ago. That ship had sailed when I broke his heart, and I had to let him go, no matter if it broke mine in the process. After all, I deserved that pain after what I'd done to him.
I pressed my lips together and fought the tears that threatened as I stared at my clasped hands in my lap. I felt eyes on me and looked up to see Calder watching me with a concerned frown. I know I'd been mostly quiet all day, and this wasn't the first time he'd eyed me worriedly, but I'd made a point of not be alone with him, so he couldn't question me about it or the fact that I'd been purposefully avoiding him since we played on Thursday night.
I didn't want to go there or deal with my heartache yet. I didn't want to put a damper on Violet's fun today either, so instead, I planned to tell him at work on Wednesday that this thing between us had to end. I just hoped I could make it through that conversation without breaking down completely. Shit, I hoped I could hold it together long enough for Calder to take us home without me bawling my eyes out in the car.
Coming here today was a mistake. I knew it had been the lesser of two evils to get away from my soul-sucking father, but I shouldn't have agreed to it. Calder's frown deepened, and he took a step forward with a determined expression. I feared he was going to come over and talk to me. Shit.
Suddenly, lightning streaked frighteningly across the sky, followed closely by loud thunder that rumbled through the ground beneath us. I glanced up to see dark ominous clouds rolling in swiftly from the west. Shit, I'd been so lost in my thoughts, that I didn't even notice the storm approaching. Calder's eyes went wide when he looked up at the sky. He whirled and plucked Violet up out of the water next to him like she weighed nothing, then threw her over his big muscular shoulder. She squealed with laughter as he strode through the water and up the stairs out of the pool with her dangling down his broad bare back. A moment later, big drops of cold rain began to splatter across the concrete patio.
I flew to my feet and quickly gathered up our things as Calder snatched up their towels off the lounger next to mine. I hurried along behind him up the stairs to the first level, and the three of us made it through the glass doors and into the house just before the heavens let loose in a fierce and drenching downpour. Within moments, the water in the pool was churning from the pelting rain and the trees surrounding the house were whipping wildly in the gusting wind.
Calder set Violet down on her feet and wrapped a towel around her slight shoulders. She stared out the massive window that spanned the house's first floor at the storm with big eyes. "Holy shitballs!" she announced loudly.
"Violet Marie!" I snapped out sternly at her crass language. Calder chuckled softly next to me in a low sexy timbre. It made my heart flutter and tingling awareness streak through me to throb down low in my core.
"What?" she asked quizzically. "Uncle Evan says that all the time."
"He's not a ten-year-old little girl," I replied.
Violet grinned up at Calder and shrugged unapologetically.
Calder snorted in amusement as he watched us with a slight smirk. I tried hard not to ogle his bare chest, that was now so close and at eye level, and to ignore the masculine musky scent of him mixed with chlorine that was reaching my nose. The man was sex on a stick, and I wanted to lick every inch of him. I suddenly felt hot all over. Yup, I needed to get a grip. I took a step away from him to cool off. I noticed my daughter's teeth already starting to chatter a little as she pulled her towel tighter around herself.
"Come on, Violet," I told her as I grabbed her shoulders and turned to walk her toward the powder room. "Let's get you into some dry clothes." I hurried away from the hunk of hot temptation in black swim trunks that was sending my libido into overdrive.
When we came back into the living room a short time later, Calder was standing in the kitchen frowning down at his phone. I was disappointed to see that he was now dressed in a black T-shirt and khaki pants. I liked all the yummy bare skin better. Damn it, stop it Ella. I looked out the windows to distract myself. It looked even worse outside, the storm now an inky bruise that stretched across the horizon and had darkened the sky, making it seem much later than it really was. Rain lashed harshly against the glass with a loud hissing sound. Frankly, it was kind of terrifying.
Calder looked up and gave me a brief grave expression before turning a smile on Violet. "How would you like to watch a movie in my home theater downstairs, kid? Maybe your mom will let us have popcorn for dinner."
She gasped excitedly and looked at me with a pleading expression. "Can we, can we? Please, please, please."
Damn, I really needed to get out of here and away from Calder before I lost my nerve to end things between us. The more time I spent with him the more I wanted him, needed him. I glanced outside again, and sighed. There was no way in hell it was safe to drive home right now. What choice did I have? I'd just have to suck it up until the storm broke.
"Okay, baby," I said with a nod.
"Yes," she replied with a fist in the air. She whirled and rushed toward the stairs.
Calder came up next to me and showed me his phone as Violet disappeared out of sight. I looked down at it to see he had a weather app open that showed a radar image of our area. The storm was a huge terrifying swath across the screen. Shit.
"There's a tornado warning," he said grimly. "We need to head downstairs."
I nodded as fear shivered through me, and we hurried down the steps to catch up with my daughter.
At the bottom of the steps, we found Violet fiddling with the knob of a locked door that was right next to the stairwell.
"Wrong door, kid," Calder said with a disquieted expression.
"What's in there?" Violet asked curiously.
"Um..." he answered slowly. "Uh...that room is...uh...private."
"Is it your man cave?" she asked. "Uncle Evan says every man needs one."
"It's uh...something like that," he answered uncomfortably. He nodded toward a door behind Violet. "We're going in there."
She spun and rushed to the other door, flung it open, and went inside. Calder and I followed close behind her. He flipped on the low recessed lighting, and I watched Violet leap up and fling herself onto the wide warm beige sofa that stretched across the middle of the room. It faced a massive television that was set in a dark wood entertainment stand that was built into the wall and stretched across the width of the room. Behind the couch was a raised platform with a long bar, and a row of beige upholstered bar stools lined up behind it. At the back of the room was a tiny wet bar with a fridge and a microwave.
"Can we watch a scary movie?" she asked excitedly.
"No," I answered vehemently, knowing she'd have nightmares all night if we did that.
She moaned dramatically in disappointment. "Aw, mom," she grumbled. "You're no fun at all."
Calder chimed in then, suggesting we watch the latest superhero movie that had just come out, and Violet agreed enthusiastically. A half-hour later, we were all on the couch with Violet sitting in between Calder and me while shoving popcorn in her mouth and grinning happily at the action on the screen. Periodically, Calder would glance at his phone, presumably checking on the storm raging outside. When the movie ended, Violet begged to watch another. I wanted to tell him to take us home instead, but when Calder surreptitiously showed me the radar image again, I knew that we weren't going anywhere just yet. The storm was still slogging across the area with violent fury.
Halfway through the second movie, Violet had fallen fast asleep curled up against Calder's side with his arm wrapped around her. The adorable sight made my heart flutter happily for just a second, and then quickly filled me with sorrow at what wasn't meant to be. I felt my eyes sting, and pressed my lips together as a few tears slipped out. I blinked them away and was grateful for the low lighting to hide them. I sucked it up, and held it together through the rest of the movie.
When the credits began to roll across the screen, I leaned over to whisper to Calder. "I really need to get her home to bed," I told him.
He frowned worriedly in response. "It's late, and even though there's no tornado warning anymore, the storms not over yet," he explained. "Maybe you should just spend the night instead."
"Absolutely not," I replied sharply. Oh God, no. That was just what I needed, to spend the night here lusting for the man I couldn't ever have again. A hurt expression ghosted across his eyes in the low lighting before his face hardened.
"Do you really want to go out in this weather with Violet?" he asked incredulously with an emotional edge to his voice that failed to hide his hurt feelings. Guilt punched me in the gut, both for offending him and for being so desperate to get away from him that I'd risk my daughter's safety. Yup, mother of the year here.
I sighed softly in resignation. "We'll stay," I said in a subdued voice.
He nodded stiffly in reply, then carefully gathered Violet up into his arms. "I'll take you upstairs to one of the guest rooms." His voice was tight and controlled, his eyes flat. He stood and swiftly walked out of the room as I hurried along in his wake feeling like shit about myself.
He carried Violet all the way up to the second floor, and down a long hallway at the top of the stairs that was framed by glass railings and overlooked both the living room and the entryway of the floor below. He stopped at the end of the hallway between two closed doors. He went to the one on the right and walked in with me a close shadow behind him.
He turned on the lights, illuminating the bedroom. The decor was earthy and contemporary, with a large bed covered in cream and brown bedding, and beige unassuming walls. Calder took Violet over to the bed and pulled back the comforter before settling her down on the sheets. He tucked the blankets up over her shoulders, and she mumbled unintelligibly as she snuggled beneath the covers. He reached up to brush my little girl's hair from her cheek.
"Goodnight, Violet," he murmured with a soft affectionate smile. When he straightened and turned to face me, the smile had already slipped away to be replaced with a blank mask. "I'll take you home first thing in the morning, Ella," he spoke gruffly as pain briefly broke through his stony expression to flash across his eyes.
Without another word, he strode purposefully from the room and walked across the hall to another closed door. He opened it and disappeared inside without a single backward glance, closing the door firmly behind him with a solid and definitive thump.
I stood there for a while staring at the closed door, feeling lost and empty inside, before finally turning off the light and climbing into bed with my daughter. I laid there staring at the ceiling as tears slithered from my eyes, consumed with guilt and knowing that sleep would be a long time coming.